CurlTalk

I miss my relaxer

Ms.MasonMs.Mason Posts: 15Registered Users
Is it so wrong to say that I really miss my relaxer??? and I want it again??? Did anyone every experience this and what do you do??

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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Ms.Mason wrote: »
    Is it so wrong to say that I really miss my relaxer??? and I want it again??? Did anyone every experience this and what do you do??

    There's nothing wrong with saying how you feel. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks b/c your hair is yours.

    There are drawbacks to everything and there will be moments when the grass looks greener on the other side. When I was relaxed I didn't have to spend time detangling my hair in the shower & I wasn't paranoid about using products with mineral oil, petroleum, 'cones, doing protein treatments, moisturizing, & etc (I also didn't know any better). I could comb or brush my hair dry w/o a problem. I also remember that my hair was a wreck then & no matter what I tried to do, I just couldn't get my hair to be straight enough.

    There are women who have hair that isn't in bad shape & they have great length even though they are relaxed. I was never one of them. It just never agreed with me. I love my hair the way it is right now. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

    Being natural isn't for everybody. Weigh the pros & cons of both sides and make a decision based on what works for you and how you feel. Good luck!
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    No, I've never missed my relaxer. If you want one, go get one. There's nothing wrong with that. But remember if you relax, if you decide to be natural again you have to transition all over again. Pressing your hair would be a less permanent option to see if that's what you want to do.
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    ellepixie wrote: »
    No, I've never missed my relaxer. If you want one, go get one. There's nothing wrong with that. But remember if you relax, if you decide to be natural again you have to transition all over again. Pressing your hair would be a less permanent option to see if that's what you want to do.

    that's how i feel too.
  • KeenyliciousKeenylicious Posts: 2,320Registered Users
    i went natural b/c i was totally over my relaxer and already loved & knew how to deal w/ my natural hair. i had a relaxer for less than 2 yrs before i decided i hated it, and STILL had it for 2 yrs after that, so heck no, i don't miss my relaxer.
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  • AmberBrownAmberBrown Posts: 1,072Registered Users
    Never had a relaxer so I can't miss it...never wanted one either though. If you don't want to have natural hair, then perm it. Your hair, your choice.
  • sleepymekosleepymeko Posts: 1,002Registered Users
    If you miss having a relaxer, then get on again. But think about it for at least a month or two before you get it so you won't regret it.
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  • LanishaLanisha Posts: 467Registered Users
    No it's not wrong to say that. You're expressing how you feel about something that personally affects you. I've never had a relaxer, but I did straighten my hair to the point of looking like I had one, and all the damage that comes along with it. When I first stopped pressing my hair I felt like a fish out of water, like I was walking around with two heads, and had days where I felt just--awkward. Wearing it kinky and curly was an important commitment I wanted to make for MYSELF. *So when I got the itch to straighten (which only lasted for a few weeks) I'd go on CurlyNikki and other sites that feautured *LOTS of pictures of women showing off their natural hair and celebrating it through beautiful and creative styles. I read books about hair like "Curly Girl" (second edition) *and "Curly Like Me." I sought out inspiring photos of women with hair that looked like MINE. Lastly, I made a point to be very aware of my thoughts and feelings about my hair in an effort to pinpoint what it was that was suddenly causing me to want to go back to straightening my hair when I had once been SO excited to cut it all off and fantasize about the day when I'd be able to rock a fro. It was never hard to trace the source of my sudden desire to let go of my kinky hair. I don't know if all that helps but, basically, I second what the other ladies have said about being SURE with regard to whatever you choose. Taking time to sit and think about it can only help that much more *:-)
  • SoulfulSistaSoulfulSista Posts: 159Registered Users
    I missed my relaxer after about almost 4 years of being natural so I went and got a relaxer. Two years later I did big chop #3 because that relaxer was limiting me and it was so freaking expensive to go to the salon every two weeks. If you want the relaxer, there's nothing wrong with getting one in my opinion. You just have to be willing to transition/big chop again if you end up missing your natural curls.
  • Hakim NuraldinHakim Nuraldin Posts: 1,467Registered Users
    I go through that sometimes, but when I think about what I used to put myself and my hair through, the thought of going through that again was horrifying to me. Not to mention that once you straighten the hair, you have to do something to it to make it look like something. With natural hair, there are so many choices, like a wash and go, twists, twistouts, braids, braidouts, cornrows and much more. Also permed hair never really perfectly mimics real, naturally straight hair. So for me, I don't wanna go back to that. But do you, mama. Do you.
  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    If you miss your relaxer, get your hair relaxed. I never missed relaxers. I may have missed the time it took to do a finished look, compared to now...but no, I never, ever want to relax my hair again.

    But yeah...do you.
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  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users
    For me to miss relaxers, I'd have to miss relaxer scalp burns, spending all day in a salon, and paying a ridiculous amount of money every six weeks.

