I wanhe t another baby

guanacaxlatinaguanacaxlatina Posts: 69Registered Users
For tHe past month or so ive had an urge abput having another baby, im 21 have a beautiful 16 mnth old and want another.. the thing is were not financially set for another.. Is this normal? Ive told my partner, he thinks im mad to want another little one with our situation.. is anyone else like this?
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  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    For me, being financially set for children is HUGE. I know sometimes things happen and the babies come whether they're planned for or not, but given the choice I'd choose to be prepared financially. The stress of a new baby, of going from one to two, and then adding money issues on top of that? No thanks.

    You're 21. You have plenty of time for babies.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    For tHe past month or so ive had an urge abput having another baby, im 21 have a beautiful 16 mnth old and want another.. the thing is were not financially set for another.. Is this normal? Ive told my partner, he thinks im mad to want another little one with our situation.. is anyone else like this?


    No. I always waited til I felt financially ready to care for a new baby. Consequently, I had 5 and 6 years between my babies. I enjoyed them much more not having to worry about how to afford them. Also, I enjoyed the babies I had in my 30's more than the babies I had in my 20's. I was more mature and more financially stable and could appreciate their babyhoods more.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    I see it both ways. While I definitely think CGNYC and RCW have a point, I also feel like it's one of those things where if you wait until you're "ready" to have kids (or another kid), you never will. Also, my husband and I are the types to make things work somehow, even if it means getting part-time jobs and scaling way back on expenses. I think in the long run I'd be happier to have the child spacing I wanted even if it meant things were really tough for a few years.

    Lastly, because I'm a SAHM, I don't really feel the second baby added much expense. No childcare expenses, we had hand-me-downs from my older son, and just like with DS1 I breastfeed and cloth diaper so we don't have to spend on formula and disposables.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
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  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    money is not the only factor to consider.

    think about the toll that having an infant and young toddler could have on you. an infant dependent on you for the obvious things. and a young toddler who will need your intervention in just about everything he/she wants and needs. and their needs/wants may often overlap, which is stressful and frustrating, particularly if you are the parent who spends most of the day with them.

    and add in the possibility that having the second child may in fact put you in a financial bind. that could mean additional tension and hard feelings between you and your husband and a generally unhappy household.

    having said that, some people have 3 and 4 stair step children and don't seem to be any worse for the wear. and then others who have 2 spaced 2 or more years a part are at their wits end. :help:

    whatever you decide, make sure you both are on the same page and have looked at the pros and cons of expanding your family. having a[nother] baby is hardly a decision that should be approached with whimsy.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • DelmaDelma Posts: 1,121Registered Users
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    I see it both ways. While I definitely think CGNYC and RCW have a point, I also feel like it's one of those things where if you wait until you're "ready" to have kids (or another kid), you never will. Also, my husband and I are the types to make things work somehow, even if it means getting part-time jobs and scaling way back on expenses. I think in the long run I'd be happier to have the child spacing I wanted even if it meant things were really tough for a few years.

    Lastly, because I'm a SAHM, I don't really feel the second baby added much expense. No childcare expenses, we had hand-me-downs from my older son, and just like with DS1 I breastfeed and cloth diaper so we don't have to spend on formula and disposables.


    What she said :sunny:
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i think everyone has made some valid points, but i definitely think its very important that you and your partner are on the same page about when to have another one.
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    i think everyone has made some valid points, but i definitely think its very important that you and your partner are on the same page about when to have another one.


    I agree. My husband wanted another one a full year before I did. We were financially good at that point, but I just wasn't ready for another. We talked about it and that was thatand he couldn't have said anything to make me change my mind until I was ready.
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