NEWBIE desperate for help.

simplylacexosimplylacexo Registered Users Posts: 3
Hi everyone. So I have tried to do this on my own a couple of times and every time I do I think I have it all figured out. Well... I don't. I am currently transitioning from a relaxer to my natural hair. I cannot find a picture but will post one ASAP. Let me tell you some history:

My profile doesn't say my race (idk why but I can't change it) but I am mixed. As a little girl my dad always braided my hair because it was easy for him to manage throughout the weeks. As I got older, I wanted a relaxer no sooner than after my sister got one. I thought it looked so gorgeous how smooth and straight it was (oh, if I only knew the damage). I had continued relaxing my hair from age 8 (guessing) until about 4 years ago. I had stopped relaxing my hair to grow it out. I figured if it's not growing with a relaxer, it will grow without one!

This went on for three years. However, I never knew my actual curl pattern and my hair never went anywhere past my shoulders. I straightened my hair every Sunday & Wednesday right after the shower. I was mortified of anyone seeing my curly hair while it was short. I had always told myself that if it was long, it would be a different story. Just recently I told myself that since I straightened my hair all the time I might as well relax it, right? Wrong. I don't know what I was thinking. Instantly my hair started breaking off, I had to get it cut and my hair has thinned since then. I was incredibly mad because my hair looked EXACTLY the same straight whether it was relaxed or not. So what was the point?

I am also obsessed with hair cuts. My hair has been to my shoulders for 6+ years now and I can't tell you how annoyed I am with it. It becomes hard when my hair starts getting a little past my shoulders it all seems dry and dead to me so I have to cut it. If I start a hair growth journey with no heat or chemicals I am hoping my ends will be okay with the right amount of moisture.

Now that I know more about curly hair, a small amount of my hair's needs and more about how to care for it I am ready to start a hair growth journey. I want no heat and no chemicals. I am not for the BC because I am scared, I will not lie ha-ha. I just have no idea where to start.

I was wearing braid outs for a while but I am afraid if I see one more I will throw up... I'm over them. I've tried to throw it up in a bun while wet but I feel like I'm breaking my hair with my hair tie whether I'm careful or not AND my hair will be soaking wet in the middle of my head at the end of the day because my relaxed hair doesn't want to absorb the water.

I'm mostly asking for some hairstyles? (if you know of any other than buns which I understand may be asking for a lot). As of right now when I get out of the shower I detangle with a leave in conditioner and wide tooth comb. After that I put some coconut oil on the ends of my hair and I comb it up into a bun with a headband on- my sides are incredibly short due to the relaxer so I have to keep them back with a headband.

If a picture would help you much more I am happy to post one. Sorry about the length of the novel :P


  • hippiedollhippiedoll Registered Users Posts: 398
    Hey transitioning isn't easy but it can become easier for you. I too was getting sick of braid outs I did them everyday for 2 months to prevent using heat on my hair. You can get braids or try a sew in/wig if you want. If your hair isn't too badly damaged you can try a roller set/perm rods/flexi. If you desire you can straighten the roots. If you hair needs a break try a new style without damaging your natural hair growing in.
    Products I'm currently :love10::
    • Karen's Body Beautiful Sweet Ambrosia (Vanilla Latte scent)
    • Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk
    • Certified Organic Coconut Oil
    • Karen's Body Beautiful Heavenly Jojoba Oil
      Staple Deep Conditioners: Giovanni Direct Leave-in and Karen's Body Beautiful Luscious Locks Hair Mask :love5:
      Recent newbie to the Curly Girl Method
      6 months post relaxer. I will be 7 months post September 17 !! :occasion9:
    • GretchenGretchen Administrator Moderators Posts: 10,840 Curl Virtuoso

      Gretchen co-founder

      You are beautiful!
    • butterflyz29butterflyz29 Registered Users Posts: 1
      Your story sounds very similar to mine. A stylist who I trusted permed my hair and broke it off in the back of my head. Hair grows under, around and above but that section is taking its sweet time. Although I just started, your situation will help me because i know it wont be easy. I have a good 3-4 inches of perm on the ends and with my braid outs the ends are still so straight. The other thing that bothers me is that my problem area is so dry and broken off so I'm paying special attention to that area with the moisturizing conditioner I'm using.
    • RingletTeenLoveRingletTeenLove Registered Users Posts: 116
      I put deep conditioner on my hair put a shower cap on then a cute hat and go about my business. Then the next morning wash it out and see how that works for you.

      Sent from my Nexus S 4G using CurlTalk App

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