CurlTalk

Are you mixed?

rolltidegalrolltidegal Posts: 307Registered Users
I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).
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Comments

  • porque_pigporque_pig Posts: 238Registered Users
    I have not had that experience (I'm just a wavy), but I would probably get annoyed over time with such a question. If it makes you feel any better, I don't exactly find a visit to Bojangles to be an enlightening cultural experience (although it is usually a delicious one).

    I wish people would develop some kind of filter. Nothing irritates me more than extremely personal questions, and that would definitely fall into that category.
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  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users
    I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!

    I think what's happening with you as a white person is that a sterotype may be being placed on you because of what your hair looks like.. people generally associate tighter curls with people of color..specifically black people.

    So they probably think your hair is a give away that you are mixed with black which is a big misconception considering the fact that the majority of the world actually does have curly hair it's just in certain countries straightening the hair is so popular you can never tell who has curly or kinky hair...and white women that actually do have very tight curl patterns are rarely seen because they almost always straighten it. So when someone actually see a white person that wears their natural hair in it's normal very curly state..they feel the need to justify it some how..so they assume.. "Oh she must be part black."

    And btw, plenty of people of color have freckles and light eyes and well anyone can dye their hair so those are not traits exclusive to white people so that alone wouldn't neccessarily make people think you should be excluded from being mixed.

    So I think it's probably some silly ignorant assumption they make about you based on your hair.

    I have to admit..it made me giggle that you put "I'm white" twice. I felt like saying.. "Hey .. hey..I believe ya!" :toothy3:
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  • BigHairLalaBigHairLala Posts: 116Registered Users
    I only get it from others who are mixed. Or rather, they make a point of asking my background, not assuming that I am mixed.

    Most folks see me as Italian, which I am,partly. I've got some stereotypical, darker Italian features/coloring. But, surprise, my Italian relatives are fair with lighter eyes. Joke's on people who make assumptions.

    I am Italian, Scottish, Russian, Slovenian and drum roll please, Jamaican. Folks who ask my background are usually of some mixed background themselves. N. Africans ask me often too. Algerian, Moroccan, Egyptian.

    I just answer the question and explain my background. I often enjoy surprising people.
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  • missbanjomissbanjo Posts: 3,088Registered Users
    That's the thing, you know? Pretty much nobody knows where their ancestor(s) came from 5-6-700 (or more) years ago.
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  • SydkneeeSydkneee Posts: 25Registered Users
    Yes; I have but it was a LONG time ago in Elementary School. It was really outta the blue; one of my friends just asked me "Hey, are you mixed because you don't look completely black." Haha.
  • Alice9nobaraAlice9nobara Posts: 34Registered Users
    I get this question every now and again. But, I've never been offended by it or anything... I don't see how it would be offensive....
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  • kiwi2cutekiwi2cute Posts: 8Registered Users
    haha... Sometimes I get asked if I am mixed but not because of my hair. Sometimes people I think are curious because they unknowingly stereotype people based on hair and features. I have full lips and a non wider bridged nose. I am hispanic (puerto rican)... I have olive colored complexion. I no longer get upset but explain my background. My grandmother is dark where as my grandfather was fair skinned. I have cousins with blonde hair and blue eyes with beautiful curly hair. I have cousins that are beautiful caramel complexion with 4b/c curls. So you never know just by looking at the exterior. People are curious and sometimes explaining helps educate others...
  • rolltidegalrolltidegal Posts: 307Registered Users
    It doesn't upset/offend me, I just find it kind of strange. And I was extremely confused with how to proceed the time the person who asked didn't believe me when I said I wasn't mixed. It's just kind of a bizarre question to get, I think. I dunno. Maybe that's just me.
    Roll Tide!
    I was at the 2009 and 2011 BCS National Championship Games :)



