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I HATE other people's kids!

KateRobertsKateRoberts Posts: 286Registered Users
Yesterday, hubby and I wanted to go out with two other couples. Both have two kids ages 4 and 2. Since it was later in the evening and no one could decide on where to go, we stupidly invited everyone over 'and bring the kids!'

Those kids were absolute MONSTERS. One pair had two little toys they kept putting in their mouths, then wiping it on my furniture, leaving fingerprints on the glass doors and TV, eating brownies and walking around getting crumbs all over the floor. All the kids kept screaming and running around my coffee tables, climbing up my couches to pull down hung tapestries, going into the kitchen to play with the dishwasher and stove.

We even had to move the computer keyboard because one 2 year old started pulling at the keys!!

And where were the parents?? Well my husband moved the men into another room to have 'peaceful conversation' :? , and the 2 mothers couldn't control their kids. They're SAHM for crying out loud!!! Don't they have time for discipline??!! :x One mom said 'Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you expected this type of behaviour'. :shock:

I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!

:x
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    :lol:
    welcome to the world of toddlers...
    
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  • three rivers curlythree rivers curly Posts: 994Registered Users
    Kate - do you have children?

    I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

    Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

    I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

    Sorry you had such a bad night.
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  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    One mom said 'Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you expected this type of behaviour'.

    You've got to be kidding. Wtf? Put the glass of wine down and go watch your kids.

    I think it's really hard to control a toddler and a preschooler in an non-babyproofed home. It can be done, but at the expense of having a good time. You're so busy keeping the kids in line that you can't enjoy the adult company. I always think it's best to hire a sitter for the night, or have your childless friends come to your house.

    I'm really sorry those kids wrecked your house. Chalk it up to a learning experience, Kate. And don't invite them over for another 4 years!
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    Kate - I definitely know how you feel about "why aren't they watching their kids" - hubby and I sometimes feel the same way about my sister with my nephew (20 months old) which is why we don't invite them over as much anymore (we'll go over there or invite her over when my parents are watching the baby). Plus, why did the husbands get out of watching their kids when the wives clearly couldn't handle all the kids themselves?

    That said, what were you thinking inviting 4 kids under 5 into your house? :lol: (I say that with a joking, not nasty tone)
    As much as parents need to watch their kids and make sure they behave, kids will still be kids and even if they were well-behaved, they still would have made a mess of your house. Maybe next time you can go to one of their houses, or they can get sitters.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    A 4-year-old climbing up on a couch to pull down hung drapes is a bit much. A 2-year-old playing with computer keyboards--eeeeh, that's a little different, because they can get quite crazy in those terrible twos.


    Kids are kids, I know, but at some point they have to start learning how to act like civilized people in public and that they just can't do whatever they want to do whenever they feel like it to other people and other people's stuff. It has to start somewhere, at some time.

    Playing with a stove is dangerous. A child can be taught not to play with dangerous appliances without treating them like a trained dog.

    My sister has a friend whose 7-year-old and 3-year-old would go to people's houses and break all of their stuff. It was strange; most kids have a natural restraint initially when they go to a home that they've never ever been to before. These kids would go to a completely strange house for the first time, and cut a beeline for bathrooms, bedrooms and kitchens like they'd just arrived at Chuck E. Cheese. The 7-year-old was throwing the householder's 1-1/2 year old in the air and punching her in the stomach.

    Their mom just sat and watched them, and occasionally laughed at their antics. We're lucky we left when we did, because the householder said later that her husband was seething in the back bedroom and was 1 hair away from throwing all of us out of the house.

    At my daughter's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese last weekend, a boy about 6 was in the toddler area, hauling his big ass on the toddler slide and throwing out all children who were in his way. His mom and dad merely said mildly, "Brandon, give the other kids their turn," to which he glanced disdainfully at them and kept on slinging kids around. The parents gave everybody apologetic, "oh, he's just a mess, isn't he" smiley looks and just stood there.

