Should I call??

IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
So I met this guy on Friday at a Christmas party. He's kind of a lot older than me (33, I'm 23). He seems nice, wasn't really aggressive or anything in his approach when he introduced himself.

We talked for about 30-40 minutes and he asked for my number. He didn't put it in his phone or write it down, he said he'd remember it. I have it to him but honestly didn't expect him to call. Kinda thought that was his way of blowing me off in a nice way.

So he did call on Saturday. I was shocked. We talked for a few minutes but I was with family so he said he'd call me the next day(Christmas). Well he never called. I figured he was busy with his family or something but he didn't call today either (Monday). I never got his number just the number that came up on my phone when he called.

I don't think I could have said anything that turned him off in a 5 minute convo. Should I call the number on my caller id?? I feel kinda creepy doing that since I didn't confirm that was a good number to reach him. Do you think he'll call and was just busy because of the holiday?? I don't know why but I really like this guy...I mean, a much as you can like someone who you don't really know.


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Comments

  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Novice
    So I met this guy on Friday at a Christmas party. He's kind of a lot older than me (33, I'm 23). He seems nice, wasn't really aggressive or anything in his approach when he introduced himself.

    We talked for about 30-40 minutes and he asked for my number. He didn't put it in his phone or write it down, he said he'd remember it. I have it to him but honestly didn't expect him to call. Kinda thought that was his way of blowing me off in a nice way.

    So he did call on Saturday. I was shocked. We talked for a few minutes but I was with family so he said he'd call me the next day(Christmas). Well he never called. I figured he was busy with his family or something but he didn't call today either (Monday). I never got his number just the number that came up on my phone when he called.

    I don't think I could have said anything that turned him off in a 5 minute convo. Should I call the number on my caller id?? I feel kinda creepy doing that since I didn't confirm that was a good number to reach him. Do you think he'll call and was just busy because of the holiday?? I don't know why but I really like this guy...I mean, a much as you can like someone who you don't really know.


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    Nope. If he's interested, he will call. He's already called you once so he's proven that he's not too shy to do so. It bugs me if someone says they'll call and then they don't.
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What MrsP said.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

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  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    He didn't give you a number to call, so no, leave it alone. If he called you, he's bound to do it again. That is, unless you told him you eat babies or something the last time you talked.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Saria, you are SO bad!!!

    I'm not sure I agree with the other posters. I agree that it annoys me when someone says he or she will call and then doesn't. Definitely an X in my book.

    However, I'm not sure what the harm is if you call him. Maybe he felt you weren't really interested? Is it possible you gave off that vibe?

    Please let us know what happens if you call back.
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  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Heh. ;)

    I think it's that if the tables were turned, many women would be put off by someone calling without being given a number to do so. Granted, it's a bit different because as women we sort of have to be more vigilant and certain behaviors give off a more threatening vibe than they would to a man.
    Assuming I don't give someone a number, I'll usually say something like "well, this is my number, if you want to call me back" (I do this in general, not specifically with men that I might be interested in).
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Maybe he felt you weren't really interested? Is it possible you gave off that vibe?

    This is the kind of thinking that keeps women chasing men who aren't interested. He has her number, he's called, he said he'll call again. Guessing all the things he might be thinking and all the motivations for why he did or did not do something - just don't even start. To have just met the guy and already start doing that? Exhausting. And would you really want to limp along trying to get a relationship off the ground with a guy who didn't call back because of some "vibe" in a five minute convo? NOOOOOOOO.
  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Yeah, I think it's something we need to remind ourselves of sometimes --- we can't start guessing and questioning how any little thing may have been perceived. It really is exhausting.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I disagree with the others about having the number. In my experience, if someone calls you, unless they otherwise state it, it's assumed that you have their number and it's okay to call. Technically you shouldn't call because he said he would and he hasn't. But if he doesn't and you're into him, I don't see a big deal if you do. If it keeps happening after this then I would say forget it.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    I still have the piece of paper hubby gave me w/ his number on it...
    yeah, I'm a dork
    
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  • BekkaPooBekkaPoo Posts: 3,861Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Josephine wrote: »
    I disagree with the others about having the number. In my experience, if someone calls you, unless they otherwise state it, it's assumed that you have their number and it's okay to call. Technically you shouldn't call because he said he would and he hasn't. But if he doesn't and you're into him, I don't see a big deal if you do. If it keeps happening after this then I would say forget it.

