I don't think I wanna be a "curly" anymore

curlyecurlye Posts: 86Registered Users
I got my hair cut the other day. I have been having some horrible hair days lately with my curly hair. I have spent too much money on that one hair product to make my curly hair look nice. I just never really happened. I got my hair cut and it was styled straight, and I looked like a new woman. I liked it so much better. I think I want to start straightening again. My hair actually looked nice.

Has anyone else become a straighty again after trying to embrace their curls? I feel kinda like I'm betraying my curls, but I really like it better straight. Anyone else gone through this?
Wavy, some ringlets but not too much spring factor, long.


  • lovemycurls123lovemycurls123 Posts: 17Registered Users
    i feel exactly the same way at times...i am back to straightening my hair twice a month so it will be straight for like a week (i go to a dominican salon it last longer than me doing it myself) curly the next just so i dont have heat stress on my hair...but after a while i spend way to much on products so i up keep on oils and stuff but im more concerned about healthy than curly...being curly i had a lot of split ends
    "rest assured all things will be okay...pray and give thanks daily...he will never leave you nor forsake you...in his arms you are blessed and at peace...so even when times are rough sleep quietly pray and be strong things will work out"

    my hair has been through a lot of bad cuts and a lot of heat damage due to the desert but in two years time(when the cutting began) i am from ear length to bsb and still growing with two sl cuts last year god is good
  • FabledBeautyFabledBeauty Posts: 145Registered Users
    The going can get tough.. but the tough gotta get going..Dont give up just yet and I say this because I went natural.. permed 6 months later and regretted it for a few years before I decided to go back to natural. I cant even express how mad I was at myself the ENTIRE time..

    Before you go back to a decision that might take some long months to reverse.. be patient.. there are so many resources... myself.. im a broke college student who had to do things the economical way, and I get compliments alllll the time... I took time and practiced and learned what did and didnt work for me hair on a budget and the techniques to learn what I needed to learn. I had some rough days.. let me tell you, in this DC humidity that made me discouraged but its ok, part of the process. You dont need 20 dollar tubes of curl cream or anything like that at all.. alot of things that are great can be made or concocted at home...

    Stay strong.. but in the end its your hair and you have to do what is best for you
    Getting there slowly but surely!

    Natural Since the Beginning of January 2011!:headbang:
    Current: Full Collar Bone
    Texture: 3B/C & 4A
    Goal: APL by New Years 2013 :afro:

    See my Natural Journey on Fotki: www.fotki.com/fabledbeauty

    Current Favs<3 Taaliah Waajid Curly Curl Cream, Vegetable Glycerin and Pure Argan Oil!!!
  • Aerogirl530Aerogirl530 Posts: 135Registered Users
    I made the mistake once i totally regreted it, all i wanted was straight hair for a few days and a few days turned into being relaxed for 2 years !!! i try to stay away from flat irons, because i do it once then i keep doing it, i'm transitioning now, but i haven't flat ironed since june !! i'm soo proud of myself, so please don't do it, with curly hair u have variety and versatility, with perms/relaxers, you can do the same, but it would be way harder, your not always gonna like straight hair so i strongly advise you not to do it, but again its your choice, hope i helped ! :)
  • SusieSuzeSusieSuze Posts: 524Registered Users
    I get frustrated often as my hair will sometimes be way too curly and I don't care for how it looks.

    Since I hennaed my hair last week, the curl has loosened a little and I'm really liking it. It's super shiny and feels so healthy. Maybe a little looser curl might be a good option before you switch back? Sometimes a small change can feel a lot better.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Can you try a roller set? That's what I do when I get frustrated with my curls, but still don't want to damage them.

    Let us know how you are doing. I know how you feel about "betraying" your curls, but sometimes our curls betray us! (Especially in certain types of weather).
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • McfrizzyMcfrizzy Posts: 406Registered Users
    honesly i know ill be hounded for this but some people werent meant to be curly n i dont mean they were born straight no well there is a girl i knew for like 5 years and her hair was curly but not 3b curls and she straightened it (it looked gorgeous straight) now i see her with straight hair everyday which i believe is because she got it relaxed it looks great what im trying to say is if you do take care of your hair really good (deep treat every week and so on) you can be both i mean michelle obama and china anne mcclain have relxed hair and its great you just need good care
    Lo-poo:organix Shea butter shampoo
    Co-wash: suave coconut
    Rinse out:GFTN/GVP conditioning balm
    Leave in: GF daily care spray leave in
    Serum-like product: still need one
    Gel:LA looks sport gel/ HESMU,GFPC
    Oils: olive, coconut

    I think I'm normal-overly porous, medium-thick hair(although I see fine hair too), love protein
  • InimitableInimitable Posts: 148Registered Users
    At the end of the day, it is your hair and you have to be comfortable in it, curly or not.
    BC'd July 1, 2011:love10:
    Bella is dense, thick, with low porosity

    Sporadic Rants in Blog Form
  • dassarassadassarassa Posts: 13Registered Users
    I feel like this alot too. But the only reason we all thing our hair looks "bad" with curls (besides the frizz) is that is what all the media and magazines are saying! They "brainwash" us into thinking that straight hair is better and hotter... but really it's just our society. I mean have you looked at 80's hair? Each curl of yours is individual and beautiful in its own way. i mean, how cooll is it that your hair twists on its own?!? like helllooo...
    Anyways, It's a challenge, but when you find the right products or regimen that works for you you'll see how beautiful your hair can be. And all those straightees will be sooo jealous!!!
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    But the only reason we all thing our hair looks "bad" with curls (besides the frizz) is that is what all the media and magazines are saying!

    I don't even think it's all the media. At this point in time, straight hair seems to be mostly pushed by MS and HS girls (and media directly primarily to this audience), and people who want to sell lots of hair products. For some reason talking heads on the news seem stuck in this style also. It's the job of the advertising media to make us dissatisfied with what comes naturally because if we hate it, we'll spend as much money as we think we can in order to change it.

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • princesspieprincesspie Posts: 94Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It's the job of the advertising media to make us dissatisfied with what comes naturally because if we hate it, we'll spend as much money as we think we can in order to change it.

    I totally agree! It's all about making you want to use a tanning lotion if you're "too light", a fairness cream if you're "too dark", curling irons if you're hair is "too straight", straighteners if your hair is "too curly" and on it goes. :protest:

    If you know how to rock what you have been given naturally, great, if you don't, I think you should do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
    Hair Type: Fine, 3a
    Cond/LI: MOP Mixed Greens
    Styler: IGA Gel
    Oil: Coconut
    Overall: Just likes a bit of TLC


  • curlyecurlye Posts: 86Registered Users
    Thanks for all the responses! It's nice to get different perspectives. I know one reason my curls don't look so hot is because of my extremely hard water. I got a shampoo formulated to help with removing the minerals from Sally's. I can't really do complete CG because of this.

    I have been back and forth between straight and curly. I loosen my curls some days by putting them in a scrunchy and letting them dry. That looks a little better than when I try to just let them plain air dry. I've done deep treatments, an Aphogee treatment, and used the hard water shampoo. I have a lot of layers and I have very fine hair. I am happiest when it looks straight halfway down and then waves/curls the rest of the way.

    I know each one of us has different curls and look gorgeous in our own ways. Still struggling with embracing these curls and have hit the flat iron with tons of protectant a few times. I don't really see my hair looking any worse than when I was experimenting with all the expensive creams and gels. They really did nothing for me.

    UGH, so really still in limbo as to what I'm happy and content with. I will say that I had several people tell me I looked 10 years younger with straight hair....:sad3::laughing2:
    Wavy, some ringlets but not too much spring factor, long.
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If straightening hair is what you want to do, please don't think that you need to wear it curly for us. It's your hair.

    I just want to dispel some misinformation you seem to have picked up. You do not need to use a special shampoo to remove minerals from hard water, as opposed to co-washing.

    Our water is very hard, but the EDTA in the conditioners (VO5 Herbal Escapes or Suave Naturals) that I use for co-washing has prevented problems for me. In the three years that I've been CG, I've never had a problem with mineral deposits. Prior to going CG, I did, but not since.

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • harmonydharmonyd Posts: 8Registered Users
    I understand completely because I got my first straightening treatment at age 26 and fell in love with it. My family missed my curly hair but I felt so much more glamorous and pretty.

    But now ... it's been 2 years and my hair got limp, flat and frayed. It wouldn't hold even gentle waves. It was expensive to keep up the straightening and each time I straightened, the ends got more damaged. Plus, I still had to flat-iron to make it look decent.

    To be honest, if I could choose between my 3b/4a hair or loose beach waves, and have them be equally healthy and inexpensive... I would choose the waves. But that isn't one of the choices God gave me. Chemically changing my hair is expensive, requires constant maintenance, and damages my hair. So I'm going back to natural and I'm going to try to take the best care of it I possibly can and keep it as healthy as possible so that hopefully I can grow it longer and control the frizz. I just know that once you straighten, it's harder to care for your natural hair if you ever want to go back.

    Ultimately its your hair and it's ONLY hair :) Do what makes you happiest long-term :) Just think it through because it isn't reversible.

    PS> Some people will always think you look younger or prettier with curly and some with straight. Don't let others' opinions decide for you, because everyone has a different opinion.
  • CraftyKellCraftyKell Posts: 78Registered Users
    I straightened my hair via rollerset TODAY because I needed a change. And yes, I like my hair better straight. That's just the way I am. I will never relax my hair again, but I will not force myself to wear one style all the time. That's boring. I don't think EITHER of us is betraying our hair by straightening it. We are embracing the diverse nature of our hair.
    Hi, I'm Crafty! Howdy, howdy, howdy!

    Crafty Kell

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  • rovergirlrovergirl Posts: 22Registered Users
    Ladies that use a roller set to loosen/straighten with - what kind of rollers are you talking about?

    The huge 'velcro' type that you just put your hair around and clip in? (and if those are what you are talking about - how do you use them - put them in your hair when it's really wet? just damp? how long do you leave it up in the rollers???)

    Surely not hot rollers....

    As I sit here I've got probably 20+ clips in my tight 3b/corkicelli hair to weigh it down and get it more wavy than curly. I get tired of clipping all the time but I like my hair more wavy than curly.

    I like this thread - it's not about not liking my curls or hating my hair or any of that - but dang it - I like some variety in the way I fix my hair!!
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    When I do a roller set I use the old fashioned mesh rollers or plastic rollers but I always need to clip both types usually with bobby pins. Not great because I think it might tear a few hairs, so I'm planning to just using pincurl clips the next time I roller set, which is today!

    I rollerset quite damp with some sort of setting lotion. A little bit of one of the liquidy type gels works fine or Curlisto Structura Lotion.

    There are 2 advantages to wearing my hair straight after a roller set: it lasts much longer than wearing it curly. When I wear it curly, it's miraculous if I get 2nd day hair, so there's a huge time investment in having to wet it again the 2nd day and start all over again. Also, when it's straight, I can wear hats without destroying the curl, especially in winter.

    That said, I'll see if I can get my roller set to look as well as my curly hair does on the first day.

    I like this thread!
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • AimeeAimee Banned Posts: 17Banned Users
    I understand. But a good temporary fix that would allow you to go straight or curly would be using a flat iron. A GREAT one that I use is the u-smooth. It heats all the way up to 450 degrees so it can flatten out the curliest hair. The great thing is, you can flat iron it one day, then go back to curly the next if you want!

    Check out this curly girl's transformation:

    u-Smooth Flat Iron for Hair: Gallery and Before and After Pictures
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    That's pretty fantastic. But I worry about heat damage. What do you think?
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • AimeeAimee Banned Posts: 17Banned Users
    Well the u-smooth has a digital temperature control on it, so you can set it lower according to your hair type to avoid damage. Also, I use a heat protectant before straightening. I like Young.Again by Kevin Murphy. It protects your hair and makes it super smooth and shiny!
  • curlyecurlye Posts: 86Registered Users
    Me again :flower:

    So...after reading all of your replies. I think the one thing that stands out the most for me is having the variety. For me, it doesn't matter if I scrunch or plop or air dry or diffuse, use cheap gel or expensive cream, my hair pretty much looks the same.

    So on a positive note, I'm still embracing my curls by wearing them on some days and still have the versatility to straighten on days that I choose. I'm glad to not be the only one that feels like that. I'm not bashing my curls or any curls, just want variety.

    And I wanted to add I like the positivity here. The comment about not worrying what others think was a good reminder. Yes, it's nice to get compliments, but ultimately the opinion that should matter the most is right here (whether I chose to be curly or straight on any given day) ;-)
    Wavy, some ringlets but not too much spring factor, long.
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think your concern about heat damage is justified.

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Well, I roller set my hair yesterday.

    I actually think the curly look on the first day is better - more youthful and fun looking. The rollerset look on me is more "mature" looking which I don't like.

    But today (2nd day) is wonderful because I have the freedom to do nothing with my hair! If I had done curly, I would have to do it all over again. I never get good 2nd day hair. Now, having done a rollerset, I won't have to spend time messing with it today and tomorrow and maybe even the day after.

    I hate having to screw around with my hair every morning. I just don't have time! So I like the option of rollersetting even though I prefer the curly look on day 1.

    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • AimeeAimee Banned Posts: 17Banned Users
    Here's a chart to see where to set your iron: Hairstyle and Flat Iron Tips and Tools: Setting Your Straightener to the Right Temperature

    Hope this helps!
  • juleemangojuleemango Posts: 14Registered Users
    I highly recommend getting braids or a weave until you make up your mind. That is the best way to grow out natural hair & change up your look. I could never see myself getting a relaxer-- to many options for that to be your first alternative. Good luck!
    Brooklyn based, Jamaican brown girl

    Big Chop: Sat, Nov 21st 2009
    Prior to my big chop, I had relaxed hair for the past 15 years

    I couldn't survive without my staples: Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Milk, Oyin Burnt Sugar, Oyin Frank Juice , Giovanni's Tea Tree Shampoo & Conditioner , Shea Butter+ Almond Oil+ EVOO Concoction, Jane Carter's Nourish & Shine, Jamaican Castor Oil, Coconut Oil & my Satin Cap :)

    My Fotki page :
  • starlightstarbrightstarlightstarbright Posts: 69Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Natural hair is all about variety. Don't feel that you have to justify your wanting to straighten your hair. That's your personal decision. Just as if a natural chooses to wear a twist out or braidout. That's their decision. I have a hard understanding naturals who try to influence or tell another to stay away from heat. What does not work for your hair may work for another. Its important to realize that even though we all may be natural it does not mean that everything any natural does will be the same. I find it pretty reaching to suggest to another natural not to straighten her hair because it will lead to her wanting to relax. That may be true for You but not for other naturals. I for one have straightened my hair in the past on a regular basis and had absolutely no desire ever to want to relax. So ladies please do what works for you.

    Sent from my MB502 using CurlTalk App
    Hair Type 4a/4b

  • curlyecurlye Posts: 86Registered Users
    I found another way to "embrace" my curls. I started using a clampless curling iron, namely the Remington T-Studio. I use it to reshape my curls, and I absolutely love it. Is it heat? Yes. Do I care? I'm a bit concerned, but I amped up my deep-conditioning routine, and nothing seems to be wrong with my hair.

    It is ultimately about loving the hair we were blessed with and curling it and coloring it and straightening it--or not to our own preference. :thumbleft:
    Wavy, some ringlets but not too much spring factor, long.
  • PrettyGirlRockPrettyGirlRock Posts: 31Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree with you. I have had naturally curly hair since before it was "cool" to have curly hair. I still do not like to wear it in its natural state though because every product and trick I have tried seems to fail me. I feel betrayed once again by what God gave me. So I recently lightened it to a caramel shade and I frequently flat iron, or roller set, or use my curl formers to loosen my curls. Its not about what others think or feel, because this is me and my hair. Its healthy, it grows very fast and strong, and I feel gorgeous. What more can a girl ask for?

    Sent from my DROID X2 using CurlTalk App
  • PrettyGirlRockPrettyGirlRock Posts: 31Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I just thought I'd add that no matter how much I straighten with heat, my curls always come back just as strong. To combat heat damage I always use olive oil while my hair is wet (I use a drop the size of a quarter) then I blow dry, and then once its dry (I use a drop the size of a nickle). I keep a bottle in my bathroom and as long as its straight I use a few drops at night before I put it in a messy bun for sleeping. I also think if your hair is already very damaged using heat will compound the amount damage sustained. But my hair is very strong and its resilience is something I love about it. I thank God for me and my daughters hair because we both have very strong hair. Hers is to her butt when stretched but shoulder length when worn curly. I do not straighten hers because she loves it big and curly as she says. LOL. DIVA IN TRAINING! One last thought, I think the use of all natural oils helps protect hair from all sorts of damage I versus the use of commercial products.

    Sent from my DROID X2 using CurlTalk App
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I've been back and forth about if I want my hair to be curly/kinky or straight. I started trying out different hairstyles and began to enjoy my hair more. I enjoy the versatility I have with my hair.
  • KurlyPrincessKurlyPrincess Posts: 1,847Registered Users
    I think versatility is great! I still wear my hair straight about 5 days a month. And by the time those 5 days are up, I'm ready to get back to my unpredictable, crazy curls! : )
    <3 Our love is like the wind; I can't see it. But I can feel it. <3

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