ADD?
ninja dog
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My 11 year old niece has just been diagnosed with ADD. Her parents are strongly considering switching her to a less academically rigorous school, as a result. Many of the other students in her class are a year older than she, so she finds herself competing with bigger, more mature students.
She has always seemed very steady and smart. Certainly out of all of the kooky members of my small but eccentric family, she's by far the most normal.
Is this a big deal? I hear about ADD and ADHD and the like, but I have no experience with it. No one who wasn't outright bonkers was considered "off" back when I was her age (including the kid who used to steal my snow boots every g-damned morning in order to get the attention of someone chasing her through the whole effing school before class).
I don't know if they're planning on medicating her. My brother and I have always felt that since our own childhoods were such a mess, we would do our best to see that my niece and nephew had a better time of it, so it makes me sad to realize she's facing a bump in the road.
I know it could be a lot worse, and I'm sorry if this sounds whiney or whingey (sp?). I have no experience as a parent, so feedback from others would be welcome.
TIA
She has always seemed very steady and smart. Certainly out of all of the kooky members of my small but eccentric family, she's by far the most normal.
Is this a big deal? I hear about ADD and ADHD and the like, but I have no experience with it. No one who wasn't outright bonkers was considered "off" back when I was her age (including the kid who used to steal my snow boots every g-damned morning in order to get the attention of someone chasing her through the whole effing school before class).
I don't know if they're planning on medicating her. My brother and I have always felt that since our own childhoods were such a mess, we would do our best to see that my niece and nephew had a better time of it, so it makes me sad to realize she's facing a bump in the road.
I know it could be a lot worse, and I'm sorry if this sounds whiney or whingey (sp?). I have no experience as a parent, so feedback from others would be welcome.
TIA
0
Comments
i have a few close friends and family members with ADHD and the severity ranges and treatments have varied as well. i suspect my daughter has ADHD and since researching the topic of ADHD and ADD i've come to realize that there is a 99% chance that i have an undiagnosed case of ADD. as an adult, i'm not sure if i'm going to do anything about my ADD (medication, therapy) but i do try to implement some of the lifestyle tips for reducing how it effects my daily life.
as far as my own child is concerned, if she is diagnosed with ADHD, my main concern is getting her an IEP. in my opinion, a child's IEP can make or break them.
If she is younger than most classmates have they considered holding her back? There are studies suggesting that it could be beneficial.
I don't think moving her to a less rigorous school is necessarily the answer. There's a lot of things that can be done in the regular classroom. I agree holding her back may be a good answer if she would truly benefit from repeating the material again with students who are her own age. At 11 it can be hard socially and if she's doing fairly well in school being bored in class won't help the ADD at all. I think moving schools really should only be done if she's struggling to keep up in the classroom.
Does the school employ any standards-based grading? If so I would encourage her parents to meet with the teacher(s) to see what standards she's failing to meet rather than having grades tanked due to testing poorly or a bad homework record.
They should def. seek to get an IEP in place. It can help with a lot of things from making sure she has extra time on tests (if they deem it needed) to letting her get up and walk around every so often to refocus.
I really don't want them to medicate her, but it's not my call. I'm just sad about it all. I'm also concerned that her classmates may be a little hard on her, and my protectiveness has kicked in. She's always been mistaken for my daughter, and I feel very strongly toward her. I love her A LOT.
Thank you all for the information. I'm off to look up IED right now.
That was my question as well about the evaluations. Even pediatricians & some 'professionals' in clinics doing medical/psychological evaluations need to get the side eye.
I have degrees in Clinical Psychology, Social Work & Sociology & I have experience working w/young children, teenagers/adults. However because I am relatively young & most 'professionals' don't out right know my background they assume I don't know whats on. This happened recently w/my son & his pediatrician. After the first time she met him we had to come back in for another appt bc he has alot of feeding issues that needed further evaluation.
Anyway I requested a copy of her write up on him bc I had to submitt it to the school as part of his IEP. So I was waiting for her to come in & I was reading through it & she tried to say my son 'had behavioral issues & strange behavior & believed he needed to be evaluated for either ADHD or Pervasive Developmental Disorder'. I was like hold up beyotch! She clearly doesn't know who she has sitting in her office.
So when she came in I gave her the treatment & drilled her a*s on why she thought what she did, I demanded examples,etc. & you know what? When I told her my academic/professional bkground she quickly changed her story. I wanted to know how you as a MD believe you have enough experience to diagnose my child when I w/the background can clearly tell you that my son currently does not nor has he ever met any of the criteria for either of the disorders you are attempting to label him with?! She goes well your rt...he doesn't meet any of the criteria but I just thought it would be a good idea to have him checked anyway.
I said sweethart, I will be damned if you will attempt to give my child a label (that can very well be academically & socially stunting) that you are 1)not qualified to give & 2) that you readily admitt he meets NONE of the diagnostic criteria for! Especially written in a report that has be turned into the school system...now go change it! She pulled out her computer, changed it & I revised it twice before she saved & printed me a new copy. I was like come on now...I have this academic/professional experience & my mom has worked w/children in early child care for 40 yrs. We of all people would be the FIRST to pick up on something...even the slightest thing we perceived as wrong & demand that it be looked into. 'Professional' or not you're not just gonna tell me anything & expect me to run w/it!
Also as a side note I believe ADHD/ADD is an overly diagnosed/medicated disorder. They are quick to label a child as such when they may be better off w/dietary changes, sleep adjustments, or are simply bored in the classroom. I am not saying that your niece does not have it but I am extremely sceptical when I hear about it.
