my hair is so damaged

beadybeadsbeadybeads Registered Users Posts: 23
but i refuse to cut my hair. it took 4 years just to get to armpit length. im not cutting it. i dont want short hair. i dont like weave and i dont want to look like a lesbo with short hair again.

i feel like our hair is a curse. why is it soooo hard to take care of?

any tips on nursing my hair healthy without cutting?

thanks in advance.

hi by the way! i am new!
4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.
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Comments

  • CurlyElectraCurlyElectra Registered Users Posts: 1,145 Curl Neophyte
    Who is that in your avi? Her hair is lovely!

    And whether you can nurse your hair back to health or not depends on the kind of damage - if it's just dry, you need to moisturize, or work on your protein-moisture balance, but if you have splits, knots, or heat damage you'll have to cut it. The Natural Haven is a great resource for hair education and has several posts on damaged hair.

    Good luck!
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Registered Users Posts: 5,400 Curl Connoisseur
    If it's really damaged it's best to cut now than continue with the splits and breakage. If you are using healthy hair & moisturizing practices it shouldn't take as long for your hair to grow back.
    4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

    HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

    SL APL BSL MBL
  • Ogo'mOgo'm Registered Users Posts: 242
    I don't know, but I am wondering if you cut it slowly over time while keeping it in braids or twists for a few weeks at a time will help.

    Good luck. It must be very frustrating.
  • CocoTCocoT Registered Users Posts: 5,330
    In what way do you think your hair is damaged? If it's just dry, that can be fixed relatively easy. But if you have lots of splits and breakage, it will be harder to nurse your hair back to health without a trim.

    What are the issues you're experiencing? That will help people help you
    11.gif
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
    -Albert Einstein
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  • hippychichippychic Registered Users Posts: 4,673 Curl Neophyte
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CerendipityCerendipity Registered Users Posts: 5,091 Curl Novice
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    say-what-now.jpg
  • beadybeadsbeadybeads Registered Users Posts: 23
    my hair is dry and has splits and is thick in the roots but thin on the ends.

    i dont want to cut it because when i cut it the last time i looked like a man. i have a boyfriend now and i cant be looking like a man.

    i dont know who that is in my picture. i found the picture on google and liked it. i WISH my hair was closer to that. it would be so easy to take care of.

    are there any youtubers that have nursed their hair without cutting? can you point me to them? i really want to learn to love my hair like so many others but its such a burden.
    4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Registered Users Posts: 5,400 Curl Connoisseur
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    Wow...i need to get better at my troll spotting.
    4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

    HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

    SL APL BSL MBL
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    beadybeads wrote: »
    my hair is dry and has splits and is thick in the roots but thin on the ends.

    i dont want to cut it because when i cut it the last time i looked like a man. i have a boyfriend now and i cant be looking like a man.

    i dont know who that is in my picture. i found the picture on google and liked it. i WISH my hair was closer to that. it would be so easy to take care of.

    are there any youtubers that have nursed their hair without cutting? can you point me to them? i really want to learn to love my hair like so many others but its such a burden.

    Walk a mile in another man's shoes before you wish to have his feet.

    **Getting my fortune cookie on**

    I know plenty of women with loose curls that have a harder time than me dealing with their hair.

    As for having short hair and looking like a man, I don't equate the two. Sorry you felt that way when your hair was short.

    Anyway, I hope you got whatever advice you were looking for from the previous posts. Take care.
  • beadybeadsbeadybeads Registered Users Posts: 23
    im not trolling. i just need some help with my hair. am sorry if i offended someone. i just wanted to get some advice and share my feelings
    4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.
  • CityGirl81CityGirl81 Registered Users Posts: 418
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.
  • CocoTCocoT Registered Users Posts: 5,330
    beadybeads wrote: »
    my hair is dry and has splits and is thick in the roots but thin on the ends.

    i dont want to cut it because when i cut it the last time i looked like a man. i have a boyfriend now and i cant be looking like a man.

    i dont know who that is in my picture. i found the picture on google and liked it. i WISH my hair was closer to that. it would be so easy to take care of.

    are there any youtubers that have nursed their hair without cutting? can you point me to them? i really want to learn to love my hair like so many others but its such a burden.
    There's a difference between a trim and a cut. If you're APL like you say, you can trim a couple inches and still have a significant amount of hair. Then again, without seeing your hair I'm still making assumptions.

