Adult: Libido after baby?

deedlesdeedles Registered Users Posts: 2,467 Curl Connoisseur
So I am 6 months post baby and have no interest at all in sex... I mean none! I love my hubby to death and honestly its not like I am "that tired" I just don't feel like "doing it".. I feel bad for hubby cause he thinks its him.

Someone told me once that BF'ing sometimes screws with your Libido!

Tell me I'm not the only one? Any suggestions?
I have my yearly physical in a few weeks I'm thinking of bringing it up to my OB/Gyn

D
Liam: 6 years old
Colin: 3 years old
Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
Member Since: August 2000

Comments

  • OperaDivaOperaDiva Registered Users Posts: 354
    I'm at 10 months, still wondering when it will return. Gosh I miss it! It's a little better, but not a lot.
    Jessica, proud mama to Hunter (9-18-09)
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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Registered Users Posts: 2,671 Curl Neophyte
    You are not alone. I would much rather sleep or read. I'm hoping weaning will help me feel more normal.
    image.php?type=2&o=5&c=1&date=2009-10-07&babyname=Sebastian

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    It's definitely not just you. Mine has come and go in spurts ever since I was pregnant with Sol. For me, being tired has a lot to do with it, as well as wanting time to relax/decompress when the kids are asleep. I don't know if, for me, it has to do with breastfeeding because I never weaned in between and have had spurts of wanting it more, while I was breastfeeding.

    This is SO much easier said than done, but what helps me when I don't want it as much is to really try to see it from my husband's perspective. If it were up to him he'd get some every day so I really try to compromise. It's so cliche, but sometimes if you just make yourself do it then you end up enjoying it, and having some seems to make you want it more. I won't do it if I really don't want to - but if he asks and I'm kind of indifferent, I try to go with it and do end up enjoying it. And, if the mood ever strikes you, try to initiate yourself. It will do very good things for your husband's ego.

    The other thing that helps is to try to look at my husband the way I did when we were first dating (6 years ago!). That helps remind me of what I was so attracted to in the first place.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    With my first, I had no libido. I think bf did have something to do with with it, because it came back when I weaned. Of course, being sleep-deprived, generally tired and touched out from carrying a baby all day helped too. It was not as bad with my daughter, even though I bf her even longer. With her it came and went.
    Pixie had some good advice. For me, I know the issues are also feeling frumpy and finding it hard to switch gears between caretaker mode and sexy mode. So it helps to pamper myself a little whenever I can, long shower, getting my nails done, nice undies. It also takes me a little bit longer to get in the mood, so it's good when we can work with that.
    Sometimes you just have to give your husband a quickie bj or hj. He will enjoy and you can enjoy being on control.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
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  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    geeky wrote: »
    For me, I know the issues are also feeling frumpy and finding it hard to switch gears between caretaker mode and sexy mode. So it helps to pamper myself a little whenever I can, long shower, getting my nails done, nice undies.

    So true! I never feel sexy when I'm in sweats and glasses and no makeup and ponytail, which is often how you'll find me if we haven't been anywhere that day.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,954 Curl Connoisseur
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    geeky wrote: »
    For me, I know the issues are also feeling frumpy and finding it hard to switch gears between caretaker mode and sexy mode. So it helps to pamper myself a little whenever I can, long shower, getting my nails done, nice undies.

    So true! I never feel sexy when I'm in sweats and glasses and no makeup and ponytail, which is often how you'll find me if we haven't been anywhere that day.

    Same here. I think not having a good self image...really hinders me feeling sexy even though I'm sure hubby doesn't care...he will be happy anytime.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    It always took me a good 9-12 months to get my libido all the way back after having a baby. I do agree it's good to push ourselves. For women, I think the more sex we have, the more we want, so I always tended to have sex even if I was on the fence about wanting to or not...and I was usually pleasantly surprised to find I enjoyed it.
  • MagooMagoo Registered Users Posts: 2,173 Curl Neophyte
    With my first I had no libido for the entire 7 months I was BFing. I was also extremely sleep deprived and exhausted all the time.
    Now I'm only 7 wks pp and sex is the last thing I'm in the mood for right now. First of all, I'm still experiencing on and off pp bleeding (don't even get me started on how annoyed I am about that) plus I'm BFing again and of course, not getting much sleep so sex drive is once again down the toilet.

    I agree with what Pixicurl said. Sometimes even if you think you're not in the mood but do it anyway, you end up enjoying it. Also, I definitely feel more up for it if I've done something nice for myself like going to the spa or salon for a mani/pedi. It helps to remind me that I'm not just a mom but also a woman and wife.
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
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  • AmnerisAmneris Registered Users Posts: 15,117
    For me, it was DEFINITELY due to breastfeeding. J weaned himself just over a month ago and my libido came back in full force almost right away! I'd almost forgotten that feeling!

    I definitely "forced" myself to get in the mood sometimes - I think that part of a healthy marriage is your sex life and it's not fair to deny the other person for an extended period of time. Sometimes you get into it once you make yourself start. And I totally agree that doing things that make you feel attractive help a lot - exercising, doing your hair etc.
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