Potty Training

RedCatWaves

I posted something about potty training in an unrelated thread on the non-hair board and got several requests in PM for tips, so I thought I'd post here. I do not have a magic formula, but I have trained 5 kids now.

My latest success is my babysit-boy, who is 2 years 10 months old, and he is a cooperative and engaged child. I basically have been talking to him about it for a few months, talking about big-boy versus baby and how fun it is to be a big boy, and how it's no fun to have stinky pants, and how he should tell me when he needs to potty and I will take him, etc. I take him with me to the bathroom, and talk about toilets and what goes in them. I keep it upbeat, not correcting or discipline-ish. Pottytraining should be fun...otherwise, why would he want to do it? All that information has recently sunk in and he has been asking consistently to go potty. He's been in underwear for a couple of days without accidents. He's continuing his success at home, but, of course, he is not my child, so he may have setbacks that I have no control over. However, I am considering him to be trained when at my house.

If the child is ready, pottytraining really only takes a day or two, maybe three. No more than that. If it takes longer, the child isn't ready and needs to go back to diapers for a while, and try again at a later date. One of my sons trained at 20 months. Another trained at almost-4. It really varies by kid. They have the ultimate control and are quite capable of making your life a living hell, so it's best not to try to force them when they're not ready.

Night-training is a totally different thing, and may or may-not accompany day-training. Sometimes night-training can happen up to a year later.

Butterfly_Curlz

Coincidently I was thinking about starting a potty training thread earlier today but didn't get around to it. I really believe my son is the exception to the rule...he turned 4 in February and its off and on w/him.

I sat down w/him & for 3 days straight had him go every hr, talked about it, watched the elmo potty dvd (that came w/a little elmo w/his own potty) & even went as far as refusing to put a pullup on him so he 'would have to go'. He loved it all & it appeared as though it was a success.

However he absolutely will not go #2 on the potty. He will stop & put a pull up on and sh*t in that before he sits on the potty. Plus he was born w/an underdeveloped throat & he still does not eat solid foods. He still receives toddler formula 6 times a day. Plus he is ALWAYS constipated & this is even after taking miralax every day.

We took him to Kennedy Krieger in bmore the other wk & he is on the waiting list for a 2month long intensive feeding program. All they could suggest was to up his miralax (which doesn't help him at all...so he's uncomfortable w/sh*tting in the toilet anyway & now he's got runny sh*t & is having more accidents now then he ever was! I believe in a 30min period today he messed up 2pairs of shorts & 1 pullup!

It's getting crazy! Now as far as the regular peeing in the potty, sometimes hes spot on & will be running bk & forth all day. However the moment he gets distracted or his favorite show/movie is on he will not leave it to go pee...come to think of it maybe I should just bring the little pottyy bk into the living room for a while...I only moved it out bc I wanted him to get used to 'going to a actual bathroom' bc there won't always be a potty conveniently available every where you go!

Amneris

My son was actually the rare child who was night trained first. He was dry at night before he was 2. I used what sounds like the same method as you for day training and it worked in under a week. I guess he was almost 2.5. I remember I did it over Christmas break from school and by the time we both went back, he was trained. I think he has had 3 accidents ever since then.

wurlacurls

Ok so, Im going to try RCWs technique this wknd, but I have some ?s about pool time. I usually put him in the pool with a swimmy diaper, can I still use the swimmy diaper and then when we are done with the pool switch back to big boy undies? And how about nap time? Do I use a pull up?

Sorry I already asked these question in the life ins for children board, then I found this

TIA



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Jess the Mess

My girl trained at 2 1/2 and was pretty easy. 5 days at home with real panties. Son was harder. 3 1/2 and a nightmare. He wasnt ready when I was. I pushed too hard and we had setbacks. Let them lead you. I learned the hard way. Part of it with my son was that he just wasn't comfortable peeing sitting down. When he was big enough to go in the toilet standing up my uncle showed him how and we were done in 2 days.

Wurl my advice to you, knowing your current situation, is not to push it right now. PM me if you want to talk more about it. It's been 7 years for me and if you want I can lend an ear or give advice.

webjockey

Best wishes to ya all. I'm still playing hide-and-go-poo with the 4 yr old.

