Wedding Q!

Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
I am attending my first wedding as an adult, so I'm not really versed on all of the etiquette. I don't want to do anything inappropriate, so I have two questions for y'all: 1. Is it inappropriate to wear black to a wedding? I live in the Caribbean but am attending a fall, evening wedding in New England and am having a dilemma about what to wear. I do not want to purchase something that I will never wear again due to the climate I live in, yet do not want to look inappropriate (I already own a couple black dresses). 2. How much is appropriate to spend on a wedding gift? The registry has gifts anywhere from $20 - $500. I can't afford a lot, but don't want to look cheap. How much should I spend and is it okay to buy more than one gift? Thanks in adavance... I feel so :confused5: (I'm sorry I can't break the paragraph up more. My enter button isn't working)
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Comments

  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm hardly an expert, but I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing black *shrug* I think you're supposed to avoid wearing white (as that's the bride's color and you don't want to "show her up") but beyond that, it certainly wouldn't matter to ME.

    For gifts, I'd say spend what you're comfortable spending. Most people put a wide variety of costs on their registry for that exact reason. You could combine a couple of cheaper items, if you want, or purchase one bigger one. Or even go with a gift card at one of their registered locations so they can pick up whatever they want after the fact.
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  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    Some people believe that black is not appropriate for a wedding because it is too somber--weddings are supposed to be festive. However, every wedding I've ever been to has had plenty of guests in black! And I've been to a couple Fall New England weddings, if that helps! Honestly, I try to avoid wearing all black, though. At least try to brighten it up with a colorful wrap or jewelery or other accessories, I'd suggest.

    I spend between $50-$100 on a wedding gift generally. Don't worry about looking cheap.

    Also, don't bring the gift to the wedding--just order off the registry and have it delivered, or have a gift card delivered.
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I always give money for a wedding gift and that's pretty much the norm in this area. $100 is about standard per person, but, of course, gift giving is always individual.

    A black dress would be fine to wear. Wear some colorful/sparkly accessories or shoes to make the dress not somber.
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    *whew* Thanks for the replies!!! I've been sweating bullets over here... It's time to learn all this big girl stuff lol. Black it is then!! And I was figuring $50 - $100 for a gift :) THANK YOU for taking time to help me out!
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    So, I bought a dress off ebay for the wedding. I looked up wedding etiquette and everything said that having a floral print on a white background is not a faux pas. Here's the dress:
    AAAAAhoVN4cAAAAAARSArg.jpg?v=1214512474000

    And a friend of mine who went to fashion design school is going to remove the white tulle (?) and add a black shoulder sash similar to this:
    DSC_5273.jpg

    Then this is the dress my sister bought:
    61eb8b7f0287b42a85b313072c7f859f.jpg

    And my mom bought a blue knee-length dress that is strapless with a ring at the bust that has two ties to form a halter, like this I suppose:
    1823_1_57_p.jpg

    What do you think?! I'm so excited!! And, I just got a couple of things off the registry. I figure the least I can spend is about what I spent on my dress :D
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm thinking the weather will be too chilly for the dresses you've posted. And I personally am not a fan of when women try to "winterize" a summer dress.

    But if you really don't care, then no one else should either. If it were my wedding, I totally would not care what you wore.

    edit -- I missed the first pic. Yes, you could make the blue floral dress work w/ a tight, dressy cardigan.

  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    Eh, I'm not a fan of my sister's dress (for a wedding) but that's up to her. I actually haven't seen my mom's dress, so I posted a pic that looked like what I thought of when she described it to me. My family lives in Florida and I live in the Caribbean, so it's hard to cough up dough for a "winter-ish" dress.

    But I loooove my dress & I don't care what anyone else is wearing (except for the bride, of course!!!!) :toothy4:
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    Heck, my MOH wore a black dress..lol
    But then again, I wanted it...my colors were white, mauve, black.....it was a stunning dress.....
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Wow...the dress your sister bought...is it that short on her? Honestly, it's kinda flashy for a wedding.
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    Yes, it is short on her. Let's just say she and I have different taste in apparel :angel12:
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    When and where is the wedding? You said Fall in New England...but early October in Connecticut can be a totally different temperature than late November in Northern Maine, for example!

    You have a jacket, right? It's a wedding, of course women will be in strappy/strapless dresses. But it's quite possible the temperature will be in the 30's and 40's. As in, just above the temperature water freezes at. Even just walking to your car, you need a jacket! People will mostly all have a nice jacket, sweater, and/or wrap to wear that goes well with their dress.

    The dress you chose is a spring/summer dress for sure, but the changes you're suggesting will make it a bit more fall-appropriate. I'm sure you'll look great. But for next time, I wouldn't suggest a floral for fall! As much as I think you're sister's dress looks cheap and a bit tacky, I also think it's a bit more Fall-appropriate than yours!

    Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll all look great and have a wonderful time! No one will be thinking "WHAT is she wearing?!"
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    Mid-October on Cape Cod. I lived there for 4 years prior to moving to the Caribbean. Should be 60's during the day and 40's at night. But could always be warmer/colder, of course.

    I have a black cashmere cardigan to wear during the ceremony/reception and a long, black dress coat from Banana Republic, plus some type of hosiery.

    I'm unclear why I shouldn't have picked a floral for the fall? (Sorry, I'm not very fashionable and thus why I asked for help!! :cat: ) I have very dark hair and very fair skin. I look much better in cool colors vs. typical autumnal shades. It would be a waste of money for me to buy something in say, a rust shade. And I need the dress to be versatile (i.e. as in I can actually wear it where I live).

    As for my sister's dress, I mentioned that it is not my personal taste, but I support her for choosing something that she likes and feels comfortable in. To each her own :)
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I don't see a problem with the floral print. It has a bit of black in it, and you're adding the black shoulder thingy, so it's not going to look too summery.
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    I have a black cashmere cardigan to wear during the ceremony/reception and a long, black dress coat from Banana Republic, plus some type of hosiery.

    I'm unclear why I shouldn't have picked a floral for the fall?

    Well first, your coat and cardigan sound like it will look great with the dress!

    As someone else said, because your floral has black in it, and your adding some more, it takes it a bit away from summery. In general, florals, pastels, whites, bright yellow, etc. all just have a summery feel to them. You definitely don't need to wear "Fall colors" in the Fall, but in general one should avoid looking like they're wearing a summer/spring dress. Any blues, greens, reds, etc. would be fine! Patterns are fine, too. In general, I'd stick with deeper and more saturated colors, avoid white, and pick heavier and more luxe fabrics for Fall/Winter as compared to Spring/Summer. Just like someone would like ridiculous wearing a black velvet dress in July, someone would look ridiculous wearing a cotton floral in December.
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    Who Me? wrote: »
    Just like someone would like ridiculous wearing a black velvet dress in July, someone would look ridiculous wearing a cotton floral in December.

    LOL okay, I totally get it :toothy7: I really appreciate your input! I'm nervous about doing things the right way as it is a family wedding, and you know, family talks forever I'll post a pic of my outfit after the wedding for you to see!
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.

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