Need help for me and my bf's hair

So, I'm new to curly girl ways of doing things. I have 3b, high porosity hair that tends to be dry at the front no matter what i do, frizzy and swallows moisture like a black hole. It does not tolerate heavy products well at all. It'll feel greasy, heavy and dry. The winter is terrible and can make it feel downright crispy. I often have an itchy scalp (from dryness, as well as overuse of product to combat dryness). I don't have dandruff, but i do have eczema. I've recently started cowashing and following other advice I've seen here (such as only combing when wet, only combing, no brush, putting product on wet hair). It's done absolute wonders, but my hair still isn't totally healthy. I still have problems with dryness, curl definition, frizz and itching. I use VO5 conditioners and clarifying shampoo as well as Garnier Fructis Triple Nourishing shampoo (infrequently) and the companion conditioner as my leave-in.

Now, my boyfriend has very bad scalp problems. He also has curly hair, but he keeps it very short so it looks wavy, but I'd peg it as 3b when it gets long enough to curl. His hair and scalp are frequently very dry and the scalp often flakes. I doubt it's dandruff, anti dandruff shampoo doesn't help, not that he washes it nearly enough (he often goes weeks between washes), but I've shared hats and combs with him and my hair is fine. He never conditions unless i make him (ie I've brought my conditioner with me to his house and am washing his hair for him) and is generally just not very nice to his hair. It's often itchy and flaky and drives both of us insane (for different reasons lol) and I'd like some advice for his hair. And it has to be something simple and easy that he can remember to do by himself consistently that won't make him feel effeminate. And it has to be fast too lol since we don't live together and he's still in school it's not easy to give him instructions for this because no one ever has. He will wash his hair with anything that says shampoo on it, which isn't helping his hair or scalp XD I'm sure some of you have dealt with this before lol


  • kathymackkathymack Posts: 9,999Registered Users
    Hair properties are generally more important for determining ingredients/products then curl type. Here's a link to help with that: Live Curly Live Free - Home The e-book that's available on the livecurlylivefree website would be a good investment. Nothing that you can't learn here on, just all of the information in one place.

    Once you determine your hair properties, you can look with folks with hair like yours and see what they use (in signatures.)

    In all likelihood, the products you're using just aren't moisturizing enough. For the eczema, you may want to look for products with tea tree oil and/or shea butter. Both are supposed to be good for treating eczema.

    I'm older (60) with sensitive, allergic, rosacea skin. I can't use a lot of the more popular products (CK, Shea M LI, anything Bioterra) because they make my scalp burn. My hair prefers the more natural products from the online, boutique companies. I stay away from a lot of chemicals, can't use a lot of polyquats (4 and 10 especially) because of build up.

    It's all about learning what your hair likes and doesn't like. Unfortunately, it's a lot of trial and error.
    3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
    SE PA

    HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix