CurlTalk

UGH! One of those days! (Rant) I need a hug, y'all...

QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
So I've been neglecting my hair a lot lately. Not because I don't have time or because I'm lazy, but because I'm just SICK of my hair. I'm sick of having to detangle it, moisturize it, twist it into buns, braid outs, twist outs, getting oil on my clothes and pillow, smelling like oil, getting arm cramps, etc. etc.

Just... AAHHHH! It's just so unfair. I look at everyone around me with wavy or straight hair and I just envy them so much. I don't care about looking good or unique anymore, I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and not look like a hot mess! I want to take a shower and let it dry on its own and not worry about frizz, drying, etc. I wish I could extract all the curly DNA from my body and replace it with straight hair DNA, lol!

I'm sitting here with four coconut oil-soaked buns on my head, close to tears over this! I'm really tired of it. I could use a hug or words of wisdom or anything to keep me from shaving my head or worse - relaxing it or something.

:(

Comments

  • Gilly07Gilly07 Posts: 95Registered Users
    Aw hun, I feel your pain! sending you a huge hug!!
  • curlylocs232curlylocs232 Posts: 143Registered Users
    I also feel your pain! Thick curly hair (as mine is) is hard work. I leave my house at 7am with a 5 year old and don't get home til 6pm. Then after cooking and doing all the mummy things, I have more work to do. So my hair just cannot be curly all the time.
    Like you, it is just too time consuming and doesn't fit in with life! So I blow dry and flat iron when I'm going to work. I only do it every two weeks ( on wash day) . I hate the way it looks, but it makes me happier as I don't cry tears of frustration every morning.
    If you don't like to use heat, maybe try stretching / banding your hair. That way it's easier to work with?
    Relaxing is so permanent you may regret it and then it's such a long process to get your curls back. x
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    Thanks for the support, guys! <3

    Unfortunately, heat styling is out of the question because my hair is EXTREMELY sensitive to heat. I only straighten it once a YEAR (sometimes once in two years) and it fries the life out of it. So that's not really an option. And as for relaxing or chemically treating it in any way, that's another no. Mainly because I know it'll only make my hair worse (and I've never relaxed it in my entire life, yay me!) but also because my mom would probably beat my ass if I ever did LOL!

    I guess I have no choice but to live with it. It's so unfair though. I get so irritated when I hear straight haired girls say things like, "My hair is such a mess, I almost didn't leave the house today." Bish, PLEASE! LOL
  • valcavevalcave Posts: 27Registered Users
    I'm really sorry for you QueenOfFrizz, but I think most curlies go through this at least I do. I've only been here for a short time but had curly hair my entire life! I've tryed it all and even though natural is time consuming in the long run its healthier for your hair. I have cried too and feel even depressed about what to do with this mess at times but the compliments and good hair days do help. So you're not alone girl.

    Sent from my PC36100 using CurlTalk App
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    valcave wrote: »
    I'm really sorry for you QueenOfFrizz, but I think most curlies go through this at least I do. I've only been here for a short time but had curly hair my entire life! I've tryed it all and even though natural is time consuming in the long run its healthier for your hair. I have cried too and feel even depressed about what to do with this mess at times but the compliments and good hair days do help. So you're not alone girl.

    Sent from my PC36100 using CurlTalk App

    Thank you for your kind words! It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this desperate at times (I feel selfish for saying that though LOL!).

    THe temptation to grab my scissors and cut off my messy braids is slowly fading away...for now. :toothy8: I'm going to try to get back on my routine and hopefully my hair will work WITH me instead of against me this time.
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    it does suck somtimes doesnt it? sending you a hug through the computer! ive gotten a really good routine down twice and now due to another dramatic climate change im having to redo EVERYTHING that i had done :/ my hair was looking soooo nice, but in a span of 24 hours going from gawjuss high humidity summer its dry cold winter. i feel your pain as well

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    *hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,132Registered Users
    What about roller setting? You can sit under a hair dryer or just let it air dry. You could also do Bantu knots. Those styles should give your hair more predictability and last at least a week.
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    *hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.

    i know exactly how you feel!!! i had finally found good stuff in germany, then i left for australia, n took me a lil while to get the routine back, had beautiful hair, now back in germany, (winter, from summer!) and its just.... bla!!! going to do a oil treatment tonight pamper myself a bit, so hoping be better tomorrow ;)

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    What about roller setting? You can sit under a hair dryer or just let it air dry. You could also do Bantu knots. Those styles should give your hair more predictability and last at least a week.

