I'm starting to hate my hair... :(

happytreefunhappytreefun Posts: 59Registered Users
Okay I have a big problem. I've tried SO many products over the last 2 years, and none of them are getting me the results i want. I want pretty non-frizzy curls that i can style anyway I want, and they'll look great. Well who doesn't right? So I try to look for these products that will get me that result from every place I can think of Ulta, Target, drugstores. It's so frustrating! Then I go to school and see people with beautiful straight hair, it's kind of a punch at my self-esteem. Yesterday, I was in a class and a boy behind me was playing with my hair. He was showing everyone and he said, "Look guys. Look how curly her hair is." I don't know what he meant by that but for the first time ever I was ashamed of my hair. I thought it was my haircut or something so I got it trimmed and still same results. I'm worried because I'm starting high school next year, and I don't want to have to wear my hair in the same hairstyle every single day. I need some good products to make me feel good about my hair again. So I guess what I'm asking for here is a product that never lets you down. Like one you would turn to for practically perfect results. I've already tried Deva Curl, Pantene Curly Hair Series, Herbal Essences, La Bella Lots of Curls, and a couple more that I can't think of at the moment if this helps any. Please, please help me!


  • infojunkyinfojunky Posts: 106Registered Users
    Have you tried the CG method (washing with conditioner)? I use to shampoo my hair, but 2 months I started Cging. I have a lot of damage from shampooing and heat styling, it was frizz city. But now cging, even with damaged hair, my hair has never looked better. I will get a litte frizz sometimes but that's because I didn't use as much leave in as I should have.

    I know it's hard, but don't worry about what the other kids think. Don't let them get you down.

    Hope this helps!!!!!!:)))))))
    2c w/ some 3a on the ends
    Length - just below shoulders when wavy
    texture - under layer fine, everything else medium
    According to the articles of how to determen these:
    Porosity- low
    Density - medium

    shampoo - clear scalp & hair therapy
    rinse out - clear scalp & hair therapy
    leave in - whatever rinse out I'm using at the time
    gel - kccc
    dt - aussie 3 min miracle

    experimenting and open to suggestions!
  • anonymous_66388anonymous_66388 Posts: 28Registered Users
    I'm kinda at the point you are :cyclops:
    I'm going to try and "revamp" my hair over the summer !!
    I think trying CG is a good idea but even if you can't stand it you can go partial Cg (thats what im gonna do)
    It sounds like maybe your hair is damaged (heat or shampoo possibly). You should get a trim (to get rid of spilt ends) and try a deep conditioner or maybe a protein treatment. Then maybe try CG or just cutting out any heat and shampoo.
    Do you dry your hair with a hairdryer? You may want to invest in a difuser and use only the cool setting. Thats worked wonders for me! Hope I've helped :blob8:
    Curl Type: 3a/b with tons of frizz

    Current Haircut:Uhh.... a mistake that will hopefully be fixed soon.

    Current Hair Products: Anything I can get my hands on..

    Fanasty Hair: Red. Waist-long. Big,soft, not frizzy, curls.

    Realistic Dream Hair: Mid-back Big curls. No frizz.

    (thats me ^)
  • rj16rj16 Posts: 186Registered Users
    Could it be that you either have unrealistic expectations of your hair or that you are not working with you natural pattern? I realize now that I spent a lot of time and energy fighting my hair... And I was never satisfied. I second the recs for CG or modCG. At least give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised. It does take a little getting used to but if it works for your hair, its miraculous! Hair that is dehydrated and unhealthy will not look very good and curly hair is extremely prone to both of those. Good luck!
  • happytreefunhappytreefun Posts: 59Registered Users
    Thanks you guys for some great answers! I will definetl tried the CG method I've heard lots about it. And I will try somedeep conditioning too because I think one if my major problems is moisture. & to answer your question I may be tumbling some slightly unrealistic results because when I picture what I want my hair to look like it's always someone on tvs hair. That could be part of my problem because they don't even hve the sane hair type as me. Anyways, thanks again!
  • Curltastic7Curltastic7 Posts: 24Registered Users
    I was having the same problems last year! I absolutely hated my hair, which is 3b/c and really frizzy. It has gotten better, I use Ouidad, Matrix Biolage, and Redken products (I would reccomend them all). Trying CG or part CG is also a good idea. The important thing is not to get down about it..finding the right products and routine is a process, but you'll get there! Don't listen to any negative things kids say at school! I had to deal with that for all of middle school and still deal with it now. They're really just jealous of you! Good luck girl!
    3b-3c curls
    Learning to love my wildly huge curly hair!
    ....l l(o o)l l
    ......ll(~)ll It's a monkey!!
  • CherryBombVonnCherryBombVonn Posts: 18Registered Users
    I know how you feel, everyone in my mom's family has perfect blonde waives and everyone in my dad's family totally gets the Japanese Straight or chops their hair really short and THEN restyles it to look wavy, it's hard being the only person who wears their hair curly, I just started maybe 3 months ago and one of the things that helped significantly reduce the frizz, volume, and define curl pattern for me was a hot hair oil treatment :D maybe you should try it too! I know people are telling you that you might have unrealistic expectations but i don't think so, i think it's just difficult for us because for so long society has told us it's better to have wavy or straight hair than actually learn to manage and style our curly hair, before i went natural i didn't even know about products for curly hair till this website! :D Here's the youtube tutorial i used for the hot oil treatment! hope it helps you like it helped me! and good luck! it gets easier! i promise!

