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ignorance!

Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
i have been doing alot of research lately on youtube, here and other sites! i am really shocked at a couple of comments on youtube regarding 'white' mothers being ignorant for having mixed children and how to do their hair! one in particular was:

"I know this is off topic but when i saw the kid and heard your voice i was like im hoping this is not another white mom with a mixed kid and than you showed yourself and im like *sigh* what a relieve haha i know its dumb but i get tired of seeing that and when i see hair care vids on here it just proves that white moms are ignorant and need to do their research before they decide to lay down with a black and have a kid and know how to do their hair. cuz in real life they neglect their mixed kids"

when i read this i was like "wwooww... and us "white" mothers are the ignorant ones!!" i find it soooooo insulting when reading comments like this!
in my opinion a mother is a mother, black, white, purple, pink etc! being born black does not mean that you have all the knowledge on how to look after mixed kids hair, it is very different to "black" hair! everyone's hair in general is different, yes even white people all have different hair types!
i am a FABULOUS mother to my stunning biracial daughter. my husband does nothing for her hair and is clueless when it comes to hair care! i spend hours upon hours researching and talking about biracial hair care, yet i am an unfit mother because of the colour of my skin!!! to me this comment is VERY racist and i am shocked that in this day and age we have people talking like this!
i am actually fuming after reading many comments similar to this... how ignorant!!!

Comments

  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    I get your point but it's also pretty darn ignorant to say that "mixed" kids have hair that is very different from black hair. Your hair doesn't know what race you are. I have stereotypical 3c "mixed" people curls and I'm black. My kids are black/white and they have "white" hair (my oldest is either a type 1 or a type 2 and her little sister may be a 3b).

    Blame it on the cell phone...
  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    I get your point but it's also pretty darn ignorant to say that "mixed" kids have hair that is very different from black hair. Your hair doesn't know what race you are. I have stereotypical 3c "mixed" people curls and I'm black. My kids are black/white and they have "white" hair (my oldest is either a type 1 or a type 2 and her little sister may be a 3b).

    Blame it on the cell phone...

    subbrock, i think you may have misunderstood what i was saying when i said that. my point was that everyone has different hair no matter what their ethnicity is. Therfore a "white" mother isn't neglectful to her childre just because of the colour of her skin. As you said, you're children do not have the same hair as you or each other either, which only proves what i was trying to say (may not have explained it properly though).

    Please note too, i wasn't having a go at anyone other than the people that keep making these ignorant and hurtful comments (not on here but on other sites).
  • KilajoKilajo Posts: 786Registered Users
    Aren't you the same person that said your daughter had 4a hair? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else but I thought you said she had 4 type hair. A lot of black people have that type hair so I don't see how your mixed daughter's hair could be so different. Anyway, yes, the comment is offensive and that's why personally I try not to read youtube comments. It just makes me mad. But your comment was also offensive.

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  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    Kilajo wrote: »
    Aren't you the same person that said your daughter had 4a hair? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else but I thought you said she had 4 type hair. A lot of black people have that type hair so I don't see how your mixed daughter's hair could be so different. Anyway, yes, the comment is offensive and that's why personally I try not to read youtube comments. It just makes me mad. But your comment was also offensive.

    Sent from my PC36100 using CurlTalk App

    Kilajo, yes i 'think' my daughter has type 4a curls going on what i have read and seen on the net. Again, i think my post has been misunderstood/misconstrude (maybe i worded it wrongly i'm not sure). From some of the comments i have read it makes out that 'white' women don't know how to care for their 'mixed' race children's hair and this one comment blatently said that we neglect our 'mixed' children, which definately is untrue. What i was trying to say is that everyone (no matter what race/ethnicity) have different types of hair and need to learn how to best care for it. All mothers need to learn how to care for their children's hair correctly (curly/straight/wavy), not just 'white' women. i guess that was my point and it has somehow been taken completely the wrong way.
    Can you please explain to me what offended you in my post? i am a little confused athow this has ben misconstrude into something it was not meant to be.

    as i said before, it was not meant to offend. i was fuming after reading several comments and was trying to state that it is all a learning process for everyone!
  • Chicago KinksChicago Kinks Posts: 2,748Registered Users Curl Novice
    being born black does not mean that you have all the knowledge on how to look after mixed kids hair, it is very different to "black" hair!

    this...what do you mean???