    Last night we were at Books-A-Million, and a little girl got mad because her mother told her it was time to leave. She took her Thomas the Tank engine and hurled it at my daughter, who'd lined up her trains carefully on her side of the tabletop tracks, destroying her arrangement. No one was injured and my daughter wasn't perturbed in the least, but the mother left, then came back and made her daughter apologize. She didn't apologize for her daughter. The lady wasn't violently angry with her daughter or anything like that, at all.

    I know my opinion is not a popular one, but I feel children have to learn somewhere, at some time.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Forgot to add: do you have a den? A lot of times, kids who wouldn't normally act a certain way, will get waaay overexcited with a bunch of other children. A separate room, fine-toothed beforehand to remove all important/fragile items, would be a good idea for them to hang out in.

    If you don't have a den, maybe you could use a bedroom for them to hang out in, but completely child-proofing it with a fine-toothed comb? Hindsight, I know, but these are some suggestions that might have worked out.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    the mother left, then came back and made her daughter apologize. She didn't apologize for her daughter. The lady wasn't violently angry with her daughter or anything like that, at all.

    I think that was the right thing to do. The child needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions.

    You think the mom should have apologized for her daughter?
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    You think the mom should have apologized for her daughter?

    Hmmm, I'm not sure, to tell you the truth. The kid was about 3, I guess. I know how itty-bitty and not-exactly-itty-bitty kids just can't handle things sometimes.

    I guess it's because I see so many folks just apologize for everything their kid does and go on about their business, even when the kid is way, way old enough to know better. And it's like they don't even expect the kid to even take notice that his/her actions have hurt someone else. I just don't agree with that. I think gentle, sometimes firm repetition has to start at some point.

    If I were the lady with the train-throwing daughter, I'd make her apologize, then apologized myself. That's what I would have done. But I think she handled it very well. As they were leaving, the lady even expressed understanding to her child about how she knew she was tired and it was time to call it a day.
  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    kids can be taught to behave appropriately, and it doesn't have to be done in a controlling manner. granted, there is something to be said for having some things out of the way of a toddler, but this sounds like something much beyond that. for example, there is no reason that a child should not be expected to sit at a table with food, rather than roam around someone else's house dropping crumbs all over the floor. a conscientious parent and gracious guest would ensure that the child does so. a child should know that climing on the back of a couch to pull things off the wall is not an appropriate thing to do.

    a believe there is a happy medium to be found in allowing children to be children, and helping them learn how to grow into well adapted citizens of the planet. freedom within limits seems to be a foreign concept to many people these days.

    the problem is that obviously the work on discipline and expectations of appropriate behavior had not been done up to the point of the get together. if the children were that out of control, obviously they are allowed to behave that way in their day-to-day lives.

    it really is too bad. sorry you had such an un-fun evening with your friends.

    m

    eta: the parents should have arranged for some sort of entertainment for the children if they wanted to spend the evening in relaxed conversation with their friends - but even so, they couldn't expect to just be able to ignore them and hope for the best behavior-wise. bored little ones lacking adult attention is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.
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  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    Kate - do you have children?

    I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

    Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

    I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

    Sorry you had such a bad night.

    I agree. And with children that young and that late in the evening I am not shocked at all.
  • curlylew66curlylew66 Posts: 1,685Registered Users
    Well, Childless here and I understand.

    So, here it goes....

    Sorry, the parents needed to get up and take responsibility for their children.
    They showed the host absolutely NO RESPECT regarding her house and the fact she welcomed them and their kids into her home.
    No excuses. It is fine for kids to be curious but no manners? Yes, fine for the children not to have learned manners yet but the adults had no manners and no respect for her and her property. Wow?? What a great time to teach your children how to respect someone else's belongings????
    Also, did the parents pack things to keep the kids occupied? Next time...if there is a next time...ha ha...remind the parents to bring things to keep their kids busy....blah...blah...blah...since your brats destroyed my home the last time you were here!! :P :P

