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I don't think I can get pregnant

NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
Long story short I haven't been trying to get prego but I wouldn't mind if I was either. For 2 1/2 years I haven't used condoms .... I use to b on birth control . But stopped. Im just very depressed and don't have money to go to the doctor right now.


NaturallySade

Comments

  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    OK, if you haven't tried, how do you know if you can or can't get pregnant?

    There are lots of steps you can take through fertility awareness before you even worry about your ability to conceive. You can spend just a few bucks on the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book and software, a thermometer and if you want, some ovulation test strips. You can read about it/look it up in more detail, but basically, you want to determine if/when you ovulate, which you can do by tracking your temperatures when you wake up and your cervical fluid, with ovulation strips as a back-up if you want - they're expensive, so I'd just use them for a cycle or two to see if you are ovulating at the beginning while you are learning.

    Assuming that your charts suggest ovulation, then have sex frequently in the few days before ovulation until the day of and day after. Do that for several months to a year before you even worry about problems.

    It could be that you are timing sex wrong and never having it during your fertile period and you have no problems at all! Not everyone ovulates on or near day 14. Or you might find other problems through charting - an insufficient luteal phase, or repeated very early miscarriages, or something else that you can take to a doctor and save time and money.

    Also, I think it really sucks that in the US you need money to see a doctor, but if you don't have money to see a doctor, what are you going to do if you get pregnant regarding your pre-natal care, childbirth, and health care for baby after? Not to mention all the other expenses that come with a baby.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    I mean I haven't tried but my boyfriend ejaculates in me EVERY single time! We have sex 4 times a week roughly it just seems as though in those years I would have eventually had sex on a day I was ovulating ...


    NaturallySade
  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    I mean I don't have money to spend just to see if I can have a baby now. When the time comes I will be fine for a fact . I work my boyfriend works my family has money I just don't want to spend the money as of NPR . I did a bit of research and it seems pricy to see if im fertile or not


    NaturallySade
  • SpiderSpider Posts: 3,380Registered Users
    Men can have fertility problems too


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  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    Yes I know


    NaturallySade
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Spider wrote: »
    Men can have fertility problems too


    Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk

    Good point, and a male sperm analysis is not that complicated and probably a lot cheaper than female procedures. I'd send him to get that done before worrying about myself.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Yep, tho most/many men don't want to think they could be the one preventing conception. Everyone always wants to look at the woman, ya know?
    Hopefully he will man up and consider that, as well...g/l!
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    ...which brings up another thought. OP, have you actually told your boyfriend you're not on the pill and are actively trying to conceive? Does he want to have children? Does he want a pregnancy now? You two are not married - if you do get pregnant, do you want marriage at some point? Do you want him to be involved in the kid's life? Have you two discussed all of this or are you just hoping for an "oops" pregnancy and everything will fall into place?

    I agree that if you have had unprotected sex 4 times a week for a year or more, there may be a problem - with you, him or both, and if he is on board with you about wanting a pregnancy then he should be willing to get tested.

    eta: I don't really understand "not trying to get pregnant but not minding if you do either" and then having unprotected sex 4 times a week. You and your boyfriend should decide - do you want to get pregnant or not? Your actions - and your partner's - indicate actively trying for a baby. In fact, a lot of doctors will tell people trying for a baby to have unprotected sex every 2-3 days continuously for a few months, which is exactly what you're doing. I don't get people doing this and then saying they got pregnant "accidentally." This is exactly how babies are made and if you're both not on board then you should be using protection.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    i sort of think if you're passive about pregnancy that could be a factor. i have a friend that had medical issues (fibroids) and she never got pregnant in 7+ years of no birth control. sidenote, she got preggie in her mid 20's but terminated. anyway, my friend didn't get pregnant on iui and on one round of ivf. then, miraculously one day when she wasn't worrying about it she got pregnant. she's always wanted a baby. just saying, even with a medical condition (like fibroids) you can often get pregnant. similarly even when you get special help if it's not the time or you're not mentally/physically ready it won't happen. my friend who is an ob/gyn at a top hospital in the country understands the biology of this very well has long said a woman's emotional state is a big factor in conceiving.

    curious, how old are you? do you have any known medical issues like fibroids?
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  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    Point blank I wouldn't be having a baby with just a boyfriend I didn't care about. Like I said before I want to know that I can get pregnant and if it were to happen at this point in my life I wouldnt mind. I have unprotected sex with only him we hav sex quite a bit . We are getting married and he will be there . And yes he is going to get tested as well to mak sure his sperm count is where it needs to be. I am 21.


