Are you the same religion as your SO?

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  • curlysue21curlysue21 Posts: 5,219Registered Users
    Who Me? wrote: »
    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.


    My mother brought up baptizing my children to me, but said bluntly "If you aren't going to go to church, than you might as well not have them baptized." I think she was not happy about it, but she figures it was my decision to make, and she rather me be involved with church all the way, than half-a$$ed, if I were to choose to do it. For the record, they are her only grandchildren NOT baptized.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.

    Um..contrary to popular belief.. we don't. :tongue2:



    Another babka? (Seinfeld reference) ;)


    Are you saying there's more than one god?
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    curlysue21 wrote: »
    Who Me? wrote: »
    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.


    My mother brought up baptizing my children to me, but said bluntly "If you aren't going to go to church, than you might as well not have them baptized." I think she was not happy about it, but she figures it was my decision to make, and she rather me be involved with church all the way, than half-a$$ed, if I were to choose to do it. For the record, they are her only grandchildren NOT baptized.


    I let my FIL baptise my children. I still raised them atheist, so it didn't hurt anything to have a little water and incense spinkled on their heads, and it made FIL happy.
  • Maxs MomMaxs Mom Posts: 64Registered Users
    I am Jewish and my husband of 23 years is Catholic. We are both non-practising. We have raised 3 (wonderful I might add) kids in this relationship. We celebrate both families holidays and sent our kids to Catholic School. We have raised our kids to believe that being a good person is far more important than what religion you call yourself.
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  • journotravelerjournotraveler Posts: 2,816Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    Hubs is an atheist, I sort of believe in a nebulous idea of a higher power or creator. We share Buddhist-like philosophical beliefs.

    This describes my marriage exactly.
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  • curlysue21curlysue21 Posts: 5,219Registered Users
    curlysue21 wrote: »
    Who Me? wrote: »
    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.


    My mother brought up baptizing my children to me, but said bluntly "If you aren't going to go to church, than you might as well not have them baptized." I think she was not happy about it, but she figures it was my decision to make, and she rather me be involved with church all the way, than half-a$$ed, if I were to choose to do it. For the record, they are her only grandchildren NOT baptized.


    I let my FIL baptise my children. I still raised them atheist, so it didn't hurt anything to have a little water and incense spinkled on their heads, and it made FIL happy.


    I think the way my mom saw it was that baptizing them was a promise to be an active Catholic and to raise them as such, and she knew it was something I wouldn't do. As far as she knows, she thinks I'm agnostic.
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  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    KookyCurl wrote: »
    Who Me? wrote: »

    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.

    This was a bigger problem for me, as well as child rearing in general. Once it became clear that my SO and I were getting really serious we talked about it. He made it clear that he would back me up on decisions of that nature despite his family feelings. After seeing his mom with her current grandchild as well as his brother/SIL's parenting style (they're great parents, just not my particular style with kids) it was important to me to know if he believed that their way was right or if it was as important to him for us to forge our own way as it is to me. Now that we're on the same page I'm comfortable continuing to move forward. We aren't anywhere near having kids yet but I know that we sync in that way.

    We have had similar conversations. Like you, I wanted to make sure he was interested in raising the kids in a way that's very different than how he was raised. I'm fully confident that he'll back up my decisions regarding religion, etc., over that of his family. I still have some doubts about some other aspects if child rearing, but I'm pretty sure he's on board with what we both want, it just may take him some effort to get there. (For example, his fully capable adult sister still lives at home with the parents and has no intention of ever having a separate life, and the parents are OK with it. My future kids will NOT ever be allowed to be in that situation. Tough love if need be. I think my bf may need some help becoming comfortable with the tough love concept!)
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    DH and I are both practicing Christians. He's a touch more conservative than I.
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  • NubianCoilsNubianCoils Posts: 2,149Registered Users
    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.

    Um..contrary to popular belief.. we don't. :tongue2:

    To the original question: Yes..my husband and I are the same religion. Neither of us would marry or date (if we were single) non-Jews, period. To do so is a conflict of interest since both of us are religiously observant.

    Having said that, In general I don't see why two secular people that just may have been raised in a certain religion or are religious in name only of opposite religions can't date. Cause clearly, religion (if it dictates you should stay within your own) isn't all that super important to them in the first place...

    You don't?! :confused1: I thought Jews, Muslims and Christians worshipped the same God! Please educate.:read2:
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  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.

