Does anyone else feel sort of differant?

curlycat_14curlycat_14 Registered Users Posts: 17
So, I've been feeling kind of bad about my hair reccently. Some girls have said things about how "curly" it is and don't I hate it? (I'm only a 3b BTW) Usually I don't let that kind of thing get me down, but when I look around all the other girls have straight hair and I dont...Most of the time I really like being differant/indivual. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt like this?
Currently loving: The Devacurl Line, Ecosytler Krystal, Suave Natural Coconut Conditioner, Duckbill Clips, Baking Soda Cleanses, and ACV Rinses.

CG since July 2010!
A horseback riding, curly who loves to read :read2:

Comments

  • CrazzyCurlsCrazzyCurls Registered Users Posts: 6
    I feel that way all the time. Most times, i can look around my classroom/Hallway, and not see a single curly. It really does make me feel different, but i'm glad for the unique-ness. Everyone else is the same, boring, old, flat hair. On the other hand, we have bouncy, alive, beautiful hair!

    I wouldn't let it get to you. Curly hair is what sets us apart.

    I have gotten some pretty rude comments, but most of them are really nice!
    Like this one girl, who always calls me curly-top, will walk up almost everyday and say "I love your hair!! Its so curly!" And then will boing a curl. It really makes me feel good about my hair.

    All of my friends have straight/barley wavy hair and always say they are jealous of me. It's really funny, because there is this one girl with hardly wavy hair that sometimes trys to 'scrunch' it. She uses way to much gel, and then she brags about her one single 'curl' hidden under her canopy of crunchy hair, and i just sorta stand there going 'Yup! that one awesome WAVE is really pretty! Mhmm....:thumbleft:" And that 'curl' she talks about? It can barley pass for a wave! It just goes to show you that most girls are envious of our head of curls. :)
    Shampoo- Giovanni TTTT Invigorating, Dessert Essence Organic Coconut
    Cowash/condish- Suave Naturals Coconut and Apple, Dessert Essense Coconut, Giovanni Direct leave-in
    Styling- Eco Styler gel (White), L.A. Sport gel
  • RimiRimi Registered Users Posts: 2,001 Curl Neophyte
    So, I've been feeling kind of bad about my hair reccently. Some girls have said things about how "curly" it is and don't I hate it? (I'm only a 3b BTW) Usually I don't let that kind of thing get me down, but when I look around all the other girls have straight hair and I dont...Most of the time I really like being differant/indivual. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt like this?

    Hmm, well I'd say that you also have a stigma against certain types of curly/kinky hair. You said that some girls ask you if you hated your curls, and then threw in the fact that you're "only a 3B". Saying this suggests to me that you think 3B or below is nice or okay but 3C or above is unattractive and therefore deserving of condemnation. Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it. Maybe you can elaborate on what you meant by that statement.

    But with regards to the insults and rude comments, people will have their opinions. Some people genuinely don't like curly/kiny/wavy hair and that's fine! Some people don't like straight hair and that's fine as well! However, I think that when you are presented with these questions and comments, you should just ignore them. Or at least come back with a witty remark ;). A girl rudely says "yikes, your hair is so...curly *shudder*" and you could say "oh my gosh! Thanks for noticing!" and be on your way!

    The best way to deal with rude people is to shut them up quick. If you show the world how much you love your hair, your feelings will be reciprocated.

    P.S. If that's you in your avatar picture, the girls at your school are delusional: your hair is GORGEOUS!
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

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  • SailaSaila Registered Users Posts: 1,212 Curl Neophyte
    It's possible that she asks you "don't you hate it?" because the fact of the matter is, a lot of girls DO hate their curly hair, often because they are uneducated about hair and don't know what it needs. It doesn't necessarily mean that she didn't like your hair. Not that it matters. :thumbleft:

    Side note: Please, do NOT feel bad about your hair. Trust me, it's a waste of time. I am now a sophomore in college and I wish I had embraced my hair earlier. I was okay in high school, but I hated it in junior high. In high school, I wore a ponytail every day out of convenience. I had figured out how to take care of my hair, but I never had the boldness to wear it down because it was "too big." Girls told me alllll the time how much they loved my hair but I never understood wtf they were talking about. I've had several friends who have wanted to trade hair with me. I used to say "you can have it!" instead of actually accepting the complement. The sooner you start taking care of your curls the better they will be.