    I tried roller setting but I just can't do it! I can never get the back parts right... I need someone to do it for me and unfortunately there isn't anyone around at the moment. :(
    Bantu knots I can do, though.. I'll try that after my next wash. I did a braid out today and it looks a lot better than it did a few days ago (frizz-wise) so I"m hopeful again.
    Thanks boo!
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    Fmasuhr wrote: »
    *hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.

    i know exactly how you feel!!! i had finally found good stuff in germany, then i left for australia, n took me a lil while to get the routine back, had beautiful hair, now back in germany, (winter, from summer!) and its just.... bla!!! going to do a oil treatment tonight pamper myself a bit, so hoping be better tomorrow ;)

    Let me know how that goes! I'm not a huge fan of oils (can't stand the smells and the greasiness), but they seem to be the only things that help my hair. Coconut, almond and castor oil are the best for my hair. What are you using tonight?
  • BekkaPooBekkaPoo Posts: 3,861Registered Users
    Have you considered cutting your hair short? If you don't wanna deal with it, get rid of it. You won't have to have much of a hair routine if you don't have much hair to begin with.

    I am trying to grow long, so I wish I had your frustrations. :laughing8:
    "The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
    "...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
    My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    I actually almost did that a few months ago! But I talked myself out of it.. I could never forgive myself if I did it. My hair is somewhere between waist and hip length (in dire need of a haircut because of split ends though) and I'd be devastated if I ever cut it all off. I waited too damn long lol! I guess I have no choice but to suck it up and work with what God gave me.
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    im hoping the oils i was using before will still work, tonight im using rosemary, mac nut oil and apricot oil im mixing it with kaolin clay and a bit of aloe vera leaving it in for a bit n seeing how it goes. i use really light oils so it should be ok

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    Fmasuhr wrote: »
    im hoping the oils i was using before will still work, tonight im using rosemary, mac nut oil and apricot oil im mixing it with kaolin clay and a bit of aloe vera leaving it in for a bit n seeing how it goes. i use really light oils so it should be ok

    Wow, I have a lot more learning to do.. I didn't even know you could use these oils in your hair! HOpe it turns out great!
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    just an update, i did it last night, it worked bettera on my face then my hair, took me ages to wash it out, i dont even think i got it all will have to low poo again tonight to see what its like tomorrow. i dont think ill do it again though wasnt bad as such just didnt really woow me.

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    Aww sorry about that hun. =) At least you're experimenting. Some of us (ahem, ME) just sit back and expect miracles. You've inspired me to try more oils and products.
  • TriMixDivaTriMixDiva Posts: 255Registered Users
    Wow your hair is uber long would you mind posting a pic? I just went on a spree cutting all the hairs that looked too straight and i ended up cutting a short halo around my entire edges lol. It's still got length in the middle but I have to maneuver things for it to not be noticeable. I'm wearing braid extensions right now just don't wanna think about it.
    TYPE: 3C
    Current State: Just bc'd but still growing out heat damage in the front that goes to the root
    High Density, Medium Porosity
    Length: Grazing SL curly with tons of layers
    Goal: MBL curly? 2019?
    Doing what I want when I want!
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    Aww sorry about that hun. =) At least you're experimenting. Some of us (ahem, ME) just sit back and expect miracles. You've inspired me to try more oils and products.

    haha thanx :) i love doing new things with my hair! n when it works really well, itll give ya an amazing hair happy high lol always feels good doing somthing new and seeing results

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    TriMixDiva wrote: »
    Wow your hair is uber long would you mind posting a pic? I just went on a spree cutting all the hairs that looked too straight and i ended up cutting a short halo around my entire edges lol. It's still got length in the middle but I have to maneuver things for it to not be noticeable. I'm wearing braid extensions right now just don't wanna think about it.

    Sorry for the late-ish reply! I can't really post pics on here, but I can PM you a couple if you'd like. =) You just have to give me a couple of days though, I'm DCing the ish out of my hair these days lol. Need to get it all nice and camera ready. How long is your hair? I need to go get a trim and it kills me to say it, but I think I'll have to cut off about 4 inches... The ends are SO dead, they have to go.. =(
  • QueenOfFrizzQueenOfFrizz Posts: 53Registered Users
    Fmasuhr wrote: »
    Aww sorry about that hun. =) At least you're experimenting. Some of us (ahem, ME) just sit back and expect miracles. You've inspired me to try more oils and products.

    haha thanx :) i love doing new things with my hair! n when it works really well, itll give ya an amazing hair happy high lol always feels good doing somthing new and seeing results


    hahaha I know what you mean! It's like, "OH MY GOD, IT ACTUALLY WORKED!"
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    feels good ay? :) the other day i mixed my two conditioners together with mac nut oil, rosemary and evening primrose oil i left it in for 45 mins n washed it out..... my goodness!! soooo soft!! and still is, even though i havent washed it since then.

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1: