Ever just feel like giving up?

It seems that a lot of you are seeing improvments in your hair pretty soon after going cg. I've been doing this for a few years now and, while my hair is probably healthier than it was 2-3 years ago, I'm still sort of embarassed for myself whenever I leave the house. I keep returning to this website wanting to be inspired by everyone's stories of triumph, but it's actually kind of depressing, seeing how much you've all improved in such short amounts of time, and then having to look at my own hair in the mirror. It doesn't look anything like any of yours. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just shave my head and buy a wig. I've struggled with my hair all my life, and it's seeming more and more like a lost cause. Has anyone ever had similar sentiments...?

Comments

  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,228Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    funshine, I'm feeling that way right now. For me, a lot depends on the weather.

    At least we have hair! I hope that doesn't sound stupid. I have a girlfriend who is going really bald in places due to PCOS so I remind myself of that when I get discouraged.

    Maybe post your routine and see if some of the very experienced curlies can make suggestions. You're not alone in your feelings but maybe some changes to your routine will make the bad days less bad and hopefully, you'll get some really good days. Good luck to you (and me). :toothy4:
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • kwillikwilli Posts: 53Registered Users
    Ponytails are my best friend. Unless I spend at least an hour on my hair every day (which I'm not willing to do) it turns into a frizzy mess. I would say my hair looks nice 3 days out of the month.

    You're not alone!

    Type: 2b/3a, fine, thick, med. porosity
    Hate: My frizzy, curl-less canopy
    Love: My natural hair colour

    Still fine-tuning my routine.
    Cleansers: GTTT Shampoo, ACV rinse, Deva Low Poo
    Co-wash: Down Under Naturals Conditioner, GTTT Conditioner
    Styling: KCKT & KCCC
    Want to Try: KCCC & BHRG Combo,
    Looking For: Good protein treatment & DT
  • MHassonMHasson Posts: 46Registered Users
    Funshine!!! Don't give up hope! Me personally, have been on this CG process for about 3 years and my hair still hasn't reaches it's full potential. Doing research and learning your hair and what works for it can always help! It helped me, I'm sure it can do the same for you!

    Maybe you need to do a BC, or just continue to be patient. LOVE your hair! Treat it good, and it will treat you good back!
    ...and don't think that just because your hair doesn't look like other people's, that it's not beautiful. You are beautiful in your own special way, and you should know that. You do not need other's approval to tell you how beautiful your hair is. Just stay persistent and patient, you will get their eventually.

    I send my love

    -MHasson
    HAIR GOAL: Grow out heat damage and have a complete head of healthy curls! :)

    Lovely 3C kinky-curls - HIGH Porosity - Massive amount of Heat Damage! wackk
    POO : Giovanni 50/50 Balanced
    CONDITIONER : Aussie (Co-Wash)
    DEEP TREATMENT CONDITIONER : Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose[For Protein], still searching for a good MOISTURE conditioner, then a final rinse with ACV
    STYLERS : KCKT + Unrefined Ghana Shea Butter
  • robinbethsrobinbeths Posts: 171Registered Users
    I can understand TOO!! It's just HARD to feel we look nice at times. I SO wish I had tight, springy spirals, because they are uniform and to me, ALWAYS look GOOD. But, hang in there! If you have a good haircut and work at coating your hair well with gels that work, frizziness should not be too bad and yes, posting your routine would help others maybe give more advice.

    Hang in there though- you are NOT alone!!! :toothy4::toothy4:
    Robin :wave:
    I love Jesus!
    Just learning the ropes :toothy5:
    Hairtype: 3b (me thinks) :confused:
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    funshine wrote: »
    It seems that a lot of you are seeing improvments in your hair pretty soon after going cg. I've been doing this for a few years now and, while my hair is probably healthier than it was 2-3 years ago, I'm still sort of embarassed for myself whenever I leave the house. I keep returning to this website wanting to be inspired by everyone's stories of triumph, but it's actually kind of depressing, seeing how much you've all improved in such short amounts of time, and then having to look at my own hair in the mirror. It doesn't look anything like any of yours. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just shave my head and buy a wig. I've struggled with my hair all my life, and it's seeming more and more like a lost cause. Has anyone ever had similar sentiments...?

    What is it that you don't like? Post a pic. Sometimes, we overly criticize what we have (it's common in people to do this, right?)

    You cannot judge your hair against ours. That's a recipe for frustration. i will never have the hair of the people I admire the most here--they have volume I can only dream of. Some don't have to deal with grays, thinning, dryness, crazy porosity.

    If you don't like the way your hair looks, break it down to the components. SPECIFICALLY WHY?

    Has there ever been a time when you loved your hair? Why? What made you love it?

    It took me about 4.5 months to get to a point where I was liking my CG hair. I like it some days more than others. Some days, I want to blow dry it just to get 5 good days of hair instead of fighting second day and third day frizz.

    So, yeah, some days are rough. But I feel like myself curly....what can I say? It's more ME.

    I think if you make clear realistic goals of what you want from your hair, then you can assess how to get it. It may not be via CG or even modified CG.

    In the end, just find a healthy way to get happy hair. Why be miserable? But you gotta be realistic about WHAT you hair CAN do. There are always limitations....
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • oddityofwingsoddityofwings Posts: 1,261Registered Users
    I second what Mir said - sometimes taking a step back can help tremendously.

    I've noticed over the time I've been here that people find their hair acts unpredictably in the autumn and spring - temperature can vary, humidity and dewpoints can change rapidly from day to day, there's wind and rain and so forth, and all of these things can cause issues even if you're prepared for the changeover.

    Sometimes the problem is easy to fix - sometimes it's just a missed cone if you're doing full CG, or not cleansing often enough if you're mod-CG. Sometimes it's hard water build up, not enough protein or too much, etc, etc.

    Even if you've got your routine down pat, though, even those of us who are generally happy with our hair have our bad days. It generally takes me about 2 weeks to figure out how to use a new product with my hair, and every single day of those two weeks is spent with my hair in a ponytail once it's dry because it looks that ridiculous. Even with tried-and-true products and techniques, I'll occasionally get a bit that lays weird, curls weird, won't curl at all, tangles and frizzes up like nobody's business - and that's hair for you. Sometimes it's the weather, sometimes it's just the way your hair is, sometimes it's freaking out for whatever reason. And that's just hair for you.
    3b/c. Fine, med-high porosity, normal elasticity. Hair loves oils in summer, protein in winter. Constantly battling the hard water monster.

    Favourites:love5::
    CJ Curl Theory, Curl Rehab, Smoothing, Curl Fix, Daily Fix, CCCC, CIAB, CQ, SSCC, MC shampoo, Inecto Pure Coconut Oil, CP luscious curl creme (summer), DB Pumpkin Seed (summer), FD/MT, JCWDT, JCTS

    American literature PhD student in the UK... :study:
  • kathymackkathymack Posts: 9,999Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It's also important to know your hair properties. Here's a thread to help: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=67218 A good haircut is the basic building block for great hair. After that is product and technique.

    If you live on the East Coast, there's no way your hair could have been great the last few days. Especially, if you go outside for any length of time. Between the rain and wind, hair that starts out looking great can't possibly stay that way all day. As mentioned above, the weather plays an integral part in what you do.
    3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
    SE PA

    HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • nandiknitsnandiknits Posts: 260Registered Users
    I totally hear you on the frustration. I've been CG for almost a year and a half, and have seen only marginal improvement in the health of my hair. As you can see in my siggy, I have very coarse, very thick, and very porous hair that is very dry. I use the best conditioners that are available (I live in Canada), including, AOHR, Biolage Conditioning Balm, Jessicurl WDT, and Curl Junkie CR. I DT every 3 days with heat. I use natural or organic co-wash conditioners, and KCCC as a styling product. I also seal with Argan Oil.

    I've come to the conclusion that there is no product that will make my hair feel conditioned and soft. I guess that is just the nature of my hair. I had hoped for more, but I'll take whatever improvement I can get!
    CG since June/09
    3a/b extremely thick, coarse, porous
    Loving AOHR, Biolage Conditioning Balm, KCCC.:glasses8:
  • IAgirlIAgirl Posts: 2,540Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I could have written your post! Forget about the wonderful "before and after" pics. They're fun and we can be happy for those folks, for sure.

    But you have to work with what nature gave you and learn to appreciate it. Or else become a movie star and have a personal stylist:confused3: (kidding)
    I posted a pic of my hair after a recent cut and I couldn't stand it. It's curlier when wet, but I can't get it to dry that way etc. etc. All I could see was the stuff about myself I didn't like.
    A wonderful person replied, "you have those tousled beachy waves," which are so popular.
    That really shifted my thinking. Before I was blinded by self-criticism. Having a different term opened my eyes. I didn't understand what anybody else could see until I read the words they used.

    Please post a picture if you can and maybe some of us can help give you new words for your hair. This is a very nonjudgemental group of people who all have hair frustrations.

    We're here to help!
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    IAgirl wrote: »
    I could have written your post! Forget about the wonderful "before and after" pics. They're fun and we can be happy for those folks, for sure.


    We're here to help!

    I've posted the "not so great after" pics in my Fotki as well. I think sometimes it's too easy to post the "look, my hair is great today" pics, which don't faithfully show the reality that not every day is a great hair day for most of us. My Fotki has 2nd, 3rd, and sometimes 4th day pics. Pics with frizz. Pics with "big fuzzy" fingercombed hair, etc. It's part documentation for me, and part just, "Hey, here it is. What my curls do or won't do."

    Part of my frustration in the beginning is that there is such emphasis on CLUMPS that I was aiming for CLUMPS.

    Well, I look better with broken up curls (ie, less clumpage, more volume, more airiness, less definition). So, I stopped the pursuit of clumps (though I occasionally will SuperSoak for the hell of it and for a "different' look.)

    There was also the quest for no frizz. Well, I found that for me to have NO FRIZZ AT ALL meant a lot of product and my hair looked perpetually wet and the volume was gone.

    I found that I didn't mind a bit of frizz (a natural thing with curls, anyway), but I did mind producty looking hair. I realized a lot of the pics I was seeing with folks aiming for zero frizz meant the hair lookedd greased up or so plasticky with gel that it was not my aesthetic. It was THEIR aesthetic.

    I had to be true to what *I* like in hair. I had to compromise and find the happy place where it felt like ME, even if it was not someone else's curl ideal.

    Find the way your hair suits YOU..not someone else. It's impossible to have someone else's hair. YOur own beauty is yours. Own it.

    It's fine to experiment and fail. :) It's fine to do it your way. But it's really good to accept and be realistic about one's own hair's limitations, too. Just like I'll never bike like Lance Armstrong or sing like Mariah Carey, I can still find pleasure in biking and singing. I just do it in my own little way. :D

    Ditto with curls. Find the pleasurable place and look--doesn't have to be ideal.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • ReynaCRReynaCR Posts: 405Registered Users
    funshine wrote: »
    It seems that a lot of you are seeing improvments in your hair pretty soon after going cg. I've been doing this for a few years now and, while my hair is probably healthier than it was 2-3 years ago, I'm still sort of embarassed for myself whenever I leave the house. I keep returning to this website wanting to be inspired by everyone's stories of triumph, but it's actually kind of depressing, seeing how much you've all improved in such short amounts of time, and then having to look at my own hair in the mirror. It doesn't look anything like any of yours. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just shave my head and buy a wig. I've struggled with my hair all my life, and it's seeming more and more like a lost cause. Has anyone ever had similar sentiments...?

    Yep! I've decided to stop buying new products, and find someone to braid my hair once every 8 weeks. That way, I'll just ignore my hair and how it looks, and I'll stop cutting my hair off. It gets frustrating, with demands from work, spouse, society, etc... I feel exactly the same way. And it's probably why I post less these days, too!

    I hope you get through it. the wigs only made me feel worse, but if it works for you then go right ahead and do what pleases you! it's your head anyway =)
    :queen: Reyna

    "Don't look back and ask why, look forward and ask why not!?" - Unk.
  • SbudskySbudsky Posts: 261Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Like the other posters, I totally understand where you're coming from and often feel that way myself.

    One thing I'd just like to point out, though, is that photos tend to make hair look particularly good. I didn't realize this and was getting really bummed out looking at everyone's photos on here of shiny, glossy frizz-less coils and comparing them to what I saw in my bathroom mirror under bright florescent lights. Eventually, I got a look at some photos of my own hair and I was shocked that my hair looked so shiny and curly and that the halo of fizz I saw in the mirror was not visible.

    Have you taken pictures of your own hair? Maybe you could ask a friend to take some nice shots of you. Of course there's always pictures that will come out with bad lighting and unflattering angles, but I bet you'd also be pleasantly surprised at how good your hair can appear.
    waves, loose coils, and cherub curls (=mixed 2s through 3a), very fine texture overall (but with medium and even coarse strands scattered throughout)
  • funshinefunshine Posts: 7Registered Users
    Thanks so much you guys! All your support and insight really means a lot to me. :) It feels good knowing I'm not alone. I have my routine posted on the newbie board, but I'll put it here too:

    Every other day-Cowash and detangle w/Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition, condition w/AOHR (but I just ran out of that and got GPB instead; haven't used yet) Leave in GFTN

    Once a week-[buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Come-Clean-Moisturizing-Shampoo-p-844.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=Kinky-Curly-Come-Clean-Moisturizing-Shampoo]Kinky Curly Come Clean Moisturizing Shampoo[/buylink]

    My hair is really thick and porous due to damage and I want to say it's coarse, but I'm not really sure. I really, really want to post a picture, but I don't have a camera! I may try to get my brother to lend me his.

    Sbudsky, I appreciate your idea and I'm trying not to be so skeptical, but I've always looked kind of terrible in pictures...I do want to take one, though. I'm sort of in this area? http://www.short-hair-style.com/a-new-look-for-curly-hair.html Only with three times as much hair, and poofy, and coarser-looking.

    MirCurls, how do I hate my hair? Let me count the ways! Lol. It doesn't shine like I want it to, it's super frizzy, and when my curls ARE distinguishable they aren't "together". The strands are all sort of following the same curl/wave pattern, but they don't form a concrete "curl". Does that make sense? It's always really bothered me, but I don't know if I'm describing it effectively. I want it to look like a head of "curls" and not a big frizzy mass.

    Thanks you guys, again! :)
  • SbudskySbudsky Posts: 261Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    One other thought I had is that it might be worthwhile to seek out a CG-trained stylist for a new cut, or even just a consultation. They would hopefully be able to assess your hair's needs and help you modify your current routine accordingly.

    Also, I noticed you don't mention any styling products other than leave-in in your routine... What gels, curl creams, etc. have you tried so far?
    funshine wrote: »
    Thanks so much you guys! All your support and insight really means a lot to me. :) It feels good knowing I'm not alone. I have my routine posted on the newbie board, but I'll put it here too:

    Every other day-Cowash and detangle w/Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition, condition w/AOHR (but I just ran out of that and got GPB instead; haven't used yet) Leave in GFTN

    Once a week-[buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Come-Clean-Moisturizing-Shampoo-p-844.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=Kinky-Curly-Come-Clean-Moisturizing-Shampoo]Kinky Curly Come Clean Moisturizing Shampoo[/buylink]

    My hair is really thick and porous due to damage and I want to say it's coarse, but I'm not really sure. I really, really want to post a picture, but I don't have a camera! I may try to get my brother to lend me his.

    Sbudsky, I appreciate your idea and I'm trying not to be so skeptical, but I've always looked kind of terrible in pictures...I do want to take one, though. I'm sort of in this area? http://www.short-hair-style.com/a-new-look-for-curly-hair.html Only with three times as much hair, and poofy, and coarser-looking.

    MirCurls, how do I hate my hair? Let me count the ways! Lol. It doesn't shine like I want it to, it's super frizzy, and when my curls ARE distinguishable they aren't "together". The strands are all sort of following the same curl/wave pattern, but they don't form a concrete "curl". Does that make sense? It's always really bothered me, but I don't know if I'm describing it effectively. I want it to look like a head of "curls" and not a big frizzy mass.

    Thanks you guys, again! :)
    waves, loose coils, and cherub curls (=mixed 2s through 3a), very fine texture overall (but with medium and even coarse strands scattered throughout)
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    funshine wrote: »

    MirCurls, how do I hate my hair? Let me count the ways! Lol. It doesn't shine like I want it to, it's super frizzy, and when my curls ARE distinguishable they aren't "together". The strands are all sort of following the same curl/wave pattern, but they don't form a concrete "curl". Does that make sense? It's always really bothered me, but I don't know if I'm describing it effectively. I want it to look like a head of "curls" and not a big frizzy mass.

    Thanks you guys, again! :)

    It may be possible for you to have "curls" as you want them. It may be not at all possible.

    So then the question is how do you make what your hair will do healthy and attractive?

    This week, I've experimented with a different look. I stopped using stylers/gels/pomades. Only cowashed and rinsed out and used some LI (cause my hair is really dry and porous.) My hair is very soft and touchable, and yes, the curls are not as defined, they are more like this MASS of textured hair with some curl definition here and there. But my hair looks like 4 inches longer and it looks more voluminous, and I think it looks like "cool hippie-gypsy chick" hair. Yeah, there's frizz, too. But there is not just one sort of curl/clump/ringlet that's nice. Textured hair can do all sorts of things.

    Maybe find what your hair will do--take those objective eye pics. And just find a way to maximize the good qualities in your hair. If your hair is resistant to clumping, then the pursuit of clumpy curls will only make you miserable. It's a futile quest.

    I do suggest you post several pics of your hair doing its thang, front, side and back, and maybe people with similar looking hair can say what they did to maximize its potential.

    Maybe you're more meant to live with waves and not curls, so pursuing curls will be an ever-frustrating pattern. Embrace waves.

    And as for shine: Lots of celebrities with curly/textured hair don't have shine, either. Smooth surfaces reflect; textured surfaces tend not to. Maybe glow a bit, but not really super shine, unless a shine-product is added. There are products that give shine if that is super-important to you:

    ~[buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Curl-Junkie-Curls-in-a-Bottle-p-995.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=Curl-Junkie-Curls-in-a-Bottle]CJ CIAB[/buylink] for one.

    ~Shine sprays exist (though most I know, like the MoroccanOil one, are not CG, if that matters).

    ~A clear glaze every month or two months adds shine. Worth the investment if that matters a lot to you. Sebastian Laminates (the one I use) is gentle and actually can improve frizz (does on me). I got a tube of clear for my hubby who is blonde, and a tube in deep brunette for me. We take them to the salon with us. When I get a trim, I get laminated. My porous hair benefits from the sealing property, too.

    ~A light touch of something like [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/The-Jane-Carter-Solution-Nourish--Shine-p-175.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=the-jane-carter-solution-nourish-shine]Jane Carter Solution Nourish & Shine[/buylink] gives shine. (ie, a pomade) Coconut oil, too.

    If your hair won't shine despite being in great moisture-protein balance, then accept you don't have shiny hair (neither do most curlies in the way we think of SHINE). Although my hair can look really shiny in some pictures, we can't see that necessarily in mirrors. Especially with dark hair. I have almost blackhair. This baby ain't gonna shine unless wet or having [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Curl-Junkie-Curls-in-a-Bottle-p-995.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=Curl-Junkie-Curls-in-a-Bottle]CIAB[/buylink] in it. It will glow if I keep it well moisturized, but shine????

    In any case, a lot of times, when we focus on what we see other hairs do that ours don't, we don't notice what beautiful things our own hair can do. Our own beauty.

    I suspect your hair can look amazing....but you're trying to do someone else's hair.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • pedahehpedaheh Posts: 4,812Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I've read that coarse and porous is a particularly frustrating combination. You've been doing this longer then I have and are probably already aware of everything I plan to post. There is no organized method to learn things on this site. Sometimes you miss information as you are learning. I'll post some stuff in case you missed it the first time around.

    Clumps- try the super soaker method or the ice queen method. Ecostyler is a magic clump maker for me. Ecostyler has both wheat protein and glycerin if either is an issue for you. Assuming you are able to get clumps, then read the next two paragraphs.
    Once I've achieved clumps (I get them scrunching product, upside down, into wet hair), I plop, then pixie diffuse. I can't scrunch my hair with a towel or do much to manipulate my hair or I loose clumps.
    If diffusing doesn't work for you can try pressing out the water with a microfiber towel. Gather up a section and press the towel against your head and hold for like 30 seconds to a minute (until the towel has soaked up as much moisture as it can). Then move to the next section.

    Shine- Honestly I don't have shiny hair. Two things that can help with shine are flax seed gel and spiral solutions firm hold gel.

    Frizz can be caused by so many things. Check the techniques sticky at the top of the page. Read the first post on the Master Post on Frizz. It describes different types of frizz and some of the causes. It may help you narrow down possible causes.

    Have you tried experimenting with protein? Even though you have coarse hair, small amounts of protein might help because your hair is also porous.

    I hope things start to come together for you.
    The last few months were frustrating for me. I have dry, but picky hair that hates most moisturizing ingredients. Of all the products I've tried since May, only one has actually worked. I after plugging away, I've almost got a routine figured out. (knock on wood)
    http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
    2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
    Cowash: Tresemme naturals
    Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
    Curl enhancer: FSG
    Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
    PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
    Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
  • rudeechickrudeechick Posts: 6,726Registered Users
    We have all been there and any curly who says she hasnt is a liar!:eye:

    May I suggest posting pictures so we may suggest cuts, techniques and or products? Let us all help you as we have helped each other. Yes, our hair will always be "work".... but even the hardest job should have benefits!;)
    Curls,Coils,Waves & WhatKnot:geek:
    3miii/My HGs tame bulk&frizz/Give definition w/o crunch
    My Photobucket Album
  • GirlWithUkuleleGirlWithUkulele Posts: 150Registered Users
    You know what I do? I keep my student ID from last year on me, just until we get this year's. Compared to that photo, I look like I have the world's best hair. It also helps me to think of what a disaster my hair would've been if I hadn't have found this site. It's still getting curlier thanks to hormones, I think. Even when I think I have a bad hair day, I still get compliments, so remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you have gorgeous hair; you just don't realize it.
    Victoria, Keeper of the Celestial Charts and Protector of the Aquamarine Diadem in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

    3a/b; low porosity; dense; medium thickness. Growing out a weird haircut.
    Cleanse: As I Am Curl Cowash; Giovanni Smooth as Silk Shampoo
    Condition:Tresemme Naturals
    LI:KCKT; CHS LI
    Stylers: AG Re:Coil; CJCCCCL; KCCC; AG Mousse Gel; HESMU;
    Denman Brush.

    Treatments:SheaMoisture Fruit Fusion; Aphogee PT
  • asianrunnerasianrunner Posts: 2,251Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Well last fall/winter I didn't even try to make my weak waves wavier, I just followed the mod-CG method of low pooing/water washing/cowashing and then a good rinse out+leave-in. I wasn't happy with how my waves looked when I tried to use product so I just concentrated on getting my hair healthy!

    This summer I had a ton of time to play with products so I went a little crazy and bought a ton. Now I have a much better idea of what my hair likes but I had to do a lot of experimenting!
    Coarse texture, normal-high porosity, normal elasticity (Komaza Care), very weak waves
    cleanser: Redken Fresh Curls Shampoo, CJ Daily Fix

    rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm, CJ Beauticurls, CJ Smoothing

    jellies/creams: CR Curl Maker, KCCC
    gels: CJ CQ, CJ Pattern Pusha, BRHG

  • IAgirlIAgirl Posts: 2,540Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If you have hair like that -- (even with your "alterations") I envy you! You're going to find a style you like, but first you have to learn to like what you have!
    I have a few suggestions for you. One is that I never liked the Garnier Triple Nutrition conditioner. Even with my fine wavy hair, it always left me feeling tangly and dry. You might try co-washing with Suave Naturals or VO5. They seem to be more "smoothing."
    Another idea is to look at the websites for curly hair products. Some have great styling tips and videos. I'm not endorsing the products or methods -- but it really helps to see what they're doing (even though they are professionals and its 100% easier to work on somebody else's hair). WARNING: TIME KILLER (but totally worth the time invested)!

    http://www.ouidad.com/Videos#About%20Ouidad
    http://www.frizzoff.com/Videos.aspx
    http://www.curljunkie.com/Meet-Our-Curl-Junkies-s/29.htm
    http://shop.curlisto.com/pages/styling_your_hair.html

    One last idea. I am a scientist and I learned from one of my teachers that the best way to get to know what something really looks like is to draw it. It's like you discover an entire new world in a single object.