    Medium-coarse, super high density, normal porosity, low elasticity.
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  • straightkinkystraightkinky Posts: 119Registered Users
    I dont get that question but my son does. He is very light skinned (because he dresses like he's afraid of the sun) and his fro is really light brown, almost blonde. Kids in his class see me and ask him if his dad is caucasian all the time. Even when he tells them no, they don't believe him.
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  • hohohoho Posts: 19Registered Users
    I think you have the courage to speak out, I admire you, you are a great woman.
  • kiwi2cutekiwi2cute Posts: 8Registered Users
    If they don't believe you that's there problem. You are what you are and no one can tell you otherwise. Keep shinning and keep being you ;)
  • TheGnomeTheGnome Posts: 10Registered Users
    I usually get asked where I'm from, but I'm not sure that's because of the hair. Still fairly odd, though. For the record I am Arab, although my father is from the North African countries and my mother is Middle Eastern. Most people don't believe this because I am not black, and apparently everyone living in Africa is black *rolls eyes*
  • pinkd78pinkd78 Posts: 29Registered Users
    Yes, very, actually my family is mixed with nearly every ethinicity on both sides, south and east asian, latino, black and white.

    But directly I am black mixed with latino and chinese, some white.
    From Father half latino (cuban), half black

    Mother:1/4 chinese, black , white.

    I have had people think that I am south asian, when i am not, sine I have feautres from all ethnicities, latino nose lips, slight asian like resembling eyes, lighter skin tone.
  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users
    I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

    But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).

    After traveling outside the US, I noticed we put more emphasis on White and Black than other countries. What makes a person Black or White or whatever? I 'd always considered myself Black but I'm noticing a lot of people from other races (Arabs, Asians, ect.) that have the same hue or darker skin than I do. And my family has lots of freckles. You said you're half Italian. A lot of Italians I know don't consider themselves White. Even get mad if you call them White. Maybe it's because there is so much North African ancestry in Italy and other Mediterranean countries. You could very well have some "Black" in you. When I was in Morocco, people kept asking me if I was Indian.
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!

    all of this...except i'm not biracial. :)

    i think once i get past the ignorance of "you can't be *insert race here* because of your hair" the only thing i find super annoying and maybe even slightly offensive is when somebody insists that i'm lying. why lie about it??? its not that serious!
  • twirlygrannytwirlygranny Posts: 1,114Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    People are so ignorant, they don't even know that Africans have wavy, curly & kinky hair. I'm black and don't have light skin but because of my hair, I've had people ask me if I am or are my parents are mixed. LOL...I'm just a black person with curly hair like both my parents. I haven't researched my racial history and really don't care. And the funny thing is that it's always black people that are questioning me.
  • roseannadanaroseannadana Posts: 5,632Registered Users
    Nobody has asked me if I'm mixed but I have been asked, "what are you, anyway?" I don't find it annoying as much as a telling about the virtual stranger who would ask such a personal question. Close friends who've asked me get a pass because it's a chance for me to educate them that curly hair isn't "owned" by any particular race.

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  • veezorveezor Posts: 42Registered Users
    People don't ask if I'm mixed but "what are you". It's a curse of being olive skinned (avatar picture is flushed) and curly haired. I've been asked if I was everything from part african to hawaiian to japanese! (I dunno, people are WEIRD.) I am a mut to say the least, my curly hair comes from the Cuban/Sicilian side of my family whereas my mother's side is mainland northern Italians (typically fairer in features), Austrian, and English. I went to a family reunion once and it was one of the most uncomfortable situations of my young adult life! Being asked not only "what are you" but "who's are you?". :sad3:
  • FairlyCurlyFairlyCurly Posts: 839Registered Users
    Yes, I'm half Sicilian and half Ulster Scots and I have been asked if I'm half Caucasian and half African-American. It's usually African-Americans who ask me if I'm half African. Sicilians have African and Arab blood in them, so I guess I am a mixture of continents. I also get mistaken for being Greek or East European. I definitely don't look Ulster Scots, as I was reminded of when I visited Northern Ireland last year. I mean, I loved Northern Ireland and I had a great time there, but you do get stared at a lot if you look so-called "ethnic."
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  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    I definitely get asked this often, and I am no longer offended. I only get p.o.ed when someone tries to ARGUE with me about it after I tell them I'm not. My dad told me that apparently if you don't have "nappy can'tcha, don'tcha hair" - his words, not mine, meaning you can't do anything and don't want to do anything with it - people will assume you're mixed with something...but I also got this question often when I had a relaxer too.