    Um..contrary to popular belief.. we don't. :tongue2:

    To the original question: Yes..my husband and I are the same religion. Neither of us would marry or date (if we were single) non-Jews, period. To do so is a conflict of interest since both of us are religiously observant.

    Having said that, In general I don't see why two secular people that just may have been raised in a certain religion or are religious in name only of opposite religions can't date. Cause clearly, religion (if it dictates you should stay within your own) isn't all that super important to them in the first place...

    You don't?! :confused1: I thought Jews, Muslims and Christians worshipped the same God! Please educate.:read2:

    I'm not sure how correct it is, but I view the addition of Jesus into Christianity as changing the concept of Deity enough to make it different than Judaism and Islam. While I know that the Christian concept of the Trinity is more like three aspects of one God, it does seem (to me) in practice to be a worship of two Deities, the Father and the Son. For some, the Holy Spirit gets thrown in, and some pray to Mary as fervently as they may pray to God.

    That aspect of Christianity is pretty interesting to me. It has a polytheistic look to it, but holds a status as a monotheist religion.

    I'm probably way off base, but it's how I see it.

    I also find that modern day Christianity is more based on Paul than on Jesus, but that's another thread I suppose.
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur

    Um..contrary to popular belief.. we don't. :tongue2:

    To the original question: Yes..my husband and I are the same religion. Neither of us would marry or date (if we were single) non-Jews, period. To do so is a conflict of interest since both of us are religiously observant.

    Having said that, In general I don't see why two secular people that just may have been raised in a certain religion or are religious in name only of opposite religions can't date. Cause clearly, religion (if it dictates you should stay within your own) isn't all that super important to them in the first place...

    You don't?! :confused1: I thought Jews, Muslims and Christians worshipped the same God! Please educate.:read2:

    I'm not sure how correct it is, but I view the addition of Jesus into Christianity as changing the concept of Deity enough to make it different than Judaism and Islam. While I know that the Christian concept of the Trinity is more like three aspects of one God, it does seem (to me) in practice to be a worship of two Deities, the Father and the Son. For some, the Holy Spirit gets thrown in, and some pray to Mary as fervently as they may pray to God.

    That aspect of Christianity is pretty interesting to me. It has a polytheistic look to it, but holds a status as a monotheist religion.

    I'm probably way off base, but it's how I see it.

    I also find that modern day Christianity is more based on Paul than on Jesus, but that's another thread I suppose.
    Lots of people would agree with you.

    Re: Paul, his ministry was indeed way longer than Jesus'.
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  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    I hate religion and I couldn't date anybody hardcore about their religion. I'm not an atheist tho so I doubt if I could date an athiest either.
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  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users Curl Neophyte

    Another babka? (Seinfeld reference) ;)

    Love that episode! But I love all of them so..:tongue:

    Are you saying there's more than one god?

    I'm saying for observant Jews that practice Judaism there is but one and that is not the whoever and whatever the Christians recognize as their god.
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  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Maxs Mom wrote: »
    I am Jewish and my husband of 23 years is Catholic. We are both non-practising. We have raised 3 (wonderful I might add) kids in this relationship. We celebrate both families holidays and sent our kids to Catholic School. We have raised our kids to believe that being a good person is far more important than what religion you call yourself.

    Agree absolutely. I'm not in a relationship now but there are several interfaith marriages in my extended family and they all worked out fine.
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  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm not sure how correct it is, but I view the addition of Jesus into Christianity as changing the concept of Deity enough to make it different than Judaism and Islam.

    Well Jesus is not really an addition to Christianity. He was, is, and has always been the most significant part of it. According to the New Testament before Jesus came on the scene and was touted as thee Messiah those people lived as observant Jews. The interesting thing is he never claimed any religion called "Christianity" nor did he actually refer to himself as a diety. Of course, all that is if you buy into what the NT says...

    But I agree with you from the perspective of the inclusion of Jesus automatically disqualifies Christians from the belief that Muslims and Jews have about a diety. Not to mention their perspective about a diety is different from what we believe...

    As a Jew, I have MUCH more in common with a Muslim than I do with a Christian..which I see as the polar opposite of being Jewish.
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  • JRockJRock Posts: 170Registered Users
    My husband and I have different religions. I find it interesting we are both fundamentally Christian but have different views about so many things. I went to his church service once and was so uncomfortable. I prefer my faith but he has refused to attend with me. We aren't particularly religious because of our faith differences.


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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    I'm not in a relationship, but I wouldn't care what my SO was, as long as they're not trying to force me in it, I'll go to your place of worship to see what it's like (I find religions fascinating) but I'm not trying to convert.

