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Justifiable Homicide

DerbyCityNaturalsDerbyCityNaturals Posts: 422Registered Users
***Warning this is a rant that I just had to get off my chest***

One of my childhood best friends K has been divorced for four years. She has recently decided to go natural because her 6 year old daughter B (pictured below) was wondering why mommy didn't like her hair (K relaxes her hair and wears weaves).

Anywho, this summer B and her long thick beautiful virgin 4A hair, went to visit her father for summer vacation as she has done for the last 3 years. However this time when B returned back home K discovered that B's father had relaxed B's hair!

K called her ex and he told her that it was just a flat iron. She knew it was a lie but went home and washed her hair to be sure. Liar! Her hair was stick straight with not even a subtle wave. K's ex went to cosmetology school and knows how to do hair, he used to do K's hair when they were married. He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it.

What an @$$hole! I told him that if she killed him I would provide the alibi. :boxing:
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  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users
    oooooo emmmm geeee! i'd be pissed:boxing:
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

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  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    ***Warning this is a rant that I just had to get off my chest***

    One of my childhood best friends K has been divorced for four years. She has recently decided to go natural because her 6 year old daughter B (pictured below) was wondering why mommy didn't like her hair (K relaxes her hair and wears weaves).

    Anywho, this summer B and her long thick beautiful virgin 4A hair, went to visit her father for summer vacation as she has done for the last 3 years. However this time when B returned back home K discovered that B's father had relaxed B's hair!

    K called her ex and he told her that it was just a flat iron. She knew it was a lie but went home and washed her hair to be sure. Liar! Her hair was stick straight with not even a subtle wave. K's ex went to cosmetology school and knows how to do hair, he used to do K's hair when they were married. He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it.

    What an @$$hole! I told him that if she killed him I would provide the alibi. :boxing:
    angry9:OOh HELL TO THE MUTHA F****N NO! I was scared to open this thread but I the title is PERFECT. Justifiable homicide indeed. I wish somebody would have the unmitigated gaul, the AUDASITY, to relax my child's hair without my damn permission! OOOOOOO:angry7:
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  • Bookworm08Bookworm08 Posts: 42Registered Users
    That is terrible... that little girl is to young for her father to put a relaxer in her hair. Shame on him:angry7:
  • nana_banananana_banana Posts: 735Registered Users
    :cwm21: I'm shocked!! I can't believe he would do that without letting the mother know!
    Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



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  • DerbyCityNaturalsDerbyCityNaturals Posts: 422Registered Users
    CocoT wrote: »
    I wish somebody would have the unmitigated gaul, the AUDASITY, to relax my child's hair without my damn permission! OOOOOOO:angry7:

    And then lie about and say it was a flat iron! He knew he was wrong for doing it so he tried to cover it up with a lie.
  • NaturalfinallyNaturalfinally Posts: 516Registered Users
    That was just wrong! :goofy: If he's a hair dresser then he knows that ponytails, braids, twists, cornrows are all options that would have held up for weeks without a lot of hassel. He was being a butt. I don't know what the mother can do now other then grow it out. :sad11: There aught to be a law against this but breaking out the vaseline would do in this instance.
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  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH. See no, we would have been fighting.

    I too was afraid to open the thread, but REALLY. That's gonna take FOREVER to grow out! Ugh.
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  • DerbyCityNaturalsDerbyCityNaturals Posts: 422Registered Users
    @ellepixie that is what I said.

    K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

    I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    @ellepixie that is what I said.

    K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

    I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...

    Yea...I don't like getting in the middle of relationship beef, but I would have called him myself and ripped him a new one.
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  • FoxyCleopatraFoxyCleopatra Posts: 412Registered Users
    @ellepixie that is what I said.

    K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

    I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...