    OP, it's probably a combo of your hair, freckles and red color that makes people ask. When they ask you, just say, "Nope, I'm not!" and keep it moving. No biggie.
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  • JewelCurlsJewelCurls Posts: 191Registered Users
    I too am Sicillian and Irish, and I have a very ambiguous ethnicity. Folks of African decent think that I am mixed African and Caucasian, Native Hawaiian and Islanders think that I am either full-blooded or mixed Islander, I even get Indian, Middle Eastern, Native American, and once, Mongolian (not sure why; my eyes are olive shaped, but not *that* olive shaped). Once, a lady I met from Brazil got so excited to see me that she got halfway through a sentence in Portuguese before she saw the confused look on my face and stopped because I obviously did not understand her.

    I think it is a tremendous compliment, since people always seem to think I am the same ethnicity they are, and so find me more approachable. Luckily, I am friendly, so once they find out I am not, they usually still stay and talk to me anyway.
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  • CopaseticCopasetic Posts: 222Registered Users
    I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

    But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).

    Ha. That's funny. I AM mixed; I have olive skin, curly hair, and green eyes, but people always think I am white. I don't think of myself as white, and whenever I say as much people are like, "Uh, what do you mean you're not white?"
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  • Robin-in-FLRobin-in-FL Posts: 1,731Registered Users
    Nobody has asked me if I'm mixed but I have been asked, "what are you, anyway?" I don't find it annoying as much as a telling about the virtual stranger who would ask such a personal question. Close friends who've asked me get a pass because it's a chance for me to educate them that curly hair isn't "owned" by any particular race.

    Yes I've never gotten "are you mixed?" but have gotten the "what are you?" question my whole life. Which I thought was odd as I have light skin and eyes, white lady nose/mouth, always thought I just looked "white" but found out mom is part native american indian, dad part spanish/north african. So I guess some people can see this though I can't really.
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  • ChevelureChevelure Posts: 101Registered Users
    Sometimes when I point out that part of the animus towards curly/kinky hair is because of its association (no matter how inaccurate) with being black, I think people think I'm exaggerating. But perceptions of race and racial stereotypes are definitely part of the textured hair issue. This is not a mere cosmetic or aesthetic issue.

    I'm African American, not mixed (at least not for a few generations), but people, usually other black people, ask me whether I am. I think it's unbelievably rude.
  • ElenaMayleeElenaMaylee Posts: 88Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!

    all of this...except i'm not biracial. :)

    i think once i get past the ignorance of "you can't be *insert race here* because of your hair" the only thing i find super annoying and maybe even slightly offensive is when somebody insists that i'm lying. why lie about it??? its not that serious!