Hubby has vastly different ideas to potty training which makes the whole thing very difficult.

Looking forward to when the kid can figure it out in spite of our bad parenting.

Amneris

webjockey wrote: »

Best wishes to ya all. I'm still playing hide-and-go-poo with the 4 yr old.

Hubby has vastly different ideas to potty training which makes the whole thing very difficult.

Looking forward to when the kid can figure it out in spite of our bad parenting.

LOL at "hide and go poo."
Agreed that it is much easier if the parents are on the same page as to the approach to be taken. Good luck - you're not a bad parent!

webjockey

Oh I'm a rockin parent when I'm on my own
So is my husband when he's on his own.

Together - not always.

RedCatWaves

Curious...how far apart can parents be on the parenting issue of pottytraining? What does he want to do that you don't? And vise versa?

webjockey

We've both had our share of yelling, anger, punishment. Hubby's reactions are strong and he's just a yeller.

When I know the kiddo is going to play hideandgopoo I follow him like a hawk all evening. Hubby not so much and then gets pissed off when he does hideandgopoo. Kid gets yelled at, long battle for getting him to clean up, pick up poo. Lots of tantrums etc.

So either I try and get stuff done in the house and risk poo and yellying hubby or I don't get stuff done and do poo watching duty.

Not trying to make excuses, nor am I soliciting solutions. They will fall on deaf ears. It's just how our family operates right now.

inheritedcurls

I'm the same as you Amneris. Chas was night trained first. I was told this is the first indicator of being ready. He was waking up dry before I trained him. He was 2 1/2 and trained in 2 weeks.

Addison rarely has an interest. I tried one day...but it was accident bad...so I stopped. She's not waking up dry...so I'm waiting....although she does lay in bed and slowly wake up...so I'm wondering if she's dry...then when she lets me know she's awake...she's peed in her diaper. She's just now 2 1/2...so I'm hoping in another month...she'll be ready.

Amneris

So webjockey, are you saying that he's wearing underwear and he hides to poop in his pants rather than use the toilet? Does he use the toilet to pee but not poop? How do you know when he is about to poop?

I feel for you - that must be VERY frustrating, and I'd probably be yelling too (or tempted to!)

webjockey

Amneris wrote: »

So webjockey, are you saying that he's wearing underwear and he hides to poop in his pants rather than use the toilet? Does he use the toilet to pee but not poop? How do you know when he is about to poop?

I feel for you - that must be VERY frustrating, and I'd probably be yelling too (or tempted to!)

He'll pee on the toilet - no prob. but poop is either
a. hide to poop take take the poopy underwear and toss the poo in the toilet (I consider this progress)

or

b. hide and poo on the floor and then use a baby wipe to pick up said poo and toss in the toilet.

Frankly, I think we stress him out and has developed performance anxiety. I offer to hold his hand when he goes which I think helps a bit. But I have to catch him. He also gets a small spoonful of nutella after he does it on the toilet, lots of praise etc.

He knows where he's supposed to go but he won't do it.

I have hopes before he turns 18.

wurlacurls

Ok ladies, this is day 1 of big boy undies only. Hes only been home since 1pm bcuz he spent the nt at my MIL. So far he has peed in his undies twice! Both times right after he came running yelling peeeee! Peeeeee! Peeeeee! Then i sit him on the potty n he pees a lil more in there n i make a huge fuss which he loves...he laughs his head off at me while im dancing n singing peepee in the potty! Now he refused 2 put on another pair of undies, so hes booty naked!

...sigh... its goin2 b a long weekend

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Jess the Mess

I have friends who had a lot of luck with the naked at first approach. Good luck!!!

subbrock

Jess the Mess wrote: »

I have friends who had a lot of luck with the naked at first approach. Good luck!!!

That's exactly what I did. M just happened to be naked one day and had to go potty. She told me she had to pee, we ran to the bathroom and that was it. She was almost 2 when that happened. Night potty training is a totally different story. Over 2 yrs later her body still isn't ready for that.

