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Prayers needed

crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
My parents separated this past week and my mom keeps asking if I'm okay and I tell her I'm okay when I'm actually falling apart. I'm almost 16 this is hard for me because I'm a daddy's girl. I will only get to see my dad once a week for a few hours and I miss him soooooo much :'(


3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
:angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

Routine!
Shampoo n/a
Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:

Comments

  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm so sorry. My parents split when I was older and it was difficult. It is ok to tell your mom you're struggling. It's ok to talk to a family member or friend or ask your parents to help you arrange to speak to a professional of some sort if you just want an impartial place to vent. It's your family, too.

    Take care of yourself and let other people help you if you need it! I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
  • asugirlasugirl Posts: 938Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry! I know this has to be a tough time for you. My daughter is your age, she'll turn 16 in September, how about you? If her dad and I were to separate, she would say she was ok, because that is what teenage girls do. But I know she wouldn't be. How is your relationship with your dad? My daughter is going through the same stuff with her dad that I went through with mine. "He asks me weird questions; he doesn't know how to talk to me!" It's really deja vu for me, makes me laugh because now I know it's pretty normal. Maybe you can plan special stuff for your weekly time with your dad that will make your time together really count. I hope you can maintain a good relationship with both your parents and that everything goes well! :wink:

    2c/3a - fine - medium porosity & density
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I'd tell my mom I'm struggling but I don't want her to worry about me I have a history of self harm and I don't need her worrying about me. I've told a close adult friend. Ill think about telling my mom cause I really need to


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    ((hugs))

    Just be honest with her. Besides, she already knows you lying to her. It's best that she knows what you are lying about. She may be thinking the worse
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Hugs and prayers. So sorry. Maybe you will get to see him more often.

  • DevushkaDevushka Posts: 1,080Registered Users
    ((Hugs)).

    I think it would be helpful to just tell your mom how you're struggling right now. It's a natural reaction that you're having to such a situation, and besides, she probably suspects it's how you're feeling anyway. Your parents surely want you to make it through the breakup of their marriage as best you can (since it's not your fault at all even though you're being effected by it), so keeping communication open and honest with them will probably help that. But keep in mind that although your parents definitely love you and want you to be all right, because of how they're probably caught up in all the stuff they're going through right now, it might be helpful to *you* to find an impartial third party as a sounding board.

    So sorry you're going through all of this. ((Hugs)) Just know that it all really will be all right in the end. Seriously, it really will.

    Peace.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]3b / Fine / Low (to Med) Density / Normal Porosity & Elasticity
    Currently Using [*Holy Grails*]
    Cleansers: DC No-Poo / DC Low-Poo / *BaSo & ACV*
    Co-Washes/ROs: CJ Beauticurls Argan & OO / DC OneC / Organicals DC Creme
    Additives: *Silk Amino Acids* / Honeyquat / Fragrance Oils
    LIs (found some!): KCKT / CJ Beauticurls LI / CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing Daily Condish
    DTs: *Coconut Oil* rinses / *Honey*, EVOO, & DC OneC / CJ Curl Rehab
    Sealer: *DM Super Buttercreme*
    Goal: APL Hair
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    My dad cheated. That's what's breaking me inside. For the past year he's used taking me places as a chance to text some woman. I feel used and betrayed


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • DevushkaDevushka Posts: 1,080Registered Users
    Wow. If I'd been a daddy's girl at your age, that would have torn me up, too.

    But regardless of what your dad did or what your parents are in the middle of, you deserve to feel better. That's really important. You said your mother keeps asking if you're OK, so think about telling her you'd like to talk to a therapist to help you work through some of the feelings you're dealing with. That might help you a lot more than you can understand right now.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]3b / Fine / Low (to Med) Density / Normal Porosity & Elasticity
    Currently Using [*Holy Grails*]
    Cleansers: DC No-Poo / DC Low-Poo / *BaSo & ACV*
    Co-Washes/ROs: CJ Beauticurls Argan & OO / DC OneC / Organicals DC Creme
    Additives: *Silk Amino Acids* / Honeyquat / Fragrance Oils
    LIs (found some!): KCKT / CJ Beauticurls LI / CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing Daily Condish
    DTs: *Coconut Oil* rinses / *Honey*, EVOO, & DC OneC / CJ Curl Rehab
    Sealer: *DM Super Buttercreme*
    Goal: APL Hair
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I think I will ask to see a therapist but first I'll have to Tell my mom how I feel. I've been so depressed since it happened I sleep all day and night


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • RimiRimi Posts: 2,001Registered Users
    Im so sorry to hear that. My best friend's parents are separated and I have quite a few friends whose parents are divorced, so I know the effect that it has on someone our age.