    See, he just did that to get back @ her mother b/c he was trying to be funny. That was a punk @$$ move on his part. I cannot stand it when ppl use children like pawns in their little relationship issues. That is all he did in this case.
  • DerbyCityNaturalsDerbyCityNaturals Posts: 422Registered Users
    I am over my anger now and trying to be positive. I have told her to deep condition the hair regularly keep it moisturized and avoid the heat. I didn't have the heart yet to tell her about possible breakage...
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    I am over my anger now and trying to be positive. I have told her to deep condition the hair regularly keep it moisturized and avoid the heat. I didn't have the heart yet to tell her about possible breakage...

    Honestly since it's her first relaxer she will most likely be okay as long as he didn't over process. Is she going to transition her now, or will she keep relaxing/straighting it?
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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  • DerbyCityNaturalsDerbyCityNaturals Posts: 422Registered Users
    K said that she was just going to grow it out.

    This is how I transitioned myself the last two times so I am familiar with this method. However after about six months or so my hair began to break at the line of demarcation. It wasn't a big deal to me because I getting it trimmed regularly so no one could really tell but I think if my hair were longer like B's it would be noticeable.

    Any tips you ladies can provide on making a healthy low stress transition will be appreciated.
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    K said that she was just going to grow it out.

    This is how I transitioned myself the last two times so I am familiar with this method. However after about six months or so my hair began to break at the line of demarcation. It wasn't a big deal to me because I getting it trimmed regularly so no one could really tell but I think if my hair were longer like B's it would be noticeable.

    Any tips you ladies can provide on making a healthy low stress transition will be appreciated.

    Since her hair is so long she may be able to do pretty transitioning styles like twists, braids, etc.

    That dude is a jerk for REAL though...straightening that poor child's hair just to make the mother mad. Just think if she had to BC and kids made fun of her for having short hair...I just can't. I'm so mad!
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  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    :boxing::cwm21::banghead::evil5::protest:angry9::angry8::evil::tongue6::angry7::argue::angryfire::angry4::disgust:

    Sums up how I feel ^^^

    She is such a doll, I cant believe he had the audacity to do that! I never had a relaxer, so I wish I had advice on how to care for her hair. I would ask the transition forum here.
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  • SummerRubySummerRuby Posts: 468Registered Users
    I know where to hide the body...:twisted:

  • lisa6lisa6 Posts: 543Registered Users
    He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it. :boxing:

    This is exactly why my daughter's hair will be in a protective style, preferably conrows, if she's out of my sight for more than a day! I don't want relatives or other parents getting bright ideas :idea1:...including straightening with hot combs, blow-dyers, and flat-irons. Permies just don't understand *in Will Smith voice*

    ETA: As a permie, I handled my hair with care, but not everyone does.
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  • newbraidernewbraider Posts: 207Registered Users
    It's fine if she transitions back but what happens next year when B goes back for the summer?

    I don't know if it's possible, but can she take him to court to make sure he won't relax B's hair again and if he does, there'll be consequences? I know that might seem over the top but what else can the mother do? I think there's a good change if she doesn't do something he will do it again next year.
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  • .patience..patience. Posts: 537Registered Users
    WoooooooW!!!

    The nerve of him.
    I wonder what he brainwashed his daughter's head with when he told her he was straightening her hair??
    "Your hair will be beautiful, straight and long like a little princess!" :sad3:

    Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.

    Either way, she is adorable. But, he had NO RIGHT to do what he did.

    Only thing I could suggest for transitioning is braid and twist styles.

    ...can't believe it.
  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    As a PP said, if the father didn't want to deal with his daughter's hair that badly, he could have done buns, twists or braids that didn't require a lot of maintenance. Even braid extensions would have been preferable to him slapping a relaxer. This was done out of spite and shows a lack of respect.

    Mom can do the above styles while the relaxer grows out, making sure to keep the hair moisturized. Not much else I can suggest.
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  • NayaNaya Posts: 922Registered Users
    OMG that is awful! The bad thing is.. what can you do? Yeah you're pissed but now what? Sucks. :angry2:

    I worry about this (granted I don't have children now) but when I do and people want to keep them for a bit.. this is my exact concern.. that they'll try to do something unacceptable to their hair. People were always telling me it was an irrational concern. But.. then I read this and... I just don't even know.

