Bad karma??

IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
So this year has been hell! First I found out my dad had stage 4 lung cancer, then I had to watch him waste away due to chemo. In July my uncle died. In August my dad died. And now my gmom is in hospice due to kidney failure and given > a month to live. What could one single family, or any person in that family have done to deserve such a terrible time?? Do you believe in bad karma?? Could it be due to something we've done? It may sound crazy and maybe it is, but I just feel like that has to be a reason for the craziness!

I'd also like to add that in September I was laid off and earlier this month I broke up with my bf. my life really sucks!


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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You've been through some terrible trauma, for sure. I'm very sorry for your losses. Life is hard.

    I don't, however, believe in karma or that bad things happen to people for some grander reason. Bad things happen to lots of people...all of us actually. It's very unfortunate, but the more people we have in our lives, the more people we will lose from our lives. It's the natural way of things that most of us will lose our parents and grandparents. It's very sad, but it beats the alternative, of our parents and grandparents having to lose us.

    I hope things get better for you and that you find peace and perspective with all you've been through in such a short period time.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,772Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    That is so much to deal with. I'm really sorry I thought you were a troll. We've been taken here before, so some of us are a little gun shy. Please, I hope you will accept my apology.

    I don't think it's Karma. I think it is just life. We live, we die. It's hard to accept, but there's really nothing you can do, but cry for your loss. I'm so very sorry you are going thru this.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^^This.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    I'm so sorry about your dad. I lost mine to lung cancer when I was a teenager...it was horrible watching him waste away.

    I'm all about good energy and stuff, but I don't believe bad things happen to people because of karma. I mean, is anybody going to use karma to explain away 9/11 or the Holocaust? As Lotsawaves said, it's just life...and sometimes it sucks :(

    Sorry things are so rough right now.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,226Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm so very sorry JordanNicole. There are no words to comfort someone who has experienced such losses. You need to be very kind and patient with yourself. Your body as well as your psyche is stressed.

    I hope you continue to be part of our community. :hello2:
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
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  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,764Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ((Hugs))
    3a/b.
    Mexico City.
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  • greenjumpergreenjumper Posts: 891Registered Users
    (((hugs))) I'm sorry that you have been through so much this year.

    There are many different theories about karma. I think the one you are talking about is that when someone does something bad, something horrible, random, and seemingly unrelated will happen to them. I don't like that explanation because a long time ago it was used to make people feel like their hardships (blindness, poverty,deformities, floods) in life were of their own fault and they would be shamed in the community. (and sometimes still used this way today). It also gives off a "the universe is out to get you" vibe.

    The other theory of karma is more of a common sense type of thing. If you do bad things, you are more likely to be in bad situations and bad things are more likely occur to you.

    Taken from Wikipedia:
    Karma is not punishment or retribution but simply an extended expression or consequence of natural acts. Karma means "deed" or "act" and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, that governs all life.

    I guess that is sort of along the lines of "live by the sword, die by the sword"

    Therefore, I don't think your family is experiencing all of this due to karma. Bad things happen to good people all the time.
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't believe in karma in the pop cultural sense. I do believe in cause and effect though, which I suppose is karma.

    Things happen to everyone, bad and good, it truly is how we deal with it. One of my friends isn't the greatest person ever (she's a good friend but she cheats, can be mean, does drugs and lives her life pretty selfishly) She tends to get back what she gives most of the time, but it's because of her actions, not some mystical force. Also because she kinda doesn't care it's never really that big of a deal to her. She owns her actions, recognizes she probably deserved it and gets over it the next day. She actually lives a pretty amazing life that's rich and full of fun and friends.

    Some people I'm sure think she lives a charmed life. In fact I KNOW people think this of her. Bad things do happen to her, in fact things that would have made me crumble into a heaping pile of tears and pity ... but because she owns her actions it's never really that big of a deal to her or something she dwells on. She's had some pretty traumatic medical stuff happen to her to, and grew up in a very dysfunctional family but she honestly never focuses on it and never feels sorry for herself ... it's truly is all attitude. Despite her many faults I actually find her inspiring because of this.

    I'm sorry this is happened to you. But it's not a cause of something someone did. Take care of yourself! Hugs!
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-2027-1364839025-19.gif
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You're going through so much. Please don't think you did something to deserve any of it.
    4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

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  • theliothelio Posts: 5,374Registered Users
    first: {{{HUGS}}}

    I do believe in karma, but more like greenjumper explained it. i dont think karma has anything to do with causing the holocaust or anything. its more like because of hilter's actions he ended up a sickly, paranoid, drug addict with one testicle who was such a coward he killed himself.