    Definitely talk to your mom about these feelings and thoughts you're experiencing. Most likely, she feels terribly about the situation, and just doesn't know how to help you as you mourn.

    Also feel free to speak to your dad about these feelings of betrayal. If he's a good father, he misses you terribly and hates seeing his little girl in such a state. Next time you see him, gather your thoughts, sit down with and let him know how you feel.

    Also, I'm not sure about your relationship with God, but if you do have one with Him, take some time to turn to Him and pray, asking him for guidance & understanding and to heal your broken heart.

    All the best! <3
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I have a relationship with god I just got back from a week at church camp. It's was the best week of my summer so far. My best friend got saved last week at camp and I figured out that god is really real he's finally truly real to me.


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What your father did was a terrible thing. But plz don't start to think he is a terrible person...or that he loves you any less or doesn't value the relationship that the two of you share.

    The cheating situation and all of that are really adult issues. They have nothing to do with you. They affect you but you didn't cause them, you can't fix them and probably his biggest regret is that he hurt you.

    Try to just maintain a good relationship w/ your father and don't dwell so much on the problems in your parents marriage and the mistakes your father is making.

  • RimiRimi Posts: 2,001Registered Users
    I have a relationship with god I just got back from a week at church camp. It's was the best week of my summer so far. My best friend got saved last week at camp and I figured out that god is really real he's finally truly real to me.


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

    So glad to hear that 😊
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    My mom keeps saying mean stuff about him and it frustrates me and I want to tell her to stop but I have and she didn't stop. This evening my sister had a breakdown and she's older than me but "special" so I feel like I need to stay strong and be there for her but truth is I'm scared as heck myself. I can't go to my mom about how much I miss my dad and I am afraid to tell my dad I miss him because he's kinda depressed. When he called me the other day I heard his gf in the background ask who he was talking to. That really hurt me.


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users
    My parents separated when I was 20 and it still really hurt. I was married with a baby but still felt like my family was breaking. I felt very betrayed by my dad. It took almost a year to really reconnect with him. And even after that I felt like I still had to hide so much of our relationship from my mom. Even 11 years later I have to downplay the relationship my kids have with his wife for fear of hurting my mom. I understand why my mom is still hurt so I try to keep a lot of our relationships separate. It's not easy and honestly still hurts.

    If you aren't comfortable talking to your mom tell her that you're hurting but would really like to talk to a therapist. Someone who isn't involved in what's going on. An objective, understanding ear can really help. Letting her know you are seeking help instead of bottling up emotions or self harming could really help her feel ok about you while she works through her own emotions and feelings about the situation.


    My fat thumb will make mistakes.
    High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I don't know what to do anymore! I text my best guy friend everyday all day and he understands me but I don't understand myself right now. I go from being happy that he's gone to sad and depressed 5 minutes later. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to pray but right now I don't know what to say. I've read most of pslams and proverbs and skimmed through more of the new testament but nothing is speaking to me anymore. I feel lost I feel numb kinda like anything can happen and I won't react at all. My verse for the past year has been Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what i planned for you says the lord i have plans to prosper you not to harm you i have plans to give you a future filled with hope. :confused2:
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • BlackAngelPlayahBlackAngelPlayah Posts: 1,419Registered Users
    (((Hugs)))

    I don't know what to say except it gets better. Not perfect. But better. My parents didn't divorce but my dad died when I was 8. It really started hurting when I was about 12 or so and I went through some rough times. I never told anyone how much I was hurting and that has been my way pretty much since. I feel no one can help me.

