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They Just Don't Get It

BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
In an effort to get some professional advice I contacted another hairdresser. Trying to grow my curly gray hair back to shoulder length. Was encouraged by a previous hairdresser to cut it chin length and wedged up in the back. He thought it was more age appropriate at that length. Good hair cut the first time and then much too short every other time. Would like to be able to tie it up again... So the new hairdresser said the only way to maintain hair like mine and to grow it long is to smooth or relax it. I cant win :) Any suggestions?

Comments

  • CurlyminxCurlyminx Posts: 5,581Registered Users
    Hogwash!

    Your stylist just doesn't know about curly hair!

    Be gentle to your hair. Get little (and I'm stressing the little) trims every 6 months or so (unless you notice damage, in which case do it more often).

    But just taking care of it will help grow.

    (...says the girl that chopped all of her hair off in September and is only now starting to notice it growing :oops: )
    tumblr_mk2chrdnQe1qzwi58o1_500.gif
    Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

    Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fcurlymix%2F" class="Popup
    pw: curls

    Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Thanks Curlyminx
    Really ...only every 6 months? I thought I needed a cut every six weeks. That would be great. I think you are right about the hogwash. It is sooooo hard to find a stylist that knows curly hair. Thanks for the advice!
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think what you were told is hogwash, too. If, like Minxy said, you're gentle with it, you can go for far longer than every six weeks between cuts.

    If it feels uncomfortable skipping cuts, work up to the six months rule: first try three months, and if that works, five months, and then six months. You should see a lot of growth in that time.

    Sounds to me like stylist #1 was enforcing his own agenda. That's not okay.

    Good luck, and post pics or add a timeline ---- anything inspiring to you.
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Thanks Ninja...That sounds like great advice. I will go for three months after my next visit. There is such freedom going gray and naturally curly!
    13860d1307154119-they-just-dont-get-dsc01282-jpg
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You're welcome. Your curls are lovely.

    Let it all hang loose, baby!
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Thanks Ninja... just got a suggestion from the Going Gray, Looking Great site. They said that long and curly hair didnt look right. Suggested a a Holly Berry short haircut. Yipes! I dont think so! It did look great on her. Wish I was brave enough but I know my hair and it likes to be long :)
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,210Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    Thanks Ninja... just got a suggestion from the Going Gray, Looking Great site. They said that long and curly hair didnt look right. Suggested a a Holly Berry short haircut. Yipes! I dont think so! It did look great on her. Wish I was brave enough but I know my hair and it likes to be long :)

    that does not take into account the shape of your face!! and, it says worlds about they way they feel about naturally curly hair!

    i just answered your question about how often to cut in another post. to reiterate, 6 weeks is waaayy too often! i think it depends on the tightness of your curl. for me, once every 3 months is the most often i can go. 4 months is even better for me. some of my friends who are happy with their length just go once every 6 months anyway.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Hey rbb....your curls are gorgeous! Will certainly keep that in mind. Have an appt on 6/15 but may only have the stylist check out the layers and make sure the length stays the same. Thanks again!

    that does not take into account the shape of your face!! and, it says worlds about they way they feel about naturally curly hair!

    i just answered your question about how often to cut in another post. to reiterate, 6 weeks is waaayy too often! i think it depends on the tightness of your curl. for me, once every 3 months is the most often i can go. 4 months is even better for me. some of my friends who are happy with their length just go once every 6 months anyway.[/QUOTE]
  • bluesheepbluesheep Posts: 300Registered Users
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    Thanks Ninja... just got a suggestion from the Going Gray, Looking Great site. They said that long and curly hair didnt look right. Suggested a a Holly Berry short haircut. Yipes! I dont think so! It did look great on her. Wish I was brave enough but I know my hair and it likes to be long :)

    That's a bunch of cr@p. I'm so tired of hearing that you shouldn't have long hair after a certain age, or if you do, you must wear it up at all times. Not to mention the obvious prejudice in the advice above. Grrr....

    And your hair is gorgeous! So is yours, rbb. So jealous....
    3b/3a, medium porosity, slightly coarse, high elasticity, high density. CG 2004; mod CG since 2006. CG again since 4/1/11.

