Please delete this unappropriate post

SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
Please delete the post "Guy question? Need some input" from Nikki long curls
in the non-hair discussion. It's dated March 22. I feel it's offensive and distasteful.

Comments

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    the moderator has asked him to tone down the question.

    but what concerns me is that there seems to be an attempt to censor the content of a gay male member.

    some of the sexual questions from female members can get quite explicit, but i can't recall seeing anyone ask that they be deleted.

    it's obvious to many members who've been around for a while that nikki long curls is a gay man. if you find what he posts offensive, why read it in the first place?
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Roq, I personally don't care at all that he's gay, what I don't care for is having an in-depth discussion of oral sex with a 14 year old (alleged, 14 year old) of ANY sex. I'm an ADULT and this is not my child so really, it's just all-around inappropraite.

    If I, as a parent, found that my child was getting sex tips from grown women on a web site, I'd be furious that these same grown women didn't have enough sense not to encourage this.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I believe he's more like 17 or 18, not 14, which probably makes him legal in his state (aside from any non-symmetrical "sodomy" laws that might be in place, and assuming he's in the US). But I could be wrong about his age. I'll do a search and see.

    A warning might be nice, but I do agree that similar posts from female members have gotten about as explicit and have garnered no outrage at all. If this is true, does it mean that a post about two men is seen as more explicit than a similar post about a man and a woman? And if THAT is true, then it IS about him being gay and the gender of his partner, is it not?

    He did warn us at the beginning, also, by saying "Alright before I give my info I want to let you know I may be a little explicit in explaining the situation, but it is something I need to talk about."

    Still, whether or not to delete is up to the mods and I don't envy that position. smile.gif

    [This message has been edited by AmyWOMAN (edited March 22, 2001).]
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    i posted this last month about another topic and i think it bears repeating:

    "i'm actually more uncomfortable with the thought of using censorship - even self-censorhip - as a method of "protecting" our younger members from views that we aren't personally comfortable with.

    after all, we aren't their parents or guardians.

    i think one of the best things about NC is that so many differing points of view are expressed - and in very different ways - that our younger members get an idea of the range of personalities and lifestyles that are out there.

    and i hope they use that information to help define themselves and their place in world, rather than passing judgement on others. the world is not as black and white as it seems to the young, the shades of gray are many and varied.

    it might be worrisome to see them exposed to information that seems "wrong" to us, but we have to trust that their value system, the one instilled by THEIR FAMILY, will lead them to make the right decision FOR THEM.

    that's the best we can hope for. and i think it's good for them to know that there are some adults that will talk to them as adults and tell them things that they sometimes might not hear from those that they are closer to."
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I posted a warning about the explicitness of his question and I'd've done the same about a question asked from/about a female, if I'd seen it.
    I just think there are more appropriate places for such detailed posts.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    your attention was specifically drawn to THIS post!

    a short while ago, we had a VERY explicit discussion about ejaculation.

    but it was *women* discussing this. and i didn't see anyone saying "delete this topic".

    seriously, i think your attention was drawn here because it deals with gay sexuality and there is a segment of the membership that isn't comfortable with that.

    i realize that you don't want NC to end up on Net Nanny's list of barred sites, but we need to strike some balance here. is barring all discussion of sexual matters the route you wish to take? it would only be fair to bar the het majority from discussing such things if the gay minority can't speak freely.

    as a private site you aren't bound by First Amendment provisions.

    and i'm perfectly comfortable with that as long as such a ban applies to everyone equally.

    but one of the best things about this site is the way the older members don't talk "down" to the younger ones. we try to give them information as freely as possible and i think there's a lot of respect for differing points of view, which is good for our teen members.

    as pandulce, who is truly wise beyond her years, pointed out - teenagers, even pre-teens, are more sexually aware and active than we older members are aware.

    and i like that some of our younger members are comfortable talking to us about these things, because sometimes it can be really frightening to talk to adults you know when you think they might judge you, and the faceless 40-year-old on the other end of the computer screen will be less scary than trying to ask your own mom.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Thanks for your thoughtful post, Roquinne. You've made some good points, about which I will spend some time thinking.
    You're quite right, my attention was drawn to this post quite possibly because it deals with gay issues. And if I fell victim to that, I apologize.
    Michelle and I need to come up with a more well-defined policy on the discussion of sexual issues on this board.
    As journalists, Michelle and I are staunch defenders of the First Amendment. However, we will apply the "community standards" rule, if that's what we decide. I guess that's what I was doing here in asking for a little less explicitness.
    But, clearly, we need to think about it some more.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CurlyGurlyNYC:
    Roq, I personally don't care at all that he's gay, what I don't care for is having an in-depth discussion of oral sex with a 14 year old (alleged, 14 year old) of ANY sex. I'm an ADULT and this is not my child so really, it's just all-around inappropraite.

    If I, as a parent, found that my child was getting sex tips from grown women on a web site, I'd be furious that these same grown women didn't have enough sense not to encourage this.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    What a self righteous *****. I suppose you would rather continue your ridiculous diatribe about how it is appropriate to carry on an incestuous relationship between second cousins and how dare anyone speak out against it. I'm sure you feel it's more appropriate to talk about that.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I don't know where this thread is heading, but I still would like to know what is wrong with the word ****rty? Pu ber ty is something very natural and should have no bad connotations placed upon it. Please let me know why we are debating a post from some guy when we can't even use the "p" word? I didn't even know there was a "p" word until 5 minutes ago when I was trying to ask another thread the same question. What is this world coming to?
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dantethedog:
    I don't know where this thread is heading, but I still would like to know what is wrong with the word ****rty? Pu ber ty is something very natural and should have no bad connotations placed upon it. Please let me know why we are debating a post from some guy when we can't even use the "p" word? I didn't even know there was a "p" word until 5 minutes ago when I was trying to ask another thread the same question. What is this world coming to?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I think it's because of the first four letters. They make up a word that someone used for their username (****head), and that person harassed us for a time.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    We can't say ****rty? I'm lost.

    Nevermind, thanks Amy!

    [This message has been edited by curlygreeneyes (edited June 11, 2001).]
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Thanks for the explanation, but I still think Censoring the word is silly.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    dante-you had to be here-they were pretty obnoxious.......
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    That's cool. I was really suprised b/c of the content of some of the posts, then I read a really well thought out, educational post and couldn't figure out what was wrong with that particular word.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Amywoman is correct. A while back people were using a rather nasty word with the same root as pub er ty. When I blocked that word, the system apparently blocked all forms; I'll see if I can fix it. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

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