    All that hair is going to take FOREVER to grow out.

    I'm sorry it happened. :mad:
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  • nana_banananana_banana Posts: 735Registered Users
    .patience. wrote: »
    WoooooooW!!!

    The nerve of him.
    I wonder what he brainwashed his daughter's head with when he told her he was straightening her hair??
    "Your hair will be beautiful, straight and long like a little princess!" :sad3:

    Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.

    Either way, she is adorable. But, he had NO RIGHT to do what he did.

    Only thing I could suggest for transitioning is braid and twist styles.

    ...can't believe it.

    :( My thoughts exactly.
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  • CurlyCurliesCurlyCurlies Posts: 1,641Registered Users
    Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.

    The way to handle that is to keep a set of braids or twists in her hair at all times and stick to a trimming schedule as she grows out her hair. This way what the other kids will be marveling about is the length of her hair, not the fact that it's straight.

    My cousin can't stand doing her kids' hair, so she has a standing appointment with a local teenager to braid her daughters' hair every 2 or 3 weeks or so. The mom is freed from the stress of doing hair everyday, the kid's have 'get up & go' hair for a little while, & the teenager has some extra money for her trouble. Everybody wins.

    If nothing else, I'd make sure that the next time (if there's a next time :laughing5:) the daughter spends time with her father, she has a protective style in her head, the smaller the braids are & more intricate the patterns, the better.
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  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Posts: 4,144Registered Users
    See, this right there would've been validation for me to go down there and kick some a**. And with him being a "professional", I wonder how many other women he's convinced to relax their hair because it's "too much to take care of".

    That's a load of b.s.

    She's such a cutie, and like someone said, I also wonder how she'll process the comments/compliments she may receive now. Most of us here have gotten them, but children sometimes internalize them a bit differently.

    I would keep her hair hydrated, do weekly treatments and just trim monthly until it's grown out. Keeping her hair in protective styles will help in that regard, although I'm sure someone already mentioned this.

    I wish someone would do that to my hypothetical child!
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  • chicbutterflylovachicbutterflylova Posts: 15Registered Users
    OMGGGG like u said its justifiable homicide...I mean this has to be in the law books somewhere....I would for sure have to murrrdaaaa a mofo over something like this urghhhh:cussing:
  • Booker Ts MamaBooker Ts Mama Posts: 670Registered Users
    There would be "smoke in the city" on that day!!
  • cheveuxboucléscheveuxbouclés Posts: 1,111Registered Users
    I seriously would beat his a**, no... seriously.

    I am more concerned about the little girl's perception of beauty now. I am thinking she a.) will now associate her natural hair as being so difficult that daddy had to throw a relaxer in there and b.) how "pretty" she is now with her long flowing hair ( because you know some ig'nant folks are probably going on and on about how cute she is now). It will probably take a lot of talking to her about what happens when she has to transition out of the relaxer.:sad1:
  • newbraidernewbraider Posts: 207Registered Users

    If nothing else, I'd make sure that the next time (if there's a next time :laughing5:) the daughter spends time with her father, she has a protective style in her head, the smaller the braids are & more intricate the patterns, the better.

    I was wondering what the mother was going to do about next summer. Braids would seem like the answer.
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  • Nappy_curly_crownNappy_curly_crown Posts: 4,162Registered Users
    @ellepixie that is what I said.

    K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

    I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...

    Girl...I wish a mofo would perm a child of mine's hair during a visit....I'd be calling CPS myself and getting a lawyer to revoke visitation and arrange for supervised visits only since obviously you can't be trusted not to put caustic chemicals in your child's head!
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    So I guess ish like this is why she divorced brotha man...?

    Oh, oh and...he went to cosmetology school and still didn't know what to do with a child's hair?
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