Millionaire Matchmaker Responds

Michelle

From Patti Stanger's FB page: Ok, naturally curly bunch. I like stylish curly/wavy hair, but my millionaire men don't. So, go buy a flat iron at www.beautychoice.com. xo

lindykat

*snort*

Then we don't want your millionaire men, do we? I guess BeautyChoice can keep their flat irons.

ReynaCR

Now that's just sad :sad8:.

I read the article that was on the front page about her too.

But if people wanna stereotype and judge, and criticize, then let them.

The best 2 comments I saw under the front page article are these:

1. Auntie Bubbs Says:
   October 26th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
   She’s obviously insecure about her own looks, which are very masculine to begin with. Curls are very, very feminine. No wonder she bashes them at every turn.
2. jesis Says:
   October 26th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
   Women need to be independent! If a man doesn’t like you how you are, he doesn’t deserve you.
   I live in a college town and every girl I see has straight, damaged hair. It pleases me when I see girls who have natural curls, I think they are stunning because they can stand up and say “This is who I am, not who society or men want me to be, and I’m proud of it!”

and this third one:

1. followmesky Says:
   October 26th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
   you nailed it! Thanks Jesis!
   How funny would it be, if a guy were to go on the show and specifically want a wild curly hair woman!?
   I can assure you she would have to please her client. The tables have turned…
   If it ever happens..

ReynaCR

1. marylord Says:
   October 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
   Why is everyone so upset about Stanger’s inflammatory views of curly hair? The show is about pitiful women putting themselves on display in hopes that a man will buy them. If straight hair sells then straighten it!

This one had me in tears :toothy7:!!

ninja dog

Big attitude.

Robin-in-FL

Wel, not that I ever want a millionaire. And I don't care if ladies straighten their hair, or want to sell themselves, or whatever, it's not my world and they should be free to do what they want, it doesn't hurt me and if it makes 'em happy, they should go for it.

But two observations:

I don't think all the wives of millionaires are straight haired, that strikes me as highly unlikely. It's a pretty big group, isn't it?

And

A curly haired woman who straightens her hair is still a curly haired woman, just one who has straightened her hair or is wearing it styled straight. It still grows in curly.

KurleeEdna

QueenOfKinks wrote: »

1. marylord Says:
   October 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
   Why is everyone so upset about Stanger’s inflammatory views of curly hair? The show is about pitiful women putting themselves on display in hopes that a man will buy them. If straight hair sells then straighten it!

This one had me in tears :toothy7:!!

I love this! I've never watched this show (nor do I ever intend to), but... now I know!
If I ever become desperate for a millionaire, I'm going to straighten my hair and place myself in a big pink box in hopes I can be "purchased"... like Barbie! :laughing1:

multicultcurly

Robin-in-FL wrote: »

Wel, not that I ever want a millionaire. And I don't care if ladies straighten their hair, or want to sell themselves, or whatever, it's not my world and they should be free to do what they want, it doesn't hurt me and if it makes 'em happy, they should go for it.

But two observations:

I don't think all the wives of millionaires are straight haired, that strikes me as highly unlikely. It's a pretty big group, isn't it?

And

A curly haired woman who straightens her hair is still a curly haired woman, just one who has straightened her hair or is wearing it styled straight. It still grows in curly.

I so agree with the bolded. I've seen many wives of millionaires, athletes, movie stars, CEOs, etc. with very wavy and super curly hair. I've also seen women seeking millionaires with mostly straight hair that they've waved to add body -- think Marla Maples before she married Donald Trump. I don't think most men worry about hair. As long as it is healthy looking, soft to the touch and the woman seems confident about it, then men don't care.

I do believe that certain hair types meet with more scrutiny -- think someone with naturally 4b hair or a 3b/c curly in a Stepford wives environment. However, if the woman genuinely loves her hair and it suits her, then so will the men interested in her.

BugEyeZ

Michelle wrote: »

From Patti Stanger's FB page: Ok, naturally curly bunch. I like stylish curly/wavy hair, but my millionaire men don't. So, go buy a flat iron at www.beautychoice.com. xo

sounds like she's running a whorehouse. ggg:glasses10:

crwritt

BugEyeZ wrote: »

Michelle wrote: »

From Patti Stanger's FB page: Ok, naturally curly bunch. I like stylish curly/wavy hair, but my millionaire men don't. So, go buy a flat iron at www.beautychoice.com. xo

sounds like she's running a whorehouse. ggg:glasses10:

She probably gets a nickle every time someone clicks that Beautychoice link.

oddityofwings

I've been following this with what is probably too much interest, and a few things occur to me.

1. I wonder what she means by 'stylish'. I suspect it means artificially created curls and waves, but the word may just be meant to exclude the sort of curls typical of 'big hair' of the 80s.

2. Why are people more worried about her 'rules' about hair than those about male-female relations? Curly hair's great and all, but I would have thought the kind of adjustments she asks for on the level of gender relations would have the kind of empowered, self-assured women I see on here utterly spitting with anger. Yet the majority of the things I've read are more to do with hair than the antique gender roles she espouses. Yes, the hair thing is a metonym for what's going on here on a social level, but it worries me that the gender issues aren't brought up more.