    I'm a lost cause, but you're still young. Talk to your mom or someone. I'm sure in this day and age there are online support groups for divorce children. I'd hate for you to bottle all that pain. Trust me, packing it in just leads to an explosion.

    ((((More hugs)))) 💗


    😜🍸Sent LIVE from my JPhone 4 using some CurlTalk app. 😜🍸

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2FAfroCurls.wordpress.com" class="Popup
    :afro:FroZen:afro:
  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    I don't know what to do anymore! I text my best guy friend everyday all day and he understands me but I don't understand myself right now. I go from being happy that he's gone to sad and depressed 5 minutes later. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to pray but right now I don't know what to say. I've read most of pslams and proverbs and skimmed through more of the new testament but nothing is speaking to me anymore. I feel lost I feel numb kinda like anything can happen and I won't react at all. My verse for the past year has been Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what i planned for you says the lord i have plans to prosper you not to harm you i have plans to give you a future filled with hope. :confused2:


    When I'm REALLY hurt and I try to pray, sometimes it makes me more upset. I almost get mad at God for not "fixing" it fast enough. So I've learned that sometimes I have to do something mindless, like watch a movie or eat ice cream with friends.

    I also like to read. When my life sucks, I get caught up in reading someone else's life. It really helps
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,572Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think I will ask to see a therapist but first I'll have to Tell my mom how I feel. I've been so depressed since it happened I sleep all day and night
    Please do! :) Since you have the history, you should seek professional advice. Things are rough enough for teens, you will need someone to talk to that can help you sort out your feelings and hurt. Take care and know that you will be in my Ts&Ps. My son is about your age. We're here for you! :love1:
    SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring" :D
    3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
    My Motto: Strand Test! some hair pics
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] -- gone, but never forgotten.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't know what to do anymore! I text my best guy friend everyday all day and he understands me but I don't understand myself right now. I go from being happy that he's gone to sad and depressed 5 minutes later. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to pray but right now I don't know what to say. I've read most of pslams and proverbs and skimmed through more of the new testament but nothing is speaking to me anymore. I feel lost I feel numb kinda like anything can happen and I won't react at all. My verse for the past year has been Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what i planned for you says the lord i have plans to prosper you not to harm you i have plans to give you a future filled with hope. :confused2:

    Don't forget that your father is still there...he still loves you and he will still be involved in your life.

    He's not gone. You still have a father. The same guy as before. He just lives somewhere else for now.

  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Both of your parents love you so much and I'm sure they think this is the best for your family and the best for you right now.

    Please vent over here whenever you need to!
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I know I still have a father that loves me but I miss him sooooo much. We used to watch sports on tv and swamp people and go for drives every Saturday and some Sunday's.


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    So I posted as my fb status "the hardest words to say are I'm okay" and my dad texted me saying everything is gonna be okay an I replied with I miss u daddy and we kept texting and I cried the whole time and he tried to call me but I hit decline and told him I was going to bed. It felt good to tell him I miss him but now I can't stop crying


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,761Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I m so sorry.
    Praying for you.

    ((hugs))
    3a/b, CG mostly.
    Mexico City.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    It's a really rough situation, but eventually it gets better. It really does.

    Please don't try to "be strong." That's just putting too much pressure on yourself.
  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    So I posted as my fb status "the hardest words to say are I'm okay" and my dad texted me saying everything is gonna be okay an I replied with I miss u daddy and we kept texting and I cried the whole time and he tried to call me but I hit decline and told him I was going to bed. It felt good to tell him I miss him but now I can't stop crying


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

    If you miss him, talk to him
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    scrills wrote: »
    If you miss him, talk to him

    I've tried talking to him but it's hard with my sister around whenever I'm with my dad she doesn't fully understand what's going on


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:
  • crazycurlychickcrazycurlychick Posts: 344Registered Users
    I took a step and asked to see a therapist...


    3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls
    :angel9:rockin the curls God gave me.

    Routine!
    Shampoo n/a
    Conditioner Vo5 Moisture Milks
    Leave in Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
    Shower, comb, apply leave in and mousse in wet hair then scrunch out the water and sometimes.
    Second day, Wake up mist with water and smooth Shea Moisture Curl enhancing smoothie over hair :wav:

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