    This..

    Also just be careful that he didn't call you from some other number that's not his (say it's his friend's phone he called you from). If that's the case, be suspicious because there may be a girlfriend/wife in the picture and he's just not telling you.
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  • WiregirlWiregirl Posts: 1,695Registered Users
    No....don't call him!
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    He knows how to get in touch with you. if he's interested, he will!
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  • sew and sewsew and sew Posts: 3,443Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    Maybe he felt you weren't really interested? Is it possible you gave off that vibe?
    This is the kind of thinking that keeps women chasing men who aren't interested. He has her number, he's called, he said he'll call again. Guessing all the things he might be thinking and all the motivations for why he did or did not do something - just don't even start. To have just met the guy and already start doing that? Exhausting. And would you really want to limp along trying to get a relationship off the ground with a guy who didn't call back because of some "vibe" in a five minute convo? NOOOOOOOO.

    Great post, and I could have written what Curlypeal said in her post that you quoted. It's exactly what I was thinking while reading down this thread.

    But at the same time, it has always bothered me a little to start putting things on me, at least recognizing the potential for it so much it's like they might as well officially be on me, when things aren't black and white.

    For all we know this guy could have had second thoughts about calling her twice in the middle of the Christmas holiday. He didn't want to come off that strong, and doesn't call the day after either to compensate for having already come off a little strong in his mind. ...Or he's just fickle. The possibilities are almost endless, but the fact remains he needs to honor his word, you don't need to compensate for whatever is causing him to thus far not honor it.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    The fact that he didn't give you his number speaks volumes. Don't call him. If he's interested, HE WILL CALL. To me, it seems like he's probably already committed to someone else though.

    Besides...10 years is a lot when you're only 23. You have to ask yourself the question...why is a 33 year old man intersted in someone so young. It's usually not a good answer.
  • IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
    I decided you guys are right, I'm not gonna call. I felt kinda weird about it anyway!

    I was surprised that he did call in Christmas eve, and thought he may wait until after the holidays were over but he didn't. So maybe he does feel like he came on too strong.

    He was the one perusing me the night we met. Even after I originally gave him my number he came bak and asked to buy me another drink and to sit and talk with him. He had mentioned getting together this week So I kinda hope he'll call, but I hate when people don't keep their word.


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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    Yeah, I think it's something we need to remind ourselves of sometimes --- we can't start guessing and questioning how any little thing may have been perceived. It really is exhausting.

    Yea I do this with everything and this is how I suffer most of my life, always over thinking things. Its very exhausting.
    The fact that he didn't give you his number speaks volumes. Don't call him. If he's interested, HE WILL CALL. To me, it seems like he's probably already committed to someone else though.

    Besides...10 years is a lot when you're only 23. You have to ask yourself the question...why is a 33 year old man intersted in someone so young. It's usually not a good answer.


    I was thinking that too, when I first read but I try not to judge people.

    I'm 21 and theres no way in hell I'd even think about talking to a man in his 30's . I'm not saying 30 is old or anything, but I'm practically an infant compared to a 30 year old's maturity.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
    The fact that he didn't give you his number speaks volumes. Don't call him. If he's interested, HE WILL CALL. To me, it seems like he's probably already committed to someone else though.

    Besides...10 years is a lot when you're only 23. You have to ask yourself the question...why is a 33 year old man intersted in someone so young. It's usually not a good answer.

    I never thought about the number thing. I didn't ask him for it, he just asked for mine and I gave it to him. I've been out of the dating game for a while so I'm not really sure how these things go.

    As far as his age, I actually like dating older guys because I prefer the maturity. I don't do well with guys my age because of their immaturity. When we first started talking neither of us asked about the age thing. It came up a little later and when I told him I was 23 he looked a little concerned. A lot of times people think that I'm older than I am, supposedly because of the way that I carry myself and the way that i speak. He said I'll probably think he's an old man but I told him I was cool with his age. Maybe he thought it over and realized he wasn't cool with mine?? I dunno. I'll wait and see.


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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm glad you decided not to call. A # showing up on your caller ID is different from someone giving it to you. You said you could only talk a few minutes when he last called because you were with family for the holidays. He may be backing off until the holidays are over. I agree with others not to over think it. Just relax and enjoy the holidays.
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