My nephew as well as God child were both diagnosed with it & my nephew seems to be doing well. My brother avoided the medicaton route (he is a Anesthesiologist & is highly concerned about medication) & changed his diet, makes sure he has a set bedtime routine, he is involved in outside activities (soccer & football) & has him in a continous academic program throughout the summer to help him maintain his focus. He is doing quite well.
My God child on the other hand is a different story. He does (well did) excellent in school, gets great grades & even was in an all French school @ 5yrs of age. However sometimes when he is in school he gets distracted by the other kids so he needs to be re-directed to get back on task (however at that age what child pays perfect attention all the time?!). Either way he got stuck w/that label, the teachers then blamed him instead of the other children when 'problems' arose, the teacher moved his desk to the front of the class rt beside hers (as a punishment & not as a 'way to help him'), & now the other kids tease him (one of the kids even approached my best friend when she popped up for a surprise visit & told her 'Josh is bad...he's always getting in trouble'! I was like wtf!). She eventually had to remove him from the school bc his grades/performance declined greatly.
I write all of this to say, I know its not your child but clearly you do care alot. Be a support for them, research things & while they are the parents I'm sure your brother values your opinion, so advise them to get 2nd & third opinions, question things they don't understand until they do understand clearly & don't just believe everything that they are told.
Hope everything works out & please keep us posted.
(Transitioned for 16 & 1/2 months)
Loving:love10:: MC LI Condish, Raw shea butter, Coconut & Grapeseed Oil, SM raw shea butter shampoo,HEHH Conditioner, Braggs ACV & Egg, Mayo & EVOO PT's
I guess I just don't see it in her. She's always been able to concentrate well. Perhaps it's the older kids she's working with?
My guess is that they will change her school. I'm dismayed.
And.....I'm glad they didn't make such judgements when I was a kid. I was bored out of my MIND at school, and rarely followed the curriculum as planned. I'm sure they'd have drugged me senseless.
Although, come to think of it, back then, pretty much all of us kids drugged ourselves senseless..........
Lol. No problem & your very welcome. Not that it matters now but how did she end up in a class with older children in the first place?
Was it because she was doing so well in the first place that they advanced her? If so she may 'have been advanced for her age' but just not ready for that much of a step up or maybe shes just intimidated by being w/older children ( a childs personality{ introverted vs extroverted } really plays a role in their ability to adjust) . Either of which would result in a change in her behavior/academic performance.
Also, you state that she has 'always been able to concentrate well'. Is that outside of school as well as inside of school? Sometime kids concentration or lack thereof in school has more to do w/environmental/adjustment issues rather than something actually going on w/the child themselves...especially if they are able to sit down at home or elsewhere for that matter and stay on task or participate in organized activities.
If she truly is able to focus everywhere else & the lack of inattention is in one specific area (either outside of school but not in & vice versa) then they really ned to take a closer look at that one area and examine what is going on (like being distracted by other children at home or having to do school work in an area where theres a tv on,etc. or in school where theres maybe one child whos constantly interrupting others & its in turn distracting her).
We could go on and on but these are a few things to take into consideration as well.
(Transitioned for 16 & 1/2 months)
Loving:love10:: MC LI Condish, Raw shea butter, Coconut & Grapeseed Oil, SM raw shea butter shampoo,HEHH Conditioner, Braggs ACV & Egg, Mayo & EVOO PT's
I don't understand how this happened re: the diagnosis. I know they're very careful about her education, but it just doesn't seem like the kid I've known could have gone in this direction.
I guess since I'm not with her all the time, I don't have all the details. Still, it really bothers me. Is it weird to admire a child? I've always felt her success in life was assured by her steadiness, her intelligence, and her good attitude. I'm like the Beta version of her --- the one released before all the kinks were worked out (snarky, antsy, sloppy.......you know, all the good stuff).
Sigh.
Lol. Me 2 sometimes. It used to be really bad but after working on an acute mental health unit in a maxium security prison you learn to tune out the screams, profanity & cat calls. If you don't you will NEVER accomplish anything! However at home I still get distracted, especially if I am trying to read something and theres alot of bkground noise. It throws me off & I either have to stop, remove myself or I end up re-reading the same thing like 4times in a row.
Re: the diagnosis, I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind if you expressed your concerns about her care and asked questions because he knows its coming from a place of love. Now when it comes to my son, I'm all for hearing suggestions & taking advice but if someone tries to go to far and TELL me what I should & shouldn't be doing then I start getting a little irritable. Lol. However it does not seem like you would handle the situation that way so I say share. It may actually be comforting to your brother to have someone else to talk to other than his wife whom he may be holding back some of his anxiety from for the sake of not wanting her to worry more.
See & thats the thing to...in situations like this they need to reassure her that this does not make her 'different or strange' from everyone else. Everyone has their own things that make them unique & this is hers...its not a bad thing. The last thing a child needs during a time when they are trying to fit in, make friends, become interested in boys,etc is to be made to feel like they are not like everyone else. However w/all those great qualities you mentioned about her, I am sure she will be absolutely fine! Besides w/a quirky auntie she can't go wrong right?! LOL!
(Transitioned for 16 & 1/2 months)
Loving:love10:: MC LI Condish, Raw shea butter, Coconut & Grapeseed Oil, SM raw shea butter shampoo,HEHH Conditioner, Braggs ACV & Egg, Mayo & EVOO PT's
He knows I'm concerned. He owes me a call, so I will be following up on the matter with him soon.
Thanks again, JM.
No problem. If wanna chat again just pm me.
(Transitioned for 16 & 1/2 months)
Loving:love10:: MC LI Condish, Raw shea butter, Coconut & Grapeseed Oil, SM raw shea butter shampoo,HEHH Conditioner, Braggs ACV & Egg, Mayo & EVOO PT's