CurlTalk

Potentially heated topic about white women...

love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
Alright. Since some of you won't let this go, let's see how people handle this thread.

On M2LR & Co's premise, the title of this thread is fair game. I'm using it to discuss the following perceived cultural difference or stereotype. I've heard it said many times that white women tend to be more sexually permissive than minority women. Could this be cultural? does it have anything to do with more pressure within the white community to marry? Are white women more willing to please their men, no matter what it takes, than minority women? Discuss amongst yourselves.
M2LR & Co. wrote:
What's the difference of putting in a thread title:

**ADULT**
**NSFW**
**WARNING**
**POTENTIALLY HEATED TOPIC**

If the thread title itself doesn't give indications that it might be a potentially heated topic (race, religion, childbirth, parenting, breastfeeding, etc)...then what is the big deal about actually saying that a topic might become actually heated, or needs some other kind of warning?

Saying: "Question about Black Women/Stereotype" vs. "Potentially heated topic: Question about Black Women/Stereotype." or "Question about a Christian Stereotype" vs. "Potentially Heated Topic: Question about a Christain Stereotype."

They are both the same to me, and recognizing that a topic might become heated is a fair warning, I think.
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
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Comments

  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users
    Meaning what, that we do "more" sexually than women of other cultures?

    Maybe we're all just a bunch of sluts. :lol:
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    babywavy wrote:
    Meaning what, that we do "more" sexually than women of other cultures?

    Maybe we're all just a bunch of sluts. :lol:

    More willing to have sex, more willing to try different positions, including taboo ones, more willing to do what it takes to please, have (or land? keep?) a man.
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    What do you think the rule is about nosy Korean/African American biracial women? :roll:

    (just kidding - you know I love you, MC!)

    On a serious note, I did grow up with my family telling me that stereotype about promiscuous white women. I attribute that to their fear of me adopting what they saw as more permissive North American morals and hoping to shame me out of doing so, more than them having any actual facts about that.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Posts: 2,671Registered Users
    Is this a serious topic? I'll pretend like it is for now.

    I have never known white women to be more sexually permissive than black or other race women. No clue where the stereotype came about. To be fair, there is an equivalent stereotype for black women. The whole Jezebel thing.
    image.php?type=2&o=5&c=1&date=2009-10-07&babyname=Sebastian

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    I have no idea what to add. I have never heard they are more permissive or they have more pressure to marry. Nowadays I don't think anyone feels pressure to get married :lol: I think both those things are more a reflection of the current moral culture than anything specific to race.
  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    DarkAngel wrote:
    Is this a serious topic? I'll pretend like it is for now.

    I have never known white women to be more sexually permissive than black or other race women. No clue where the stereotype came about. To be fair, there is an equivalent stereotype for black women. The whole Jezebel thing.

    I agree. And to be perfectly honest, I've never heard that stereotype about white women.
  • Lydyybuggin76Lydyybuggin76 Posts: 219Registered Users
    Isn't that the stereotype of Asian women, moreso than Caucasian women? I thought the prevailing stereotype regarding Caucasian women was that they are more passive... :?:
    Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars.
    -Gravestone Inscription
  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.

    I don't think I do anything that would be considered "freaky". :lol: And I certainly didn't do anything "freaky" before marriage. Actually the race and rate of teen pregnancies where I live are in direct contrast to the stereotype you referred to.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.

    I don't think I do anything that would be considered "freaky". :lol: And I certainly didn't do anything "freaky" before marriage. Actually the race and rate of teen pregnancies where I live are in direct contrast to the stereotype you referred to.

    Teen pregnancies don't = promiscuity, they just = less use of/awareness of birth control or abortion.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Posts: 2,671Registered Users
    I thought about it more. I have heard the stereotype some. It's usually from college aged black guys explaining why they prefer the white wimmens.

    It usually applied to lower class women who seriously would do anything a guy wanted.
    image.php?type=2&o=5&c=1&date=2009-10-07&babyname=Sebastian

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • solangesolange Posts: 2,539Registered Users
    I've had this discussion with an African American guy friend that exclusively dates white women and asian women. He buys into this stereotype and also thinks that white/asian women are more cheerful and docile.

    I don't agree. I think that he has chosen white women that are this way, but he could have found women like this among any other ethnic group. He just happens to prefer the white/asian ones.
    3C, BSL Unstretched -
  • Lydyybuggin76Lydyybuggin76 Posts: 219Registered Users
    Amneris wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.

    I don't think I do anything that would be considered "freaky". :lol: And I certainly didn't do anything "freaky" before marriage. Actually the race and rate of teen pregnancies where I live are in direct contrast to the stereotype you referred to.

