She did it again!!!

pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
Okay so yesterday I was working on my mother's website for her nonprofit organization, you know as a favor to her since she can't find a graphic artist that'll work on it.

So while I was sitting there . . she goes "I don't like when your hair makes you look like pickanny's mammy."

Like REALLY?! Why is that okay for her to say? I was like . ."I really hate when you say stuff like that about my hair. It bothers me, stop it." (This is like the follow up to her slave comment/ her calling me Kizzy from Roots)

Then she sat there and thought about it and goes "Well, I'm saying you look like pickannny's mammy when you wear your hair certain ways . . but in actuality . . I would technically be pickanny's mammy." ( My father's white and she's black) Then she continues by saying: "Well if you look at it, your father, since he's white would be considered master and because I'm dark skinned I would've been considered a slave.Therefore I'm talking about myself." :error: She was really caught up in analyzing that.

And then I was like: "Well according to our history books, you're right." Then I continued working on her website.

I think her days of commenting about my hair like she has, are over.
last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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Comments

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Okay so yesterday I was working on my mother's website for her nonprofit organization, you know as a favor to her since she can't find a graphic artist that'll work on it.

    So while I was sitting there . . she goes "I don't like when your hair makes you look like pickanny's mammy."

    Like REALLY?! Why is that okay for her to say? I was like . ."I really hate when you stay stuff like that about my hair. It bothers me, stop it." (This is like the follow up to her slave comment/ her calling me Kizzy from Roots)

    Then she sat there and thought about it and goes "Well, I'm saying you look like pickannny's mammy when you wear your hair certain ways . . but in actuality . . I would technically be pickanny's mammy." ( My father's white and she's black) Then she continues by saying: "Well if you look at it, your father, since he's white would be considered master and because I'm dark skinned I would've been considered a slave.Therefore I'm talking about myself." :error: She was really caught up in analyzing that.

    And then I was like: "Well according to our history books, you're right." Then I continued working on her website.

    I think her days of commenting about my hair like she has, are over.

    LOL Oh gosh :) I'm glad she had an "aha" moment.
  • pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
    I'm glad she had an "Aha" moment too. I wasn't sure how much more of her comments I would be able to take.
    last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
    high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
    condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

    YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Registered Users Posts: 267
    Wow, I'm sorry. *hugs*

    No disrespect to you or your mom, but it sounds like she has some issues with herself.

    "Pickaninny's mammy"? Seriously? In 2010? Like you, I'm biracial...black and white.

    I don't need to tell you this because I'm sure you know it, but your hair is beautiful and no one should be making you feel bad about it, especially your mama. :sad7:
  • pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
    Wow, I'm sorry. *hugs*

    No disrespect to you or your mom, but it sounds like she has some issues with herself.

    "Pickaninny's mammy"? Seriously? In 2010? Like you, I'm biracial...black and white.

    I don't need to tell you this because I'm sure you know it, but your hair is beautiful and no one should be making you feel bad about it, especially your mama. :sad7:

    I think she does have issues with herself, I know it isn't disrespect. Since she's gotten sick and lost her hair, I think she's been living vicariously through my hair. So whatever I do to it, she may feel it affects her directly some how.

    But making negative comments doesn't help the situation.
    last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
    high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
    condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

    YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Registered Users Posts: 267
    Yeah, I understand...I'm sorry she isn't well. *hugs*

    Just remember that you're beautiful no matter what. Keep your chin up.

    I guess your mom doesn't feel pretty since she lost her hair. Hair is a big deal to women, esp. black women. I wonder if there's anything she can do to get her confidence back so she won't keep putting you down? :(
  • pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
    Thanks dear. What's your name?

    And she's wearing wigs now to combat with her hair not growing back after the radioactive treatment she had to go through. It's been a bit now, but her hair still is gone in some places.

    I know it makes her feel horrible about herself, but I tell her that she's fierce regardless.
    last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
    high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
    condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

    YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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  • *Marah**Marah* Registered Users Posts: 8,032 Curl Neophyte
    I will be shocked to find out these comments are "over" with your mom. It seems her views about certain hair types on people of color are pretty set and have been for a long time. Don't be stunned if she slips up and says yet another rude thing about your hair and if she is able to contain herself.. rest assured she's thinking "Kizzy from Roots".
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  • pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
    I'm sure they're not over, but I know she felt slightly stupid the other day with this most recent offensive comment.
    last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
    high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
    condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

    YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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  • *Marah**Marah* Registered Users Posts: 8,032 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sure they're not over, but I know she felt slightly stupid the other day with this most recent offensive comment.

    :laughing8: GOOD! I know she's your mother and all but she should have felt stupid. Sometimes people need to made to wallow in their own dumbness. 8-)
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  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Registered Users Posts: 267
    Hey, pprMACHEheart...my name's Mindy. :wink:


    I feel your pain because my mom does that too sometimes. She will make little comments about my body or my hair. It's like, Lawd, not this again!

    But I believe my mother has her insecurities as well. She is absolutely gorgeous at 54 years old, wears a size 8, and still complains about being "fat".

    She is also biracial and from Jamaica. My father was white. She insists that I relax my hair because it's "unmanageable" and wouldn't look good natural.

    Sigh...mothers. Can't live with em, can't live without em.
  • pprMACHEheartpprMACHEheart Registered Users Posts: 1,665
    Hey Mindy, my name's DéAnna. Most people call me Anna, since it's easier to type. LOL .

    Yes, my mother does the SAME thing when it comes to her weight. Sheesh, I'm like mom you're a stick, you look great. You'll disappear if you lose any weight, stop the madness.

    My mom was the one that told me NOT to perm my hair, but I listened to my father, who of course has a different grade of hair than I do and is of one background and I'm a mix of two (maybe more, Lord only knows). So when I cut my hair she ragged on me for a few days. :(
    last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
    high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
    condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

    YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls

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