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sarah42

Both my kiddos were trained around age 2.5. Looking back, I can see that DS1 was far less eager to learn and maybe wasn't ready when I decided he was, but I was very persistent because I was home for the summer (from my teaching job) and wanted to get it done. He has had a few accidents since being trained (he's 4.5 now), and has gone through a couple (mercifully) brief periods where he didn't want to go poo on the toilet, but none of that nonsense for quite a long time now. He's very good about taking himself to the bathroom and going on his own, but I do feel like I need to remind him when he's really intent on playing and doesn't want to stop. A chart with stickers helped a lot when he was getting trained, and M&M's or other small candies.

DS2 was so easy to potty train. He'd seen his big brother do it for over a year, and he caught on right away. Of course when we gave him stickers or treats for successes, his big brother wanted to go back to getting treats too, but that was fine with me. I am just glad to be done with diapers and potty training.

geeky

I did a little bit of EC with both kids, not hard core, not anywhere near full time, but I did introduce them both to the potty early on. They both "regressed" and we used diapers for a while (kids not as interested , me having no time to do it) but I still consider it a success because they both trained pretty early and pretty effortlessly at daycare. My son was fully trained at 2.5 and my daughter at 20 months, so my suggestion, if you have an infant is to read about EC and do it, even part time, even half-assed, because they will remember later.

I've had issues with both kids not wanting to poop on the potty. I imagine when you are used to doing it while standing up, the mechanics of it are very different sitting down and it can be quite scary. We got through it eventually.

wurlacurls

The potty training is driving me bananas! Im still keeping him naked n most of the time he does go in the potty, a couple of times hes peed on the floor. But if i put undies on him he will def pee in them n not go 2 the potty! And as hes wetting himself he yells pee! Pee! Driving me crazy! So then back to no undies we go. The worst part is he wont always tell me he has to go, he tries to go by himself. So he will be playing with his brother in his room n head to the bathroom n my oldest will yell marcus made a mess! And when i look in their bathroom hes peed all over the potty n floor (he tries to stand like his brother does, i always make him sit), so at this point im not sure if i shld just give up. Or if this is typical at the beginning Anyone have suggestions? My oldest was potty trained in 2 days at daycare so i didnt have anything 2 do with thay success.

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geeky

wurlacurls, I think all that stufff is pretty common. I had an easy time myself, but if you think about it, we teach our kids one thing about elimination for the first 2-3 years when they are in diapers, then we expect them to start doing the opposite.

Think about it, when they are in diapers they go and it is fine. When they have a diaper off and they start to go we freak out, make a fuss, go "eww eww" and such, so pretty quickly they learn that going while bare-bottomed is not OK. And then suddenly the rules change and they are supposed to go while naked but not while their bottom is covered. It's confusing, especially to young kids. I would bet that your son is struggling with this and that is why he goes as soon as you put undies on.

Another issue with diapers is that they can go on the run, there are no outward signs, so it really teaches kids to not be aware of when they are going. So it's actually good that he yells pee as that shows he is aware of it. Now he's got to learn to stop, go to a special place, etc. That may take some time as again, it is opposite of what he is used to.

I highly recommend the Peter Potty, a little wee urinal for boys. Not cheap but they love standing up to go and as long as you empty the little receptacle often enough it contains boy-mess pretty well.

wurlacurls

Thanks Geeky, Im trying to be patient, but its not easy. This morning when we went to walk the dog he pushed his body up against a tree n peed on it! N looked at me smiling n said pee. I took him back inside and put him on the pot n told him hes a boy not a dog! Dogs pee on trees not boys. He laughed so hard n said nooooo! Shaking his head! Yea, i laughed too, couldnt help it.

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mad scientist

Does anyone have any advice for "on the go" potty training? DD is pretty much potty trained at home - she is small and developmentally behind so we still need to be actively involved in the process because she can't get her pants down and on the toilet by herself. But that's the best we can hope for right now.

The bigger problem is that she completely refuses to have anything to do with toilets outside of the home. I don't blame her - she is super-tiny and industrial toilets are scary and loud. We've tried those portable potty rings but she doesn't like those (they don't seem stable to her).

