CurlTalk

OT: Dark Girls Documentary Preview

tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
Dark Girls: Preview on Vimeo

So sad to see the hatred between skin TONES

Originally posted on FB by Natural Chica

Being a dark skinned girl, I do understand what these girls went through. With the teasing, I wanted to be lighter. I didn't want my kids to be dark skinned, not because it was ugly but because I didn't want them to go through what I went through. But knowing what I know now, that only made me stronger, made me love me more. Doing the BC, helped me realize I was beautiful; dark skin, twa, yet still beautiful =D
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LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
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Comments

  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    That preview is powerful...and very sad. I cried. I wish we would get it together, with this thing. I don't know though...we've been dealing with this for so long. Slavery is over, and we have yet to overcome.
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  • tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
    I know. It's sad thing. Something as simple as light or dark. SMDH
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  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.
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  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    tbabyy wrote: »
    I know. It's sad thing. Something as simple as light or dark. SMDH

    Right? It's so twisted.
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    I agree. So powerful. It's so sad the way treat each other.
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  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    I agree. So powerful. It's so sad the way treat each other.

    That's why when I hear another black person ATTEMPT to get stupid, with this "shade" fixation, they get shut down. I don't allow them to make dumb declarations around my child relatives, either.
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  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    in some ways i feel it needs to be exposed so that those that have these views can figure out why they do, like the guy who in the vid who said a dark skin girl doesn't look right with him, he wants a light skinned girl with long hair. maybe when people see that they'll see how stupid it sounds and consider changing. maybe when people see "dark" girls crying on the video they will really think about the hurt some people feel all because of something like skin tone.

    i do want to add that i thought about this and extremely pale white people probably also struggle although i don't know if it's to the same extreme but some of them are willing to tan even though it's hazardous to your health. so acceptance of people regardless of skin tone isn't completely a black thing.

    i can't wait to see the documentary.
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  • tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
    Yes, I know. and I think its good that this is being brought to people's attention. How people feel, how it's not something people can just "get over". One comment I saw on the original post was "this movie seems melodramatic. If you have high self esteem and you keep up your appearances these stupid remarks about darker people wouldn't affect you, imo"-- Yes, you can do this once you are an adult. But these people weren't light as a child then when they got older they magically became dark...they were dark as a child too and having a high self-esteem as a child....is it really that simple?

    Edit to add:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dwf5nhYixkpA" class="Popup

    (Girlfriends episode: Dark Vs Light issue starts about 3:00)
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    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    tbabyy wrote: »
    Yes, I know. and I think its good that this is being brought to people's attention. How people feel, how it's not something people can just "get over". One comment I saw on the original post was "this movie seems melodramatic. If you have high self esteem and you keep up your appearances these stupid remarks about darker people wouldn't affect you, imo"-- Yes, you can do this once you are an adult. But these people weren't light as a child then when they got older they magically became dark...they were dark as a child too and having a high self-esteem as a child....is it really that simple?

    Yes...and let me say this: EVERYBODY already knows our "secrets". There is no "exposure" that didn't start long before this video. This is nothing new...it's been going on for ages.
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    What touched me particularly:

    I remember as a child (5-6?) trying to rub the black off of my knees in the bathtub. No one in my family talked about light vs. dark but I just *knew* it was not better to be dark. I hope (to the point of seeming a little off) to tell my future children how much they are worth as they were made.

    But then I saw the one segment with the woman talking about how much her mother had praised her looks (lips, cheekbones) but added that one caveat of "If she had been born a few shades lighter, think how much prettier she would have been." Wow. :(
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  • tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
    Nea wrote: »
    tbabyy wrote: »
    Yes, I know. and I think its good that this is being brought to people's attention. How people feel, how it's not something people can just "get over". One comment I saw on the original post was "this movie seems melodramatic. If you have high self esteem and you keep up your appearances these stupid remarks about darker people wouldn't affect you, imo"-- Yes, you can do this once you are an adult. But these people weren't light as a child then when they got older they magically became dark...they were dark as a child too and having a high self-esteem as a child....is it really that simple?

    Yes...and let me say this: EVERYBODY already knows our "secrets". There is no "exposure" that didn't start long before this video. This is nothing new...it's been going on for ages.