    Lowpoo:
    Gudonya Salty Dawg (etsy), SM Moisture Retention
    CO: Gudonya Intense (etsy), SM Restorative, Tresemme Naturals
    LI: Gudonya IHC, SMCH Milk, Tresemme Nat, Biotera LI
    Stylers (current rotation): AVG/H20 spray, Eco Styler, EVCO, SMCH smoothie and mist, La Bella LoC, ORS Lock & Twist.
    Homemade DTs, PTs and Pre-Poos
    Love flour sack towels.
    Coconut oil = magic!
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,787Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    barbarosa - your hair is gorgeous. Grow it and wear how ever you want. Never go by what others want for you.

    Many people at the Going Gray Looking Great website (and in the book) have long curly hair, so I don't know what they meant by 'long, curly hair doesn't look right'. Things like that really irritate me. As do hair stylists saying everyone should dye and straighten their hair. I feel a rant coming on. : )

    I trim my hair maybe twice a year, I cut it myself with cheap dollar store scissors, I never have a split end. The only damage to my hair is caused by sun and wind (the beach and riding on the back of a Harley or in a convertible), not by my not cutting it enough.
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey. Yes, it's in the senior section. : / -- https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/seniors/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I like it when you have a fit and go cut it in the bathroom at work, Jeepy.
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,787Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    ninja dog wrote: »
    I like it when you have a fit and go cut it in the bathroom at work, Jeepy.
    Hey, that's where I do my best work! : )
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey. Yes, it's in the senior section. : / -- https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/seniors/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Don't we all.............
  • crwrittcrwritt Posts: 705Registered Users
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    Thanks Curlyminx
    Really ...only every 6 months? I thought I needed a cut every six weeks. That would be great. I think you are right about the hogwash. It is sooooo hard to find a stylist that knows curly hair. Thanks for the advice!


    I'm convinced that the six week rule was invented by hairdressers to preserve their own income.That schedule is in their own best interest, not yours. How can your hair grow if you keep cutting it?
  • bluesheepbluesheep Posts: 300Registered Users
    crwritt wrote: »
    I'm convinced that the six week rule was invented by hairdressers to preserve their own income.That schedule is in their own best interest, not yours. How can your hair grow if you keep cutting it?

    ITA. That's part of why I love my stylist. I go in for color every 6 weeks (my hair grows like a chia pet), but she rarely cuts my hair. She'll dust through it every 4 or 5 months to keep the shape. I might get a real cut about once a year.
    3b/3a, medium porosity, slightly coarse, high elasticity, high density. CG 2004; mod CG since 2006. CG again since 4/1/11.

    Lowpoo:
    Gudonya Salty Dawg (etsy), SM Moisture Retention
    CO: Gudonya Intense (etsy), SM Restorative, Tresemme Naturals
    LI: Gudonya IHC, SMCH Milk, Tresemme Nat, Biotera LI
    Stylers (current rotation): AVG/H20 spray, Eco Styler, EVCO, SMCH smoothie and mist, La Bella LoC, ORS Lock & Twist.
    Homemade DTs, PTs and Pre-Poos
    Love flour sack towels.
    Coconut oil = magic!
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Thanks Jeepy. You curly girls have given me courage to grow my hair the way I want it. I will be 64 next week and am not going to listen to these hairdressers anymore. It has been so frustrating to have to keep telling them "Not too short". One got angry with me because he said that he knows best. That it so wrong. It's my hair and I know best. Thanks again for all the encouragement! Now I feel a "rant coming on" :)
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Thanks cr. I think you are right about the 6 week rule. I cant tell you how sad I have been since my last haircut. Hoping to get some length back. My curls like it that way.
  • Robin-in-FLRobin-in-FL Posts: 1,731Registered Users
    At a concert recently I saw a lady with my dream-gray-hair. A little shorter than BSL, really thick, about the same curl type as what I have. Styled in big chunky waves. I didn't want to stalk her and take her picture but almost wish I had.

    Good luck with your growout, Barbarosa!
    2c / C / iii (FIA)
    Med-Coarse, LowPorosity, NormalElast (LCLF)

    Shoulder-Length now.

    Wash: DevaCare Low Poo
    Detangle & Rinseout: Walgreens or Sally's Conditioning Balm (always)
    Leave-in: DevaCare OneC (budget choice is GFTN)
    Style: ReCoil & DevaCare Arc Angel (budget choices are HESMU or Got2BSpikedUp)

    Henna!
  • BugEyeZBugEyeZ Posts: 314Registered Users
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    In an effort to get some professional advice I contacted another hairdresser. Trying to grow my curly gray hair back to shoulder length. Was encouraged by a previous hairdresser to cut it chin length and wedged up in the back. He thought it was more age appropriate at that length. Good hair cut the first time and then much too short every other time. Would like to be able to tie it up again... So the new hairdresser said the only way to maintain hair like mine and to grow it long is to smooth or relax it. I cant win :) Any suggestions?