    Good luck with everything! Don't let anyone get you down. :)
  • Zelda8555Zelda8555 Registered Users Posts: 9
    Sort of.I'm black so living in a community where natural hair isn't appreciated is pretty difficult and hard to fit into. I chose to stop relaxing my hair because I love curly hair and if I wanted to ever straighten i'd get the best of both! But to answer your question yes,I feel different. I see about 8 girls with curly/wavy hair out of 1000 students and I'm the only (full) black girl with natural hair. But don't feel bad, anyone who says rude things about your hair is obviously jealous.Tons of ppl would die to have any shape to their hair naturally.I guess we're just lucky!:mrgreen:
  • sleepyjesssleepyjess Registered Users Posts: 297
    After approximately 5 million years, in which I taught myself to accept my hair, I am doing okay and usually feel like the curls make me look sweet and charming and quirky. But I definitely have days when I am feeling exhausted with my arduous routine, and wish I had hair like my brother or sister, with is thick and wonderful and wavy-straight and looks great when they hop out of bed. So I totally know where you're coming from.

    Remember that you are unique, but that doesn't mean you should feel somehow isolated from everyone else because of your hair. We all have our quirks, and there are always days when we feel like we wish we didn't, which is why you should self-medicate with chocolate and a good movie.

    And if people make snide comments about the gorgeousness growing out of your scalp, then follow them until you figure out where they live and then give them a perm while they're sleeping.
    Oregon curly!
    Fine hair; weighed down easily; high porosity; prone to flyaways & The Bedhead Look
    2b? (or not 2b? Heehee.)
    Mod-CG since Nov '10
    Cowash: VO5 Calming Chamomile
    RO: Desert Essences Coconut
    Gel: Pantene Curls Gel, LALSG
    http://public.fotki.com/sleepyjess/ (updated: 5.28.11)

    "She may be afraid of trees. But when push comes to shove, she won't let you drink the shampoo. No matter how good it smells."

    :faroah:Visit me! http://nakedsquid.blogspot.com
  • RimiRimi Registered Users Posts: 2,001 Curl Neophyte
    sleepyjess wrote: »
    After approximately 5 million years, in which I taught myself to accept my hair, I am doing okay and usually feel like the curls make me look sweet and charming and quirky. But I definitely have days when I am feeling exhausted with my arduous routine, and wish I had hair like my brother or sister, with is thick and wonderful and wavy-straight and looks great when they hop out of bed. So I totally know where you're coming from.

    Remember that you are unique, but that doesn't mean you should feel somehow isolated from everyone else because of your hair. We all have our quirks, and there are always days when we feel like we wish we didn't, which is why you should self-medicate with chocolate and a good movie.

    And if people make snide comments about the gorgeousness growing out of your scalp, then follow them until you figure out where they live and then give them a perm while they're sleeping.

    Bahahahahaha! Bingo :D
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • RimiRimi Registered Users Posts: 2,001 Curl Neophyte
    sleepyjess wrote: »
    After approximately 5 million years, in which I taught myself to accept my hair, I am doing okay and usually feel like the curls make me look sweet and charming and quirky. But I definitely have days when I am feeling exhausted with my arduous routine, and wish I had hair like my brother or sister, with is thick and wonderful and wavy-straight and looks great when they hop out of bed. So I totally know where you're coming from.

    Remember that you are unique, but that doesn't mean you should feel somehow isolated from everyone else because of your hair. We all have our quirks, and there are always days when we feel like we wish we didn't, which is why you should self-medicate with chocolate and a good movie.

    And if people make snide comments about the gorgeousness growing out of your scalp, then follow them until you figure out where they live and then give them a perm while they're sleeping.