    NaturallySade
  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    And no I don't have any medical issues that I am aware of. I go to the gyno regularly as well


    NaturallySade
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Point blank I wouldn't be having a baby with just a boyfriend I didn't care about. Like I said before I want to know that I can get pregnant and if it were to happen at this point in my life I wouldnt mind. I have unprotected sex with only him we hav sex quite a bit . We are getting married and he will be there . And yes he is going to get tested as well to mak sure his sperm count is where it needs to be. I am 21.


    NaturallySade


    I'm curious then, if you're only 21 and plan to get married but haven't yet, why the rush to have a baby now? And you haven't been using birth control since you were 18 or 19? You wanted a baby THEN?

    For the record, I don't think I was fully fertile until I was about 20 - it took that long for my cycles to somewhat regulate themselves.

    And to each their own, but I HIGHLY recommend getting a plan for your life somewhat in order before you plan to have a baby, and 21 is VERY young to have done that.

    To me, one of the advantages of marrying young is that you can take some time to just be a married couple and get used to sharing your life with someone and do the things you can't do with children without having to rush into trying for a baby, which is what happens with some couples who want children but don't marry until they are 40. Plus you can save money, gain seniority at work etc. in preparation for the expenses of a child.

    These are questions only you can answer - you don't have to answer me now on this thread, but I would encourage you to think this through on your own and in talking with your boyfriend.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    well good luck to you. i hope you weren't offended by anything i said. i'm sure you will conceive.
    a dreamy pisces :fish:
    please recycle, it matters...
    i change lives...through fitness
    i'm more relaxed being natural
  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    No problem lovemylocks I was fine thanks for the advice!


    NaturallySade
  • SpiderSpider Posts: 3,380Registered Users
    Amneris makes some excellent points. Another thing is when you plan to get pregnant, you're more likely to eat better, get on pre-natal vitamins ( good to start before conception) and watch alcohol , smoking & meds.

    A child is a huge, life changing responsibility. Sometimes there are " surprises" ( cough, cough) but the more prepared and educated one is the better. Good luck to you ;)


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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    OP, you never know. I had LOTS of unprotected sex and no birth control (stupid, stupid idea) from the time I was 18 to 23 on a regular basis and never got pregnant. Like you, I just figured I couldn't get pregnant. And then it happened. It took a year to concieve our 2nd daughter and that was with charting. I've been sexually active for 10 yrs, never used birth control, never tried not to get pregnant, and "only" have 2 kids. So you never know. If you're not 100% ready to have children, consider yourself lucky thus far but take measures to prevent pregnancy.

    Blame it on the cell phone...
  • NaturalBeauty79NaturalBeauty79 Posts: 256Registered Users
    Lol thanks for that. My boyfriend and I have decided to go ahead and try now. It's what we want. So I'm going to see how this all goes


    NaturallySade
  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Posts: 2,551Registered Users
    Long story short I haven't been trying to get prego but I wouldn't mind if I was either. For 2 1/2 years I haven't used condoms .... I use to b on birth control . But stopped. Im just very depressed and don't have money to go to the doctor right now.


    NaturallySade

    Have you thought about the fact that if you don't have the money for a doctor you don't have the money to raise a child?
  • blissdropsblissdrops Banned Posts: 216Banned Users
    Long story short I haven't been trying to get prego but I wouldn't mind if I was either. For 2 1/2 years I haven't used condoms .... I use to b on birth control . But stopped. Im just very depressed and don't have money to go to the doctor right now.


    NaturallySade

    How long have you been off birth control? It doesn't sound like you've even been trying yet. You have to try for at least a year or more before you should begin worrying about whether or not you can conceive.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    sdc wrote: »
    Long story short I haven't been trying to get prego but I wouldn't mind if I was either. For 2 1/2 years I haven't used condoms .... I use to b on birth control . But stopped. Im just very depressed and don't have money to go to the doctor right now.


    NaturallySade

    Have you thought about the fact that if you don't have the money for a doctor you don't have the money to raise a child?
    Yeah, kids are expensive as hell.
    Maybe there is a reason you can't get pg right now, ya know? Not meant to be a jerk response, just something to think about. I know it's cliche, tho I do believe everything happens for a reason and comes in its own time...g/l
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    Ya, I'm thinking that, you're 21? I think there's a reason you can't get pregnant. The universe is giving you a pass.

    It's just too young to be settling down and starting a family. I know you FEEL sure, but it's probably not the right decision.


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