CurlTalk

I don't get this

I visited my friend for New Year's Eve. As I was getting ready to leave she handed me a crumpled shirt saying it would look better on me. My friend is a good deal larger than I am, but I thought maybe someone has gotten her a way-too-small shirt for Christmas so this one would just be a little large on me. I forgot about the shirt, then last night my friend asked me if I'd tried it on. I got the shirt out of my bag and looked at the size. It was a 16! I wear either small or extra small in shirts. What's more is the shirt didn't seem like it had been washed since she last wore it because it was rumpled and smelled heavily of perfume. Then after I told my friend the shirt was way too big she asked if I was going to wear it!

I don't understand. Why would my friend give me one of her shirts when she knows we wear totally different sizes? I think she was trying to be nice, but in a way I also think it's rude because the shirt obviously wouldn't fit me (and I'm not the type of girl who likes oversized shirts as my boyfriend suggested.... for some reason he thinks women adore huge shirts) and she was trying to unload something she didn't want on me. I know one should be gracious in accepting items from someone but this is the second time she's done this and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I am almost tempted to give her one of my shirts that I don't want but I know that would just be childish and nasty.

So has this ever happened to any of you?
2C/3A -- wurly!

Comments

  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    No, it's never happened to me.

    I'm trying to understand what's bothering you. Her giving you a used item? Her giving you something that doesn't fit?

    I would just say thanks and leave it at that. She's probably one of those people who cannot bring herself to throw stuff away. Yes, it's weird that she didn't even bother to wash it. Is she eccentric in some other ways?
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    No, that's never happened to me.

    I would just accept the gift, and then either give it away, or get rid of it.

    You have told her that you don't plan to wear it...so...I think that I might tell her that it's too big for you, you don't plan on wearing it, would she like it back? Or is there another friend that might like it instead?
    :rambo:
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    I visited my friend for New Year's Eve. As I was getting ready to leave she handed me a crumpled shirt saying it would look better on me. My friend is a good deal larger than I am, but I thought maybe someone has gotten her a way-too-small shirt for Christmas so this one would just be a little large on me. I forgot about the shirt, then last night my friend asked me if I'd tried it on. I got the shirt out of my bag and looked at the size. It was a 16! I wear either small or extra small in shirts. What's more is the shirt didn't seem like it had been washed since she last wore it because it was rumpled and smelled heavily of perfume. Then after I told my friend the shirt was way too big she asked if I was going to wear it!

    I don't understand. Why would my friend give me one of her shirts when she knows we wear totally different sizes? I think she was trying to be nice, but in a way I also think it's rude because the shirt obviously wouldn't fit me (and I'm not the type of girl who likes oversized shirts as my boyfriend suggested.... for some reason he thinks women adore huge shirts) and she was trying to unload something she didn't want on me. I know one should be gracious in accepting items from someone but this is the second time she's done this and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I am almost tempted to give her one of my shirts that I don't want but I know that would just be childish and nasty.

    So has this ever happened to any of you?

    It is kind of weird that she'd think a size 16 would fit you if you normally wear a size small. That's at least 4-5 sizes bigger than your normal size.

    And it seems weird that she asked you if it fit. Duh!!!

    Was this a Tee shirt or a blouse?

    It's very weird. I guess you could just say thanks and forget about it...or you could ask her about it. Of course she might get upset if you word your question in the wrong way.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    I probably will try to give it to someone else or put it in the Salvation Army bin. I just don't know why she chose me to give it to because I'm so much smaller than she is. Obviously the shirt would not fit me. She could have put it in Salvation Army/Goodwill as easily as I can. I feel like she's taken her unwanted shirt and made it my problem because while she didn't want to throw it out she didn't want to put in much effort, either.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    Was she inebriated at the time? :wink:
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    I visited my friend for New Year's Eve. As I was getting ready to leave she handed me a crumpled shirt saying it would look better on me. My friend is a good deal larger than I am, but I thought maybe someone has gotten her a way-too-small shirt for Christmas so this one would just be a little large on me. I forgot about the shirt, then last night my friend asked me if I'd tried it on. I got the shirt out of my bag and looked at the size. It was a 16! I wear either small or extra small in shirts. What's more is the shirt didn't seem like it had been washed since she last wore it because it was rumpled and smelled heavily of perfume. Then after I told my friend the shirt was way too big she asked if I was going to wear it!

    I don't understand. Why would my friend give me one of her shirts when she knows we wear totally different sizes? I think she was trying to be nice, but in a way I also think it's rude because the shirt obviously wouldn't fit me (and I'm not the type of girl who likes oversized shirts as my boyfriend suggested.... for some reason he thinks women adore huge shirts) and she was trying to unload something she didn't want on me. I know one should be gracious in accepting items from someone but this is the second time she's done this and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I am almost tempted to give her one of my shirts that I don't want but I know that would just be childish and nasty.

    So has this ever happened to any of you?

    It is kind of weird that she'd think a size 16 would fit you if you normally wear a size small. That's at least 4-5 sizes bigger than your normal size.

