So I Met A Really Nice Man...

LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
I met him thru work. He is a patient. We talked on the phone tonight for an hour and we have so much in common. We are looking for the same things. I invited him to New Years Eve at my daughter's house. We decided to hang out as friends and see if we want it to be more. This was my idea.:rabbit: I'm such a run away dater. I think I really like him and want to take a chance on this. Wish me luck. I'll let you all know how it goes.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
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Comments

  • HappycurlsHappycurls Posts: 188Registered Users
    Best of luck! As a fellow run away dater, I would agree with the idea to take it slow. And (this is important!), communicate! If you start to feel things are moving too fast, talk to him and tell him, rather than bailing.

    Have fun! :)
  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Novice
    Have fun and good luck! Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

    Don Langrick
    Bonsai Culturist
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,406Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.

    ? Does he, and why would he have to know about it?
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Josephine wrote: »
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.

    ? Does he, and why would he have to know about it?

    Because I was always under the impression that people couldn't date patients :dontknow: Even if it's not finding about it from Lotsa instead of the grapevine could possibly prevent problems later.
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-2027-1364839025-19.gif
  • misspammisspam Posts: 5,318Registered Users
    Josephine wrote: »
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.

    ? Does he, and why would he have to know about it?

    Personal integrity and professional ethics, for starters.

    The Dr. does have a practice to run, after all. Say the relationship doesn't work out, or it ends badly. The patient may feel uncomfortable coming to the office anymore because of Lotsa, and he may decide to take his business elsewhere.

    Keeping work and dating separate is a good policy, imo.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    misspam wrote: »
    Josephine wrote: »
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.

    ? Does he, and why would he have to know about it?

    Personal integrity and professional ethics, for starters.

    The Dr. does have a practice to run, after all. Say the relationship doesn't work out, or it ends badly. The patient may feel uncomfortable coming to the office anymore because of Lotsa, and he may decide to take his business elsewhere.

    Keeping work and dating separate is a good policy, imo.
    ita
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    The doc knows and he was actually the one who encouraged me to go out with the man. They have mutual friends and have started playing tennis and ping pong on the weekends. The doc said he wanted to check him out before I went out with him. He gave me his approval, so I thought I'd take a chance.

    I think that if we start off as just friends hanging out, then if we decide not to take it further we will still be ok.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    misspam wrote: »
    Josephine wrote: »
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    Your boss is pretty awesome to let you date the patients.

    ? Does he, and why would he have to know about it?

    Personal integrity and professional ethics, for starters.

    The Dr. does have a practice to run, after all. Say the relationship doesn't work out, or it ends badly. The patient may feel uncomfortable coming to the office anymore because of Lotsa, and he may decide to take his business elsewhere.

    Keeping work and dating separate is a good policy, imo.

    Yea, what she said ...... my post came out much less eloquently
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-2027-1364839025-19.gif
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    g/l lotsa!
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • misspammisspam Posts: 5,318Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The doc knows and he was actually the one who encouraged me to go out with the man. They have mutual friends and have started playing tennis and ping pong on the weekends. The doc said he wanted to check him out before I went out with him. He gave me his approval, so I thought I'd take a chance.

    I think that if we start off as just friends hanging out, then if we decide not to take it further we will still be ok.

    That very well may be true. Only time will tell. There is still the very high possibility that things may not go as you envision though, which is why mixing dating and work are not the best policy, imo.

    I personally would not be OK with my boss screening possible suitors and giving me his approval like he's my father, or something. That strikes me as weird and too close for comfort for my taste. It oogs me out, actually......
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    The boss knows he can't have her, so the next best...
    lotsa may get mad at me for that & that's ok, ya know ole wile e can take it.....:silent:
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    misspam wrote: »
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The doc knows and he was actually the one who encouraged me to go out with the man. They have mutual friends and have started playing tennis and ping pong on the weekends. The doc said he wanted to check him out before I went out with him. He gave me his approval, so I thought I'd take a chance.

    I think that if we start off as just friends hanging out, then if we decide not to take it further we will still be ok.

    That very well may be true. Only time will tell. There is still the very high possibility that things may not go as you envision though, which is why mixing dating and work are not the best policy, imo.

    I personally would not be OK with my boss screening possible suitors and giving me his approval like he's my father, or something. That strikes me as weird and too close for comfort for my taste. It oogs me out, actually......

    I should have added a smiley about the doc checking him out. It was said in jest by him, but he did tell me that he was a very nice man and had a good head on his shoulders.

    How do you feel about people dating coworkers? I think in both situations it can be risky. I'm curious what you would do if you met someone very special, but he was either a patient, client, or coworker. Would you not take a risk?
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    The thing is, Lotsa, every guy you post about is someone special.