    Oh yea of course! But I think the docu shows the tears, the realness behind it all...hopefully HOPEFULLY people will see how it REALLY affects us.
    b04fbffc-52c8-49d6-a7f1-77140040642d.jpg

    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    But then I saw the one segment with the woman talking about how much her mother had praised her looks (lips, cheekbones) but added that one caveat of "If she had been born a few shades lighter, think how much prettier she would have been." Wow. :(

    that's when it cuts, when the disapproval comes from your own mother. which i might add was different from that lady said that if she had a daughter she didn't want her to be dark. i felt she was saying she didn't want her to be dark because she KNOWS the pain associated with being a dark woman not because she wouldn't love her.
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  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    I never had an complex/issue with colorism growing up or even now, but it really touches my heart when I see things like this. It also frustrates me. In the clip one of the women said that white people compliment her beauty and her skin but it's sad that her own people don't see the beauty in her :pale:. I think documentaries like this need to keep coming forth and getting people's attention. We shouldn't be silent and complacent when it comes to social issues within our own community for fear that other groups will perceive us negatively. That's not a way to progress. And if they're gonna perceive us negatively, which in a lot of ways they do already, they don't need a documentary to do it.
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  • tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
    CocoT wrote: »
    I never had an complex/issue with colorism growing up or even now, but it really touches my heart when I see things like this. It also frustrates me. In the clip one of the women said that white people compliment her beauty and her skin but it's sad that her own people don't see the beauty in her :pale:. I think documentaries like this need to keep coming forth and getting people's attention. We shouldn't be silent and complacent when it comes to social issues within our own community for fear that other groups will perceive us negatively. That's not a way to progress. And if they're gonna perceive us negatively, which in a lot of ways they do already, they don't need a documentary to do it.

    +100 you said it!!!
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    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    luvmylocs wrote: »
    But then I saw the one segment with the woman talking about how much her mother had praised her looks (lips, cheekbones) but added that one caveat of "If she had been born a few shades lighter, think how much prettier she would have been." Wow. :(

    that's when it cuts, when the disapproval comes from your own mother. which i might add was different from that lady said that if she had a daughter she didn't want her to be dark. i felt she was saying she didn't want her to be dark because she KNOWS the pain associated with being a dark woman not because she wouldn't love her.

    Moms can be a mess...and it's interesting that often they totally miss how their declarations wound their children...deeply. Can folks be that...dumb? If your own momma ain't in your corner...

    Why would you wanna mess up your kid's head to the point where they may NEVER get over it, or they spend a lifetime in therapy/counseling, prayer request lines, demon-casting-out services, etc. Then, they have children...and it all starts up again. Did you see the ages of the women in the video? One is older than I am, and none of them looked like "kids".

    If I had a "colorist" momma/daddy, I would read them the riot act: "I love you, but if you try to hurt my children, I will protect them..even if that means they can't come around you. So, watch what you say around them."
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  • tbabyytbabyy Posts: 570Registered Users
    Nea wrote: »
    luvmylocs wrote: »
    But then I saw the one segment with the woman talking about how much her mother had praised her looks (lips, cheekbones) but added that one caveat of "If she had been born a few shades lighter, think how much prettier she would have been." Wow. :(

    that's when it cuts, when the disapproval comes from your own mother. which i might add was different from that lady said that if she had a daughter she didn't want her to be dark. i felt she was saying she didn't want her to be dark because she KNOWS the pain associated with being a dark woman not because she wouldn't love her.

    Moms can be a mess...and it's interesting that often they totally miss how their declarations wound their children...deeply. Can folks be that...dumb? If your own momma ain't in your corner...

    Why would you wanna mess up your kid's head to the point where they may NEVER get over it, or they spend a lifetime in therapy/counseling, prayer request lines, demon-casting-out services, etc. Then, they have children...and it all starts up again. Did you see the ages of the women in the video? One is older than I am, and none of them looked like "kids".

    If I had a "colorist" momma/daddy, I would read them the riot act: "I love you, but if you try to hurt my children, I will protect them..even if that means they can't come around you. So, watch what you say around them."

    I couldn't even imagine! My mom's mom is dark and my mom's dad is light. It is just the opposite with my dad's parents. So I guess I was lucky to grow up with neither side being biased to another.

    The girl who talked about scrubbing her face to get the "dark" off...I used to do that. It's just sad.
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    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • teejayteejay Posts: 537Registered Users
    Nea wrote: »
    That preview is powerful...and very sad. I cried. I wish we would get it together, with this thing. I don't know though...we've been dealing with this for so long. Slavery is over, and we have yet to overcome.