    Oh, And I think you should go out a get a brand new puppy and pay your friends a visit. Make sure your puppy is fed and given plenty of water twenty minutes before your arrival. Just enough time for your new baby to use their carpet as a toilet. :P :wink: :shock: :lol:
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    WTH were those parents doing?! Man, it doesn't matter how little they were, no 2-year old or anything-year-old should EVER be given carte-blanche to go around somebody's house. My brother and I would never have done that and our parents would never have put up with it, not for a second. I can't say I wouldn't have given the kids a timeout myself if it were my house, and I can't say I would have cared one bit if that upset their lame parents. Fact of the matter is, if you have a problem child, you are the one who keeps the problems from happening. You stop your child and be a freaking parent.
    Even when I babysit I don't let that crap slide. My most frequent clients were about the ages of the children in the OP, and I didn't have parent status with them, but I still kept them acting civilized.
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Kate - we had the EXACT same experience this weekend!

    We had a small dinner on Friday night with some of MIL's friends and they each brought their grandkids (age 4, 6, 8 and 10). Each one of these kids had been over separately and they were all good kids so I didn't have any issue with it. Well, all together, it was like a pack of monkeys were let loose in my house! They were jumping off the coffee table, throwing a ball in the living room (at the tv), throwing each other to the ground etc.... even my 1 year old had enough and actually wanted to go to bed an hour earlier than usual.

    I was so stressed out by the time the night was over. I don't understand why these people couldn't control their kids! As the mother of a toddler, I do understand that age now, but these were older kids - they SHOULD know how to behave in someone's house.

    Also (and I think this applies in your case too, Kate): these people know that I only have a 1 year old and don't have age appropriate toys for their older kids. They should have brought activities/toys to occupy their kids, rather than have them break my little guy's toys (they ripped open one of this teddy-bears!).

    I know there's definitely an element of not being used to kids, but I expect my kid to behave better in other people's houses than in my own. Which means that I watch him like a hawk. So sometimes its less fun to go out with him than it is to stay home but I'm certainly not going to let him tear up someone's house.
  • juvjoyjuvjoy Posts: 670Registered Users
    Being a sahm of 3 children myself, I definitily feel they should have been more strict w/ their kids while visiting someone's home. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't have my kids out late like that anyway, unless it was to someone else's home who had children also. That's just a nightmare waiting to happen! Ya gotta be smart about those things. But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad. :roll:

    Kim
  • Anastasia BeaverhausenAnastasia Beaverhausen Posts: 13Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    Fact of the matter is, if you have a problem child, you are the one who keeps the problems from happening. You stop your child and be a freaking parent.

    You do realize that "problem children" are usually the result of "problem parents (ie; ineffective parents)?" You know, the whole you reap what you sow thing.
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    juvjoy wrote:
    But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad. :roll:

    Kim
    well I hate other peopel's bad azz kids.

    I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.
  • noellenoelle Posts: 377Registered Users
    Trenellm wrote:
    I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.

    Right on, Trenellm!

    Guess what? It WORKS. Why more people don't use this strategy is a mystery. Maybe because it forces the parent to actually PARENT their child? It's disturbing to see parents who are scared to step up when their children are misbehaving.
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  • three rivers curlythree rivers curly Posts: 994Registered Users
    Kate - do you have children?

    I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

    Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

    I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

    Sorry you had such a bad night.

    I agree. And with children that young and that late in the evening I am not shocked at all.

    Seriously. I understand that they were having a good time and probably didn't want the day to end, but at what point do you put your children first? When they have had enough, they have had enough. Choosing to have children bascially means you put your own needs/wants last.
    Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

    Perception is not reality.

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  • gggg Posts: 1,865Registered Users
    Trenellm wrote:
    juvjoy wrote:
    But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad. :roll:

    Kim
    well I hate other peopel's bad azz kids.

    I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.


    So do I. I definately would have said something if they are in my home tearing up my stuff. Were these good friends of yours? Maybe you didn't want to offend them by telling them about their brats, but maybe that's what they needed. I definately would not be inviting them over again.
    You don't have to blow out my flame to make yours burn brighter.

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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!



    You probably shouldn't ever have children. Even the best behaved children will make messes...and your heart will be full of holes.
  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!