3. Why must curl empowerment come at the cost of personal abuse? It's one thing to disagree; it's a whole other thing to attack this woman personally. I've seen it many times on here and on the Facebook thread and I just keep shaking my head at it. I like the idea of an open debate (though I somehow doubt she'd be open to it), but all the name calling and personal attacks just make us look angry and vengeful.

ReynaCR

KurleeEdna wrote: »

QueenOfKinks wrote: »

1. marylord Says:
   October 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
   Why is everyone so upset about Stanger’s inflammatory views of curly hair? The show is about pitiful women putting themselves on display in hopes that a man will buy them. If straight hair sells then straighten it!

This one had me in tears :toothy7:!!

I love this! I've never watched this show (nor do I ever intend to), but... now I know!
If I ever become desperate for a millionaire, I'm going to straighten my hair and place myself in a big pink box in hopes I can be "purchased"... like Barbie! :laughing1:

crwritt wrote: »

BugEyeZ wrote: »

Michelle wrote: »

From Patti Stanger's FB page: Ok, naturally curly bunch. I like stylish curly/wavy hair, but my millionaire men don't. So, go buy a flat iron at www.beautychoice.com. xo

sounds like she's running a whorehouse. ggg:glasses10:

She probably gets a nickle every time someone clicks that Beautychoice link.

You ladies are horrible :laughing9::laughing8:, lol!

RacerWife7

I've been watching/reading all this stuff and the question that keeps coming to MY mind is this:

WHY is it that the women are the ones who have to change???

WHY can't these supposed millionaires change their freaking warped ideals and realize that REAL women have curls, straight hair, long hair, and short hair?????

We're smart. We're curvy. We're thin, short, tall, or heavy. What does it matter? If these men are looking for arm candy that they're planning on ditching as soon as they lose their Barbie-looks, it seems they're looking in the right direction. She's pushing carbon-copy women on idiotic men who don't have a clue what's REAL in life.

Ppppbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbttttttttttt. :tongue3: Thanks. But, I'll stick to my gorgeous, non-millionaire hubby who loves me whether I have curls or straight, weigh 125 or 285, or have warts on the end of my nose.

Us real women know we have flaws. But, curly hair certainly ISN'T one of them.

rymorg2

Well, she must not read the magazines...wavy/wurly/curly is IN right now.

Oh, and my man likes my hair wurly. :laughing8:

Saroyan

oddityofwings wrote: »

I've been following this with what is probably too much interest, and a few things occur to me.

1. I wonder what she means by 'stylish'. I suspect it means artificially created curls and waves, but the word may just be meant to exclude the sort of curls typical of 'big hair' of the 80s.

2. Why are people more worried about her 'rules' about hair than those about male-female relations? Curly hair's great and all, but I would have thought the kind of adjustments she asks for on the level of gender relations would have the kind of empowered, self-assured women I see on here utterly spitting with anger. Yet the majority of the things I've read are more to do with hair than the antique gender roles she espouses. Yes, the hair thing is a metonym for what's going on here on a social level, but it worries me that the gender issues aren't brought up more.

3. Why must curl empowerment come at the cost of personal abuse? It's one thing to disagree; it's a whole other thing to attack this woman personally. I've seen it many times on here and on the Facebook thread and I just keep shaking my head at it. I like the idea of an open debate (though I somehow doubt she'd be open to it), but all the name calling and personal attacks just make us look angry and vengeful.

Very good post. I agree with all of this.

justajesuschick

You know. I do not wish to be disrespectful to Patti, but as much as we may be annoyed, we simply cannot change her thought, mindset or theory. Trying to convince her to see a different way is really like trying to convince a upset toddler to take their fixation off of candy or a toy in Target once they have dug in (or thrown down) and have decided that it shall be theirs.

She may be a very nice woman, but she is clearly an egomanic (an obsessive preoccupation with one's self and applies to someone who follows their own ungoverned impulses and is possessed by delusions of personal greatness and feels a lack of appreciation) and is quite narcissistic (inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity).

As a result, we will not convince her from her stand and frankly, we create more joy for her by the attention we are giving her and her comment. That actually gives away and minimizes our power.

I choose, instead, as a new wavy, to feel proud of my hair and I am learning the fierceness that apparently comes with the curly (this I am learning from beautiful women here)!! THIS is a better use of my energy. Rather than changing how she, or others, see me, I am just being a strong me and frankly, that is more attractive than whether my hair is straight or curly!!

Mountaincurl

She has bigger things to worry about, like her face.

sweetpeacurli

oddityofwings wrote: »

I've been following this with what is probably too much interest, and a few things occur to me.

1. I wonder what she means by 'stylish'. I suspect it means artificially created curls and waves, but the word may just be meant to exclude the sort of curls typical of 'big hair' of the 80s.