    Age appropriate??? What is THAT garbage? I suggest you not see so-called hairstylist using such prejudicial terminology. Indeed!

    In fact, run from whatever hairdressers you have in your town because they seem to all have lost their minds...:angry3:
    when all else fails...eat:icescream:
  • missbanjomissbanjo Posts: 3,088Registered Users
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    Thanks Jeepy. You curly girls have given me courage to grow my hair the way I want it. I will be 64 next week and am not going to listen to these hairdressers anymore. It has been so frustrating to have to keep telling them "Not too short". One got angry with me because he said that he knows best. That it so wrong. It's my hair and I know best. Thanks again for all the encouragement! Now I feel a "rant coming on" :)
    Wow, that's pretty bold. I'd have probably been close to poking him in the eye. Can't cut hair if you can't see can you punk?
    Southern Colorado Curly
    Mix of 2s med-low porosity, med-fine texture, lots of hair
  • caramix3acaramix3a Posts: 460Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Three words - Fire that haircutter!
    'Nuff said!
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 9,022Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    That "age-appropriate" garbage sets my teeth on edge!

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • curlyinohiocurlyinohio Posts: 362Registered Users
    Yeah, who says there's an age limit to long hair????? Any, and I mean ANY woman with long, well groomed, healthy hair looks great, and she should glory in it!

    Any by the way, I cut my hair every year at the MOST. I deep treat weekly, and I do nothing that damages my hair, so why cut it? I figure the ends of my hair will let me know when it's time.
    Cowash: Suave Aloe and Water Lily
    Conditioner and Leave-in: GFTN
    LA Looks Sport Gel
    Coconut oil Or Olive oil at night
  • SpaghettiHeadSpaghettiHead Posts: 1,510Registered Users
    When I was 26 (26!!!) my hair was way below bsl, and I cut it to just below my ears....my grandmother of all people said "Oh, I'm so glad you cut all of that mess off, you're WAY TOO OLD to be wearing it like that!"
    I'd hate to see what she had to say about how long it is now that i'm really "old."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • BarbarosaBarbarosa Posts: 116Registered Users
    Spaghetti head (love you name and your hair!) My mother used to say the same thing. One of her other favorite questions was " Barbara, when are you going to do something with that hair?" and " Do you ever comb your hair, EVER?" She could bring me to tears .She was 84 and still dying and straightening her hair.. That was pretty much the story since I was a little girl. She hated her curls and made me feel the same way for so long. So sad. Thank goodness we are in an age that accepts and respects diversity. Oh...and when I decided to let it go gray, can you imagine her chagrin? Curly and gray, oh horrors! :)
  • SpaghettiHeadSpaghettiHead Posts: 1,510Registered Users
    Barbarosa wrote: »
    Spaghetti head (love you name and your hair!) My mother used to say the same thing. One of her other favorite questions was " Barbara, when are you going to do something with that hair?" and " Do you ever comb your hair, EVER?" She could bring me to tears .She was 84 and still dying and straightening her hair.. That was pretty much the story since I was a little girl. She hated her curls and made me feel the same way for so long. So sad. Thank goodness we are in an age that accepts and respects diversity. Oh...and when I decided to let it go gray, can you imagine her chagrin? Curly and gray, oh horrors! :)

    Blasphemous!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • VerityVerity Posts: 616Registered Users
    I have the opposite problem, in a way. My hairstylist won't listen that I WANT my hair chin length--she insists on leaving it longer, which is just not flattering on me. Actually, it's the same problem: a stylist with his or her own agenda and who WILL NOT LISTEN TO THE CLIENT. I guess these people just don't want our business.
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,023Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    well, at age 61 my hair is long curly and transitioning into gray. it is about 5 colors now. i get it cut once a year at devachan. they are totally cool with my yearly program and think long gray hair is fine on us mature folks. however, one advantage of getting older is not giving a crap what people think of our lifestyle or choices for ourselves....
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fbanjolady%2F" class="Popup
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Flazycurls" class="Popup
  • caramix3acaramix3a Posts: 460Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    "however, one advantage of getting older is not giving a crap what people think of our lifestyle or choices for ourselves...." - banjocurl

    I'm WITH ya on that one - so freeing! Maybe this is why so many people are threatened by wise wild older women, BECAUSE of the fact that we're free!

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