    YouTube - Hot Oil Treatment Great For Dry Hair

    P.S. just get the coconut oil from henry's, they're the only ones with pure virgin coconut oil, and i got my african royale hot six oil from sally's but walmart has it too! :] the longer you leave it in the better ;] and remember to untangle i the shower with a wide tooth comb, section it and start from the ends and up the the roots, it also REALLY helped me define my curl pattern :D
    Hair Type: 3B type Curls, Thick.

    Length: BSL.


    Current Products:wen: sweet almont mint cleansing conditioner by Chaz Dean, wen: sweet almond mint Texture Balm by Chaz Dean, [FONT=&quot]TRESemme[/FONT][FONT=&quot]: [/FONT]4+4 STYLING GLAZE, pHormulate: 5s Styleblast finishing spray,[FONT=&quot]Ouidad: Climate Control[/FONT][FONT=&quot].[/FONT]

  • happytreefunhappytreefun Posts: 59Registered Users
    Thank you both so much! Great advice, i will definetly try that hot oil ive never even heard of it b4 now!
  • IrrevocablyCurlyIrrevocablyCurly Posts: 3Registered Users
    One thing that has really helped with my hair is cold water. Whenever I wash my hair I try to use cold water instead of my blazing hot, despite the fact I love it, because hot water sucks moisture out of hair and tends to make hair porous and frizz. If you can’t take cold showers rinse your hair under the shower faucet (That’s what I do) so you don’t shiver to death. (:
    Another thing that helps me with my hair is NOT using shampoo. I only shampoo my hair once very two and a half weeks to a month. My hair holds it’s curl pattern MUCH better.
    As far as products the “Mixed Chicks” line is the only that that can make my hair look incredible. As most good products, though it’s expensive. An alternative I’ve been using is BioInfusion’s Olive oil deep conditioner. Olive oil is extremely good for the hair and always adds shine.
    Hope that helped a little bit!
  • IrrevocablyCurlyIrrevocablyCurly Posts: 3Registered Users
    I forgot to mention~
    Do NOT hate your hair.

    We all go through that boat but let me tell you, tons of people would die to have curly hair. I recently started modeling for an agency and people got nuts over my hair even though I used to perm it and it's not a 3c at the top 3b in the middle and 3a at the ends. Your curls may not always look the way you desire but I can guarantee you there's at least ten people who know you who would die to have your hair.

  • Lotsa loopsLotsa loops Posts: 130Registered Users
    I know how you feel! I recommend following a routine. I use only organic products/curly girl method.

    This is my routine:

    Get in shower (morning)
    Shampoo with sulfate, silicone, and paraben free shampoo (use hot water)
    Condition with silicone and paraben free conditioner
    Comb hair after a few minutes after the conditioner has sat on hair to get rid of tangles (don't use brush, a wide tooth comb is preferred, but any comb is fine!) and rinse with cold water

    After shower:

    Comb hair again while still sopping wet
    Apply silicone and paraben free leave in conditioner for shine, anti - frizz, and curl formation.
    Apply silicone and paraben free gel to seal in leave in conditioner and further anti - frizz.

    I really hope this helps! All the luck!

    And make sure to get a hair cut for curls from someone familiar with curls!
    Hair Type: I was thinking thick, fine 3A, but honestly I have no clue! I do know I have a super flat top, and frizz on the sides.
    No - Poo Shampoo: Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo
    Conditioner: Burt's Bees More Moisture Condish
    Products: Kiss My Face Upper Management Gel, AG Recoil Curl Activator
  • ZariaZaria Posts: 2Registered Users
    I'm actually kinda going through the same thing. I really want to grow my hair out long but it is so frizzy and annoys me. I also have flat roots so I've been thinking about having my hair cut short, it's at shoulder length now. I think the cold shower tip is probably the best I've seen and deep conditioning and hot oil. Just keep i mind any chemical straightening or continuous heat straightening will damage the hair more and make it harder to go natural. :headbang: :wav: Best of wishes
  • hellohorcruxhellohorcrux Posts: 27Registered Users
    1. People in middle school are JERKS. Just, don't believe anything they say. Ever.
    2. I started CG last year around this time when I was in 8th grade and my hair is so nice now, even though I stopped CG for a month along the way. Trust me, it's really lovely and once you get to high school, there are a ton of curlies!
    3a. Hiiiigh porosity. ii density. Fine.