    Teen pregnancies don't = promiscuity, they just = less use of/awareness of birth control or abortion.

    EXACTLY.
    Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars.
    -Gravestone Inscription
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    I had always heard the exact opposite. Huh, who'd a thunked?
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    DarkAngel wrote:
    Is this a serious topic? I'll pretend like it is for now.

    I have never known white women to be more sexually permissive than black or other race women. No clue where the stereotype came about. To be fair, there is an equivalent stereotype for black women. The whole Jezebel thing.

    I agree. And to be perfectly honest, I've never heard that stereotype about white women.

    Well, I don't think that I made it up. Here are some other perspectives:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.byroncrawford.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fwhite_women_are.html" class="Popup

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fanswers.yahoo.com%2Fquestion%2Findex%3Fqid%3D1006042437910" class="Popup
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    It's actually an interesting topic. I've heard the stereotype. I don't know any actual stats as to whether this is true or not.

    I'll take a shot as to origins (which in many cases are themselves stereotypes/ generalizations)

    Of course there is no single black community and no single white community. But it seems that religion, and pretty hardcore, inflexible religion, plays a bigger role in some black (and latino and other ehtnic) communities than in the greater american white community. Or, at least, that is the perception.

    Family, esp. extended family also seems to play a greater role. When you are still living with your mom and aunt or down the street from your cousin who is reporting to your mom, you are less likely to do things that will cause talk than if you are living on your own in a city 500 miles away from the closest family member.

    It probably also has to do with the Sexual Revolution and Second Wave feminism, which were very much white, middle-class phenomena. While white women were studying their vaginas in mirrors in order to raise their consciousness, black women were busy fighting for their basic civil rights and their livelihoods.

    There also seem to be some cultural taboos in place in the black community regarding certain sexual acts. I don't know too much about them so I will not comment.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    DarkAngel wrote:
    Is this a serious topic? I'll pretend like it is for now.

    I have never known white women to be more sexually permissive than black or other race women. No clue where the stereotype came about. To be fair, there is an equivalent stereotype for black women. The whole Jezebel thing.

    I agree. And to be perfectly honest, I've never heard that stereotype about white women.

    And I agree as well. I haven't ever heard this stereotype, and I think that there is an equivalent stereotype in other communities as well. Even non-race related ones - the stereotype that quiet Catholic girls are the "ones you have to worry about" and so on.
    :rambo:
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    Amneris wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.

    I don't think I do anything that would be considered "freaky". :lol: And I certainly didn't do anything "freaky" before marriage. Actually the race and rate of teen pregnancies where I live are in direct contrast to the stereotype you referred to.

    Teen pregnancies don't = promiscuity, they just = less use of/awareness of birth control or abortion.

    Yeah I totally agree with this. Teen pregnancy rates are affected by a lot of factors like access to family planning and sexual education, socioeconomic factors, education levels etc. It's not fair to assume that just because a teen gets pregnant that she was promiscuous
    3027585431_55b6195e50_s.jpg3028374752_0df4d81a1b_s.jpg3028422696_8dcef38baa_s.jpg
    TickerTicker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=29&CT=&CG=F&O=m_nestbirds&T=t_b14&D=20080913&M1=&D1=2009&T2=&T1=Baby+Iris&CC=0&CO=&step=5&radio=A
  • j'adorej'adore Posts: 1,966Registered Users
    solange wrote:
    I've had this discussion with an African American guy friend that exclusively dates white women and asian women. He buys into this stereotype and also thinks that white/asian women are more cheerful and docile.

    I don't agree. I think that he has chosen white women that are this way, but he could have found women like this among any other ethnic group. He just happens to prefer the white/asian ones.

    Yes, I have heard this as well. Many times as a matter of fact.
    Are white women more willing to please their men, no matter what it takes, than minority women? Discuss amongst yourselves.

    I mean, I have no idea whether it's true or not. I am a black woman. :wink:
    "Don't play me...I'm over 30, and I don't smoke weed"
    -Prince

    catcatadr20050914_-8_Marley+is.png
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    Amneris wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    What do you mean by "sexually permissive"? More promiscuous? More adventurous?

    Yes, both. More "freaky" to use that expression. More willing to do it more and try it all, especially in the courtship phase, before marriage.

    I don't think I do anything that would be considered "freaky". :lol: And I certainly didn't do anything "freaky" before marriage. Actually the race and rate of teen pregnancies where I live are in direct contrast to the stereotype you referred to.

    Teen pregnancies don't = promiscuity, they just = less use of/awareness of birth control or abortion.

