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Rude or not?

SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
My friend Rachel and I both got texts from Kendra at 7:00 a.m. In Rachel's case, she didn't have to wake up until 8:00 for work. In my case, I work until 1:00 a.m. and will never be up that early.

We both think it's incredibly rude and we've both mentioned to Kendra that she please wait until at least 8:30 before texting. In fact, KENDRA was complaint recently that someone called her at 7:00 in the morning when she was in vacation.

Rachel's coworker thinks it's not rude and that we could easily solve the problem by putting the phone on silent. But both Rachel and I have infirm parents and we keep our phones near us at night in case there's an emergency.

So do you think it's rude? I have my own internal rule that I don't text anyone before 9:00 a.m. or after 10:00 p.m. unless I know their schedule.

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Comments

  • theliothelio Posts: 5,374Registered Users
    if you have told someone not to text you that early and they continue to do so, its rude.

    everyone knows i get at at 5 am for work. i have told people not to call or text pass 10. people still do so, and i dont answer and wont call back. i erase the text and pretend it never happened.
  • KilajoKilajo Posts: 786Registered Users
    Personally I don't see it as rude. I see texts the same as emails. They both come to my phone in text form. They both have a sound when they come in. I've sent and received emails late at night/early in the morn and I just don't see texts as any different. I don't check them though until I get up. I know if it's an emergency the person would call. Now, phone calls I see differently. I would think it rude to call someone that early unless it's an emergency.

    eta Yea since you told her not to then it's rude. But I was speaking for me...at least how I see it...


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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Yea I do, but I can see why other people may not understand. The other day someone texted (a group text about a movie and dinner plans) at 4:00 am. My phone was on vibrate and it woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep until 6 or so and had to be up at 8:30. She did it again this past weekend but I happened to be already up.

    And no I don't want to put my phone on silent in case there is an emergency. I have old parents as well and family/friends that may need to get in touch with me.

    It's not the same as emails. You can turn email notifications off but not text.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,772Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Kilajo wrote: »
    Personally I don't see it as rude. I see texts the same as emails. They both come to my phone in text form. They both have a sound when they come in. I've sent and received emails late at night/early in the morn and I just don't see texts as any different. I don't check them though until I get up. I know if it's an emergency the person would call. Now, phone calls I see differently. I would think it rude to call someone that early unless it's an emergency.

    eta Yea since you told her not to then it's rude. But I was speaking for me...at least how I see it...


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    I agree with this. I set texts to silent when I go to bed, if there is an emergency my phone will still ring.

    If she had called I would have thought that was rude.
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  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    The only way to set texts as silent on my phone as far as I can tell us to turn my ringer off.

    I don't see it as the same as email because my email doesn't chime when I receive one.

    Having said that, I've asked her not to do it.


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  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,238Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    If someone has been asked not to call/text before a certain time and they continue to do so, it is rude.

    I've had a rule for many years - do not call (or text) before 10am or after 10pm unless it is an emergency. My family and friends know the wrath if they forget that rule. : )
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
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  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    FYI - you should be able to change your ringer for each type of notification. (calls, call w/o call ID, email, texts, etc.)
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think 7 am is ok to call or text (unless smeone has specifically asked me not to).

    I can set set my phone ringer and text notifications to different sounds and different volumes....and I do.

  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    scrills wrote: »
    FYI - you should be able to change your ringer for each type of notification. (calls, call w/o call ID, email, texts, etc.)

    I definitely have. (chime for texts, disco song for people i know, plain ring for strangers). But if a chime/ring/buzz goes off no matter what it's going to wake me up.


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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Really? I think 7am is way too early unless you know the person's schedule. I've had guys text me good morning and such at 7am, including my ex when I first met. I thought it was annoying as hell. Not rude but come on, not everyone is on your schedule!
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    It's rude because you've asked her not to text that early. I assume you've said that in no uncertain terms so there's no way she could plead ignorance.

    That said, I keep all sounds but the phone and the alarm silent at all times but even if I didn't I'd sleep through those sounds - I sleep through all the random noises my husband's phone makes.
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  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.
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  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    I think it's rude because you've asked her not to. That's inconsiderate. But I don't think there's anything inherently rude about texting someone at 7am. They can get the text later, and respond whenever the feel like it--it's not like a phone call where you need to pick up to know what's going on, and to deal with it right then.

    And has already been said, it's pretty easy to turn off/change the text sound and not alter the phone call sound if it's bothersome.
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  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.

    I agree with this also. Texts at whatever hours aren't inherently rude. Text sounds can be independently set, and most people use the actual phone feature for emergencies. But, it's rude because you asked for certain text times.


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  • ttlollattlolla Posts: 948Registered Users
    I don't think it is rude , I have a friend who would text at past 6 in the morning . I have complained a few times but It's her MO
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.

    I agree with this also. Texts at whatever hours aren't inherently rude. Text sounds can be independently set, and most people use the actual phone feature for emergencies. But, it's rude because you asked for certain text times.


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    I agree with this. Theres nothing inherently rude about texting at any hour of the day. If you don't want to be woken up turn your phone to silent. I have friends in australia and most of their messages to me come i at 2am. Once i'm in bed I turn my phone to silent. With most smartphones you can Set each person with a personal tone including silent.

    I wouldn't say she's being rude, more flaky or inconsiderate because you've asked her not to.