    I wasnt aware "mixed kids" have hair that is very different from "black" kids. What's different? Porosity? Curl size? Strand thickness? Coarseness? Is it more oily or perhaps drier? Help me out

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  • jmartinezjmartinez Posts: 126Registered Users
    The comment was totally racist. Someone shouldnt say stuff like that. But i will let you know that people use the term mixed hair but its better to say just curly hair. My hair is 3c and i just call it curly. Alot of black people have the same type. And i get your point. For me, people assume being black means you know how to braid, curl and all of that. I just learned how to take care of my hair 2 years ago. Haircare is something learned, not something your born with so that lady on youtube was either racist or jealous. Dont pay attention to her.

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  • jmartinezjmartinez Posts: 126Registered Users
    And as people learn about hair care, we are also learning that several myths are untrue. Like hair doesnt have a race, it has a type. Like theres no such thing as white hair. Its type, 1,2,3 etc. But dont feel bad, people of all races still use that term. Its just a learning process and people are getting away from classifying everthing by race.

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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    being born black does not mean that you have all the knowledge on how to look after mixed kids hair, it is very different to "black" hair!

    this...what do you mean???

    I wasnt aware "mixed kids" have hair that is very different from "black" kids. What's different? Porosity? Curl size? Strand thickness? Coarseness? Is it more oily or perhaps drier? Help me out

    yes, this is the exact part i was responding to as well. i'm trying to figure out why you think we misunderstood what you're saying. this sentence explicitly says that mixed hair is very different from black hair.
  • KilajoKilajo Posts: 786Registered Users
    This.

    Sorry, I couldn't respond right away.

    eta Oops I meant to quote CK...

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  • KilajoKilajo Posts: 786Registered Users
    Also I will say assuming a white woman neglects her biracial children is an ignorant comment for the youtube commenters to make. There are people of every ethnicity that neglect their children. But we all know this. It sounds OP as if those commenters were intentionally trying to be offensive. I would suggest not reading youtube comments or any online comments for your own sanity!

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  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    in my opinion a mother is a mother, black, white, purple, pink etc! being born black does not mean that you have all the knowledge on how to look after mixed kids hair, it is very different to "black" hair! everyone's hair in general is different, yes even white people all have different hair types!

    i think if maybe you read the whole paragraph you will see what i was saying. i was saying that ALL hair is different. The things i have read have said that i am a bad and neglectful mother because of the colour of my skin.

    Chicago kinks, yes, all of those factors can be different in all hair types, hence why it is all a learning experience, not something your born with! but you would know that!

    anyway, i am not going to keep repeating myself. as i have said numerous times, it was not meant to be offensive (i may have worded it incorrectly perhaps or not been specific enough for you). Again i will say, my point was that ALL hair is different and the colour of a mothers skin does not give them instant hair knowledge at birth! it takes research, practice, experimentation and patience.
  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    Kilajo wrote: »
    Also I will say assuming a white woman neglects her biracial children is an ignorant comment for the youtube commenters to make. There are people of every ethnicity that neglect their children. But we all know this. It sounds OP as if those commenters were intentionally trying to be offensive. I would suggest not reading youtube comments or any online comments for your own sanity!

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    Kilajo, well said!

    i have definately learnt my lesson about reading comments. some comments are helpful, but not worth reading that type of c*ap!
    will be staying far away from the comments now!
  • jmartinezjmartinez Posts: 126Registered Users
    Oops i ment to.clarify that the youtube comment was racist not yours. I wasnt really clear. Sorry i write in spanish all the time. Lol

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  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users
    Every time I see posts with questions about "mixed" hair I roll my eyes and keep it moving. I think it is total foolishness to presume every biracial black/white person has exactly the same hair. What is "mixed hair" Lenny Kravitz or Corbin Bleau? Im not mixed and that little girl in the avatar could be my hair twin. My ex has two half asian daughters and their textures are nothing alike. A lot of people I wouldnt know were biracial if they didnt tell me. I have relatives who are 3s and not biracial. But companies are making a killing off people buying into this. I wouldnt get upset over YT comments. There is a white lady on YT with an adopted daughter who is black and she can cornrow like nobody's business.
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  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    adthomas wrote: »
    Every time I see posts with questions about "mixed" hair I roll my eyes and keep it moving. I think it is total foolishness to presume every biracial black/white person has exactly the same hair. What is "mixed hair" Lenny Kravitz or Corbin Bleau? Im not mixed and that little girl in the avatar could be my hair twin. My ex has two half asian daughters and their textures are nothing alike. A lot of people I wouldnt know were biracial if they didnt tell me. I have relatives who are 3s and not biracial. But companies are making a killing off people buying into this. I wouldnt get upset over YT comments. There is a white lady on YT with an adopted daughter who is black and she can cornrow like nobody's business.