    Yeah I totally agree with this. Teen pregnancy rates are affected by a lot of factors like access to family planning and sexual education, socioeconomic factors, education levels etc. It's not fair to assume that just because a teen gets pregnant that she was promiscuous
    3027585431_55b6195e50_s.jpg3028374752_0df4d81a1b_s.jpg3028422696_8dcef38baa_s.jpg
    TickerTicker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=29&CT=&CG=F&O=m_nestbirds&T=t_b14&D=20080913&M1=&D1=2009&T2=&T1=Baby+Iris&CC=0&CO=&step=5&radio=A
  • JaxieJaxie Posts: 1,282Registered Users
    I always heard that white women mostly WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) women are less likely to try different things. But I try never to buy into stereotypes, everyone is there own person and makes up their own way to live and its not fair to any race, creed, or any group to say something is true of all of them. ~~jax
    2c or 3a Cut most of my hair off in July '12 and am working on regrowing it.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    There's also the stereotype of the rich white girls who like to get promiscuous with black men to piss off daddy.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    DarkAngel wrote:
    Is this a serious topic? I'll pretend like it is for now.

    I have never known white women to be more sexually permissive than black or other race women. No clue where the stereotype came about. To be fair, there is an equivalent stereotype for black women. The whole Jezebel thing.

    I agree. And to be perfectly honest, I've never heard that stereotype about white women.

    Well, I don't think that I made it up. Here are some other perspectives:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.byroncrawford.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fwhite_women_are.html" class="Popup

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fanswers.yahoo.com%2Fquestion%2Findex%3Fqid%3D1006042437910" class="Popup

    I wasn't accusing you of making it up. I just said that I've never heard it.

    And yes, I understand that there are many factors that contribute to teen pregnancy...not just birth control issues or promiscuity, but a combination of factors. I apologize if I inadvertantly implied otherwise.
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • CGECGE Posts: 1,911Registered Users
    I've heard it, I lived it. But honestly, I think me living it had more to do with my own self-image issues than with me being white, but maybe they go hand in hand. I don't know, since I didn't do my majority of growing up around anyone but white girls.

    I always heard that was the reason that the black guys at my college were going after the white women, they would give it up and the black girls would make them wait.
    I used to have a signature but it disappeared and I just couldn't be bothered writing another so please feel free to ingore this.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    geeky wrote:
    It's actually an interesting topic. I've heard the stereotype. I don't know any actual stats as to whether this is true or not.

    I'll take a shot as to origins (which in many cases are themselves stereotypes/ generalizations)

    Of course there is no single black community and no single white community. But it seems that religion, and pretty hardcore, inflexible religion, plays a bigger role in some black (and latino and other ehtnic) communities than in the greater american white community. Or, at least, that is the perception.

    Family, esp. extended family also seems to play a greater role. When you are still living with your mom and aunt or down the street from your cousin who is reporting to your mom, you are less likely to do things that will cause talk than if you are living on your own in a city 500 miles away from the closest family member.

    It probably also has to do with the Sexual Revolution and Second Wave feminism, which were very much white, middle-class phenomena. While white women were studying their vaginas in mirrors in order to raise their consciousness, black women were busy fighting for their basic civil rights and their livelihoods.

    There also seem to be some cultural taboos in place in the black community regarding certain sexual acts. I don't know too much about them so I will not comment.

    Excellent points.
    :rambo:
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    geeky wrote:
    There's also the stereotype of the rich white girls who like to get promiscuous with black men to piss off daddy.

    I went to school with some rich white girls who did do that. Not saying that it's an across the board trait of all rich white girls, of course.

    Just based on my high school experience, the Black girls and other girls of colour were, on average, on MUCH shorter parental leashes than most of the white girls, who were having more sex because they had more opportunities. They were allowed to date, allowed to have guys in their room with the door closed, allowed to have them over when their parents weren't home, allowed to date older guys, allowed to go to teen dance clubs, allowed to stay out later..... we weren't allowed, so even if we WANTED to have sex, we couldn't! Plus whenever I went out I either had to have a sister or cousin chaperone or I knew there was the risk of running into someone who knew Mama. There was a lot more community control, as geeky said, as well as religious values.

    In my family, premarital sex and cohabitation are strongly discouraged, whereas many white families I know accept this as normal and don't care if their kids live together before marriage. That would have KILLED my parents. To me, that is cultural and religious, not racial.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    2happy wrote:

    :lol: Especially that yahoo answers one!
  • CGECGE Posts: 1,911Registered Users
    OH, but as far as the freakiness part, that is SO not me. I'm about as plain as they come when it comes to sex.
    I used to have a signature but it disappeared and I just couldn't be bothered writing another so please feel free to ingore this.
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