I Am A Transitioner Traitor

LouieLouie Posts: 144Registered Users

Wow. I haven't posted a thread in foreverrrr.

Anywhoo.

Well, Ladies it looks like I am going to gracefully bow out of transitioning and becoming natural altogether. I actually just stopped in the middle of flat ironing my hair because I am tired and it's so time consuming -- my last straw has just been used.

My one year post relaxer is coming up in Feb. and I just feel like it has been all a waste of time to now realize I can't do this to myself anymore. & by 'this' I mean the emotional toll on myself of the process and transition to natural. Yes, it is very emotional. I can truthfully say my mind has been 'trained' to believe what is considered beautiful...and to my mind what is growing out of my head is not beautiful. I need to work on myself and also the true meaning of beauty as a person...then later I can say yes, I am ready to do this again with a fresh mind state.

The problem is....if I back out my family will be disappointed and I will look like a traitor. I am the one who was all for going natural at first and my spirit even convinced three of my close family members to join me. & now I am the one that's is ready to be done with it all.

How can I break to my family in a nice way that I do not want to go natural anymore?

(Yes, the ladies in my family can get very feisty, so I really don't know how to break it to them without getting any static from them.)
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Comments

  • NinjaretteNinjarette Posts: 3,982Registered Users
    Hey, Louie!
    I'm not one to try and convince someone to go natural who doesn't wanna do it, so I'm not going there. Best wishes to you, and if you decide later down your life's path that you wanna do it, then go for it.

    When it comes to deciding to go natural, you really can't "coast" on the enthusiasm of others. That "group excitement" we feel usually isn't enough to sustain when the going gets rough.

    It's a very personal decision, and when we're ready, sometimes we're able to find those who are also ready, who will walk along with us. But if they drop off the path, while we may be a little shaken/scared, we'll continue on, because our thinking is changing, and has changed. When I decided to stop relaxing my hair, wild horses could not have moved me, because I was ready to roll.

    I would tell my family the truth, and encourage them to continue on their journey, and leave it at that. I wouldn't beat myself up about it, either.


    Be true to yourself...
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  • LouieLouie Posts: 144Registered Users
    Nea wrote: »
    Hey, Louie!
    I'm not one to try and convince someone to go natural who doesn't wanna do it, so I'm not going there. Best wishes to you, and if you decide later down your life's path that you wanna do it, then go for it.

    When it comes to deciding to go natural, you really can't "coast" on the enthusiasm of others. That "group excitement" we feel usually isn't enough to sustain when the going gets rough.

    It's a very personal decision, and when we're ready, sometimes we're able to find those who are also ready, who will walk along with us. But if they drop off the path, while we may be a little shaken/scared, we'll continue on, because our thinking is changing, and has changed. When I decided to stop relaxing my hair, wild horses could not have moved me, because I was ready to roll.

    I would tell my family the truth, and encourage them to continue on their journey, and leave it at that. I wouldn't beat myself up about it, either.



    Be true to yourself...

    Thank you(: Yes, I'm just going to be honest with them in hopes of them continuing along with their journey
    Really,why not check out www.thisboardrocks.com
  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Natural hair isn't for everyone. Long transitions are not for everyone. I big chopped after three months. I wasn't about to go through all that drama. To each her own but on my worse hair day you couldn't pay me to relax.
    Yes, it's real. No, you can't touch it. :wav:
  • Ms.MasonMs.Mason Posts: 15Registered Users
    Personally I didn't transition for long. Truth is I transitioned for 3 months and then cut all my hair off. I was just tired of it and I didn't want to waste my time holding on to the relaxed hair. It's not worth it! I don't want to sound rude, but honestly I think that people who transition do all that extra work because they just aren't ready to let go of their hair. When I did my big chop my friend was like I thought you'd be scared. But, I wasn't when it was off I didn't care. But, let me tell you doing my hair is sooo easy. You only need a few ingredients. I got rid of all that hair stuff the was clogging up my bathroom. Take the leap and trust me few people ever look back!:toothy10:
  • SugarNutsSugarNuts Posts: 250Registered Users
    I went through a long transition almost 3 years ago. I did medium chop in the beginning. Then, I went through mini chops throughout the transition. You can only do what is best for you. I am fully natural. I had a baby in August. I was wearing a weave. Now, I getting my hair blow dried and flat ironed. I do wash and treat my hair. I just do not want to go through the styling process. I used to wear twist-outs faithfully. My heart is not into the process. Plus, I am functioning on minimal sleep with a new baby.

    As far as family, they will always have something to say. You just have to hold your ground with them. I also have a feisty family. I had to teach them to back off.
    Hair Type: 4a/4b Combo
    Last Relaxer: May/June 2008
    Big Chop: N/A
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  • Desired26Desired26 Posts: 8Registered Users
    You have to do what works best for you and not anyone else. You also have to be comfortable with the decision you make and be able to stand by that decision. I, and many others, can concur that it is an emotional battle. Some days I wake up to look at my hair and want to big chop, other days I feel like I should just relax and get it over with, and then there’s those few days when I look at my NG and I am truly happy with what I’ve got so far. Those are also the days when I look at my NG and I’m truly scared about going completely natural. I’m in it for the long haul (going to transition for 16 months to 2 years. 9, almost 10 months in so far).

    All in all, just be upfront and honest with your fam about your idea and don’t let anyone give an flak for it. It’s your decision and no one else’s, so there is no reason why you should feel a certain way or like a traitor. No one should make you feel any different either.
    My flaws are battle scars I wear proudly.:headbang:
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  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree with what everyone else says and I would like to add that maybe you should just give your hair and yourself a break for a while. Why not try braids, a weave, or some other protective, carefree style while you give yourself some space from you hair before you throw away 1 year of new growth?

    At the end of X amount of weeks, if you still want to give up being natural, at least you were able to step away from your hair for a bit while you looked and thought objectively at the situation.
    APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
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