    Bahahahahaha! Bingo :D
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • kashlykashly Registered Users Posts: 57
    Curly Cat :) our hair is BEAUTIFUL!!! People pay hundreds of dollars to acheive what we grow naturally and that is definitely something to be proud of! Trust me the people who say those types of things are the people who are either jealous of our curls (or our ability to rock our natural texture while they must straighten and blow dry and what not) or are insecure about their own flatness. For SIX YEARS I straightened my hair every week and NEVER wore my hair curly ( I didnt know how!!) and for six years I hated my curly hair because I thought it was bushy and ugly and unmanageable but how wrong I was!!! Every week Id straighten my curls and every now and then I'd find a curl and admire it beauty... then straighten it. It was terrible! Then one day I was reading a hair article and the hair stylist said "People that use flat irons are people who haven't learned how to work with their natural texture yet" (or something along those lines) and its so true! Finally a bit more than a year ago I stopped straightening and embraced my curls and I have never been happier with my hair :) Its so unique! I look around school and see nothing but straight hair and then I look at myself and thank god that Im not like everyone else! How BORING!!! Even in college its seems like EVERYONE straightens their hair and its ridiculous! Curls are awesome and beautiful and unique and anyone who has them should be PROUD to have them and should laugh at the haters who are jealous and try to bring them down. From what I can tell in your picture you are an absolutely beautiful girl with gorgeous hair so embrace your hair differences because thats what makes you so much more beautiful than the rest :love5:
    Curls are beautiful <3
  • XJessXJess Registered Users Posts: 4
    The thing about curls is that have the potential to look dreadfully awful, if you dont take care of them or amazingly beautiful if you treat them right.

    About feeling different. Who wants to feel the same as everyone; how depressing! Curls look so awesome. Dont listen to fools.
  • curlyKekecurlyKeke Registered Users Posts: 2
    YES!! I always feel like people look at me differently in the halls at school. Everyone else has straight hair but straightening my hair takes sooooo long! And even when I do it just looks too puffy and not as good as my curly hair.
  • Lotsa loopsLotsa loops Registered Users Posts: 130
    I actually go to a school where I'm not the only curly girl - but all the other curlies use cones and sulfates and have perfect hair DAY after DAY after DAY (or so it looks, but I know it's not healthy), and it makes it hard to stick to my method!
    Hair Type: I was thinking thick, fine 3A, but honestly I have no clue! I do know I have a super flat top, and frizz on the sides.
    No - Poo Shampoo: Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo
    Conditioner: Burt's Bees More Moisture Condish
    Products: Kiss My Face Upper Management Gel, AG Recoil Curl Activator
  • SailaSaila Registered Users Posts: 1,212 Curl Neophyte
    I actually go to a school where I'm not the only curly girl - but all the other curlies use cones and sulfates and have perfect hair DAY after DAY after DAY (or so it looks, but I know it's not healthy), and it makes it hard to stick to my method!

    It's possible to have healthy hair while using 'cones and sulfates. CG is not for everyone. You just gotta find what works for you!

    Don't stick to a method just for the sake of it. Be open to experimenting and learning what your hair likes.

    Best of luck!
  • CurliesFTW_xoCurliesFTW_xo Registered Users Posts: 111
    So, I've been feeling kind of bad about my hair reccently. Some girls have said things about how "curly" it is and don't I hate it? (I'm only a 3b BTW) Usually I don't let that kind of thing get me down, but when I look around all the other girls have straight hair and I dont...Most of the time I really like being differant/indivual. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt like this?

    Im feeling this.
    I felt like this for 6 years. And did everything possible in the book just to get my hair perfectly straight all the time. Im a 3a and ive used a relaxer on my hair before! I used to hate my curly hair, and looking around and seeing all the sleek hair styles just got me down. Until three years ago i had enough when i realised my hair was breaking (LITERALLY). I just started thinking, why the hell should i not get the chance to feel good with my natural hair?!
    Forget them.
    Thats what i did, and now everyone compliments my hair :)

    Naturally brunette but dyed hair, dark brown ( nearly black ) in November 2010.Trying to grow to WL but only past SL atm. Currently not CO washing and using Pantenes shampoo. Styling: Schwarzkopf ultimate repair serum with total ends repair. Also use Aussies 3 miracle worker from time to time. 3B,bouncy ringlets,medium thickness,strands are neither fine nor coarse,dry,low elasticity ( when wet, but high elasticity when dry ) and proud to be a curly!
  • billiebee123billiebee123 Registered Users Posts: 7
    i hate looking at all of my friends and being the only curly...
    getting ready to go out is frustrating because i need all of my products... and they are ready in like 5 minutes.
    BUT REMEMBER. we can straighten ours... theirs will NEVER look this luciously curly :]
    "As a matter of fact, I rather feel
    like expressing myself now."
    ~ Audrey Hepburn
  • SailaSaila Registered Users Posts: 1,212 Curl Neophyte
    i hate looking at all of my friends and being the only curly...
    getting ready to go out is frustrating because i need all of my products... and they are ready in like 5 minutes.
    BUT REMEMBER. we can straighten ours... theirs will NEVER look this luciously curly :]


