Amusing things you've seen in the gym

curlylaura

Today at the gym I was next to a guy who was using the ab crunch machine. OMG. He'd loaded the weights and proceeded to crunch, but he wasn't using it properly, there was no movement from the hip and it looked like he was just slowly nodding his head. Then between sets he'd sit there and drum out whatever it was he was listening too.

It amused me while I was doing my thing.

ninja dog

Oh, so many amusements at the gym!

The old guy who wears tight clothes and compulsively checks his weight; the woman who once used the Stairmaster while wearing a long dress (ankle length); the flibbertigibbet man who considers himself an honorary trainer and offers unsolicited workout advice, but only to attractive women; the old guy who told me I wasn't working hard enough on a stationary leg weight machine and stood beside me yelling "Push! Push!" like I was having a baby; the other old guy who grunted continually while riding a bike.........where does it end?

yv0nne

I go to my school gym ..brand new, gorgeous and FREE!
I have yet to see anything super hilarious, although I'm keeping my fingers crossed so I can post in this thread ahahah

ninja dog

Oh, it's inevitable. People tend to distinguish themselves at the gym.

I know I work hard not to act as weird as I'd like.

curlylaura

I didn't see this but one of the women who works at my old gym says she saw someone straighten their hair and then go swimming.

ninja dog

I just haven't liked people at my gym as much since my boots were stolen. Everyone seems like the potential thief to me.

curlylaura

ninja dog wrote: »

I just haven't like people at my gym as much since my boots were stolen. Everyone seems like the potential thief to me.

When did that happen?

yv0nne

Reporting with: 3 days in a row at the gym .. 0 reportable hilarious activities

Also having stuff stolen from me while I'm there is my biggest fear!! I would be so mad if I were you and constantly be checking out people's footwear ahah

ninja dog

Last month, CL. I cried.

I do look at people's footwear, but the thief probably won't be dumb enough to wear my boots to the gym from which she stole them. On the other hand, you never know.

Saila

People (usually young guys) doing push ups with the form and control of a caterpillar.

ninja dog

Today an older lady put on her dark square-framed glaucoma(?) sunglasses before walking on an indoor treadmill.

yv0nne

Well .. nothing funny but the other day I was running next to a girl about my age who was beautiful. She was jogging and I swear to the good men above, the farts were coming with her every step! I almost gagged. I had to actually get off the treadmill.

ninja dog

Ew.^

I was next to a smelly old guy today. Was it pipe tobacco, or just old guy funk? I was glad when he left.

(I know, I know, someday I'll be the old smelly lady. For all I know, I already am ((dog).

nadra24

I keep seeing guys lifting weights while wearing flip flops. I hope they don't drop their dumbbells on their feet!

ninja dog

There's a lady with a deformity who regularly uses the treadmill at my gym. What's weird about her isn't her body, it's the cute little stuffed animal she carries everywhere. She doesn't seem impaired mentally, but I'm not sure why she carries the toy.

I'm not asking. It could be an anti-anxiety device. And anyway, it's cute. But it is unusual to see an adult always clutching a stuffed animal.

kat180

ninja dog wrote: »

Oh, so many amusements at the gym!

The old guy who wears tight clothes and compulsively checks his weight; the woman who once used the Stairmaster while wearing a long dress (ankle length); the flibbertigibbet man who considers himself an honorary trainer and offers unsolicited workout advice, but only to attractive women; the old guy who told me I wasn't working hard enough on a stationary leg weight machine and stood beside me yelling "Push! Push!" like I was having a baby; the other old guy who grunted continually while riding a bike.........where does it end?

OMG Im sorry but I gave myself stomach ache by laughing too much at this. I can see it all in my head.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

ninja dog

Oh, it was gross!

I wanted to say, "Who the hell are you, my obstetrician?" but the fire alarm went off and thank goodness, he was interrupted. He did, however, corner me as we were collecting our i.d. cards and say, "See? I told you to push harder."

Did I mention this guy was a total stranger who approached me while I was minding my own business, listening to my iPod, using a weight machine?

kat180

I just have this image of this crazy little old guy dancing around you going 'push! PUSH!' Lol.

I dont know why it amuses me so much but it does.

He sounds insane 'see I told you to push harder" huh!? lol

curlylaura

ninja dog wrote: »

Oh, so many amusements at the gym!