    As for me, I never dated coworkers. If I worked at a huge place, with thousands of employees, I might've dated someone who worked there too but in a different area, someone with whom I never had to interact at work. I certainly wouldn't have dated a patient or a client.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • rileybrileyb Posts: 1,975Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The doc knows and he was actually the one who encouraged me to go out with the man. They have mutual friends and have started playing tennis and ping pong on the weekends. The doc said he wanted to check him out before I went out with him. He gave me his approval, so I thought I'd take a chance.

    So you involve your boss in your dating life and then you complain that he is unprofessional and too involved in your personal life in previous posts? Seems like you are sending mixed messages. You and your boss seem to have a very odd relationship and it doesn't seem to be one-sided.
    I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    Lotsa, what do you do at the doctor's office? I think there are a lot of moral issues with a doctor dating a patient (current, past, or future). But I don't have a problem with someone else who works in the office dating a patient of the doctors. I don't think people need to avoid dating everyone they may ever come in contact with if it ends badly. Are you not going to date someone you met in the grocery store because if it ends badly then he might be too uncomfortable to go buy groceries and starve to death? I didn't think so.

    But on the topic of your boss the doctor, if you're complaining about him being involved in your personal life then don't involve him in your personal life. You can't have it both ways. You clearly have invited him into this relationship, so don't be upset that he takes you up on the offer and sticks his nose in.
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    The man brought me up to the doc and asked if I was single or seeing anyone. That's how the doc got involved.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The man brought me up to the doc and asked if I was single or seeing anyone. That's how the doc got involved.

    I guess if this man saw you and the doctor interacting in a very personal (instead of professional) way, then maybe this could be considered "cute". Like if you were out with some friends and a guy was flirting with you, and in front of you turned to your friend and said something like "Isn't she great? Whaddya think, should I ask her out" in a joking way.

    Otherwise, this makes me think the guy is a total misogynist and a douche bag. Who does that? Jerks, that's who. Jerks who have no respect for your opinion or your rights or your autonomy. If he wanted to know if you were single, he should have asked you. Or he should have just asked you out, and let you tell him no if you were in a relationship. Any guy who you describe as he "brought me up to the doc" is a controlling misogynist in my opinion. Seriously, guys don't "bring me" anywhere unless I've previously agreed to the situation (such as agreeing to dinner, and him picking em up).


    But regardless of how it happened, the doc has been invited into your personal relationship. That sucks if you don't want him in your personal business, because he's there now!
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • misspammisspam Posts: 5,318Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    misspam wrote: »
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The doc knows and he was actually the one who encouraged me to go out with the man. They have mutual friends and have started playing tennis and ping pong on the weekends. The doc said he wanted to check him out before I went out with him. He gave me his approval, so I thought I'd take a chance.

    I think that if we start off as just friends hanging out, then if we decide not to take it further we will still be ok.

    That very well may be true. Only time will tell. There is still the very high possibility that things may not go as you envision though, which is why mixing dating and work are not the best policy, imo.

    I personally would not be OK with my boss screening possible suitors and giving me his approval like he's my father, or something. That strikes me as weird and too close for comfort for my taste. It oogs me out, actually......

    I should have added a smiley about the doc checking him out. It was said in jest by him, but he did tell me that he was a very nice man and had a good head on his shoulders.

    How do you feel about people dating coworkers? I think in both situations it can be risky. I'm curious what you would do if you met someone very special, but he was either a patient, client, or coworker. Would you not take a risk?

    If this hypothetical special person were a client or a patient, my answer would be no. I would not date them. Professional ethics would prevent me from doing so.

    Co-workers are only slightly different. Even if your place of employment does not expressly forbid dating amongst co-workers, there are still risks involved. First and foremost for myself is the huge potential for other people in the company knowing my personal business. Smaller offices such as where you work have an even greater potential for encroaching into my personal life.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SpiralliSpiralli Posts: 3,683Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    While the patient asked the doc about Lotsa's dating/commitment status, the doc should have been professional enough to say something like "I don't get involved in my employees personal lives; ask her yourself." or at the very least "I'm not sure..." Doc would have lied in either case, obviously, but it's never too late for him to try acting more professionally for his employees' and patients' sake. JMO.

    I agree that it can be awkward for the patient, regardless of whether things go well or not. As a patient, I wouldn't want anyone in a doctor's office knowing my personal business.

    Best wishes, Lotsa!
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,406Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    How do you feel about people dating coworkers? I think in both situations it can be risky. I'm curious what you would do if you met someone very special, but he was either a patient, client, or coworker. Would you not take a risk?

    I would take the risk if I thought it was worth it. I know 2 married couples that met at work. Also for me it's much easier finding a job than a guy. PH has a point though, you seem to think most guys are different...
  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Novice
    I met my husband at work but we didn't actually date while we worked together. We started dating about a week into my two-week notice and we never worked in the same branch office. I don't think coworkers dating is necessarily a bad thing.

