CurlTalk

5 Things a Stylist Should NEVER Say to a Curly Client

MichelleMichelle AdministratorPosts: 725Moderators Curl Connoisseur
We're doing a story on some of the things a stylist should never say to a curly client. We'd love your feedback.

michelle
Michelle
co-founder
NaturallyCurly.com
«13

Comments

  • sheilacurlsheilacurl Posts: 1,240Registered Users
    Hi Michelle,

    How about after a stylist washes your hair after a cut or highlight, but they do it by placing all of the hair on the top of your head (as you cringe) and scrubbing the he** out of it, then when she attempts to run a brush through it, she asks, "Is your hair always this tangly?" :D


    2. "You'd look so much better if you'd let me straighten it!"

    3. "This is going to take forever…"

    4. "Have you ever considered cutting it off?"

    5. "Your hair must be a nightmare for you to deal with on a daily basis."
    Upper Michigan Dews
    3a ~ Fine ~ High Porosity ~ Normal Density

    NoPoo: JC Cleansing Cream
    Rinse Outs: SS:PRT, CJ Repair Me, CJ Argan
    Detangler: KCKT
    Leave-in: CJ Repair me
    Stylers: UFDCM, BRHG
    Refreshers: Batiste (dry shampoo) on the roots & UFDCM everywhere else

    iHerb Discount Code: SAF007

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Never suggest that curly client get their hair straightened

    Do not make negative comments about overly kinky/curly/coily the client hair is

    Don't mention how your arm is tired etc from dealing with the person's hair etc
  • diasporadiaspora Posts: 596Registered Users
    ^^ +1 to both of the above posts! Asking if you want it straightened, or assuming that you do, is my #1 too.

    Also, a stylist shouldn't lie. During the consultation, if you have one, if the stylist doesn't know how to style (or cut) curly hair, he or she should ask questions about how you do your hair if he/she is in any doubt. If the stylist really doesn't know what to do, it would be better if the stylist humbly suggested a colleague who is talented and knowledgeable about curly hair. They shouldn't take you as a paying customer then frizz out your hair, or worse, butcher it then frizz it out, on your dime. I have had this happen too many times, and though I'd probably be angry if a stylist admitted they couldn't do my hair (it happened once as a child), ultimately I'd prefer that to spending money on bad results.
    Formerly Urbancurl.
    Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
    CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
    Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
    Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
    Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
    Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
  • proudcurlygirlyproudcurlygirly Posts: 478Registered Users
    diaspora wrote: »
    ^^ +1 to both of the above posts! Asking if you want it straightened, or assuming that you do, is my #1 too.

    Also, a stylist shouldn't lie. During the consultation, if you have one, if the stylist doesn't know how to style (or cut) curly hair, he or she should ask questions about how you do your hair if he/she is in any doubt. If the stylist really doesn't know what to do, it would be better if the stylist humbly suggested a colleague who is talented and knowledgeable about curly hair. They shouldn't take you as a paying customer then frizz out your hair, or worse, butcher it then frizz it out, on your dime. I have had this happen too many times, and though I'd probably be angry if a stylist admitted they couldn't do my hair (it happened once as a child), ultimately I'd prefer that to spending money on bad results.


    :thumright: I totally agree. Annoying though it may be, if a stylist didn't know how to style my hair properly, I'd rather them say so and give me the chance to go elsewhere than take my money and make a pig's ear of it anyway!:laughing1:
    :icon_smile: UK Curly
    Curl type : Boticelli, 3a, loose curls
    Porosity : High
    Texture : Fine/medium (I think!)
    Co-wash/rinse out/leave in : L'oreal Full Restore 5, GFR&S, Schwarzkopf Bio Pomegranite
    Gels : Umberto Giannini Flirty Curls Scrunching Jelly
    Finish product : Boots Naked Style Frizz Fighter Serum or a pea-sized blob of condish smoothed over canopy
    CG since Feb 2011
  • dresdendolldresdendoll Posts: 435Registered Users
    "I could give you a straight cut if you want."
    "Wow, your hair really needs a clarifying shampoo!!!"
    "Here, I can show you how to straighten your hair properly."
    "You need to use sulfates if you want you hair clean."
    "You NEED silicones if you don't want your hair frizzy."
    "I'll thin it out for you."
    "I'll make it shorter so it's easier for you to deal with."

    hahaha, but my stylist is super nice and never says any of this stuff :D
    2c/2b with some 2a, coarse, dense, thick, low porosity
    Growing out a CL bob. Currently at APL.
    CG again as of 7/20/12 :laughing5:


    Cleanser: BRÖÖ Smoothing I.P.A. Shampoo
    RO: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner
    LI: Kinky-Curly Knot Today
    Styler: Beautiful Curls Gel for Wavy to Curly Hair

    :love4: all-natural products, light moisture, humectants, argan oil
    :pukeright:silk protein, synthetic ingredients, heavy oils/products, cowashing
  • diasporadiaspora Posts: 596Registered Users
    "I could give you a straight cut if you want."
    "Wow, your hair really needs a clarifying shampoo!!!"
    "Here, I can show you how to straighten your hair properly."
    "You need to use sulfates if you want you hair clean."
    "You NEED silicones if you don't want your hair frizzy."
    "I'll thin it out for you."
    "I'll make it shorter so it's easier for you to deal with."

    hahaha, but my stylist is super nice and never says any of this stuff :D

    Woa! I learned the hard way on that one years ago. Now if I even see a pair of thinning shears, I have an anxiety attack, lol.
    Formerly Urbancurl.
    Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
    CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
    Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
    Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
    Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
    Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
  • nana_banananana_banana Posts: 735Registered Users
    Another one, "You should relax it!"
    Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



    :afro:
  • anonymous_22139anonymous_22139 Posts: 659Registered Users
    "Your hair is so dry and damaged."

    My virgin hair has not seen sulphate shampoo for three years - no heat, no brushing, only saturated wide-toothed combing.

    IT IS NOT DAMAGED, it is curly....that's all.
  • hippiechikhippiechik Posts: 40Registered Users
    I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.
  • diasporadiaspora Posts: 596Registered Users
    hippiechik wrote: »
    I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.

    Wow! I am blown away just reading that 2nd hand. I can only imagine what it was like actually hearing it spoken to you by someone you'd trusted your hair to several times. And I am totally with you on being apprehensive even about getting hair services done by a Deva stylist. You get burned enough times, well, it effects you.
    Formerly Urbancurl.
    Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
    CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
    Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
    Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
    Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
    Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
  • lag28walag28wa Posts: 34Registered Users
    "You need a Keratin Treatment to take away the frizz"
    "I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
    "No wonder you never try to straighten your hair, it's a mess!" No, it's curly, it doesn't want to be straight!
    Lindsay, a curly Mommy with a curly little man

    Fine texture, fine density, normal to high porosity(?)

    Modified CG since April 2012

    Wash: DevaCurl Low Poo or SM Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Shine Shampoo
    COwash/RO: CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing, CJ Daily Fix Cleansing Condish, Shea Moisture Restorative
    LI: KCKT
    Style: KCCC, CJ Pattern Pusha, DevaCare Arc AnGEL, Loreal EverStyle Styling Spray
  • curlangel0690curlangel0690 Posts: 172Registered Users
    "Don't worry. I'll fix this rat's nest so it looks good again."
    "Your hair would be pretty if it didn't have so much curl."
    "Don't you want me to blow it out? I can make you look beautiful."
    And my fave, "Straight is so in. Don't you want to fit in and look like everyone else?"
    No, I don't want to look like everyone else, I want to look like me. So I will take my curly rat's nest and go be beautiful with the rest of the curly girls. Seriously if I here the words rat's nest when talking about my hair one more time........thank God I found a stylist who uses none of the above statements and cringes when anyone mentions straightening curly hair.
    "I'm not high maintenance, my hair is."
    3c mostly fine, high to normal porosity, medium density, normal elasticity

    Co-Wash- VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea, TreSemme Naturals
    LowPoo- GTTT
    RO- GVP Conditioning Balm
    LI- Giovanni Direct Leave In, GVP Conditioning Balm,
    Stylers- KMFUM, Eco Styler Krystal, AOMMM, UFDCM,
    Oils- Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Coconut
    PT- IAGirl's Gelatin PT
    DC- AS I Am Hydrating Mask
  • OnduleeOndulee Posts: 1,264Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    One phrase that was painful to me: "I cut hair much better with a razor than with scissors, you don't need to be so careful"....what a mistake- it took several years to grow out the wreckage

    2. "I'd love to give you some bangs"...not realizing that my bangs would shrink into 1/4 inch springs and not be bangs at all. I have long 8-10 inch layers(stretched out) at the front and my 'bangs' are 2- 3 inch ringlets in their natural state

    3."Wow, your hair is really thin on top! I could see your scalp when you came in"...never say this to anyone with either curly or straight hair. It makes people want to use the above-mentioned razor on themselves....
    shoulder length inverted bob; fine; 3A-3B; med-thick density; normal porosity; normal elasticity- my hair loves keratin, ACV, silk protein ,Curlkeeper and AG:Recoil ; seems to hate moisturizing products and oils except mineral oil; CG- Jan/'09-mod CG Sept/'09;CG again Jan/'10/mod CG from Mar'10

    receive $10 off 1st order of $40 & up, or $5 off on smaller orders, when using iHERB code: GIK909
  • MarciMarci Posts: 225Registered Users
    lag28wa wrote: »
    "I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
    Ugh I had a stylist say that to me just the other day. Then she tried to run her fingers through my dry hair. I ran away with a quickness and I will never be going back.
    2C-3A MBL layered
    Medium/fine texture, high density, normal porosity and elasticity. Dry climate.


    Cleanse: SM MR, YTC
    Hydrate: Joico Kpak,DevaCurl OC
    Style: AG reCoil, LALSG




  • BlackAngelPlayahBlackAngelPlayah Posts: 1,419Registered Users
    Ondulee wrote: »
    One phrase that was painful to me: "I cut hair much better with a razor than with scissors, you don't need to be so careful"....what a mistake- it took several years to grow out the wreckage

    2. "I'd love to give you some bangs"...not realizing that my bangs would shrink into 1/4 inch springs and not be bangs at all. I have long 8-10 inch layers(stretched out) at the front and my 'bangs' are 2- 3 inch ringlets in their natural state

    3."Wow, your hair is really thin on top! I could see your scalp when you came in"...never say this to anyone with either curly or straight hair. It makes people want to use the above-mentioned razor on themselves....

    Or on the STYLIST!! That is so sh*tty to say to someone.


    😜🍸Sent LIVE from my JPhone 4 using some CurlTalk app. 😜🍸

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2FAfroCurls.wordpress.com" class="Popup
    :afro:FroZen:afro:
  • JessiebananaJessiebanana Posts: 940Banned Users
    hippiechik wrote: »
    I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.

    "If you cut your hair short you're going to have triangle hair!"

    Uh...isn't that what I'm paying you to not do? Aren't you supposed to have a strategy built into this haircut? I could just chop my own hair off straight across :neutral:.

    Oh and I'd also like to second the no lying policy. If you have no experience with curly hair, or black curly hair, just say it! Because when you wet my hair and exclaim in wonderment, "It's so soft!" You just freaking gave yourself away and I'm faking illness to get of that chair.

    *Sigh* suffice to say I do not go to hair stylists anymore.
    3C/Fine to Medium/Low Porosity/High Density

    :love5:MoistureMoistureMoisture:love5:

    Low Poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo
    RO/DC: DB Pumpkin Seed Curl Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: Queen Helene Sculpturing Gel & Glaze

    No Salts, No Waxes, No Butters, No Heavy Oils
    No ACV, No Saponified Oils, Protein Sensitive
  • raindearraindear Posts: 356Registered Users
    Something a stylist shouldn't do rather than something a stylist shouldn't say:

    A Stylist should not do anything to the customer while the customer sits there helplessly saying, "I don't want you to do that to my hair."

    If the stylist has a good reason (or thinks they do) for doing something the customer is asking them not to do, they should stop and discuss it with the customer, and the customer should have the right to say "no". I have had more than 1 stylist start in on me with thinning shears, or thinning procedures, ignoring my protests.
    Be Happy!

    Type:2b/3ab?
    Texture:Medium/fine
    Porosity:Normal
    Elasticity:Normal

    Experimenting with too many products to name here. All this great info keeps my head spinning. :happy6:
  • lucyprimroselucyprimrose Posts: 166Registered Users
    hippiechik wrote: »
    I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.

    Wow, that is so ignorant! Curls have so many options and styles to go short. Someone who knows that little about hairdressing shouldn't be cutting anyone's hair, straight or curly!

    I really hope your next cut is a good experience, don't give up, you will find someone good. Maybe be quite conservative the first time in what you ask for and if it goes well you can do more next time if you want.

    Once a hairdresser suggested a cut to me and I asked how she thought my hair would react, what would it look like with that - ' we can't know what it would do because your hair is crazy'. I took that as a compliment but I also thought, well, you should be able to make a good guess if you are any good, no hair is completely unpredictable. What she really meant was, I don't know what it would do because I don't know/haven't been taught any guidelines about your hair type.

    Also, and again took this as a compliment, once (misguidedly) was getting my hair blow dried straight and after about 2 hours (yep) the guy was beside himself and said he might have to phone the manager to come in. Felt a bit sorry for him because others have blow dried my hair dead straight in 20 mins.
    UK based wavy :hello2:

    Mostly waves, but curls and straight bits too!
    Fine to medium, high porosity, medium density, very low elasticity
    Highlights damage (growing it out), seems to like protein and need lots of moisture.

    Cleanse - CJDF, trying out low poos ; Co wash- Uk chemist brands, Urtekram Rose or Aloe, Hairveda Amala Cream Rinse; RO - varies, Tigi Moisture Maniac, Desert Essence Coconut ; Leave in - Keracare natural textures; Sealant - argan oil
    Trying out new things, still looking.
  • RideTheLightningRideTheLightning Posts: 96Registered Users
    Marci wrote: »
    lag28wa wrote: »
    "I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
    Ugh I had a stylist say that to me just the other day. Then she tried to run her fingers through my dry hair. I ran away with a quickness and I will never be going back.

    Oh my goodness, i've had so many stylists try to run their fingers through my dry hair and rip me half bald then say something to the effect of "Wow, you don't brush your hair do you?" or "you should brush your hair. It's so bad not to."

    I've also had many stylists insist that they needed to straighten my hair before they could cut it and one even
    made little passive aggressive comments throughout our whole session "*heavy sigh* this would be so much easier if you'd just let me straighten it." "it probably won't look very good since i didn't straighten it first."
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't think a stylist should say "You don't need all this length". Excuse me?
  • monipearlmonipearl Posts: 95Registered Users
    the last stylist i went to for a CUT asked me what i wanted her to do to my hair. "do you want me to make it more manageable?"

    uh, no. i want you to just cut my hair. i manage it just fine, thank you.

    and she insisted on blowing it out first. took her three hours. she gave me a discount because i did warn her. so there's that.
    3c-4b. probably.
    medium/coarse texture.
    (extremely)high density.
    low porosity, normal elasticity.
    co-wash: suave naturals daily clarifying condish with drops of rosemary oil.
    detangling conditioner: tresemme naturals.
    deep conditioner: curly kinks curlycue renew, b.a.s.k. cacao bark, honey/evoo.
  • 2much2handle~2much2handle~ Posts: 5Registered Users
    "Did you brush your hair today?"
    Ugh they say that to me every time!
  • lani13lani13 Posts: 45Registered Users
    i was toldby a fomer hair stylist who only did my hair once a put a flat iron or the knots and tangles ( literally, she didn't take the time to tell me my hair had knotted even though i warned her it would. she put a gosh darn flat iron on knots she created) that i needed to comb out my rats nest before i come in again. needless to say she will never see me again...evil witch
    Started as a flicker, meant to be a flame
    Skin has gotten thicker, but it burns the same
  • lani13lani13 Posts: 45Registered Users
    "Did you brush your hair today?"
    Ugh they say that to me every time!