    Draw some of your hairs. It totally doesn't work to just look at it. Must draw. Even if you're a lousy artist. Draw the ones that come out on their own. You will see something new. Maybe get to understand what your hair is doing a little better -- is it waving back-and-forth, is it twisting around itself, a little of both? If you wet the strand of hair and smooth your fingers down the strand several times, does it change shape? Much to observe and learn.
  • LogyLogy Posts: 156Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    The one pic I have posted is the best my hair looked (in my opinion). No one here has seen the other 100+ days of my CG journey. The look on my long-time hair stylist's face when I said I didn't want to flat-iron anymore. The many bucks I have spent looking for the perfect product. So much time conditioning, applying oils, low-pooing out the oils, using creams, fluffing, smoothing, deep treating, and, yes, grabbing the scissors and snipping here and there.

    I was surprised this weekend about how emotional I can be about my hair. Went back to my stylist with my curly hair. Positive, she commented about how healthy my hair felt. And then she said how my hair looked Bohemian. I think she meant that as a compliment. I took it as a compliment at first. But then I went back to my life. My soul wants to be "bohemian". My hair wants to be "bohemian". My life is suburban, corporate America, surrounded by polished, smooth-haired, non-frizzy "Stepford Wives". How can this bohemian hair and soul fit in?

    Maybe my hair is telling me something? Maybe I'm just being too emotional about it?

    Maybe the quest for the perfect curl is another example of comformity?

    Maybe I need some medication!!!:tongue10:
    54, mix of 3a, 2b,c, with the occasional straight strand thrown in to keep things interesting. Low porosity. Very fine!

    HG: CJCF Never lets me down.
    Others I Like: DevaCurl One Co, CHSCK, Giovanni Smooth as Silk, SSDD, AnGel, DevaCurl No Poo, Elucence Moisture Balancing Condish, Curls Like Us towels.

    "Still crazy after all these years" Paul Simon :nemo:
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Logy wrote: »
    The one pic I have posted is the best my hair looked (in my opinion). No one here has seen the other 100+ days of my CG journey. The look on my long-time hair stylist's face when I said I didn't want to flat-iron anymore. The many bucks I have spent looking for the perfect product. So much time conditioning, applying oils, low-pooing out the oils, using creams, fluffing, smoothing, deep treating, and, yes, grabbing the scissors and snipping here and there.

    I was surprised this weekend about how emotional I can be about my hair. Went back to my stylist with my curly hair. Positive, she commented about how healthy my hair felt. And then she said how my hair looked Bohemian. I think she meant that as a compliment. I took it as a compliment at first. But then I went back to my life. My soul wants to be "bohemian". My hair wants to be "bohemian". My life is suburban, corporate America, surrounded by polished, smooth-haired, non-frizzy "Stepford Wives". How can this bohemian hair and soul fit in?

    I was in my 20's in the 80s, so that's when I had my first experiences dressing corporate. At that time, curly hair and suits was NOT contradictory. Curly hair was in, big hair was in, and big hair went great with those shoulder-padded suits and coat-dresses.

    I think the idea that corporate hair needs to be sleek is part trend and part stereotype. People follow trends. If anything, having curly hair should set one apart and make one memorable if everyone else is cookie-cutter sleeked-down.

    And curly hair can be slicked back, too, if the need or want ever arises. Buns, half-dos, and gelled back curls can be fasionable, too, if done with skill.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • LogyLogy Posts: 156Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    "Must draw."

    Oh, I like that, IAGirl. Good idea to understand and to visually focus!
    54, mix of 3a, 2b,c, with the occasional straight strand thrown in to keep things interesting. Low porosity. Very fine!

    HG: CJCF Never lets me down.
    Others I Like: DevaCurl One Co, CHSCK, Giovanni Smooth as Silk, SSDD, AnGel, DevaCurl No Poo, Elucence Moisture Balancing Condish, Curls Like Us towels.