    +1. It reminds me of something that was said in front of me a couple of weeks ago. I picked my daughter and her friend up from school. They were gossiping about another friend and the boy that she likes. The friend in the car said, "He is so ugly. I don't know why she likes him. He is like skinneded (her word) and is supposed to be prettier than everybody else." I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, I thought that I misunderstood her. I asked her to repeat herself. Yep. I heard correctly. My daughter and I looked at her like: :shock::angry5:

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  • itsKelCeeEeeitsKelCeeEee Posts: 1,084Registered Users
    I never understood all the skin tone hate. I used to lay in the sun for HOURS to try and get a dark skin tone! Now that I'm older I know that as black people we're all supposed to appreciate the features that we're born with, because unless you have the money to shell out for multiple surgeries/bleaching agents, that's what you're gonna have. No one should have to feel ashamed of how they look, and it's a damn shame that black people still feel the need to have classification systems built on skin tones.

    I think I've said it before, but it's been discovered that Africans (or African Americans, I can't remember which) have a total of 33 different possible skin tones. I don't understand how of all those possibilities, a good twenty five-thirty of them are seen as horrible and people are so hung up on light skin. We as a race really need to get it together, because it's not white people making us feel this way or anyone else. It's our own people. And it's sad when your enemies are those who you'd think would be your biggest allies.

    I am so tired. I hope I made any sort of sense.
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  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    Nea wrote: »
    That preview is powerful...and very sad. I cried. I wish we would get it together, with this thing. I don't know though...we've been dealing with this for so long. Slavery is over, and we have yet to overcome.

    I cried too. Slavery is over, but the 'tudes are still with us. My dad grew up as a sharecropper (aka moder day slave) and he went though some of the same crap in the 20th century as our forefathers did 150+ years ago. Its going to take a long time this ends unfortunately.
    tbabyy wrote: »
    Yes, I know. and I think its good that this is being brought to people's attention. How people feel, how it's not something people can just "get over". One comment I saw on the original post was "this movie seems melodramatic. If you have high self esteem and you keep up your appearances these stupid remarks about darker people wouldn't affect you, imo"-- Yes, you can do this once you are an adult. But these people weren't light as a child then when they got older they magically became dark...they were dark as a child too and having a high self-esteem as a child....is it really that simple?

    Edit to add:

    YouTube - ‪Girlfriends Hippy Marcus1‬‏

    (Girlfriends episode: Dark Vs Light issue starts about 3:00)


    Amen!
    What touched me particularly:

    I remember as a child (5-6?) trying to rub the black off of my knees in the bathtub. No one in my family talked about light vs. dark but I just *knew* it was not better to be dark. I hope (to the point of seeming a little off) to tell my future children how much they are worth as they were made.

    But then I saw the one segment with the woman talking about how much her mother had praised her looks (lips, cheekbones) but added that one caveat of "If she had been born a few shades lighter, think how much prettier she would have been." Wow. :(

    I did the same thing when I was a kid in the bath tub. Its amazing how universal this is. I had the long hair I just needed my skin to comply.
    CocoT wrote: »
    I never had an complex/issue with colorism growing up or even now, but it really touches my heart when I see things like this. It also frustrates me. In the clip one of the women said that white people compliment her beauty and her skin but it's sad that her own people don't see the beauty in her :pale:. I think documentaries like this need to keep coming forth and getting people's attention. We shouldn't be silent and complacent when it comes to social issues within our own community for fear that other groups will perceive us negatively. That's not a way to progress. And if they're gonna perceive us negatively, which in a lot of ways they do already, they don't need a documentary to do it.

    +100000
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  • itsKelCeeEeeitsKelCeeEee Posts: 1,084Registered Users
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.

    Because if we didn't, life would be too easy. It's just like how I told someone if that movie Precious starred a white person in that situation, no one would've watched that movie/given a crap. No one's happy unless black people are nitpicking at each other and pointing out each other's "flaws". IMO.
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  • AlikaIssaAlikaIssa Banned Posts: 339Banned Users
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.
  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.
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  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    Plus, it's time to let go of trying to "front" for the world...we can't "fake it till we make it" with this one. Sorry.

    We've been struggling with this too long. We should be more ashamed of that, than how a documentary makes us look. I don't think this documentary is going to be on "their" must-watch list, anyway.
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  • AlikaIssaAlikaIssa Banned Posts: 339Banned Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »
    I'll be honest. I couldn't get past the first 40 seconds. I think that pieces like this set us up to be attacked by people like Satoshi, because we are so candid with exposing our insecurities. Not trying to spark a debate/discussion, that's just how I feel. I won't watch it. And I know that people already know about our insecurities, but we are constantly reminding society of how "downtrodden" we are.

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    That's true. However, it's on the internet for all the world to see.