    LMAO at both your comments...My sister and I were approached in the Mall last week by two guys who asked if we were biracial. Not because of our looks because we are both a good shade of brown but because of our hair. Both of us wear our hair natural and always have. When we said no they look at us like we were lying. Then were like you are mixed with something and maybe your family is hiding it.
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  • abstractcurlsabstractcurls Posts: 380Registered Users
    People almost always assume that I'm either Hispanic or Italian. Even before I got married and had a crazy Italian last name. I have very dark brown hair and eyes. I'm niether. I'm Irish and Scottish mostly. I'm so pale... I have no idea where people get their ideas. I'm mean super pasty white. Like oh crap it's casper the friendly ghost oh no wait it's just abstractcurls kinda pale :wave:
  • AmberBrownAmberBrown Posts: 1,072Registered Users
    Like someone else said earlier, people ask me where I'm from. Apparently, I look Ethiopian (not like any Ethiopian I've seen but mmkay :sleepy2: ). Sometimes they do get a lil feisty about it. Because I need to lie about my ethnicity? It's never made me mad though. Once I got past the confusion (like I said, I don't think I look like a black non American) I thought it was pretty cool :) I'd love to know where my African ancestors were from. If Ethiopa...somehow...awesome! But dude, don't argue me down about me! I'm the expert ;)
  • kekesmumkekesmum Posts: 6Registered Users
    Well I'm as white as they come so I don't get asked it but my husband is Jamaican. My daughter has a pretty dark skin tone considering how fair I am (blonde hair and blue eyes) as well as 4a hair so I get asked all the time...."is she yours?" What kind of question is that????? When I say "yes" they like to point out how different we look, like apparently I'm not sure if I gave birth to her or not and they need to set me straight.

    What's funny is that while my daughter looks like she is full black, my son looks like he's full white. My husband is a mix of black, white and Indian (you wouldn't know it looking at him) so technically our kids are more white than anything and about 3/8 black. Ever since my son was born people stopped asking me about my children, I think now they're so confused they're speechless. Thank goodness because I can't be bothered to explain the concept of interracial relationships anymore.
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  • mld1stmld1st Posts: 1Registered Users
    I mean there has got to be a better way to ask it.. What are you? Are you mixed? What you mixed with? HUH, REALLY?
  • Butterfly_CurlzButterfly_Curlz Posts: 955Registered Users
    Personally I think the rudeness factor of the question is dependent on the context of the conversation (are we already talking about race or are you some random person just asking me a question?) and will determine my response. Having grown up in a predominately "white" neighborhood (notice I hyphenated white bc what is "white & blk" anyway? we are all mixed w/something & white can mean anything from italian, irish, german, etc. ancestry just like blk can mean african, indian, 'white', creole...etc. etc..its just a simple label to encompass a bunch of different races based solely on ones skin complexion) so can we please pleeeeease let that go...especially that I'm 1/4 this and 3/4ths that...really who cares? Does it make you any better than someone else because you have more ____ in you than ___?

    Anyway, my point was that I've grown up in a predominately white area and I have always been asked are you mixed but until this past yr it never really bothered me until I was at wk. I had this one boy look at me and say "what are you". I was like wtf do you mean what am I?! It took all of my strength not to knock him the f**k out! First of all I'm a person just like you. Bottom line. I didn't even answer his question and tried to walk away but he kept going on and on. Next came "well aren't you going to answer me?...I mean you don't look all black. Are you mixed with asian or part hispanic or something".

    During another conversation at work about race I was asked again if I was mixed. I consider myself "blk" and don't outwardly identify w/anyother race (not bc I'm ashamed but because it's not first generation). Both of my grandmother's are mixed w/blk, white & indian and my dad has "that good hair" (people actually tell him 'you don't have hair like most blk people'...again wtf! and my son is just beginning preschool and the white teachers are always touching his hair and talking about how 'pretty it is'. I mean damn...is all 'blk hair' supposed to be dry,nappy and hard to manage?!)

    During that conversation at wk after I revealed my ancestry I then got 'oh...that's why you have a white girl nose and Oh thats why your cheek bones are so high and your eyes don't open all the way'. I really don't understand why people constantly want to place labels on others just so that they can feel comfortable. I have no control over what my ancestors did, who they laid in bed with nor do I have any control over what others did either. However just because my nose isn't wide or my eyes are slanted it doesn't mean that you have the right to invade my privacy or try and give a history exam just to satisfy ones curiousity.

    To all who are asking out of noseiness vs genuine interest please get a fu**in life...there are more important things going on in the world then who laid down w/who!
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