    I don't discuss religion with people, because to me, it's private. Just like sex, I'm not going to talk to you about sex and I don't want to hear your sex stories, so I'm not going to talk to you about religion and I don't want to hear about yours. Lol, just how I feel.
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  • JewelCurlsJewelCurls Posts: 191Registered Users
    Hubby and I are both conservative Roman Catholics. I dated an evangelical Protestant in high school, which was honestly as far religion-wise I went from my own. It's hard for me personally to feel intimate (not sexy sense of the word) with a significant other who looks at the world in such a different way.

    Also, I don't think Jews go to hell (weird!)
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  • HropkeyHropkey Posts: 572Registered Users
    My religion is Judaism, and I'm not in a relationship right now or in a place where I think the religion of my SO really matters, but I know that my religion is very important to me and it's something that I would want to have a partner with later in life.
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  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My bf and I are both Jewish. The cultural aspect of judaism is very important to me even though I am not religious, nor do I believe in God. Despite this, I LOVE dating another jew. I just find it makes everything so much easier. So much about myself and how I grew up requires no explanation.

    Plus I love his jew fro. Our babies will be super cute.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Nej wrote: »
    My bf and I are both Jewish. The cultural aspect of judaism is very important to me even though I am not religious, nor do I believe in God. Despite this, I LOVE dating another jew. I just find it makes everything so much easier. So much about myself and how I grew up requires no explanation.

    Plus I love his jew fro. Our babies will be super cute.

    This how I feel(except for the not believing in god part). I'm more spiritual now but the cultural part of it is nice for me and it would be so much nicer to be with someone with the same religious background as me(Muslim). Although at this point I'm not going eliminate a huge pool of men based on religion. Not sure how it's going to play out if I ever get married. My sister is marrying an atheist so we'll see how that goes..he just fake converted to appease the family..what a mess but it is what it is.
  • YomYom Posts: 1,146Registered Users Curl Novice
    Who Me? wrote: »
    I'm a pretty serious atheist. I'm openly against organized religion, as well.

    By boyfriend was raised Catholic, and went to Catholic schools (elementary through college!). However, he is non-practicing and would probably consider himself an agnostic at this point. Religion doesn't really play any part in our lives.

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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I would never date anyone who wasn't Christian. I'm Catholic but I would date a Christian of any denomination as long I felt their beliefs were doctrinally sound. I was married to a Baptist; our kids were baptised as Catholics; I have no problem attending services at churches of other denominations.

    I don't have anything against people of other religions...or even against other religions. But my faith is the guiding force in my life and I would need my SO and I be in accord in matters of faith.

  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I wouldn't mind dating someone who did believe in a higher power. As long as his faith didn't cloud his judgement and actions and he didn't take issue with me being an atheist, it would be fine.

    I'm the only atheist in my family. My mother is Catholic, my father believes in a higher power but his attitude is overall agnostic when it comes to the particulars, and my sister is drawn to Spiritism, faith healers etc. None of those differences affect how we get along.

    I'm not sure I want children (a much bigger issue to work out with a future SO, lol), but if I did have kids, I'd talk to them openly as to why I am an atheist, but would rather they come to their own conclusions, much like I did. Anyone fathering my hypothetical children would have to be on board with that, and he too could talk to them openly about his faith. I just wouldn't want him to impose those beliefs. And I wouldn't want him shaming them into feeling guilt over supposedly "sinful" behavior.
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    I would never date anyone who wasn't Christian. I'm Catholic but I would date a Christian of any denomination as long I felt their beliefs were doctrinally sound. I was married to a Baptist; our kids were baptised as Catholics; I have no problem attending services at churches of other denominations.

    I don't have anything against people of other religions...or even against other religions. But my faith is the guiding force in my life and I would need my SO and I be in accord in matters of faith.

    Agree with the last paragraph 100% - I feel the same way.

    I was born and raised United Methodist. I identify very strongly with my denomination and can't see myself being anything else. Being a United Methodist is all about service to others; our motto is "Open hearts, open minds, and open doors" and in my experience, my denomination lives up to that motto.
    The one area where I take issue is not allowing LBGT ministers and not sanctioning LBGT marriage. This is a fight I am fighting here in San Antonio (uphill battle sometimes...) through the Reconciling Ministries Network.

    Anyway. When I was younger it wasn't all that important that I date/marry another United Methodist person, but it became more important as I got older. I need to be with someone who holds the same social principles I do.
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