    Many curlies of all types can get ready in 5 minutes too. :farao: It just takes time and experience to figure out what works.
  • LittlePetRockLittlePetRock Registered Users Posts: 5
    I'm the only curly at my school too. :( Everyone calls me 'Kinky'. I HATED my curls in middle school... until one day I showed up at school with my hair pinstraight and no one recognized me! Everyone hated my hair straight, and said it was totally out of character! My best friend even begged me to go in the bathroom and wash my hair back to the curls!
    I'm a freshman now and I have come to accept my hair the way it is. It fits my funky and eccentric personality. Though I'm called Kinky, I smile and wear the kinks with pride!!

    Now I can't wait to go CG/no-poo and wait for my curls to really take off!
    Thingy.gif
  • plush93plush93 Registered Users Posts: 16
    OMG dont change... its horriable :sad10: (a for extra emphasis lol) i kind of sorta knew i had curly hair but it never really dawned on me cas my mom always combed it out into this ugly greasy frizz monkey :munky2: and all i can remember thinking in middle school is how i wanted straight hair like literally everyone in my school...so we got it straightened..which the man knew nothing of how to do my hair (it took him six hrs. continously washing drying, rolling my hair, then repeating) but i loved the look except it was to expensive so she didnt take me again... i tried doing my own hair and broke it off badly within a year... so now ive been through the worst hair history ever..and i really want my little springy curls back.badly :banghead: instead of the short straight stringy damaged hair at which the girls at my school (who own it) call beautiful... point is dont change what u want on yourself FOR ANYBODY.. cas i know i regret it.. now i have to transition and its way harder with some straight some wavy from the perm and the little curls at my roots
    ITS DRIVING ME NUTS :sad6:
  • missabryhortenmissabryhorten Registered Users Posts: 6
    When you walk down the hall and not see a single curly, embrace it! Not very many people are blessed with such beautiful hair. Many girls daily tell me I'm lucky to have naturally curly hair. I admit, it does suck that you have to straighten your hair to do some styles that some people can do in 5 minutes. Curls are beautiful...not a flaw.
    Garnier Fructis Curl Sculping Cream-Gel=AMAZING!
    I want my hair to look pretty...not frizzy.
    I straigten my bangs or pull them up
    I <3 my curls....just not always.
    3b/a hairtype
    <3
  • 2Ccurlychic2Ccurlychic Registered Users Posts: 1
    i completely understand what your feeling, most of my friends at school either have naturally straight or straighten there hair into a crisp. ive worn my hair natural for about a year now and it still feels akward with curly hair in a school of straighties.:sad7:
  • LadyRaeLadyRae Registered Users Posts: 160
    I love how I stand out at school. But yes, I do have days where I feel different (in a bad way) from everyone else. I remember back in '09 when I BC'd right before the start of my jr yr, I had never seen anyone natural (not in person, full black, or not from my town). But since I've cut mine, I've seen 2 girls that have went natural (don't know if it was because of me, or b/c it actually is starting to become a fad, or for their own personal reasons or what).

    And ugh! There's this stupid guy in my class, "Mark" that calls me Fro. I effin hate that! I ignore him, and then he reaches over and taps me to get my attention. It's like he actually thinks that's my name. :ncool: He knows I hate it, too. It pisses me off cuz he started it as a joke w/ him an his friends. Should I be bothered by this??? :angry5:
    CoMpLeTeLy NaPpTuRaL SiNcE 7/21/09:headbang:

    :scratch:Still figuring things out...Help Wanted

    Come to my planet(Not really about hair, but still worth a visit!)!

    http://www.ohsolovelyrae.tumblr.com
  • tbabyytbabyy Registered Users Posts: 570
    I mean its like that sometimes. Boys will be boys and some people just don't understand that natural thing. Everybody has their own reasons for going natural but all most people see is "nappy" hair. I look, turn away and keep it moving.
    b04fbffc-52c8-49d6-a7f1-77140040642d.jpg

    LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY! :toothy7:
  • LadyRaeLadyRae Registered Users Posts: 160
    tbabyy wrote: »
    I mean its like that sometimes. Boys will be boys and some people just don't understand that natural thing. Everybody has their own reasons for going natural but all most people see is "nappy" hair. I look, turn away and keep it moving.