2. Why are people more worried about her 'rules' about hair than those about male-female relations? Curly hair's great and all, but I would have thought the kind of adjustments she asks for on the level of gender relations would have the kind of empowered, self-assured women I see on here utterly spitting with anger. Yet the majority of the things I've read are more to do with hair than the antique gender roles she espouses. Yes, the hair thing is a metonym for what's going on here on a social level, but it worries me that the gender issues aren't brought up more.

3. Why must curl empowerment come at the cost of personal abuse? It's one thing to disagree; it's a whole other thing to attack this woman personally. I've seen it many times on here and on the Facebook thread and I just keep shaking my head at it. I like the idea of an open debate (though I somehow doubt she'd be open to it), but all the name calling and personal attacks just make us look angry and vengeful.

Hear, hear. Tremendously well put.

xcptnl

As I posted on the non-hair board I feel this site is being hypocritical when it accepts advertising $ from companies that pushing the straight is beautiful kool-aid.

crimsonshedemon

Laylz wrote: »

She has bigger things to worry about, like her face.

I don't care how she feels about my curls. She's not worth my time... however, I do find her lips very distracting.

morrighu

KurleeEdna wrote: »

...If I ever become desperate for a millionaire, I'm going to straighten my hair and place myself in a big pink box in hopes I can be "purchased"... like Barbie! :laughing1:

Oh, please! No one likes that crack ho anyway... Why do you think you have to buy her friends???

snowgirl

Fake ****, fake nails, fake long straight hair=American beauty

Hate to say it girls, but that is what they say in Europe.

Who do you have to blame??

Auntie Bubbs

snowgirl wrote: »

Fake ****, fake nails, fake long straight hair=American beauty

Hate to say it girls, but that is what they say in Europe.

Who do you have to blame??

Hate to sound mean, but that sounds like Patti, and the look she's pushing on her show.

SpeirsArt

meh, what she says about curls doesn't bother me.

obviously she is just shooting fish in a barrel trying to help un-loveable people. Its a lot easier to flat iron hair than to overhaul a personality...
hers included.

morrighu

At the risk of quoting myself about this in-DUH-vidual...

Who in their right mind takes hair style or hair care advice from someone that looks like they stole a $5 Elvira wig from the Halloween clearance rack?

SpaghettiHead

:laughing8::laughing8::laughing8:

wavyblonde

From US Weekly: http://www.usmagazine.com/stylebeauty/news/patti-stanger-slammed-for-curl-bashing-2010211?utm_source=dailynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter

multicultcurly

I'm actually beginning to feel bad for her. Yes I know she makes lots of money making others feel bad about themselves, but I suspect that she must have low self-esteem. Based on her hatred of curly hair -- and yes I think she hates it, not the guys on the show -- and her beauty ideal being something that she is nowhere near - "molding" these women and dealing with socially inept millionaire men must give her something to feel good about or is a coping mechanism.

I honestly don't care that she hates curly hair. Not everyone likes everything, although hatred is different. Many of us have preferences in mates that some might construe to be close-minded, classist or racist, but you can't help who you like or don't like; some of this is beyond our control.

Patti seems lost and to be filled with self loathing. She is always looking for the generic stereotype of what is attractive, and the irony is that she is the complete opposite of the stereotype. I'm not saying that to be mean. Some people are beautiful, and some are physically unattractive. Patti is unattractive and her personality only enhances this.

CurlyCowgirly

Instead of satisfying the millionaire's egos, Patti should open them up to a broad spectrum of women. The men on her show may desire a straight-haired lady, then come to find that the woman of their dreams is a curly girl. Love has no boundaries, and to create a boundary based off of hair-type is shallow and close-minded. If Patti's male clients are going to be that picky about physical attributes just because they're big ole' millionaires who are use to getting everything they want, then they'll probably never be happy with how the women they date look. (Especially when their broad gets old and saggy and her hair falls out from all that straightening she did back in the day.) :laughing1:

RacerWife7

CurlyCowgirly wrote: »

Instead of satisfying the millionaire's egos, Patti should open them up to a broad spectrum of women. The men on her show may desire a straight-haired lady, then come to find that the woman of their dreams is a curly girl. Love has no boundaries, and to create a boundary based off of hair-type is shallow and close-minded. If Patti's male clients are going to be that picky about physical attributes just because they're big ole' millionaires who are use to getting everything they want, then they'll probably never be happy with how the women they date look. (Especially when their broad gets old and saggy and her hair falls out from all that straightening she did back in the day.) :laughing1:

I agree with all of this!!! Well said.

CurlyCowgirly

RacerWife7 wrote: »

CurlyCowgirly wrote: »

Instead of satisfying the millionaire's egos, Patti should open them up to a broad spectrum of women. The men on her show may desire a straight-haired lady, then come to find that the woman of their dreams is a curly girl. Love has no boundaries, and to create a boundary based off of hair-type is shallow and close-minded. If Patti's male clients are going to be that picky about physical attributes just because they're big ole' millionaires who are use to getting everything they want, then they'll probably never be happy with how the women they date look. (Especially when their broad gets old and saggy and her hair falls out from all that straightening she did back in the day.) :laughing1:

I agree with all of this!!! Well said.

Thanks!!