    Dating your own patient would definitely be a conflict of interest. Aren't there laws or regulations against doctors dating patients? The grey area would be someone who only works with patients peripherally (i.e. Lotsawaves) dating them. If I were a dentist, I wouldn't want my employees dating the patients. It's too easy for something like that to go south and then the patient finds a new dentist. But I'm not a dentist so whatever.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

    Don Langrick
    Bonsai Culturist
  • sew and sewsew and sew Posts: 3,443Registered Users
    Who Me? wrote: »
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The man brought me up to the doc and asked if I was single or seeing anyone. That's how the doc got involved.

    I guess if this man saw you and the doctor interacting in a very personal (instead of professional) way, then maybe this could be considered "cute". Like if you were out with some friends and a guy was flirting with you, and in front of you turned to your friend and said something like "Isn't she great? Whaddya think, should I ask her out" in a joking way.

    Otherwise, this makes me think the guy is a total misogynist and a douche bag. Who does that? Jerks, that's who. Jerks who have no respect for your opinion or your rights or your autonomy. If he wanted to know if you were single, he should have asked you. Or he should have just asked you out, and let you tell him no if you were in a relationship. Any guy who you describe as he "brought me up to the doc" is a controlling misogynist in my opinion. Seriously, guys don't "bring me" anywhere unless I've previously agreed to the situation (such as agreeing to dinner, and him picking em up).


    But regardless of how it happened, the doc has been invited into your personal relationship. That sucks if you don't want him in your personal business, because he's there now!

    That may prove to be a valuable insight, but for the sake of argument (and because this is intriguing to me to explore), what kind of impression would it leave you with if the genders were switched in this scenerio?

    A woman has a friendly relationship with her female dentist. One of the men who works in the office has caught her eye. She realizes the two of them have a friendly rapport. She decides she'll explore whether this guy is seeing anyone by asking her dentist, before taking a step further. Controlling?
    “It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    How do you feel about people dating coworkers?

    Having been there, done that, dating a coworker is probably something I wouldn't recommend. We were fine working together, but it created problems for our boss with regard to granting time off (small staff), having the ability to treat us as separate workers rather than one unit, and ending our employment there altogether. Also, the boss occasionally made comments about our private life that we felt were inappropriate.

    As for dating patients or clients, I agree there's a potential for it to get messy for your employer. But in this case you seem to have his blessing, Lotsa, so good luck! :thumbright:
  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    I really don't see the big deal about an office assistant dating a patient, especially if the boss is ok with it. I do see the point about potentially losing a patient if things go south, but that's really up to the boss. It's not like lotsa has been dating patients left and right.

    On another note, today one of my supervising physicians asked me what my status was and offered to set me up with one of her husband's friends if she can find one she likes who is single. I told her I'd welcome the chance to meet someone outside of work for once!
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Thanks for all the input. There is a lot to think about, but I'm keeping it simple. He seems very nice and my boss is OK with me going out with him. We have both decided that we will be friends first and see how it goes. If I reject him or if he rejects me, then I feel that it would be very immature on both parts for it to affect the doc's professional and friendship relationship. I don't really know him and I NEVER said he was special. I said "what if you met someone who you felt was special", etc, etc.

    I haven't met anyone special in a very long time. I have met some men, but I haven't felt the spark and haven't wanted to pursue a relationship. OK, I felt a spark for the younger man I met recently, but that wasn't in my comfort zone. I knew in my heart and brain that, that wasn't going to go anywhere. I'm not into roller coaster rides.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    I don't see the big deal about him asking the doc. I'm sure it just slipped out of his mouth.

    The real question is : how old is he? :blob4:


    Good luck!
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    He's 4 years older.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Well, at least you know he takes care of his teeth (I recall that being an issue in your assessment of the available man-pool).

    I wouldn't give two hoots about a dental office person dating a patient. It doesn't seem like a conflict of interest at all, to me. However, I wouldn't involve the dentist in any dating plans.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,751Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I wish the dentist wasn't involved, but since they have befriended each other, he will involve himself.:goofy: I think it would be different if I worked in a large office, but it's just the doc and I. AND no, Wile, the doc is NOT interested in me.

    He does have good teeth, according to the dentist. I know it probably sounds shallow that that is important to me, but I work in the dental industry, so I look at teeth. I have a friend who is a dental hygienist and is the same way. She also wouldn't date men with thinning hair. The hair thing doesn't bother me. I liked Telly Savalas and Yul Brynner.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • quickcurlquickcurl Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    Good luck!!! If anything, you'll gain a friend and that's never a bad thing.
    "It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
    "Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
    "After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
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