    Me too. It's been almost 2yrs, I've just learned to ignore. I even kinda like when people disapprove of my hair. And it's funny how I hear people criticize me on my hair, and everyone talks about being "different" from everyone else, yet they're all wanting to straighten their hair. Not that straight hair is a bad thing, just a little hypocritical how you wanna be so different, but when you meet someone that actually is in a way, you act like you're better than them.
    CoMpLeTeLy NaPpTuRaL SiNcE 7/21/09:headbang:

    :scratch:Still figuring things out...Help Wanted

    Come to my planet(Not really about hair, but still worth a visit!)!

    http://www.ohsolovelyrae.tumblr.com
  • curlycat_14curlycat_14 Registered Users Posts: 17
    Thanks everyone for your kind replies! I was having an insecure moment...But I'm over it and I love my hair more than ever! (I actually got my product routine down)
    Currently loving: The Devacurl Line, Ecosytler Krystal, Suave Natural Coconut Conditioner, Duckbill Clips, Baking Soda Cleanses, and ACV Rinses.

    CG since July 2010!
    A horseback riding, curly who loves to read :read2:
  • curlycat_14curlycat_14 Registered Users Posts: 17
    RiMiDa wrote: »
    So, I've been feeling kind of bad about my hair reccently. Some girls have said things about how "curly" it is and don't I hate it? (I'm only a 3b BTW) Usually I don't let that kind of thing get me down, but when I look around all the other girls have straight hair and I dont...Most of the time I really like being differant/indivual. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt like this?

    Hmm, well I'd say that you also have a stigma against certain types of curly/kinky hair. You said that some girls ask you if you hated your curls, and then threw in the fact that you're "only a 3B". Saying this suggests to me that you think 3B or below is nice or okay but 3C or above is unattractive and therefore deserving of condemnation. Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it. Maybe you can elaborate on what you meant by that statement.

    But with regards to the insults and rude comments, people will have their opinions. Some people genuinely don't like curly/kiny/wavy hair and that's fine! Some people don't like straight hair and that's fine as well! However, I think that when you are presented with these questions and comments, you should just ignore them. Or at least come back with a witty remark ;). A girl rudely says "yikes, your hair is so...curly *shudder*" and you could say "oh my gosh! Thanks for noticing!" and be on your way!

    The best way to deal with rude people is to shut them up quick. If you show the world how much you love your hair, your feelings will be reciprocated.

    P.S. If that's you in your avatar picture, the girls at your school are delusional: your hair is GORGEOUS!

    Well firstly thanks! (That wasn't even a great picture! :)
    But what I meant was that in my opinion a 3b isn't even that curly when you go up, into the 4's. I actually have a fair bit of 3c in my hair, it's kind of weird actually my hair is 3b in the winter but mostly 3c in the summer... But yes I hope that clears things up! :happy7:
    Currently loving: The Devacurl Line, Ecosytler Krystal, Suave Natural Coconut Conditioner, Duckbill Clips, Baking Soda Cleanses, and ACV Rinses.

    CG since July 2010!
    A horseback riding, curly who loves to read :read2:
  • waviewavie Registered Users Posts: 237
    I'm a teen too and I know how you feel.

    In addition to all the good advice already mentioned, I think the best teacher here is time and experience. I had a lot of people tell me how wonderful and unique my waves were but it took me a lot of time to have that "epiphany" moment.
    It might take you a while. Along the way you might flat iron your hair out of frustration as I did, you might even pathetically cry in a corner over your hair as I did. But eventually you will have that moment where you won't care anymore.

    Personally I felt like I had gotten out of the rat race, finally. Good luck! :)
    Hair type: 2C-3A, very dry, extremely low porosity, med elasticity, insanely thick kinky-wavy.
    HGs: Trader Joe's Nourish spa conditioner, Epsom salt rinse, Joico K-pak conditioner
  • curlycat_14curlycat_14 Registered Users Posts: 17
    Thank you! I actually flat ironed my hair over spring break...and washed it out the next day because I hated it! :) Oddly (Or not?) It's taken a really good haircut for me too FINALLY love my hair :toothy10:
    Currently loving: The Devacurl Line, Ecosytler Krystal, Suave Natural Coconut Conditioner, Duckbill Clips, Baking Soda Cleanses, and ACV Rinses.

    CG since July 2010!
    A horseback riding, curly who loves to read :read2:

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