    adthomas, i totally agree with you about 'mixed' hair (or all hair for that matter) being different. all of our friends are in interacial marriages and the kids are all mixed (african/australian). the range of hairtypes with these kids is very interesting!!
    i guess i say 'mixed' hair when talking about my daughter because she is 'mixed' (african/australian). i think i probably need to stop saying it in terms of hair type though, that's why i always TRY to say 4a hair in most posts relating to her hair!
    i have seen that lady on YT, amazing! i braide/plait/wash/moisturise/style my daughters hair really well (IMO)!! some of our friends who have migrated from africa have even asked me to do their hair for them! hahaha!!! their hairtype is very different to my daughters though, i guess it would be more 4c?? it's alot coarser, less defined curl.
  • KandyLandKurlsKandyLandKurls Posts: 118Registered Users
    Yes that comment was offensive on youtube, but remember race and hair is a touchy subject. So for you to bring the negative comment here, and then say "being born black does not mean that you have all the knowledge on how to look after mixed kids hair, it is very different to "black" hair!" Your just adding fuel to the negative comment.

    I know you wanted to vent, but in life you are going to find ignorant comments/people EVERYWHERE lol. That's why it is best to address it to them.
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  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users
    adthomas wrote: »
    Every time I see posts with questions about "mixed" hair I roll my eyes and keep it moving. I think it is total foolishness to presume every biracial black/white person has exactly the same hair. What is "mixed hair" Lenny Kravitz or Corbin Bleau? Im not mixed and that little girl in the avatar could be my hair twin. My ex has two half asian daughters and their textures are nothing alike. A lot of people I wouldnt know were biracial if they didnt tell me. I have relatives who are 3s and not biracial. But companies are making a killing off people buying into this. I wouldnt get upset over YT comments. There is a white lady on YT with an adopted daughter who is black and she can cornrow like nobody's business.

    adthomas, i totally agree with you about 'mixed' hair (or all hair for that matter) being different. all of our friends are in interacial marriages and the kids are all mixed (african/australian). the range of hairtypes with these kids is very interesting!!
    i guess i say 'mixed' hair when talking about my daughter because she is 'mixed' (african/australian). i think i probably need to stop saying it in terms of hair type though, that's why i always TRY to say 4a hair in most posts relating to her hair!
    i have seen that lady on YT, amazing! i braide/plait/wash/moisturise/style my daughters hair really well (IMO)!! some of our friends who have migrated from africa have even asked me to do their hair for them! hahaha!!! their hairtype is very different to my daughters though, i guess it would be more 4c?? it's alot coarser, less defined curl.

    Well I applaud you for taking the initiative to learn to do your daughter's natural hair instead of just reaching for a kiddie perm. I've had chemicals in my hair since I was six so until a few years ago I was clueless about natural hair. I have a black mom and that didn't mean jack for my hair. I think that's why kids are getting relaxers younger these days because a whole generation of women have grown up not knowing what their natural hair looks like so how are we going to deal with it on children?
    In my relaxed days a few times I had to comb my ex boyfriend's daughter's hair. I don't have even have younger sisters so when I hit all those tangles I was lost but her dad was great at doing her hair. I would insist he do it the night before I kept her and pray it would still look okay the next day.
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  • Goin'GreyGoin'Grey Posts: 301Registered Users
    Yes, intellegent people understand that it is not about skin color it's about hair properties and curl pattern.

    My mother had streight hair and my father had kinky/curly. Since I learned my hair care from my mother I walked around like a frizzy balm until I was 47 and educated myself about my hair.

    I have course hair, my daughter was using my products and now her hair is breaking... so I have to change her products to meet her fine hair needs.

