pregnancy and anxiety -anyone else?

AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
For me, the anxiety is the hardest part to deal with. I would take the symptoms any day - at least they mean things are working as they should. I've been anxious about conceiving (even though it hasn't been difficult for me at all, but I worry about it way before I even try... like right now I am already thinking about conceiving #3 and how old I will be and will I still be nursing and where will I be career-wise, etc. etc. etc. Then there's the first trimester anxiety over miscarriage, then anxiety over birth defects etc. You'd think after an ultrasound that showed no problems, that would go away, but nope, I know there are things the ultrasound doesn't catch. And I have the misfortune to have one friend who lost a baby at 6 months pregnant - she didn't feel it moving one day, went in and it had died in utero. Another friend got a urinary tract infection she didn't even know about and went into premature labour at 33 weeks 2 days and has a child with a lot of delays. So I think about those things happening to me. If I feel better, I worry. If the baby hasn't moved for an hour or two, I worry. I know there are just as many worries if not more with born children, but I don't worry much about my son who is here any more, though I did during pregnancy.

I'm also anxious about after the baby - losing weight, and balancing nursing, sleepless nights and having two with the fact that I'll be working within 6 weeks or so. And I am a little worried about gender disappointment too, and the fact that if this is a boy, I'll feel REALLY pressured to try for a girl for #3, and trying for a girl can make conception harder so then I'll probably worry about that too.

I think my problem is too much information about all the negatives and the risk factors for various issues and everything that can go wrong. I would love one or two more children after this one, but mentally I dread the nine months of emotional torture even more than the sickness, fatigue, childbirth etc. I'll likely be into my mid-30s by the time that happens and of course there are tons of horror stories about having children at that age. Anyone else relate?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali




  • M2LRM2LR Curl Connoisseur Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Honestly, what you are feeling is somewhat normal, and I think that some of that stuff you can do enough self talk to realize its either 1) not time to worry about it yet, 2) there is no point in worrying so much because you have no control over it.

    Worrying about #3 right now seems futile to don't even know if you are going to have to try for a girl. You could be having a girl right now. Personally, I'd put this out of my mind all together. I'd worry after #2 arrives, and even then, I'd focus more on that baby and balancing everything. I'd be too busy to think about #3.

    The other stuff, U/S, getting infections, premature labor, blah blah blah is normal as well, but I am sure that if you did find out that the baby had a problem, you'd keep it, right? If you had an infection, you'd visit a doctor and get it resolved, and if you went into premature labor, I am sure you have a plan for that as well. Some of these you really have no control over, though. And, I am always told that worrying about things you can't control is a waste of energy.

    Worrying about balancing life and two kids is valid, esp if you are returning to work after 6 weeks. But again, I think I know you well enough to assume that you will have a plan in place as to how this may work. Getting two kids to nap at the same time, dividing your time between the two, etc yeah, it's hard. But, you do it.

    I remember having the same anxities when I was pregnant with #2, and when she arrived, I just kinda did it. I didn't really have a specific plan other than a general plan of how I was going to do it all. I was home with her for 6 months prior to returning to work, so it gave me time to get schedules in tune as well.
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I've been very anxious this pregnancy. I feel like a crazy person who can't relax. I've decided to stop reading things about pregnancy and birth for a bit because it is just making me stress out more.

    I hope you start feeling better.
  • DelmaDelma Posts: 1,121Registered Users
    Didn't know you were pregnant again congrats Iris!!!

    I would suggest not reading stuff that stresses you out too Amneris , I personally avoid things that aren't positive.
  • MagooMagoo Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,173Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't think my nerves can handle another pregnancy. Unfortunately due to bad experiences, I'm a HUGE worrywort when I'm pregnant. I've had 2 miscarriages (one at 13 weeks) and spotted/bled through the entire first trimester of my last pregnancy so my nerves were shot by the time I finally gave birth. I worried if I didn't feel pregnant enough, if I felt too pregnant, if the baby didn't move enough or if he moved too much. I was driving myself crazy.
    It's normal to worry and when you've personally had a pregnancy scare or know someone who has. I think it makes it more real. I found that staying away from pregnancy boards helped me to keep my sanity. Everytime someone in my birth club or board lost a baby or had something scary happen, I'd freak out for days, so after going through that a couple of times I just stopped visiting those pregnancy groups.
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
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