    "Still crazy after all these years" Paul Simon :nemo:
  • funshinefunshine Posts: 7Registered Users
    Thanks again :)! So much advice! I hardly know what to do with it all. I totally forgot about my Ecostyler! I've been using it since before summer ended. I like it better than the other things I've tried (HHTT gel/mousse, Wen styling creme, [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]KCCC[/buylink]), but for a while I don't think I was using enough, and that may have been why it was getting so poofy. All the reviews I'd read said not to use too much, but I have a LOT of hair. I'm beginning to play with proportions.

    I must confess I don't know what "clumps" are...though I've heard it mentioned several times. Is that the curl definition thing I was talking about? I do think I need to work on liking my hair the way it is. I've strived to obtain this one type of hair for so long, I've never really considered embracing it for what it is now. I likened that to giving up. But maybe I'm too hard on my hair, maybe it's not that bad. I do get compliments, but I got teased about it when I was younger, not necessarily a lot, but enough to make me insecure about it, and dismiss any positive attention as charity. I need to get over it.

    I really do like the GFTN. I don't know if I'd call it an HG for me, but it makes my hair feel so soft in the shower. I've tried Suave Naturals in the Strawberry flavor, but it was a while ago. I may get it again and compare.

    Lol Lodgy, you're kind of poetic. :)
  • pedahehpedaheh Posts: 4,812Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Clumps are when all the hair in say 1/4-1/2 inch square section of your hair form one single curl instead of several stringy ones.
    http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
    2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
    Cowash: Tresemme naturals
    Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
    Curl enhancer: FSG
    Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
    PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
    Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
  • IAgirlIAgirl Posts: 2,540Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Working with the hair you've got -- embracing it -- is far from giving up.

    This is more like mastering an art. Maybe you were trying to style your hair like something it isn't -- like trying to mold clay or carve marble when really what you have is a fabulous set of oil paints, brushes and canvases. Learn oil painting instead!
    The "hits" we take growing up about our physical appearance really stick and we tend to repeat them to ourselves and get all out of touch with reality and the good stuff is pushed away.

    I dismiss positive attention (usually) too with all manner of excuses. Compliments are so rare and are such a gift. Let them soak in. Be gracious to the giver of the compliment.

    You are on your way, funshine! All the best to you.

    You're on your way!
  • BeachCurlGurlBeachCurlGurl Posts: 168Registered Users
    Logy wrote: »
    The one pic I have posted is the best my hair looked (in my opinion). No one here has seen the other 100+ days of my CG journey. The look on my long-time hair stylist's face when I said I didn't want to flat-iron anymore. The many bucks I have spent looking for the perfect product. So much time conditioning, applying oils, low-pooing out the oils, using creams, fluffing, smoothing, deep treating, and, yes, grabbing the scissors and snipping here and there.

    I was surprised this weekend about how emotional I can be about my hair. Went back to my stylist with my curly hair. Positive, she commented about how healthy my hair felt. And then she said how my hair looked Bohemian. I think she meant that as a compliment. I took it as a compliment at first. But then I went back to my life. My soul wants to be "bohemian". My hair wants to be "bohemian". My life is suburban, corporate America, surrounded by polished, smooth-haired, non-frizzy "Stepford Wives". How can this bohemian hair and soul fit in?

    Maybe my hair is telling me something? Maybe I'm just being too emotional about it?

    Maybe the quest for the perfect curl is another example of comformity?

    Maybe I need some medication!!!:tongue10:


    Great post Lodgy! Well said. I can very much relate to the suburban corporate America comment.

    All around us is ads and talk of flat ironing, brazilian/keratin straightening treatments. Curly hair is not very in at the moment - its the cookie cutter straight smooth look. Kinda boring.
    3a fine; dense; medium-low porosity, frizz prone

    Current Favs: KM Shampoo bars, Darcy's pumpkin seed conditioner, CJ Repair Me; CJCR, CJCCC; Marie Dean products; DM Miracurls Gelly; KCCC; CJCQ; LA Looks sport gel

    :love4:Curl Junkie & Marie Dean


    :sunny:http://public.fotki.com/BeachCurlGurl/

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