    On another note, I've decided if I ever become a mother, I will not put chemicals in my daughter's hair as my mom did me. I was at a parade today and I saw a lot of little Black girls. Some had beautiful long hearlthy natural hair and others had relaxed hair that looked thin, dry, and breaking. I wanted to say something so badly to their mothers.
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  • Kinkii_LewinskiiKinkii_Lewinskii Posts: 49Registered Users
    Ewwww, creamy crack. :pukeleft: LOL! That is one thing I wont miss.



    But like the others said, if you miss it, then why not get one. It is your hair, do you, missy. :iconbiggrin:
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  • pjjosephgisspjjosephgiss Posts: 643Registered Users
    My hair was texturized so I could kinda straddle the fence- Not be fully natural, but not be bone straight. I recently BC'ed, and don't miss the chemicals (yet!). I am enjoying getting to know my hair- I havent seen it natural in over 30 years! I love pulling it out, and watching it spring back, and how I never knew my hair was dense (but thin strands) till I bc'ed....all that being said, why don't you press, or blow dry/flat iron to see if you like that, cus if you don't you can go back easier that going thru transition again. That alone is enuf to make me learn to love this interesting mix on my head!
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  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    Nope :sad3:. Not at all :afro:
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  • sweetmx85sweetmx85 Posts: 1,017Registered Users
    theres nothing wrong with saying it, or even doing it if thats really what you want. but def think about it! Last june my hair was as healthy as could be, so long close to bsl and I was trying to blow dry it out and flat iron and it was taking so long I sent my sis a picture to see how many hours had passed and little achievement because my hair was so thick, so that night she came over and relaxed it. i had to cut off so many inches right then, it regrew but was no where near as healthy or curly but again it grew to about bsl then just cut all of it off again because eventhough it grew it was breaking off and I just missed my natural hair. so if I would of thought my action through better my hair would be long and healthy and here I am starting from scratch now. so weigh it out, cause you may miss it now, but once you have it are you gonna miss being natural and regret it like I did? my sister has beautiful long relaxed hair which is why I did it cause i was like hey her hair is pretty and long why not, but it didnt work like that for me. and i missed my curls. so think about it. :) and maybe write out a list, why you want one, what made you not want one to begin with? the pros and cons of each natural and relaxed. see what matters more to you and maybe that will help you decide.
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  • BoyheadBoyhead Posts: 51Registered Users
    I'm transitioning right now and I don't miss my relaxer. But its perfectly fine to say that you do. Don't EVER feel pressured by any one (relaxed or natural) to be afraid to express yourself or what you want. Don't be swayed either way. Peer pressure can silence you or convince you to do something just because you may think it's what you want. If you want to relax again - do it. If you want to remain natural - remain it. But, remember, the choice is yours and yours alone. And whatever you decide - do it because it's what you want, not because of how you think others may view you, your decision or your hair! Good luck with whatever you decide!
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  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    For me to miss relaxers, I'd have to miss relaxer scalp burns, spending all day in a salon, and paying a ridiculous amount of money every six weeks.

    +1000. You could not pay me to go through all that mess again.

    Does caring for natural hair take time? Yes, especially once your hair grows out of the TWA stage. Is it worth it for your hair to be healthy? Definitely.
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  • DanyeleDanyele Posts: 53Registered Users
    Boyhead wrote: »
    I'm transitioning right now and I don't miss my relaxer. But its perfectly fine to say that you do. Don't EVER feel pressured by any one (relaxed or natural) to be afraid to express yourself or what you want. Don't be swayed either way. Peer pressure can silence you or convince you to do something just because you may think it's what you want. If you want to relax again - do it. If you want to remain natural - remain it. But, remember, the choice is yours and yours alone. And whatever you decide - do it because it's what you want, not because of how you think others may view you, your decision or your hair! Good luck with whatever you decide!

    I love your signature
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  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,132Registered Users
    It's just hair; it does grow back. However, I do agree with the poster that said you should figure out what it is that you miss about your relaxed hair before relaxing it. If you miss straight hair, then learn how to roller set or how to blowdry with a round brush and then flat iron. If you moisturize your hair enough, then this should be less damaging than a relaxer. But then again, maybe you had healthy relaxed hair. Then also consider what your reasons were for going natural. There is nothing wrong with your feelings. Sometimes our hair becomes wrapped up in our identity and drastic change makes us question how we see ourselves and how others see us.
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  • Ms.MasonMs.Mason Posts: 15Registered Users
    I think that sometimes I miss my relaxer, but I don't think I would probably ever get one again (knock on wood). I don't know??? I miss being able to blow dry and straighten my hair and have other girls think I had weave in because my hair was so long and thick. Some times I think that now I have better knowledge how to take care of my hair...therefore I should just go back and get a relaxer. But, then again I looovvveee my hair right now its so curly, thick and easy to do!! I guess I'm just missing it a little...I guess that's why they call it the creamy crack lmao. But, thanks everyone for all the love and just wanted to see what other people thought and what they had experienced.
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    happy to say i've never missed my relaxer. my last one was in may 1999. sometimes the grass seems greener and just like with anything being natural just gets you over to the other side. then you have to figure out what's best for you, a low maintenance or high maintenance style, long hair or shorter hair, doing it yourself or relying on a stylist....just some things to think about.
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  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    I never had a relaxer, but I didn't consider myself "natural" due to how much I burned out my hair with the pressing comb, flat-iron, curling iron, crimper, etc. Once I decided to stop burning my hair out and transition to my natural hair (it was heat damaged), I never wanted to go back.