    There will always be stupid people who say dumb things. Educate yourself and help your children to know their hair.
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  • MissKrisMissKris Posts: 288Registered Users
    I notice that people, regardless of race, have a tendency to be sensitive when race/ethnicity is discussed... I'm black and I have black, white, hispanic, and mixed people in my life. And now I will spit what's real...

    No matter your ethnicity, if you have a mixed child and their texture is different from your own, I find that these mothers sometimes get intimidated or overwhelmed. While in my very limited experience I've seen it in mostly non-black moms, it happens on all sides!

    A close friend of mine (I'll call her my sister) is a liscensed beautician specializing in the care of natural curls. She is black with a mixed daughter(dad is a Guamie). She saw another black mom with a mixed daughter who was using products that were just way too heavy for the child's grade of hair. "She still black," the lady said. That's ignorance if I ever saw it LoL...

    I commend you all for doing your research. Not all moms have the presence of mind to do so. Or they are just plain lazy...

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  • Mumma SiennaMumma Sienna Posts: 24Registered Users
    MissKris wrote: »
    I notice that people, regardless of race, have a tendency to be sensitive when race/ethnicity is discussed... I'm black and I have black, white, hispanic, and mixed people in my life. And now I will spit what's real...

    No matter your ethnicity, if you have a mixed child and their texture is different from your own, I find that these mothers sometimes get intimidated or overwhelmed. While in my very limited experience I've seen it in mostly non-black moms, it happens on all sides!

    A close friend of mine (I'll call her my sister) is a liscensed beautician specializing in the care of natural curls. She is black with a mixed daughter(dad is a Guamie). She saw another black mom with a mixed daughter who was using products that were just way too heavy for the child's grade of hair. "She still black," the lady said. That's ignorance if I ever saw it LoL...

    I commend you all for doing your research. Not all moms have the presence of mind to do so. Or they are just plain lazy...

    Sent from my SPH-M910 using CurlTalk App

    i guess we all see different types of parents depending on where we are from and who we associate with! in my opinion, knowledge about your childs hair is just like everything else about becoming a parent! parenthood does not come with a handbook, either does your childs hair, therefore we have to learn and experiment what works best. just like when you have a baby that isn't sleeping well or not eating well! and i guess THAT was my point! i enjoy experimenting with my daughters hair and she's starting to enjoy it too, now that she can see the benefits! In saying that, i WISH there was a handbook given to every parent at the birth of their child, wouldn't that make life easier, hahaha!

    today is wash day for us, so there is my afternoon accounted for. my daughters hair takes 3-5 hours on wash day, but atleast now she's getting older and prouder of her hair, we don't have the crying and winging anymore!
  • CurlyCutie1394CurlyCutie1394 Posts: 348Registered Users
    It's black women in my opinion that's dnt know what to do so they relax the girls at age 3 and 4. White mothers actually try to work with their children's hair I know this because my friends with white moms still have curls the ones with black moms have had relaxed hair most of their lives
  • MissKrisMissKris Posts: 288Registered Users
    Black moms think they know what to do........which is pretty much what their own moms did. Which is why a lot of us don't do our research. We like to hold onto that to which we are accustomed, not concerning ourselves with true hair health, but with quick-easy-manageable.....

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  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users
    It's black women in my opinion that's dnt know what to do so they relax the girls at age 3 and 4. White mothers actually try to work with their children's hair I know this because my friends with white moms still have curls the ones with black moms have had relaxed hair most of their lives

    I assume you're speaking from your experience but know not all black moms put relaxers in their young kids hair. I'm black and I don't have a single family member who put a relaxer in their child's hair before she was school age. I know in some black households, relaxers are forbidden even when the girl is in high school. What you may be seeing is pressed hair which is very common for that 3 and 4 year old age although I wouldn't do.

    When I used to go to salons I saw white moms at the salons getting relaxers for their kids. there is no all such and such people do such and such.

    Just For Me has a post on youtube with a white mom and her biracial daughter that is clearly a marketing ploy to get white moms to use the product.
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  • MissKrisMissKris Posts: 288Registered Users
    adthomas wrote: »
    Just For Me has a post on youtube with a white mom and her biracial daughter that is clearly a marketing ploy to get white moms to use the product.

    And the trap continues...... here the chains go again, counting on consumer ignorance to weasel their way into wallets. Oh but I'm the researchin' mack now!

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