How to help a friend --- sorry, long

ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Hi All,

I'm not usually on this board since I'm not a parent, but a close friend is, and is having some issues I'm concerned about. Her 12 year old daughter, who goes to a special school and has some kind of behavioral/cognitive issues (sorry, I don't know the specifics, which would be very helpful, I'm sure), had a violent outburst this morning. She's 12, and not a small child. Apparently, there was spitting and flailing and raging, and quite a lot of moaning and weeping later.

I went by for a few minutes so my friend could shower the saliva out of her hair while someone watched the doors. It was heart wrenching. I know the girl in question quite well, and I feel like she's spiraling downward. Her Mom is wonderful: patient, responsible, reliable, fair-minded --- everything I would want in a Mom.

Is there anything I can do to help? I'm kind of heart broken for them both.

Comments

  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What you did was a huge help. Keep being supportive and available like that and you'll be Super Friend.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thanks, CGNYC.

    I'm afraid this is an indication of rougher times to come.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Since the daughter goes to a special school, she apparently has some issues, so it would be difficult for any of us to give any sort of specific advice. Being supportive and generous with your time and self to your friend is very helpful, regardless of the situation, and you should keep doing that, if you can.

    I wish them well. It's hard enough to raise typical-teens, so I know it's got to be grueling for parents of special-needs kids.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh, I will, but considering the girl and I are the same size, I do feel slightly more wary of her now.

    I know that kids have fits, but doesn't this sound extreme?
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ninja dog wrote: »
    Oh, I will, but considering the girl and I are the same size, I do feel slightly more wary of her now.

    I know that kids have fits, but doesn't this sound extreme?


    Oh, it's definitely not normal for a 12 year old to have a snot-slinging raging hissy fit. But, you said she has cognitive/behavior issues and goes to special school...so I'm assuming she's getting appropriate medical care. I don't think there's anything you personally can do to help her...just be supportive of her and her mom. It's hard to keep friends when a kid is acting out that way...be her friend.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yes, I will.

    I guess I'm just stunned.

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