    And it seems weird that she asked you if it fit. Duh!!!

    Was this a Tee shirt or a blouse?

    It's very weird. I guess you could just say thanks and forget about it...or you could ask her about it. Of course she might get upset if you word your question in the wrong way.

    It was a plaid button-down shirt.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    SuZen wrote:
    Was she inebriated at the time? :wink:

    Haha! No. This was on New Year's Day, long after we were done drinking.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • ScarletScarlet Posts: 3,125Registered Users
    I visited my friend for New Year's Eve. As I was getting ready to leave she handed me a crumpled shirt saying it would look better on me. My friend is a good deal larger than I am, but I thought maybe someone has gotten her a way-too-small shirt for Christmas so this one would just be a little large on me. I forgot about the shirt, then last night my friend asked me if I'd tried it on. I got the shirt out of my bag and looked at the size. It was a 16! I wear either small or extra small in shirts. What's more is the shirt didn't seem like it had been washed since she last wore it because it was rumpled and smelled heavily of perfume. Then after I told my friend the shirt was way too big she asked if I was going to wear it!

    I don't understand. Why would my friend give me one of her shirts when she knows we wear totally different sizes? I think she was trying to be nice, but in a way I also think it's rude because the shirt obviously wouldn't fit me (and I'm not the type of girl who likes oversized shirts as my boyfriend suggested.... for some reason he thinks women adore huge shirts) and she was trying to unload something she didn't want on me. I know one should be gracious in accepting items from someone but this is the second time she's done this and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I am almost tempted to give her one of my shirts that I don't want but I know that would just be childish and nasty.

    So has this ever happened to any of you?

    It is kind of weird that she'd think a size 16 would fit you if you normally wear a size small. That's at least 4-5 sizes bigger than your normal size.

    And it seems weird that she asked you if it fit. Duh!!!

    Was this a Tee shirt or a blouse?

    It's very weird. I guess you could just say thanks and forget about it...or you could ask her about it. Of course she might get upset if you word your question in the wrong way.

    It was a plaid button-down shirt.

    Good lord, this makes it even worse. I would just tell her the truth - it was too big.
    The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics - Thomas Sowell
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    Scarlet wrote:
    I visited my friend for New Year's Eve. As I was getting ready to leave she handed me a crumpled shirt saying it would look better on me. My friend is a good deal larger than I am, but I thought maybe someone has gotten her a way-too-small shirt for Christmas so this one would just be a little large on me. I forgot about the shirt, then last night my friend asked me if I'd tried it on. I got the shirt out of my bag and looked at the size. It was a 16! I wear either small or extra small in shirts. What's more is the shirt didn't seem like it had been washed since she last wore it because it was rumpled and smelled heavily of perfume. Then after I told my friend the shirt was way too big she asked if I was going to wear it!

    I don't understand. Why would my friend give me one of her shirts when she knows we wear totally different sizes? I think she was trying to be nice, but in a way I also think it's rude because the shirt obviously wouldn't fit me (and I'm not the type of girl who likes oversized shirts as my boyfriend suggested.... for some reason he thinks women adore huge shirts) and she was trying to unload something she didn't want on me. I know one should be gracious in accepting items from someone but this is the second time she's done this and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I am almost tempted to give her one of my shirts that I don't want but I know that would just be childish and nasty.

    So has this ever happened to any of you?

    It is kind of weird that she'd think a size 16 would fit you if you normally wear a size small. That's at least 4-5 sizes bigger than your normal size.

    And it seems weird that she asked you if it fit. Duh!!!

    Was this a Tee shirt or a blouse?

    It's very weird. I guess you could just say thanks and forget about it...or you could ask her about it. Of course she might get upset if you word your question in the wrong way.

    It was a plaid button-down shirt.

    Good lord, this makes it even worse. I would just tell her the truth - it was too big.

    Yes, I did tell her. I hope this is the last time it happens.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    Has it happened before with this friend?

    To me, it just sounds like she didn't know what to do with it...perhaps someone gave it to her as a gift and she wanted to get rid of it?
    :rambo:
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    M2LR & Co. wrote:
    Has it happened before with this friend?

    To me, it just sounds like she didn't know what to do with it...perhaps someone gave it to her as a gift and she wanted to get rid of it?

    It happened once before. The first one was a gift that was too small for her, although still too big for me. This one appeared to be one she bought for herself but then didn't like the fit.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • Little Miss Snarky BooyahLittle Miss Snarky Booyah Posts: 452Registered Users
    Is she a LOT bigger than a size 16? If so, maybe smaller to her is just that--smaller. Do you know what I mean? Maybe the shirt was SO small on her that she figured it would only fit someone tiny. I've seen your pictures and you do have a petite figure.

    Another possibility is that she just wanted it out of her house. It sounded like an afterthought, something she handed to you randomly as you were leaving, right? Maybe having it there made her feel badly about her weight and she just wanted it gone.

    If it comes up again, I'd just say thank you again and change the subject. If she pushes to know if it fit you, I'd say something like, "No, it was a weird fit. I can see why you didn't want it."

