my little girl has corkscrew hair

lucyloulucylou Registered Users Posts: 3
we do not know where it came from, i have wavy hair and my husbands hair is poker straight but she has it and she hates it. she has asked me to make her a head scarf so i have duly bought her some sweet appropriate fabrics (personal fave is the cutest cupcake print: Cupcake fabric - Shopping Search Engine -
but i have stopped myself before i make her any, as her mother am i giving her self confidence by helping her hide what she doesnt like or am i teaching her the easy way out? should she be encouraged to learn how to love it? i rally am very lost here, i have tried to search online parenting forums but it seems so trivial over hair that nothing is really helping, i wondered if you could help me on here? the worst thing is that she has just seen me have my hair chemically straightened, should i be offering her that, but these only 9 and i dont want her to become vain...
i really am stuck, can anyone advise?


  • bandsbaby6bandsbaby6 Registered Users Posts: 55
    In the past I too have had issues with my daughter saying things like... I wish my hair could be straight....I don't like my hair...I even caught her in the mirror several times pulling her hair down and just looking at herself...I was also quite alarmed as I am personally against having her hair straightened. Here are some of the things I did:
    1. Made her hair a priority- I was taking care of her hair before but I became more dilligent about finding the right product for her hair and educated myself (online) with new styles to try....
    2. Gave her choices about her hair- how she wanted to wear it, I let her look at stuff online and view styles. Came up with names like "big and beautiful" for different styles!
    3. Positively reinforced how beautiful her hair is and truly meant it!

    After making those changes I have not heard her sat ANYTHING bad about her hair!! It has been over two years!!!
    Your daughter is a little older so that could play in as a factor but I hope this helps even a little as I know how frustrating it is!!! I now have three curly haired daughters! All i I want for my daughters is self confidence!!! Good luck girl!!!!
  • AsLckyGrlAsLckyGrl Registered Users Posts: 188 Curl Neophyte
    My mom's hair - jet black pin straight.
    My dad and brother - shaved heads!

    My hair growing up: looked like a rat's nest; gelled down poof; or heat damaged and straight...

    I suggest seeing what works for your daughters hair. I know my hair needs a lot of moisture. AND shampoos can be very damaging... Also what combs/brushes you use should be considered.

    I used to torture my hair with nylon bristles and daily shampoos... Now through I have learned that wide toothed combs, PLENTY of condish and all-natural shampoos are what my hair really needed.

    I grew up doing what my mom did for hair care, and she didnt care what it looked like as long as I was happy. I was happy, but not with my hair!! haha

    I hope this helps. I'm 21 now, discovered NC about a year ago... I just hope I can help one curly girl have a fighting chance at loving her curls... If she still wants it straight, so be it, but if you encourage her and she loves them? Thats a happy ending!
    3B ; BSL; Low Porosity; Med Texture; CG since July '10.
    Clean: Ever Sleek
    Treat: EVCO, Neutrogena 3xMoisture
    Tools: Boar Brush, wide tooth comb
    Styler: Garnier Sleek&Shine
  • lucyloulucylou Registered Users Posts: 3
    thank you for such genuinely heartfelt replies; i cant tell you how much i appreciate your words. i knew i was wrong to help her hide her hair, perhaps il do her one headscarf so she has the option (because i also hate to dictate to her) but i will follow your advice, i will search the right proucts, brushes etc and i will make her hair a priority, i need to try before i let her give up on it.
    thank you again ladies, i cant tell you how much it means. il get her on here and she can have a little look around like you said, thanks x
  • famus_darlingfamus_darling Registered Users Posts: 85
    I think you got really great advice. I think it's great that you give her the scarf, but also make her hair a priority for you and her.

    My oldest is nearing 9 years old and for a few years did the I hate my hair bit. And at a certain point I decide to stop straightening my hair so she would see that I also loved my curls. That may not be an option for you, but I think if you start showing her different styles and make doing her hair a bonding experience she will learn to appreciate it.
    Me: 3c, very thick
    BC- May 2010
    Current routine:
    pre poo: avacado, banana babyfood, grapeseed oil, and silk amino acid. Cleanser: DC No Poo 1x a week and BC 1x a week. DT: GVP Cond balm and grape seed oil
    Co-wash: GVP CD, TJ tea tree
    Leave-in: GVP CD, TJ tea tree, and grape seed oil
    Styling: HETT and castor oil
    DD (8 & 6 yo): both4s (1 thick, 2 thin) – keep in 2strand twists
    DD (4yo): 3b (very thin, hard to grow) – keep in single braids with lots of beads for protection
  • bdtaylorbdtaylor Registered Users Posts: 16
    I would maybe find some celebrate photo's with similar hair and point out how beautiful it is. Me and my youngest have 3C/4a hair. My oldest has 4b hair. So she also had a little bit of a self-esteem issue when it came to her hair. I make sure I point out to her why I think she has beautiful hair. I normally braid or twist her hair and try to change the design as often as possible. She loves going to school and everyone telling her how much they like the new hair style/design. That has really helped. Maybe find some cutie accessories like a flowers or headbands and let her pick which one she wants to wear.

    I also make sure I focus on my daughters hair being healthy. She is amazed on how soft her hair feels now that we have a good routine down. As I learn more about taking care of her hair I am teaching her. Try finding books at your local library that has really helped me and we read/look at them together (my oldest is 9 also). I also let her help me do her hair so she is learning. For instance let her wash her scalp, or put a twist or two in her own hair while I am doing it.

    While I have not chemically straightened my hair in over 10 years I did straighten my hair with heat. I have also decided to no longer straighten my hair with heat because I think my hair routine was contributing to my daughters wanting their hair straightened. At 9 I would not straighten her hair yet. Wait until she is old enough to make that decision. Plus you don't want to do any perminant damage.

    Hope this helps.
  • generositytgenerosityt Registered Users Posts: 245
    bdtaylor wrote: »
    I would maybe find some celebrate photo's with similar hair and point out how beautiful it is.

    Hope this helps.

    That's a very good idea, it usually works with kids at your daugther's age (almost teenagers). Last summer, my cousin and I did something quite similar for my little cousin who has WAVY hair (actually, barely wavy) and she DOESN'T like it :roll: so me and her big sister pretended to be looking at the before and after pictures thread in NC as if we were just talking about the effect of going CG. Anyways, she started looking with us and you can tell she was shocked, and while we were watching the pictures, every once in a while we would tell her, oh look at this one, she almost has the same hair as you, it looks great on her, or look how she styled her hair, I bet it would look good on you too.
    Anyways it worked, her big sister had told me that she never complained about her hair again since (we're still crossing our fingers that she wouldn't change her mind soon) and she stopped asking to have it straightened.
    So either the celebrities pictures or the ladies in NC, I think it would help a lot. Many of the kids don't see many people with curly hair, so seeing these many gorgeous ladies with curly hair may help them embrace what they have.
    A Mediterranean 3b lady
    In love with my curls, love love love
    CG since Nov/07

    Co-Wash: VO5, Tresemme naturals, Fructis naturals
    Cond: Nature's Gate conditioners
    Stylers: Lotions made at home with coconut oil, honey, AVG, vegetable glycerin, OO, and EO.
    Gel: LA Looks sports gel for high humidity days.

    Hair goal: Waist length healthy curls

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