Comment my friend made

AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
So last Saturday night my SO and I went to a Christmas party for my group of friends. My boyfriend had to leave early, but I stayed. I was talking to a couple of my friends and they asked about Dave's family and I told them he had an older brother and that he and his girlfriend lived in OH. Dave's brother is 32 and his girlfriend is 47. They met at work and were friends for awhile before anything went anywhere. She's not the type of woman that people would stereotype as a "cougar", she's age appropriate, etc. Dave's bro is VERY mature for his age and they just work, when you see them together you don't even think about the age difference.

Well one of my friends said "well I hope she gets botox or some kind of plastic surgery". And then followed it up with "I'm so awful aren't I?". It ticked me off because she probably wouldn't bat an eye if it were the man that was 47 and the woman that was 32. I honestly think that the only reason she was as hateful as she was is because she's single and no guy that she meets wants to date her because she's so difficult and just plain mean at times (to guys not females).

Should I have said something back to shut her up? I just said "well if you met them you'd see that it works" but I was shocked that she would be that outspoken right in front of me. IDK, what do you ladies think?

Comments

  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    How did their ages even come up in the conversation?
  • curlyarcacurlyarca Posts: 8,449Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What medussa said, and she sounds like she's mean to women, too.

    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

    4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I would ignore it. In my experience most people make comments with that big of an age difference including when it's the other way around.
  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    What Medussa said. I agree that people wouldn't bat an eye if he were 47 and she were 32, but it really isn't anyone's business how old they are either way.
    Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
    Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
    BC'd: 9/18/09
    Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
    Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
    Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

    http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    medussa wrote: »
    How did their ages even come up in the conversation?

    I was wondering that, too. I can see where the brother's age would be mentioned. When I tell people I have a brother and sister they want to know if they are older or younger. I don't see why the wife's age would have been mentioned.

    Your friend's remark was rude. She doesn't know them. She is saying what I'm sure a lot of women would think, but most have the manners not to express it.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think your reply was fine and appropriate.

    It sounds like your friend thought she was being "cute" - i.e., funny in a mean way, but it just reflected poorly on her. It made her sound small-minded and nasty. What century is she living in?
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Posts: 3,413Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yeah, your friend was rude, though the reaction wasn't unusual. I have an uncle who has been married three times. #1, his age -1 or 2. #2, -10 and the same age and class as my oldest cousin. #3, -20 and younger than my brother, the youngest cousin. You better believe the family had LOTS to say, behind his back. Ugh, they could be nasty.

    While I do agree with the relatives that Uncle R is with younger women because of his own (lack of) maturity, I also agree that it is none of our business. I did voice that once along the lines of: I like D, besides, we all have the right to pursue happiness, right? Uncle R and D look like they are happy, I hope they are, for many, many years.
    3a/2c
    Trader Joe's Tingle conditioner wash/ conditioner
    AG re:coil, LALooks gel, John Frieda Secret Weapon
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    Honestly, I'm just thrilled to read that a 32 year old guy would be willing to date a 47 year old woman-- especially since I'm 43 and feel like I have no prospects anywhere.
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Their ages came up because someone asked if they had any children, and I said she has 3 children and they asked how old the kids were and when I mentioned that they were in their early 20's the rest of the story came out. I definitely didn't just blurt it out that she was older.
  • curlyarcacurlyarca Posts: 8,449Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I disagree that most women would think she she needs Botox or plastic surgery. Lotsa, maybe you would. I for one would not think that. How could you even begin to comment on some woman's looks when you've never seen even a photo? If she'd said "oh he's 32 and she's 75" ok, maybe you could imagine....but I still wouldn't think "whoa, Botox and plastic surgery are in order!"

    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

    4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    Nah, it's just b/c she's jealous..
    I wouldn't have responded...
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    I agree, curlyarca. And yeah, I'm sure people would comment on the difference if it were the other way around, but I don't think the comments would be about the man's looks and how he needs to look young to hold the woman's interest. Anti-aging creams aren't exactly targeted towards men.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think a person can be mean without necessarily being jealous.
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    curlypearl wrote: »
    I think your reply was fine and appropriate.

    I think so too. Some people need to grow and realize that it's more than looks that makes a relationship work. Good grief.
    Springcurl wrote: »
    Honestly, I'm just thrilled to read that a 32 year old guy would be willing to date a 47 year old woman-- especially since I'm 43 and feel like I have no prospects anywhere.

    Me too. It's really nice to see. I like seeing Demi Moore and Asthon K. Together too. Warms my heart.
    4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

    HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

    SL APL BSL MBL
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    curlyarca wrote: »
    I disagree that most women would think she she needs Botox or plastic surgery. Lotsa, maybe you would. I for one would not think that. How could you even begin to comment on some woman's looks when you've never seen even a photo? If she'd said "oh he's 32 and she's 75" ok, maybe you could imagine....but I still wouldn't think "whoa, Botox and plastic surgery are in order!"

    +1
    Nah, it's just b/c she's jealous..
    I wouldn't have responded...


    I doubt she's jealous I just think women for some reason always feel the need to put down other women. They don't even have to know them and they put them down. Women are always in competition with other women. I mean when we dress up...are we trying to impress men? Nope we're trying to impress other women.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    curlyarca wrote: »
    I disagree that most women would think she she needs Botox or plastic surgery. Lotsa, maybe you would. I for one would not think that. How could you even begin to comment on some woman's looks when you've never seen even a photo? If she'd said "oh he's 32 and she's 75" ok, maybe you could imagine....but I still wouldn't think "whoa, Botox and plastic surgery are in order!"

    I totally agree with curlyarca. The thought would have never crossed my mind.
  • sew and sewsew and sew Posts: 3,443Registered Users
    turtles wrote: »
    I mean when we dress up...are we trying to impress men? Nope we're trying to impress other women.
    This I've never really understood. I can't say that I fully dress for myself (as nice of a notion that is as far as being independent minded), but what isn't for myself is because I do want to look attractive...for guys. I don't play to what should (stereotypically, at least) be attractive to guys, because I feel attractive when I'm truly aesthetically engaged in what I'm wearing. (And either way, if you're not feeling attractive, overall it's going to defeat the purpose). Anyway. But women? I don't understand the point of pleasing women on that note. I truly don't. But I've heard that said a lot.
    “It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

    3B ■ Medium/Course ■ High Porosity

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file