    Good luck!
    You are an evil biatch, evil. Your life must suck!

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fbooyahlicious.blogspot.com%2F" class="Popup
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    Is she a LOT bigger than a size 16? If so, maybe smaller to her is just that--smaller. Do you know what I mean? Maybe the shirt was SO small on her that she figured it would only fit someone tiny. I've seen your pictures and you do have a petite figure.

    Another possibility is that she just wanted it out of her house. It sounded like an afterthought, something she handed to you randomly as you were leaving, right? Maybe having it there made her feel badly about her weight and she just wanted it gone.

    If it comes up again, I'd just say thank you again and change the subject. If she pushes to know if it fit you, I'd say something like, "No, it was a weird fit. I can see why you didn't want it."

    Good luck!

    I think she is about a 16, maybe 18. I think it was a shirt that was probably the right size, if a little small but the fit was odd, you know what I mean? I did say thanks when she gave it to me but it got awkward when she asked me if I'd tried it on and liked it.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    Well is it at least a nice shirt?
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • x_tigerlilyx_tigerlily Posts: 432Registered Users
    Maybe she upset because your her "skinny friend" and she gave you the shirt out of anger (knowing it wouldn't fit you).
    3C/4A and too long to handle (and afford!)
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    Well is it at least a nice shirt?

    Well, it's plaid and I really don't do plaid. Other than that it's nice enough... it's from H&M and I do like H&M.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    Maybe she upset because your her "skinny friend" and she gave you the shirt out of anger (knowing it wouldn't fit you).

    I didn't really want to think of it that way but that did cross my mind.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • yagottaloveyacurlsyagottaloveyacurls Posts: 5,766Registered Users
    I don't really get what the problem is...
    she gave you a shirt she didn't want.
    you don't want it either.
    Are you seeing more into this than maybe than you really need to?
    I'm just sayin'.... :oops:
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Maybe she upset because your her "skinny friend" and she gave you the shirt out of anger (knowing it wouldn't fit you).

    I didn't really want to think of it that way but that did cross my mind.

    I knew it was a matter of time before the "she's mmmjellis" card was pulled.

    That thought would have never crossed my mind. If that's the way she's expressing her anger about her skinny friend, then she needs to have her head checked. That makes no sense at all. :?
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    I don't really get what the problem is...
    she gave you a shirt she didn't want.
    you don't want it either.
    Are you seeing more into this than maybe than you really need to?
    I'm just sayin'.... :oops:

    Well, not only do I not want it but it should have been obvious to her that I wouldn't be able to wear it. Rather than make the trip to a Goodwill or Salvation Army where the shirt could have been put to good use she pawned it off on me because I happened to be around. It's not really a big problem. I said thank you but expressed that I would not be able to use the shirt. It's not a big problem, I just don't really understand why she ever thought I could have possibly used the shirt. I wouldn't even care so much were this not the second time this has happened.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • katethegreatkatethegreat Posts: 801Registered Users
    This type of thing has kind of happened to me in reverse. I'm not really fat, I'm more "pleasantly plump", like around a size 12. I need to lose, say, 15 pounds or so. Anyway, most of my friends are much thinner than I am, but they genuinely don't seem to realize it. I was talking the other day about how I needed a formal dress for a dance coming up, and my friend, who's probably about a size 6, offered to lend me an old one she thought would look nice. :shock: I wasn't sure if she was making fun of me or something, but it didn't seem like she realized there was no way her dress would fit me. I just politely declined. Maybe, since my weight looks more normal on my frame, she just didn't realize that I'm several sizes larger than her.
    "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us."
    -Marianne Williamson
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    This type of thing has kind of happened to me in reverse. I'm not really fat, I'm more "pleasantly plump", like around a size 12. I need to lose, say, 15 pounds or so. Anyway, most of my friends are much thinner than I am, but they genuinely don't seem to realize it. I was talking the other day about how I needed a formal dress for a dance coming up, and my friend, who's probably about a size 6, offered to lend me an old one she thought would look nice. :shock: I wasn't sure if she was making fun of me or something, but it didn't seem like she realized there was no way her dress would fit me. I just politely declined. Maybe, since my weight looks more normal on my frame, she just didn't realize that I'm several sizes larger than her.


    I doubt she was trying to make fun of you. Maybe she thought it was like a compliment or something, or maybe she feels like she's bigger than she is or that you look smaller than you are.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    I don't know, sometimes it's hard to gauge somebody's size just by looking at them so maybe that part can slide just a bit. But not washing something before giving it away? Ew. That's weird, and icky. Even if you ARE good friends.
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users
    I don't know, sometimes it's hard to gauge somebody's size just by looking at them so maybe that part can slide just a bit. But not washing something before giving it away? Ew. That's weird, and icky. Even if you ARE good friends.

    See, the thing is she has asked me a couple of times what size I wear. Even when she guesses she'll say "You wear a 6 or 8, right?" Granted that's a little bigger than what I wear, but it's a ways off from 16. I hope she did wash the shirt and it, like, picked up scents from her room or something.
    2C/3A -- wurly!