    You probably shouldn't ever have children. Even the best behaved children will make messes...and your heart will be full of holes.

    Very true :lol:
  • gggg Posts: 1,865Registered Users
    I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!



    You probably shouldn't ever have children. Even the best behaved children will make messes...and your heart will be full of holes.

    That maybe true but hopefully you can teach them from an early age to be responsible and clean up after themselves and respect other people and their belongings.
    You don't have to blow out my flame to make yours burn brighter.

    When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

    How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    gg wrote:
    I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!



    You probably shouldn't ever have children. Even the best behaved children will make messes...and your heart will be full of holes.

    That maybe true but hopefully you can teach them from an early age to be responsible and clean up after themselves and respect other people and their belongings.

    Very young kids take time to learn this... and in the meantime, there will be messes.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    That maybe true but hopefully you can teach them from an early age to be responsible and clean up after themselves and respect other people and their belongings.


    That takes years. The original poster's heart won't survive the messy toddler years.
  • ~Ghost Poster~~Ghost Poster~ Posts: 2,264Registered Users

    I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!

    :x

    I was/am that way too. I hate it when people bring their toddlers to my house. But, it's different when it's your own kid(s) making the mess, and, also, you have the ability to raise them your way. Though, I have to say, my son now lives like a pig in spite of my trying to raise him to be neat. But he never EVER behaved that way in anyone else's house, nor in our own house, when he was a toddler. I never had gates, child locks, nor did I have to put my breakables out of his reach. He NEVER touched anything that wasn't his. I did have the little outlet covers, but when he was 2, he found the ONE outlet that didn't have a cover upstairs in an area where he almost never played, and damn if he didn't make straight for it with a key.

    Anyway, I hate others' badly behaved children too, so I feel your pain. If my son DID behave that way, I would have taken him aside, put the fear of Mom into him, and if that didn't work, we would have left the situation.

    It's your house, and they're not your kids. It's your right to feel anyway you want to about it.
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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Trenellm wrote:
    juvjoy wrote:
    But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad. :roll:

    Kim

    well I hate other peopel's bad azz kids.

    I agree with that partially; once kids are past a certain age, if their parents are any good at all, those kids should know how to behave. Toddlers, though, I imagine are tougher to control. The parents in Kate's house should have been ON IT, though, keeping the kiddies in line. Don't feel like it? Find a sitter, or stay home and let the kids tear apart your own house.

    But yeah, I would say kids age 5 and up, or as young as 4, should know better than to act like little terrors in someone else's home. I've encountered so many kids who are just mean, disrespectful, rude, etc., and while I know it's because of the parents or what they learn from their peers, I can't help feeling really irritated with those kids. Don't they learn any social skills at ALL? School? Anywhere?

    Examples? Kids in restaurants, libraries or other public places who are allowed to run rampant. I worked in a restaurant as a waitress for a while, and the customers I hated most were the ones who didn't keep their kids in their seats. I don't need to be tripping over your screaming brat when I'm carrying a two and a half-foot wide tray full of glass, food, beverages and silverware. Thanks.

    I also agree that if I had kids, every time they started acting up in public or at someone else's home, we'd leave. I'm not so selfish that I would inflict my over-tired, cranky, unruly children on others.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,771Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    put the fear of Mom into him

    :lol: Love It!!!
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  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users
    I think running, screaming, and climbing on furniture is rude, no matter what the age. I think eating in someone else's living room without being told it's okay is rude at any age. That said, it's the parents who are rude, not the kids. They should have controlled their kids or gone home, especially since it was later in the evening.

    Now you know not to invite these people to bring their kids ever again.
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  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    It bothers me when people won't take the time to tend to their children too.

    But you invited several young children into your home--you don't expect some mess and noise?

    I don't even have kids and I find the statement "I hate other people's kids" to be pretty offensive. They're just children, it's not their fault they don't know any better.
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  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I think Kate was simply venting. It was a very out of control situation for her and she was upset about it. I certainly don't think she really hates other people's kids. Maybe their behavior, but certainly not the little monsters themselves. :wink: :lol:
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