    don't you just want to smack em' with a brush?
    Started as a flicker, meant to be a flame
    Skin has gotten thicker, but it burns the same
  • michelleNmichelleN Posts: 6Registered Users
    Happily following one curly hair tip to find a suitable stylist, I went into one salon and asked the lady there if the salon had anyone who specialized in cutting curly hair. She gave me a look as if she was naturally supposed to be insulted (I don't find the question insulting at all,) she gave me a very rude look, and said "We all cut all types of hair." So the answer seems, eh, okay fine so what if you do, but the way she said it and the look she gave me screamed cheap-o hair salon with no real experience. I politely said I may be back later and ran.
    3a/2c, coarse, high density, low-semi medium porosity.

    Shampoo free since May 2012.
    Baking soda + ACV regime

    Growing out hair from 1-inch length since January 2012!
    Goal: BSL-MBL
  • MarciMarci Posts: 225Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    I don't think a stylist should say "You don't need all this length". Excuse me?
    Ugh, I hate this line. I happen to like my hair long. Reminds me of the stylists in makeover shows, they always chop off long hair and straighten curlies. Haters!! lol
    2C-3A MBL layered
    Medium/fine texture, high density, normal porosity and elasticity. Dry climate.


    Cleanse: SM MR, YTC
    Hydrate: Joico Kpak,DevaCurl OC
    Style: AG reCoil, LALSG




  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users
    That they all cut curly hair, and don't realise that it has unique requirements screams that they have no clue. The correct answer to that question is, "Oh, you want Stan (or whomever they have who's a genius with curls)!"
    Peace,
    Morgan

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • chimamachimama Posts: 41Registered Users
    Can I thin your hair out for you?, or i can cut a lot of this curl out for you
    3B (Botticelli), coarse, low porosity
    DevaCurl No-Poo
    DevaCurl One-Condition
    DevaCurl Arc-Angel


    :wav:
  • JessiebananaJessiebanana Posts: 940Banned Users
    Marci wrote: »
    Myrna wrote: »
    I don't think a stylist should say "You don't need all this length". Excuse me?
    Ugh, I hate this line. I happen to like my hair long. Reminds me of the stylists in makeover shows, they always chop off long hair and straighten curlies. Haters!! lol


    Well in all fairness the ladies on those shows rarely have attractive long hair like yours. It's usually stringy or damaged or just doesn't do anything for their face. Not everyone looks good with long hair. Long hair takes time and these are generally women who don't take time on their appearance. As far as vanity is concerned, they need hair that can match their desire not to put in any effort.
    3C/Fine to Medium/Low Porosity/High Density

    :love5:MoistureMoistureMoisture:love5:

    Low Poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo
    RO/DC: DB Pumpkin Seed Curl Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: Queen Helene Sculpturing Gel & Glaze

    No Salts, No Waxes, No Butters, No Heavy Oils
    No ACV, No Saponified Oils, Protein Sensitive
  • MarciMarci Posts: 225Registered Users
    Well in all fairness the ladies on those shows rarely have attractive long hair like yours. It's usually stringy or damaged or just doesn't do anything for their face. Not everyone looks good with long hair. Long hair takes time and these are generally women who don't take time on their appearance. As far as vanity is concerned, they need hair that can match their desire not to put in any effort.

    Jessiebanana, You'd be surprised how many stylists have actually told me my hair needs to go. Sometimes textured hair may appear stringy or damaged beyond repair when all it needs is a little TLC. My hair wasn't so nice when I first found this site 4 months ago. I had a huge improvement, I just didn't know better. Sometimes people just need a chance :)
    2C-3A MBL layered
    Medium/fine texture, high density, normal porosity and elasticity. Dry climate.


    Cleanse: SM MR, YTC
    Hydrate: Joico Kpak,DevaCurl OC
    Style: AG reCoil, LALSG




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