    I can't help you about your personal perception of yourself though. If you think you'll look like a man then Idk what to tell you. If you want to nurse your hair back to health, my advice is that you'll need to start off with a trim. To prevent further splitting, you many need to up your moisturizing (DC's and moisturizers with water as the first ingredient).

    You'll eventually need to trim off the damage anyways or else it'll break off and continue to split. If you want healthy hair, as you claim, then that's how you can start.
    11.gif
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
    -Albert Einstein
    Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
  • CerendipityCerendipity Registered Users Posts: 5,091 Curl Novice
    who gave this thread one star lol?
  • beadybeadsbeadybeads Registered Users Posts: 23
    i think i will just cut it and start over. thank you for those that tried to help
    4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.
  • ttlollattlolla Registered Users Posts: 948 Curl Neophyte
    I was going to suggest the gradual trimming but best of luck with the hair cut
  • murrrcatmurrrcat Registered Users Posts: 9,596
    Maybe you should post some
    Pictures, so we would know what's going on.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • greenandchicgreenandchic Registered Users Posts: 2,584 Curl Neophyte
    CityGirl81 wrote: »
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.

    Unfortunately a lot of people really do feel that way. Natural hair is a journey in so many ways. Why do you think we see so many chewed up burnt/relaxed hair and busted weaves? Because no matter how horrible their "hair" looks, their real natural hair is worse (in their minds).
    APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
    My Fotki!
    Below: Typical PS bun
    004-vi.jpg
  • KilajoKilajo Registered Users Posts: 786 Curl Neophyte
    CityGirl81 wrote: »
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO
  • tbabyytbabyy Registered Users Posts: 570
    Kilajo wrote: »
    CityGirl81 wrote: »
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO

    +1 there is no one way that a lesbian could look. O_o

    "My Evo thinks its smarter than me."
    b04fbffc-52c8-49d6-a7f1-77140040642d.jpg

    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • KeenyliciousKeenylicious Registered Users Posts: 2,320 Curl Neophyte
    Oh... We're still paying attention to this?

    on my EVO. I'm fancy.
    tumblr_lr2y4sUYNh1qb5gkjo1_250.gif
  • CurlyElectraCurlyElectra Registered Users Posts: 1,145 Curl Neophyte
    Kilajo wrote: »
    CityGirl81 wrote: »
    hippychic wrote: »
    why are you all taking this troll seriously? :sad3:

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO

    Unfortunately a lot of people feel this way as well. When my hair was shorter, I could be dressed like a woman (whatever that really means) from head to toe - earrings, makeup, heels, dress...and when my friends and I would go out I got asked if one of them was my girlfriend more than once. Since my hair has grown out, not one person has said that to me. Sad, but true.
  • CurlyElectraCurlyElectra Registered Users Posts: 1,145 Curl Neophyte
    Oh... We're still paying attention to this?

    on my EVO. I'm fancy.

    If you don't want to, you can leave though. :love3:
  • naturaldollnaturaldoll Registered Users Posts: 569 Curl Novice
    beadybeads wrote: »
    im not trolling. i just need some help with my hair. am sorry if i offended someone. i just wanted to get some advice and share my feelings

    Well I don't think you are a troll, just someone who needs help and isn't very message board sophisticated. That's somthing that irks me about forums, people are quick to throw around the word troll.

    As far as your hair, please don't cut it if you really don't want to. Afterall you still have to view yourself in the mirror for the next 1+ years waiting for it to grow out. And if you think short hair is masculine (I happen to feel that way too, that's why I'm transitioning.) that would set you up for a very unhappy, selfconcious 2012.

    I can't really offer advice sense I'm new as well, only a month on this board and 8 months transitioning. Are you relaxed or natural? Either way maybe you could just transition. Trim your ends to remove a little damage, and read the board for haircare tips to keep your newgrowth healthy. And then whe the healthier hair is at a desireable length, cut off the damage.

    But please DO NOT cut your hair if you do not feel ready.
    Last Relaxer: February 14, 2011
    BC: March 17, 2012
    Porosity: Low to Normal
    Curl Type: 4a/3c
    Texture: Coarse
    Density: Thick
    Length:shoulder
    24661416.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
    :love4::afro:
  • KilajoKilajo Registered Users Posts: 786 Curl Neophyte
    Kilajo wrote: »
    CityGirl81 wrote: »

    I immediately suspected that when "our hair is a curse" was stated.