    Maybe you should step away from your hair for a bit (braids, wig, etc) to give yourself a cooling off period before making a decision you would regret.
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  • qbc94qbc94 Posts: 41Registered Users
    Some days I miss my relaxer, too. My hair has never been bone straight even with a relaxer, so that's not what I miss about it. I think I miss that when I was relaxed I didn't have to think through what's next, as far as style or products. Some folks seem very comfortable with their natural hair, and I think that's a learning process. I'm in the middle of that process now.

    If you want to relax again, then go for it. It's only hair. :angel5:
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  • itsKelCeeEeeitsKelCeeEee Posts: 1,084Registered Users
    I'll probably get lots of dirty looks for stating this, but I have a difficult time accepting shrinkage. I was one of those people where when I had a relaxer, my hair was dope as hell; it grew quickly, I could casually cut it above shoulder length and it would grow back out like a weed. My hair reached past bra strap length for a time before I just kept getting it cut shorter and shorter. My hair still grows fast, but like most others, I don't see the length as quickly because of shrinkage, and that can feel discouraging.

    However, I know that my hair does that because that's how it's made, and since I was getting relaxers as a little girl and never got to see my true texture, I don't mind. I miss the length and I'm impatient with how long it'll take my hair to get back to that length, but I did not cut off all my hair and find out what does and doesn't work for almost a year and a half just to go back to the "creamy crack". Of course I'm one of those who feels that if it isn't working for you, go ahead and go back to a relaxer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Still though, it is best to look at less permanent solutions first.

    Good luck hun :)
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  • qbc94qbc94 Posts: 41Registered Users
    itsKelCeeEee, that was an excellent response, and an honest look at what does nag at or bother some of us about this natural walk. Shrinkage is not one of the things I readily thought about, and really have only this past week remembered that I used to have shrinkage especially if my hair got wet in the rain prior to having relaxed hair.

    I hope the OP can see that although we openly share here, we all are on an individual journey. The blessed part of the journey is that you get to choose which road you desire.
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  • PepInMyStepPepInMyStep Posts: 12Registered Users
    I agree that it's your hair and you can do you. I'm one of those naturals that really sees nothing wrong with people who relax. That's your choice, and I think there are plenty of relaxed heads with beautiful hair. BUT, have you tried to straighten your natural hair? That might be a better option, just because you won't have to keep up with the maintenance of a relaxer. Good straightening techniques can get your hair as shiny and bouncy as a relaxer can. Here's a pic of my natural, straightened hair:
    DSCF1669.JPG

    It feels as soft as it looks.
  • forbeeforbee Posts: 441Registered Users
    I'll probably get lots of dirty looks for stating this, but I have a difficult time accepting shrinkage. I was one of those people where when I had a relaxer, my hair was dope as hell; it grew quickly, I could casually cut it above shoulder length and it would grow back out like a weed. My hair reached past bra strap length for a time before I just kept getting it cut shorter and shorter. My hair still grows fast, but like most others, I don't see the length as quickly because of shrinkage, and that can feel discouraging.

    However, I know that my hair does that because that's how it's made, and since I was getting relaxers as a little girl and never got to see my true texture, I don't mind. I miss the length and I'm impatient with how long it'll take my hair to get back to that length, but I did not cut off all my hair and find out what does and doesn't work for almost a year and a half just to go back to the "creamy crack". Of course I'm one of those who feels that if it isn't working for you, go ahead and go back to a relaxer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Still though, it is best to look at less permanent solutions first.

    Good luck hun :)

    No dirty looks from me. Lol! It does take some getting used to. I don't mind my shrinkage most of the time, but there are times when I do want to show off my length and show those people who continually call my hair "short."

    But to OP, I can understand how you feel. I do get frustrated at times because my hair always takes forever to do. However, I don't really miss the relaxer per se. People always assumed that because my hair was nappy it was tough. Relaxers left a lot of bald spots on my head.

    Everyone else has good advice so anything I add would probably only be a repeat.
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    Shrinkage happens.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I agree that it's your hair and you can do you. I'm one of those naturals that really sees nothing wrong with people who relax. That's your choice, and I think there are plenty of relaxed heads with beautiful hair. BUT, have you tried to straighten your natural hair? That might be a better option, just because you won't have to keep up with the maintenance of a relaxer. Good straightening techniques can get your hair as shiny and bouncy as a relaxer can. Here's a pic of my natural, straightened hair:
    DSCF1669.JPG

    It feels as soft as it looks.

    Your hair color is very pretty.
  • PepInMyStepPepInMyStep Posts: 12Registered Users
    Thank you, Foxy!