The whole point of training her was so that she could use the toilet at preschool (with help from her SEA)but I don't see a way of making this happen if she refuses to acknowledge toilets outside of our home.

inheritedcurls

mad scientist...usually the toilets at daycare are not the industrious ones...they are lower to the ground and smaller for little kids. Is this the case at your daughter's school?

Still thinking about your other issue...the big public one's....

geeky

Madscientist, they do make these little go-potties with baggies to line them. I've never tried them and I don't recall the name, maybe Pottette? Can you keep a little potty for her at preschool or is that against regulations? Another option is getting a really sturdy potty ring to keep there, the baby bjorn ones are really nice and solid.

I don't blame her for not wanting to go in public bathrooms, they can be nasty. Both my kids went through this stage where they would ask to go in a public place, take a look at the bathroom and change their minds. Multiple times. My daughter is still sorta there. Fun fun.

Butterfly_Curlz

Has anyone seen the new pullups that come w/this watch (cars theme for boys & princess for girls)?

You set it & it goes off everytime they should go pee. I have tried the every hr thing w/my son however I will be honest and say that btwn me getting caught up in doing day to day house things & my son being distracted by whatever it is at the moment, it doesn't always get done. So I was thinking that maybe he would like the personal responsibility of it & also getting his own cool watch!

Butterfly_Curlz

JaylensMami10 wrote: »

Has anyone seen the new pullups that come w/this watch (cars theme for boys & princess for girls)?

You set it & it goes off everytime they should go pee. I have tried the every hr thing w/my son however I will be honest and say that btwn me getting caught up in doing day to day house things & my son being distracted by whatever it is at the moment, it doesn't always get done. So I was thinking that maybe he would like the personal responsibility of it & also getting his own cool watch!

So I finally went to walmart and purchased the pullups w/the watch as well as some more 'big boy' underwear. My son adores his new watch and everytime the alarm goes off he's sooo excited to run to the bathroom. Even if we are in the middle of something he yells 'uh oh...its time to pee' lol.

I'm soo pleased w/the combo of the watch and the underwear. He has not had one incident yet (knock on wood) & is so on it now!

wurlacurls

Really? Im going to try it! Marcus does ok sometimes, but he still has alot of accidents. More than I would like.

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Butterfly_Curlz

wurlacurls wrote: »

Really? Im going to try it! Marcus does ok sometimes, but he still has alot of accidents. More than I would like.

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Yes! My son LOVES it. He was doing 'just ok' too until I got the watch & underwear combo. I forgot to give him his watch today and he reminded me to put it on. I'm sooo proud rt now! Lol.

Also what I did not know before buying it is that it has multiple alarms. One plays music, another just flashes lights, one vibrates & the last is a recorded message that you can leave. I thought about doing the message but I didn't want to do the embarrassment factor having my child walk around & all of a sudden you hear me saying "get up & go pee"! Lol

sarah42

I love the idea of the watch with an alarm to remind them to go! I still have to remind my 4-year-old because he gets so busy playing and doesn't want to stop. He's worse about that than his 3-year-old brother! Different personalities.

Butterfly_Curlz

sarah42 wrote: »

I love the idea of the watch with an alarm to remind them to go! I still have to remind my 4-year-old because he gets so busy playing and doesn't want to stop. He's worse about that than his 3-year-old brother! Different personalities.

My son is 4 as well and it was the exact same issue. He does fine as long as he's 'not busy'. However let him be playing or doing anything somewhat interesting at all and he doesn't want to leave whatever he's into.

However with the watch he jumps as soon as the alarm goes off. He can be watching movies or playing and he stops and runs and pees as soon as the music starts.

inheritedcurls

Okay, I got the potty watch...it worked for 2 weeks...then quit. Not sure it's the battery or what. Need to check.

RCW...we've been going on potty training for 3 weeks. She's only pooped once on the potty. She's a hide a poop girl. I think she wakes up dry...but is a slow waker...then pees while laying there and waking up. She still isn't prompting us to go potty..I have to remind her or she just pees. Some days we go through with no accident's thanks to prompting but if I forget...we have accidents. Should I just back off..go back to diapers..wait a few months? She'll be 3 in October...never had these issues with my son...so it's all new.

Thoughts? I hate to make it worse by backing off and going back to diapers...but I hate to keep pushing it and making it worse.