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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    I don't think texting at any hour is inherently rude but you have asked her not to and she should respect that.
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  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    Yeah, it's rude because you asked her not to.

    I don't care if people call me at weird times because I rarely answer my phone and I don't call back unless they leave a voice message. And I keep my phone on vibrate or silent most of the time. I also don't feel obligated to answer texts or emails.

    As far as my own personal rule, I don't call before 10am on the weekends. I don't call before 8am or after 9pm during the week. Unless of course I know someone has a schedule that deviates from the normal 9 to 5. Texting? If it's a friend, I text at any time because I know they don't care (and we don't get our feelings hurt if textee is grumpy and bites the texter's head off). I'd stick to my call rules if it's my boss or something.
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Po wrote: »
    Yeah, it's rude because you asked her not to.

    I don't care if people call me at weird times because I rarely answer my phone and I don't call back unless they leave a voice message. And I keep my phone on vibrate or silent most of the time. I also don't feel obligated to answer texts or emails.

    As far as my own personal rule, I don't call before 10am on the weekends. I don't call before 8am or after 9pm during the week. Unless of course I know someone has a schedule that deviates from the normal 9 to 5. Texting? If it's a friend, I text at any time because I know they don't care (and we don't get our feelings hurt if textee is grumpy and bites the texter's head off). I'd stick to my call rules if it's my boss or something.

    This is very similar to my POV, except my weekday window is 7 am - 10 pm and not before 9 am on wknds.

  • WurlyLoxWurlyLox Posts: 4,858Registered Users
    I don't call or text anyone after 9 p.m or before 9 a.m. on week nights unless it's someone I know will be up or it's extremely important. On the weekend I try not to call until 10 a.m. or later.

    Yes, you can set most devices to silent, but if I forget to do it and a text comes in at 4 a.m. and wakes me, I'm no less pissed - I sleep very lightly, and everyone who knows me knows I have sleep issues, so if they have any consideration, they should know better, LOL!
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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    I agree with the general consensus that it's rude because you asked her not to. To me it's disrespectful to blatantly ignore someone's specific request like that, and a pet peeve of mine from dealing with passive aggressive people.

    In general, I don't think it's rude to text any time. But I often put down and ignore my phone for hours even while awake.

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  • parislarueparislarue Posts: 235Registered Users
    For me, texting is akin to email. At the same time, my phone doesn't do anything spectacular when i get a text. It did use to chime B4 i changed the settings. So, it would never be considered rude to send a text at any hour. However, if you were forewarned not to then that certainly would be rude.
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  • SigiSigi Posts: 2,379Registered Users
    My phone doesn't make any sounds when I get an email, and the only time I mute my phone is at the movies. This one friend used to text me early in the morning (7ish) just before my alarm would go off, drove me nuts! I need those extra few minutes, hahaha.
  • NorahBuggNorahBugg Posts: 134Registered Users
    Yeah, it would bother me, but most people aren't intentionally rude. I don't see it as a big deal. She probably has friends she calls at that hour and can't keep all of your work schedules straight. Just tell her again not to do it and I'm sure it won't happen again.

    Life doesn't revolve around me - there's always going to be calls coming in at times that are inconvenient for me. I keep my cell phone off on hours I don't want to be called. Only a few people have my home phone, and will call that if there's an emergency.
  • amandamarieamandamarie Posts: 240Registered Users
    I agree that when you ask someone to respect something you've asked of them and they don't, it's rude.

    However, having established that it's rude FOR SURE in this case since you requested her to change her behavior and she didn't, it's also a little bit of an age thing I think? Is there any chance she's younger than you? I know I and my peers don't see anything wrong with middle-of-the-night texts or when-I-know-you'll-be-asleep texts (I try not to but sometimes I have to say whatever it is RIGHT THEN :angel5:) but someone, say, five, ten years older (not to mention twenty or thirty) might not see it that way.
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  • midgimidgi Posts: 2,409Registered Users
    ITA, it's rude because you asked her not to.

    But, I don't know what kind of phones you guys have. Mine lets me turn off text and email chimes/notifications.
    I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
  • KilajoKilajo Posts: 786Registered Users
    midgi wrote: »
    ITA, it's rude because you asked her not to.

    But, I don't know what kind of phones you guys have. Mine lets me turn off text and email chimes/notifications.

    Mine does too. I have an evo.

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  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,238Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    I can turn off texting or make it silent. But why should I have to turn it off every night and on every day?
    Lucky for me, my family and friends (including the much younger ones) save their calls and texts for between 10am and 10pm (unless it's something important). And I do the same for them, unless they request something else.
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    It is rude in this case.

    My rules are no calling before 7am (I am the last to get up and like a few minutes of peace) and no calling after 9pm. That's usually bath, snack, and settling in for the night. I stay up later than my husband and son but I am quiet as to not wake them up. I go to bed hours after everyone else.
  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    Definitely rude because you asked her not to text you so early.

    I have had two friends get snippy with me for texting them too late at night when they were sleeping and had their phones near them. Honestly, that made me roll my eyes...how was I supposed to know?

    I have a 10 AM-10 PM for some people (no calling before 10 AM or after 10 PM), but since so many of my friends don't work 9-5 jobs (actors/artists that work odd jobs), they don't fit in that rule.
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