    As a dark skinned woman growing up in London no one ever said anything negative about my skin colour. In fact, I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men growing up so a lot of the stuff that they are talking about in the documentary is news to me.

    I've spent a lot of time in the states and before I started covering up I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men over there as well. My sisters are also dark skinned and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states. I have dark skinned friends and family members and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states.

    That documentary can lead people to think that all black people in the states discriminate against all dark skinned women but that just isn't true.
  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »
    AlikaIssa wrote: »

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    That's true. However, it's on the internet for all the world to see.

    As a dark skinned woman growing up in London no one ever said anything negative about my skin colour. In fact, I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men growing up so a lot of the stuff that they are talking about in the documentary is news to me.

    I've spent a lot of time in the states and before I started covering up I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men over there as well. My sisters are also dark skinned and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states. I have dark skinned friends and family members and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states.

    That documentary can lead people to think that all black people in the states discriminate against all dark skinned women but that just isn't true.

    If they think that, that's their problem. Of course not all things will apply to all people.
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    Racists don't need films to be racist against us. They will always find something. I don't understand the logic behind caring what they think to the point of limiting dialogue and expression.
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  • AlikaIssaAlikaIssa Banned Posts: 339Banned Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    That's true. However, it's on the internet for all the world to see.

    As a dark skinned woman growing up in London no one ever said anything negative about my skin colour. In fact, I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men growing up so a lot of the stuff that they are talking about in the documentary is news to me.

    I've spent a lot of time in the states and before I started covering up I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men over there as well. My sisters are also dark skinned and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states. I have dark skinned friends and family members and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states.

    That documentary can lead people to think that all black people in the states discriminate against all dark skinned women but that just isn't true.

    If they think that, that's their problem. Of course not all things will apply to all people.

    That's true.

    It's just that if I had never spent any time in the states I would have a very negative picture of the black people over there because of that documentary.

    Thank God I've been to the states several times so I know that it's not as bad as this documentary makes it seem.
  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    AlikaIssa wrote: »
    AlikaIssa wrote: »

    After watching the clip I agree with Elle's comment.

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    That's true. However, it's on the internet for all the world to see.

    .............

    That documentary can lead people to think that all black people in the states discriminate against all dark skinned women but that just isn't true.

    You can't stop people from thinking that way. They will do it regardless. People will continue to make blanket statements about black people and it won't always apply to you. They do that with other races as well. People may look at the Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of New Jersey and say all Italians are trashy white people (I don't believe that to be true at all) but that's how some people think.

    I didn't personally have a negative experience with colorism either but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't care about the issue enough to want to support a documentary that brings the issue to light.

    And just because you have experienced positive attention from black men doesn't mean that colorism isn't running rampant in the black community. If you were exposing your self like you imply, you support the argument of one of the women in the clip that said dark skin women are more objectified sexually.
    11.gif
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  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    racists don't need films to be racist against us. They will always find something. i don't understand the logic behind caring what they think to the point of limiting dialogue and expression.
    +1000000000
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    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
    -Albert Einstein
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  • AlikaIssaAlikaIssa Banned Posts: 339Banned Users
    CocoT wrote: »
    AlikaIssa wrote: »

    We wear our insecurities on your sleeves all the time. It not new news to them. This documentary is for us, not them.

    That's true. However, it's on the internet for all the world to see.

    As a dark skinned woman growing up in London no one ever said anything negative about my skin colour. In fact, I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men growing up so a lot of the stuff that they are talking about in the documentary is news to me.

    I've spent a lot of time in the states and before I started covering up I got a lot of unwanted attention from black men over there as well. My sisters are also dark skinned and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states. I have dark skinned friends and family members and they get a lot of attention from black men in the states.

    That documentary can lead people to think that all black people in the states discriminate against all dark skinned women but that just isn't true.

    You can't stop people from thinking that way. They will do it regardless. People will continue to make blanket statements about black people and it won't always apply to you. They do that with other races as well. People may look at the Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of New Jersey and say all Italians are trashy white people (I don't believe that to be true at all) but that's how some people think.

    I didn't personally have a negative experience with colorism either but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't care about the issue enough to want to support a documentary that brings the issue to light.

    And just because you have experienced positive attention from black men doesn't mean that colorism isn't running rampant in the black community. If you were exposing your self like you imply, you support the argument of one of the women in the clip that said dark skin women are more objectified sexually.

    When I said 'covering up' I meant wearing a hijab (head scarves that muslim women wear)

    I have never exposed myself. I always wear very loose clothing.
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