How to Be Young and Beautiful

Verity

One of my Facebook friends posted a link to this blog entry:

http://bravegirlsclub.com/blog/?p=1323

Part of me wants to say, "Talk to me when you're 49, not 39," but I think there is wisdom here.

Lotsawaves

Thanks for sharing this. I really enjoyed reading it. She did make a lot of sense about how we women are so hard on ourselves. With her new insight maybe she will do even better when she is 49, 59 and beyond.

2poodles

There is wisdom there. And I think it's a struggle that many of us women share. I don't know that men have quite the same issues. I'm still trying to figure out what aging gracefully means to me. I'm trying to be more accepting of my changing hair color and the new lines and sags. I'm not thrilled with them, lol, but I am trying to accept them as part of me. It is odd, though, to feel younger than I look. I want to look good - not necessarily younger (or at least not as if I'm trying too hard) but I do want to look healthy and vibrant and happy in my own skin. That's not always easy and certainly doesn't yet feel graceful. But I'm working on it.

RacerWife7

I love this blog! Thank you for sharing, Verity! I shared it with all my fb friends.

Lotsawaves

2poodles wrote: »

There is wisdom there. And I think it's a struggle that many of us women share. I don't know that men have quite the same issues. I'm still trying to figure out what aging gracefully means to me. I'm trying to be more accepting of my changing hair color and the new lines and sags. I'm not thrilled with them, lol, but I am trying to accept them as part of me. It is odd, though, to feel younger than I look. I want to look good - not necessarily younger (or at least not as if I'm trying too hard) but I do want to look healthy and vibrant and happy in my own skin. That's not always easy and certainly doesn't yet feel graceful. But I'm working on it.

I watched a show many years ago about this very thing. There was a young woman who was made to look much older and she spent time with older women, talking to them. She said that you could see in their eyes that they were still young on the inside, but looked old on the outside. It was hard for them. They just had to accept that they were now invisible to men. It was really sad.

2poodles

I don't think it bothers me to not attract the attention of men as much as when I was younger. Of course that's probably because I'm happily married - and he's plenty attracted! I don't think I'd ever want to be "invisible" however. But I suspect with the right attitude, one never really has to become invisible....

Verity

I know this has been discussed on another thread, but I think it's hard to give up the idea that you might be noticed by men. I was never a head-turner, even in my prime, so you'd think it would be easier for someone like me, but it..just..isn't. I think it's because our society values sexual attractiveness above almost everything else. Being able to free yourself from those expectations would be so liberating. I can't imagine what energy we'd have for other things if we were willing to let go of our goals and illusions about being pretty.

jeepcurlygurl

Thanks for the link. I enjoyed it. The title of her article "How to be young and beautiful" is kind of irksome tho since her message was more like "How to feel beautiful at any age".

Verity

Perhaps the title is draw the reader in. We are, after all, obsessed with at least looking young.

jeepcurlygurl

I guess it irked me because I'm one of the few who is NOT obsessed with looking young. I almost didn't read it because of the title. But I know I'm the minority on that. Just a negative feeling I had from it so I thought I'd throw it out there.

2poodles

I know what you mean, jeep. I don't have a goal to look "young". I have a goal to look - and feel - as healthy and happy as possible.

Lotsawaves

I just want to look the best I can at my age. I'm 59 and if I tried to look 21 again, it would be disastrous, like so many of the celeb botched up surgeries. I'm just not ready to give up on myself. I think we can look good in our 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond. It may take a little nip and tuck and exercising and a good diet, but I think it's worth it. We have to work at it, whereas most of us didn't when we were in our 20's or even our 30's. It's just a fact of life and either you give up or you work harder. I think it's up to the individual.

kerri21

to stay young you have to do exercise.

BekkaPoo

I'm not yet 40, but I am married and I ride my bike to and from work every day (trust me, I dress purposely bummy and non-sexy). I am waiting for the day I'm invisible to men other than my hubby. I get street harassment on a daily basis and I don't think it's flattering or fun at all.. in fact it makes me feel threatened and like a target, which is why I have taken jujitsu for the last two years. I don't know if/when one of these jerks on the street will escalate from a hoot to something more violent.

I look forward to the day where I can walk down the street or on my bike in peace.

2poodles

BekkaPoo wrote: »

I'm not yet 40, but I am married and I ride my bike to and from work every day (trust me, I dress purposely bummy and non-sexy). I am waiting for the day I'm invisible to men other than my hubby. I get street harassment on a daily basis and I don't think it's flattering or fun at all.. in fact it makes me feel threatened and like a target, which is why I have taken jujitsu for the last two years. I don't know if/when one of these jerks on the street will escalate from a hoot to something more violent.

I look forward to the day where I can walk down the street or on my bike in peace.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. Honestly - what's the matter with some men? :angry4: I am annoyed on your behalf. Please be safe.

BekkaPoo

2poodles wrote: »

I'm sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. Honestly - what's the matter with some men? :angry4: I am annoyed on your behalf. Please be safe.

Thank you 2poodles, and I definitely try to remain as safe as possible. I wish I knew what it was the drives men to be like that..do they think they own every woman?

As to the article, we as women definitely need to be kinder to ourselves.. If I had 6 hours a day to work out, and had a crew of make up/hair people, a maid, a cook, and a butler, then yeah I might look like a supermodel..lol. But as it stands I AM the trainer, make up/hair crew, cook, and butler and proud of it. I might not look like a model, but that has never been my goal. I have many things in life to be proud of that don't revolve around my appearance (and no I don't think I'm ugly either).

I've gotten to like how I look as I got older, so I take that as an accomplishment too.