    Co-Wash: Suave Naturals Coconut/VO5 Tea Therapy.
    Detangle: Renpure Organics My Pretty Hair is Parched!/Suave Naturals Coconut/VO5 Tea Therapy.
    Leave-In: Aussie 3 Minute Miracle.
    Gel: LA Looks Sport or Fantasia IC Hair Polisher Styling Gel.

  • CherryBombVonnCherryBombVonn Posts: 18Registered Users
    you'll get it you'll see! here's another tutorial :D the girl in the video has the most perfect frizzless curls i have ever seen in my life! hopefully you'll find it helpful too! i'm definitely trying it now! just gotta find that straw! lol!! here enjoy :]

    YouTube - ‪Curly hair tutorial- secrets to pretty curls‬‏
    Hair Type: 3B type Curls, Thick.

    Length: BSL.


    Current Products:wen: sweet almont mint cleansing conditioner by Chaz Dean, wen: sweet almond mint Texture Balm by Chaz Dean, [FONT=&quot]TRESemme[/FONT][FONT=&quot]: [/FONT]4+4 STYLING GLAZE, pHormulate: 5s Styleblast finishing spray,[FONT=&quot]Ouidad: Climate Control[/FONT][FONT=&quot].[/FONT]

  • trymidnighttrymidnight Posts: 4Registered Users
    Okay, this is probably gonna sound a little New Age-y, but you have to "listen" to your hair and work with it, not against it. If you fight it you will be exhausted, and more often than not, you'll lose. Learn to love what you've got and realize that it's awesome because nobody else has hair exactly like yours ;)

    As for solutions, the cold rinse and CG method are great. Might I suggest henna or cassia? They're supposed to make your hair super shiny and healthy, and get rid of frizz. I'm gonna try to henna my hair soon myself.
    Hair Type: Mostly 3c with some 3b at the nape. Thick, dense, dry, and very frizz-prone. Almost shoulder length when curly, brushing APL when straight.

    CG with Aussie Moist, style with whatever gel or pomade I happen to have on hand at the moment :laughing6: (I really need to work on finding a set routine)
  • happytreefunhappytreefun Posts: 59Registered Users
    Thanks all of you guys I will definetly use the tips you gave me!
  • whirlykurlywhirlykurly Posts: 23Registered Users
    I know exactly how you feel and I have the same problem: frizzy undefined curls. I completely agree with everything the other users said. Just to make it easier, I'll pretty much sum up my tips plus the tips other users already mentioned:

    -Don't wash hair too frequently to avoid drying out hair (I wash mine once a week)
    -Use sulfate free shampoo (or try the no-poo method)
    -ALWAYS comb hair wet with a wide tooth comb to detangle
    -Rinse hair with cold water
    -Avoid towel drying hair. You can either use a diffuser or a lot of people use an old T-shirt to gently blot hair.
    -Deep-condition once a week
    -Possibly try the Ouidad method called "rake and shake". It's supposed to be a good way to define curls, but I haven't tried it yet. (Go to Ouidad.com)

    I recently found most of this out through some research, so I'm just started to make these things apart of my daily regimen. Hopefully they will help both of us.

    You mentioned you got a trim, you may want to try getting something called a "devacut" in the near future. I'm going to get one in a few weeks and it's supposed to help reduce frizz+define curls. But always make sure you go somewhere where they know how to cut curly hair. I literally have not gotten one good curly cut in my entire life, which may be contributing to my problem (I'll find out when I get a devacut in a few weeks! Fingers crossed it will help a little).

    Hope that helps!
    Hair type: Mixture of 3c/3b S waves with curls/ringlets at ends; shoulder length
    Current products-
    Cleanser: Carol's Daughter Tui shampoo (Once a week)
    Conditioner: Carol's Daughter Tui hair smoothie (Once a week)
    Leave in conditioner: Haven't found one that completely works for my hair (suggestions greatly appreciated).
    Product wishlist: KCKT + KCCC, Ouidad products, Devacurl products. :color:
  • babyblue442babyblue442 Posts: 22Registered Users
    Redken Curl Refiner (it is a leave-in cream) helps my crazy hair a lot!

    But if you're doing CG, I wouldn't use it...

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