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO

    Unfortunately a lot of people feel this way as well. When my hair was shorter, I could be dressed like a woman (whatever that really means) from head to toe - earrings, makeup, heels, dress...and when my friends and I would go out I got asked if one of them was my girlfriend more than once. Since my hair has grown out, not one person has said that to me. Sad, but true.

    I know there are people that think that way but it's just another one of those stereotypes like all stereotypes that have some truth and some untruth. My point or issue is not necessarily the stereotype but the use of the slur to refer to lesbians. That's why I assumed she was a troll and didn't post at first...

    On my EVO
  • naturaldollnaturaldoll Registered Users Posts: 569 Curl Novice
    Where I'm from gay slurs are still in regular use. Wrong, but still very true. A gay slur doesn't automaticaly mark a troll. Like I said she seems new to message boards, maybe a little unsophisticated/ignorant, but I felt like her question was genuine.
    Last Relaxer: February 14, 2011
    BC: March 17, 2012
    Porosity: Low to Normal
    Curl Type: 4a/3c
    Texture: Coarse
    Density: Thick
    Length:shoulder
    24661416.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
    :love4::afro:
  • CurlyElectraCurlyElectra Registered Users Posts: 1,145 Curl Neophyte
    Kilajo wrote: »
    Kilajo wrote: »

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO

    Unfortunately a lot of people feel this way as well. When my hair was shorter, I could be dressed like a woman (whatever that really means) from head to toe - earrings, makeup, heels, dress...and when my friends and I would go out I got asked if one of them was my girlfriend more than once. Since my hair has grown out, not one person has said that to me. Sad, but true.

    I know there are people that think that way but it's just another one of those stereotypes like all stereotypes that have some truth and some untruth. My point or issue is not necessarily the stereotype but the use of the slur to refer to lesbians. That's why I assumed she was a troll and didn't post at first...

    On my EVO

    Wait, do you mean lesbo? I wasn't aware that was a slur. Hey, she could still be a troll, lol. I dunno.
  • KeenyliciousKeenylicious Registered Users Posts: 2,320 Curl Neophyte
    Oh... We're still paying attention to this?

    on my EVO. I'm fancy.

    If you don't want to, you can leave though. :love3:
    Take yo ass on somewhere, girl.


    on my EVO. I'm fancy.
    tumblr_lr2y4sUYNh1qb5gkjo1_250.gif
  • CurlyElectraCurlyElectra Registered Users Posts: 1,145 Curl Neophyte
    Oh... We're still paying attention to this?

    on my EVO. I'm fancy.

    If you don't want to, you can leave though. :love3:
    Take yo ass on somewhere, girl.


    on my EVO. I'm fancy.

    Heehee. :laughing6:
  • adthomasadthomas Registered Users Posts: 5,525 Curl Neophyte
    Kilajo wrote: »
    Kilajo wrote: »

    It was the gay slur that caused me to suspect it.

    On my EVO

    Unfortunately a lot of people feel this way as well. When my hair was shorter, I could be dressed like a woman (whatever that really means) from head to toe - earrings, makeup, heels, dress...and when my friends and I would go out I got asked if one of them was my girlfriend more than once. Since my hair has grown out, not one person has said that to me. Sad, but true.

    I know there are people that think that way but it's just another one of those stereotypes like all stereotypes that have some truth and some untruth. My point or issue is not necessarily the stereotype but the use of the slur to refer to lesbians. That's why I assumed she was a troll and didn't post at first...

    On my EVO

    I didn't assume she was a troll, but I was immediately turned off by her comments so I had no intention of responding to her question. I think it was a slur because it was definitely not meant as a compliment. The word "masculine" would have served the same purporse. It has nothing to do with being message board sophisticated. She might use that word with a friend or relative but I doubt she would she say that to a stranger on the street. If not, then why post it on a message board full of strangers. She apologized so I'm over it but it wasn't a good first impression. By the way, I know quite a few long haired lesbians.
    Yes, it's real. No, you can't touch it. :wav:
  • KeenyliciousKeenylicious Registered Users Posts: 2,320 Curl Neophyte
    It's the siggy that got my spidey senses tingling. But who knows, maybe it's legit.

    Either way, I have nothing of substance to add say.

    on my EVO. I'm fancy.
    tumblr_lr2y4sUYNh1qb5gkjo1_250.gif

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