    As far as your family, i dont think it has to do with "bad karma" or them doing anything horrible to deserve it. Marie Currie and her husbadn (their children may have also followed in the same fate) both was sickly and died young due to their work with radioactive material, i wouldn't say they did bad things. They just didnt know that walking around with plutonium in ones pocket can led to health problems.

    its horrible to lose loved ones. worst when you lose them so close together. dont worry, things will get better. us curlies are here for you.
  • IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
    Thanks everyone for all of the responses. I guess everything is just so hard to wrap my head around these days that I'm looking for an answer, any answer!

    The hardest part is that it's the holidays, and it being the first one without my dad makes it a struggle but now with my gmom dying it's way worse.


    Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk
  • IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    That is so much to deal with. I'm really sorry I thought you were a troll. We've been taken here before, so some of us are a little gun shy. Please, I hope you will accept my apology.

    I don't think it's Karma. I think it is just life. We live, we die. It's hard to accept, but there's really nothing you can do, but cry for your loss. I'm so very sorry you are going thru this.

    No apology necessary but I accept it anyway :) I didn't really take too much offense to begin with because the truth always comes out in the end. I've been using the forum for months for hair stuff but since life's been so crazy I've started using this board to vent.


    Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk
  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm very sorry for your loss. To me it's just a bad coincidence and you must allow yourself to grieve, but don't think for a second you or your family are guilty of any wrongdoing.

    As an atheist, I don't believe in karma or anything spiritual. I think life is random (neither fair nor unfair). I say this without any cynicism. Life is fascinating despite all the chaos and it is up to us to make our own happiness however we can. Some will face more hardship than others, but happiness is ultimately a state of mind and has more to do with someone's outlook on life. Death isn't a punishment. It's natural, it awaits us all and should not be feared beyond whatever healthy amount is needed for self-preservation.

    But losing loved ones is always tough, no matter what you believe in. However, how lucky that we had them in our lives to begin with. The best way you can honour their memory is by living a happy life, because I'm sure that's what they wanted for you.
  • IAmJordanNicoleIAmJordanNicole Posts: 784Registered Users
    Thanks to everyone for your kind words...just an update, my gmom died in Wednesday. I actually felt relieved that it wasn't long and she didn't suffer too much.

    I'm not sure why things decided to all go downhill at once but I'm gonna try to stay as positive as I can and hope that thing get back on track soon.


    Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,772Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Iam JordanNicole, thanks for being so understanding.

    I was talking to a friend tonite who lost her husband last year and is still dealing with this, then she lost her father a few weeks ago. She won't leave her house and cries everyday. One thing that really stood out in mind was that I would be fine if I died today, BUT my concern would be for the loved ones I left behind and how THEY would deal with it.

    I really like the idea of the funerals where everyone rejoices because our loved ones are finally going home. Of course, we will miss them, but they are finally home again and happy.

    I know many don't believe the way I do. I've had a lot of losses in my life. My niece died at 16 in a car accident, my grandparents on both sides are gone, most of my aunts and uncles and cousins are gone, my dad died on father's day, and my mom is dying now.

    It gives me comfort that they are all home again and one day I will be with them again. As far as Karma? I think how we treat others can come back on us, but I don't think this is the case for you. (((HUGS))) for you and the difficult time you are going thru, especially during the holidays.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • fraufrau Posts: 6,130Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Lotsawaves wrote: »

    One thing that really stood out in mind was that I would be fine if I died today, BUT my concern would be for the loved ones I left behind and how THEY would deal with it.

    i am this way. i think of death as a release and a freeing experience, peaceful...i don't think i'll see anyone though (as if i'd want to).

    my point is that death isn't a bad thing, imo.
    if my daughter died i don't think i'd be able to see it any other way but a bad thing or a punishment, but from the outside where i have no emotional ties my opinion stands that death is not bad.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,772Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Frau, why would you see your daughter's death as a punishment? I can see it as a bad thing, because no one wants to lose a child. I think we can better understand our parents/grandparent's death, etc, because like I said one day we will all die. That's just life. We all make mistakes and hurt people, but I don't think it is always intentional. Sometimes we react when we ourselves are hurt. People who intentionally hurt others are a different story and I would hope Karma would come back and bite them in the butt. But I also don't see some innocent person dying, so that someone else gets this Karma. Why should it affect someone else's life who may be a good person?

    My ex sister in law is a very wonderful giving person. Her life has been filled with hurt. Her 1st husband cheated on her with her best friend. She found out after 5 years and a baby that her 2nd husband was gay. Her 3rd marriage almost ended because he was having an affair, but they stayed together, because her 16 year old daughter died in a car accident. I swear I don't know how she is sane today. This woman has never done anything to hurt anyone.

    The mom from my hs sweetheart is also the most wonderful, giving woman. Her 1st husband died, she remarried and the 2nd husband died. Her youngest son died of a drug overdose and her older son, my bf, committed suicide.

    I don't think any of these wonderful women did anything to cause these things in their lives. I have so much respect and admiration for them that they can continue on. I'm not sure that I could.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

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