CurlTalk

Is this appropriate? *Adult*

anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
I recently just went to a counselor for some depression that I've been having, and in my last (second) session, the counselor (a woman) asked me questions about my personal life as a way to get to know me. She asked about my relationship with my husband, sex, etc (I don't want to get too detailed - just very personal stuff that I felt was not really necessary/appropriate). Right after she asked me the questions, she asked me if I minded. And I said no, I didn't mind. But, the next day I thought about it, and I felt that her questions were really not appropriate for my problem.

What do you think? I really don't feel like going back to her now. What would you do?
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Comments

  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    Unless you feel very uncomfortable, I would give her one more shot. But if she makes you uncomfortable again, beyond the usual awkwardness of therapy, I'd bail out.

    HTH, and good luck.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If you don't tell us what she asked/said, we can't give our opinions on whether or not it was inappropriate.

    Why did you tell her you didn't mind? Bc you didn't at the time? Or bc you we too shy to speak up?

  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    She immediately asked me if I masterbate and/or have orgasms. At the time, I was a little surprised, and it didn't bother me. I thought it was a bit odd, though. But, later on I was thinking to myself, and I thought - wtf....I'm going to her for depression issues not related to my marriage or anything like that.

    Idk - it just seems strange to me. I guess I don't know her well enough yet....
    Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
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  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    Hmmm...............depending on your insurance coverage, I would only give her one more chance. If you don't feel good with her on a second visit, again, I think you should bail.

    Btw, I don't recall ever having been asked that during any counseling I've received.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    Hmmm...
    I would go one more time if only to find out why she asked those questions. Maybe you said something in passing that prompted her questions. I don't know her credentials (is she an MFT?), but the questions may have had something to do with your depression, but she failed to actually make that connection for you. ??
    3c/4a
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    OMG, when I was 19, my bf was killed in a car accident and I saw a counselor at my university for grief. And she asked me if I masturbated! I said no, and she like demanded to know why not, etc.

    WTF is up w/ these people????

  • juanabjuanab Posts: 4,037Registered Users
    There is a school of thought in the mental health community, that masturbation does help with depression. This article may answer some of your questions.

    Health benefits of female masturbation

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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    I think if you don't want to see her anymore, then by all means find someone else. But in her defense one of the common signs/symptoms/side effects of depression is a loss of interest in sex and/or no longer enjoying sex.

    Blame it on the cell phone...
  • luvscurlzluvscurlz Posts: 109Registered Users
    anniemae wrote: »
    I recently just went to a counselor for some depression that I've been having, and in my last (second) session, the counselor (a woman) asked me questions about my personal life as a way to get to know me. She asked about my relationship with my husband, sex, etc (I don't want to get too detailed - just very personal stuff that I felt was not really necessary/appropriate). Right after she asked me the questions, she asked me if I minded. And I said no, I didn't mind. But, the next day I thought about it, and I felt that her questions were really not appropriate for my problem.

    What do you think? I really don't feel like going back to her now. What would you do?


    It doesn't seem like a counselor could really help you without getting to know you very personally. Maybe she might be better then the average counselor. If I wondered about anything she asked, I personally would have just asked her why she's asking these questions and how are they related to what I'm here for...she might have a valid answer.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    This counselor is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

    I understand that they need to know you, but it still seems odd to me. I just met the woman - it was the beginning of our 2nd visit.

    I definitely didn't say anything that prompted her questions.

    Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of it than need be, but I'm not sure if I want to go back to her.

    Hmmmmm....:dontknow:
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  • roseannadanaroseannadana Posts: 5,632Registered Users
    If you don't trust her you probably won't make much progress. But if you decide to see her again, you should tell her that her questions made you uncomfortable and maybe she can explain why she asked and put your mind at ease.

    Whatever you decide, I hope you don't give up!

    I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    Thank you all for your thoughts. :)
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  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users
    Someone once told me her shrink asked her if she performed oral sex, which really annoyed her. Her issue was anxiety.

    I have no idea how those two are related, but then I'm very clueless about how therapy works.
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    Also, ask yourself if you're looking for a reason not to go back to her. Sometimes therapy gets scary and when we realize that we're going to have to actually get to the bottom of our feelings, etc., we sometimes find reasons not to go back, get mad at our therapist, etc.

    Just throwing it out there.
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  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    I'm not looking for a reason because if I stop going to her, I know of someone else I would go to. I definitely don't want to quit, but that is a good question.

    I'm not afraid, just weirded out a little.
    Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
    2b-c/F/ii
    :dog:
  • KookyCurlKookyCurl Posts: 1,980Registered Users
    I would maybe give her a call and voice your concerns and just ask. Tell her upon reflection you were uncomfortable with her questions and was wondering why she asked them. It could be just to see how open you were. Like depending on your reaction to them would shape her approach to your therapy. Telling you why she was asking the questions up front might color your reactions.

    To me, if I ask someone a personal question like that and they answer me honestly then I know they are pretty open and I'm not going to have to work too much. If they are like "I'm uncomfortable talking about that" I know my boundaries to work in or on.

    I am not a therapist at all so these are just my guesses.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    I've been seein my LCSW off and on for 16 years, she's never once asked me about my sex life or if I masturbate.
    :rambo:
  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    M2LR wrote: »
    I've been seein my LCSW off and on for 16 years, she's never once asked me about my sex life or if I masturbate.

    Thanks. Years ago I saw a different LCSW for a short while, and she never asked me that stuff either.

    Believe me, it was strange. At the time she asked me, I was deep in the moment of the session, and I guess I was kind of emotional, so I didn't question her. But, it was later when I was removed from it and thinking more clearly that I really started to question it in my mind.
    Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
    2b-c/F/ii
    :dog:
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    Mine asked me.
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Posts: 267Registered Users
    juanab wrote: »
    There is a school of thought in the mental health community, that masturbation does help with depression. This article may answer some of your questions.

    Health benefits of female masturbation


    Well, sorry if this is TMI...but I've suffered with severe depression for years and playing with myself does nothing to help that.

    Maybe it works for some people, though. :scratch:
  • JewelCurlsJewelCurls Posts: 191Registered Users
    When I was looking for a counselor, the best advice I was given was that there really has to be chemistry (not like creepy chemistry, you just have to click), and that if you are not feeling it, don't feel guilty for switching. They know it, you know it. The most important thing is to do what is good for you (that's why you are seeing someone in the first place, right?) If she bugs you, find someone else.
    You can't stop my happiness 'cuz I like the way I am! -Hairspray
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  • juanabjuanab Posts: 4,037Registered Users
    JewelCurls wrote: »
    When I was looking for a counselor, the best advice I was given was that there really has to be chemistry (not like creepy chemistry, you just have to click), and that if you are not feeling it, don't feel guilty for switching. They know it, you know it. The most important thing is to do what is good for you (that's why you are seeing someone in the first place, right?) If she bugs you, find someone else.

    Agreed. I have to feel a comfort level in order to speak freely.

    texture - medium/fine, porosity - low/normal, elasticity - normal
    co-wash - NaturelleGrow Coconut Water or Marshmallow Root, Slippery Elm Bark & Blue Malva Cleansing Conditioners
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    DC - NG Mango & Coconut H2O or Chamomile/Brdck Root
    Gel - SM souffle (winter), KCCC (summer) or CR Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel (year round)
    Sealers - Virgin Coconut Oil, Avocado butter, Aloe butter
    Ayurvedic treatments - Jamila Henna, Sukesh, Aloe Vera Powder, Hibiscus Powder
    .


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