The Sheriff is back!

TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
I had a wonderful opportunity to do a show in West Palm Beach (About 3 hours from me) It was a two month contract, including rehearsals. I was put up in my own apartment (basically a mother in law apartment in the backyard of the managing director) There was a hotub, which was awesome. I went home once, Hubby visited three times, twice with the boy.

I did miss my family but I also I loved every minute of it. For two months my only concern was being an actress. Rehearsing 6 hours a day 6 days a week. Performing 8 shows a week.

I noticed when they came to visit for Thanksgiving, Isaiah was a bit whiny when he didn't get his way. We pretty much missed the big dinner with the theatre friends and family because he had a huge tamtrum then fell alseep. I figured he was just tired

But now I'm home. I know that 4 can me a difficult age but I really think that between my husband and my mother, Isaiah has been getting his way. A lot.

I've been back since Monday afternoon. Isaiah goes to school only on Mon, Thurs and Fridays. So today was the first day back for me. This morning was a nightmare. Isaiah wanted to watch his enitre show before he got dressed. There is no and never HAD been time for that. (This is why he was up to THIRTY minutes late for school the whole time I was gone. Hubby tends to dilly dally.) He had a sh*t fit. Trying to pull off his clothes while I dressed him. It was a hot mess. I mean he's had rough mornings. He's whine and cry but still did what I told him.

I've always been the strict parent and now I have to be even more so to get this get back on track.

I'm just venting and mad and gulity. I'm mad at my husband and I feel sad because a small part of me feels guilty for going away. Like this is all my fault.

woosah. And I have to do a show this afternoon for 1st-6 graders. It's a 25 minute one woman show. I haven't done it is MONTHS. I hope I remember it.

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    He probably didn't know it while you were gone, but he really did miss you. A lot. It won't take long for him to get back to your rules. He probably missed his tight schedule the most.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I would never trust my exhusband to watch my kids long term w/o me. He's not irresponsible per se but just too lax and disorganized, and indulgences them in too much BS like tv and junk food, etc.

  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    I'm sure he missed you! He's probably testing you now that you're back. I'm sure he'll settle down in a few days once he sees you mean business. :)
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    nynaeve77 wrote: »
    I'm sure he missed you! He's probably testing you now that you're back. I'm sure he'll settle down in a few days once he sees you mean business. :)

    Exactly.

    I have this same pain when I've been gone a week for work. Grandparents and Daddy indulge way too much. I can't imagine what it would be like if I was gone 2 months. :D

    Don't feel guilty...hang in there it will get better.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm sure Dad and Grandparents did indulge him - his mother was gone for two months. That's hard on a kid. I'm glad you got to do something you enjoy and I'm not saying you shouldn't have, but it's hard on a child for a parent to just be gone for two months. Dad and Grandparents probably had a cranky, scared, out-of-sorts kid on their hands a lot of the time and were doing the best they could.

    Two months is a LONG time in the life of a four year old. I think before you worry about being a hardass and getting things back on track (which obviously has to be done), you may have to spend some time with your kid who is probably still mad at you for being gone, confused as to what was up, and relieved you're back.

    I am not saying any of this to make you feel guilty. I just think that you might spend some time thinking about how it feels to a four year old for Mom to be gone for two months - it is going to take him a while to settle back in.

    My husband only ever goes away for a week at a time, two at most and it's still an adjustment when he comes back. He expects her to be all rosy and sunshine because Daddy's home and she's just so thrilled. In reality she's whiny, clingy, and cranky for at least a few days after he gets back.
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    CGNYC wrote: »
    I'm sure Dad and Grandparents did indulge him - his mother was gone for two months. That's hard on a kid. I'm glad you got to do something you enjoy and I'm not saying you shouldn't have, but it's hard on a child for a parent to just be gone for two months. Dad and Grandparents probably had a cranky, scared, out-of-sorts kid on their hands a lot of the time and were doing the best they could.

    Two months is a LONG time in the life of a four year old. I think before you worry about being a hardass and getting things back on track (which obviously has to be done), you may have to spend some time with your kid who is probably still mad at you for being gone, confused as to what was up, and relieved you're back.

    I am not saying any of this to make you feel guilty. I just think that you might spend some time thinking about how it feels to a four year old for Mom to be gone for two months - it is going to take him a while to settle back in.

    My husband only ever goes away for a week at a time, two at most and it's still an adjustment when he comes back. He expects her to be all rosy and sunshine because Daddy's home and she's just so thrilled. In reality she's whiny, clingy, and cranky for at least a few days after he gets back.

    I'm pretty sure this is the case. And I totally get that he has to make an adjustment. My main issue is that my husband ALWAYS let's Isaiah have his own way. Whether I'm there or not. I do all the disipline. I was just hoping that he would step up to the plate a bit while I was away at work. I have a job that I happen to love, but I was still working and earning money.
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm just. ugh! I hate hate hate the fact that my going away caused my baby pain. The funny thing is before I left, I might as well been invisible. He was such a Daddy's boy. hahah. And I really thought he's he totally fine. (Foolishly) Now he sists on my lap and hugs me. Which I LOVE and feel guilty about loving that b/c I know WHY he's doing it.

    I wish I could earn a decent wage working strictly in Orlando :( It is my plan to do maybe 2 shows out of town a year.

    UGH!

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