The old guy who wears tight clothes and compulsively checks his weight; the woman who once used the Stairmaster while wearing a long dress (ankle length); the flibbertigibbet man who considers himself an honorary trainer and offers unsolicited workout advice, but only to attractive women; the old guy who told me I wasn't working hard enough on a stationary leg weight machine and stood beside me yelling "Push! Push!" like I was having a baby; the other old guy who grunted continually while riding a bike.........where does it end?

Next time you see him yell "it's all you bro"

I saw someone with a cap on backwards and sunglasses balanced on top. On a recumbent bike. On a cold, windy and rainy day. Lots of logic there.

I'm sorry about your boots Ninj.

ninja dog

It's okay CL, but thanks. It happened a few weeks ago, and I'm trying not stare at everyone else's feet, looking for my boots.

Fortunately, I don't think I'd recognize the old guy if I did see him again; I worked hard at avoiding eye contact.

I like people in hats and sunglasses indoors, on a rainy day. So sensible! (kidding.)

curlylaura

ninja dog wrote: »

It's okay CL, but thanks. It happened a few weeks ago, and I'm trying not stare at everyone else's feet, looking for my boots.

Fortunately, I don't think I'd recognize the old guy if I did see him again; I worked hard at avoiding eye contact.

I like people in hats and sunglasses indoors, on a rainy day. So sensible! (kidding.)

I think they do it so they look 'sporty' and I bet they get taken off the moment they leave the gym!

ninja dog

Oh, no doubt!

System

Next time yell out, "I think it's crowning...." when he's telling you to push.

sleepyjess

Oh god that would be hilarious. ^

I dunno about you guys, but my sister pointed out to me that every time we go in the women's locker room to shower after spinning class, there is always an older lady or two who are buck-naked and rubbing lotion on their legs or arms. And she's totally right. Every time. It's never the same lady/ladies either.

Not that this bothers us too much, since it is a locker room you sort of expect nakedness, but just the consistency at which it happens is sort of funnyweird.

But I can tell you right now that I'm one of the strange people at the gym who is on the elliptical with her iPod, absentmindedly mouthing the words to the song.

ninja dog

Well, today's visit produced an OMG moment.

There I was on the elliptical, when out of nowhere, an older, not-fit-and-trim man appears on the treadmill directly in front of me. He was shirtless! There was hair, and wobbly skin, and dripping sweat, and smell, and moles, etc.

Everyone around me was flabbergasted, but I was the one stuck with a direct view. After a while, I was able to flag down a staff member, who requested that he shirt up. I was much relieved.

Then, when he finished his workout, he walked away from his treadmill leaving a mess: sweat drips, paper towels, fingerprints --- everything. And before I could warn him, another guy gets right on the germ-ship. Yuck squared.

Later, when I finished my own workout, I found a pair of yellow underpants pulled through the loop on my locker, covering my lock. They weren't mine. So, I pulled them off, dropped them on the bench, rescued my replacement boots and fled.

The [email protected]?

(I would also like to add that culturally, there is far more pressure on women to remain attractive as time passes, but man, oh, man: many, many men do not age well. At all. Tonight is one night I'll be glad to be sleeping with my dogs only. Although there was a very cute ponytailed blondie who never looked up from his stationary bike, unfortunately. Meow.)

yv0nne

Ninja .. I want to go to your gym! LOL .. sounds interesting if nothing else!!

Yesterday there was a girl on the treadmill beside me who walked with the treadmill between 1 - 2 and openly stared at me and the speed I was going while on mine. I'm not an Olympic sprinter or anything, so I'm not sure why she was so interested. I actually found it incredibly annoying .. really distracted me.

ninja dog

Was her mouth open? Did she drool? Maybe she had, you know, issues.

yv0nne

She definitely couldn't blame 'issues' for this .. she came in with a bunch of friends and was completely regular aside from the weird watching of my treadmill Oh well .. hope I gave her an interesting enough show.

ninja dog

At my old gym in Chicago (a pool), there was a lady who used to stare at my boobs. She was straight and married, too.

Later I heard she started going to a nude beach.

RenaBanana

At our college gym, there's an old professor who always comes in. He'll go to a stationary bike, pick his scabs, and proceed to eat them. :pukel:

ninja dog

That is simply vile.