Help with Parents!

elliejellielliejelli Registered Users Posts: 6
Hello everyone

I apologize if I posted this in the wrong section. I'm 14 and I recently decided to go natural after learning more information about how to take care of natural hair. I started transition last summer but didnt't know it at the time. I just knew that I was sick of relaxers. I've always pictured natural hair as a big frizzy mess but one day I saw an above the influence commercial where a girl stated that she was natural. I fell in love her curls and I was shocked that natural hair could look that pretty. immediately started researching about transitioning and natural hair and was overwhelmed at how beautiful it can be if taken care of properly. I started my transitioning process which lasted for about 8 months before my mom FORCED me to get a relaxer. You can imagine how shocked and disappointed I was. She has always been against the process, saying that it wont be the way I want it and that my hair is "begging" for a relaxer. I tried to educate her about natural hair as much as I could but she never really listened. I think the main problem was in the long term transitioning process because of the 2 textures. She said that my hair didnt look right but i told her to be patient and to wait for it to grow out. Is there anyway that I could change her mind about me going natural? Do you guys know of any transitioning styles that do not include braids or weaves? And she's going natural to by the way, but I dont know how long that's going to last with her viewpoints of natural hair being so negative. Thank you in advance and I aprreciate any help!


  • Lotsa loopsLotsa loops Registered Users Posts: 130
    What you simply need to tell your mom is that you like your hair curly better then straight, and that it takes time to grow hair out to be curly again after a relaxer. She needs to give you a chance to show her how great your hair can look when it's curly before she forces you to get a relaxer. Also, it's extremely unfair that she's wearing her hair natural but judging you for doing the same.

    No matter what, she shouldn't be forcing you to get a relaxer or anything else. If the nice approach in the first paragraph above doesn't work tell her it's your hair and she can't force you to do anything about it (of course, then you'd have to pay for your own hair cuts/cut your own hair, but that might be the price you have to pay).

    And honestly, as someone who's never gotten a relaxer, I think they look terrible. I'd much rather see a puffy, frizzy afro then dead, overworked, relaxed hair.
    Hair Type: I was thinking thick, fine 3A, but honestly I have no clue! I do know I have a super flat top, and frizz on the sides.
    No - Poo Shampoo: Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo
    Conditioner: Burt's Bees More Moisture Condish
    Products: Kiss My Face Upper Management Gel, AG Recoil Curl Activator
  • SammySingallySammySingally Registered Users Posts: 131
    Your mum reminds me of my mum. I had the exact same problem and at the exact same age!
    Just tell your mum that she doesn't need to bother or help you out with your hair from now on. Then show determination, keep your hair healthy, find ways to style your hair with both textures etc. You can pm me or get my email address or something and we can talk about this since we had the same issue.
    I can tell you that the last time I went to the hair salon, the owner asked me what I do with my hair now because ever since I decided to go natural and I've been working on my hair by myself, it's been way healthier, growing faster, and everyone who never saw my natural hair there is shocked. The owner of a hair salon wants to know my secret to healthy natural hair. The owner got a BC, her hair's natural, but not as long as mine (though she went natural before I did). I'm judging by the length of my natural hair (I have less than an inch of relaxed hair at the ends of my hair).
    So, if you want to talk about this, and maybe know bout other ways you could convince your mum, just PM me, okay? I'd love to help :)
    Things I use: Olive Oil, Canola oil, rosemary oil, aloe vera gel, shea butter, mayonnaise, eggs, milk, bananas

    Everything I use is 100% natural. I make most of them myself because then I'm sure what's in it and I'm sure nothing's added, it's pure, it's natural.

    Things I avoid: Mineral oil (codename: Baby oil), heat (I'm a total, no hair driers, no straighteners, no curling irons, no flat irons, no hot combs...nada), sodium chloride

    Growing plan: At least 6 inches longer in a year.

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