Good hair, more an emotional/psychological thing than physical

NaturallyJosie*NaturallyJosie* Posts: 7Registered Users
Hi i'm new to the forum but i've been lurking around for the past 6 months or so, so i'm not sure if this topic has been posted yet.

I bet you all know about the ''good hair'' phenomenon in our black/ethinc community.
Most newly transitioners long for that curl hair in the 3's.. we've all had our battles..
But what i found out is that the desire for ''good hair'' isnt only in the black community but its also strong in the white community.
We tend to overlook it b/c most of them get their hair straightend.
It's really sad becaus here i was sitting feeling bad for my self and wishing my hair was more manageable and soft. while my bestfriend (who is white) has beautiful 3b/3c curls but wishes she had bone straight hair.
Both of us were trying to get something we couldnt.
then i realized that we need to start loving our selves and with that self love we might have more patience with our hair.
That was part of the reason we both decided to go natural and stop relaxing our hairs (yes my friend also relaxed her hair)

I always thought that we were the only ones that struggled with beauty issues, but the reality is that others struggle with it too. We were/are all trying to achieve the ultimate beauty that doesnt even exist!
Everyday as i go to school or hang with friends, i can see the damage we are doing to ourselves just to please others and its sad.

I'm sorry, i just felt the need to share this with you guys!;)


  • Fantastic1221Fantastic1221 Posts: 356Registered Users
    I totally understand. I used to be like that, trying to alter myself to what I thought was "ideal." Ive gotten over that and just do whats healthiest for me. One thing that I did see, while I was transitioning, at school last year was a girl with gorgeous golden-brown hair. From the root till abotu 3-4 in was 3c curly and the rest was bone straight.

    That made me take a double. It was really sad. She had beautiful hair yet damaged it because she wanted it straight. What I was really happy about was that it looked like she was trying to grow it out.
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    Interesting that you posted this - and yep, the ideal is prominent in other communities too. On the other sections of the board I have seen many curlies who are reluctant to accept their curly hair. It sucks but I think this site really helps people! :)
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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  • JahNaturalDezignJahNaturalDezign Posts: 1,160Registered Users
    One day I skimmed through the Hall of Shame board and was completely shocked to find out We weren't the only community that has issues with curly hair. Really, what's soooo bad about curly hair????
  • OmegaOmega Posts: 88Registered Users
    I grew up with my naturally curly haired mom saying how she wished her hair was strong n thick. More like me and my sister's (we took after our dad's hair type). So, I grew up not wanting curly hair but 'strong n thick' hair. Now that I'm newly natural it looks like that's what I have :toothy8:
    Born and raised in Washington DC now living in England.

    4a w/3c at nape
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  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    One day I skimmed through the Hall of Shame board and was completely shocked to find out We weren't the only community that has issues with curly hair. Really, what's soooo bad about curly hair????
    I always think about those movies or shows where a character gets a makeover... why is the main "Problem" with her hair is that it's curly? and why is the first solution to "fixing" her hair straightening it? That irritates the sh*t outta me.

    The other thing that the other non-black girls pointed out on NC is how celebs who may have started off with curly hair, straighten their hair as they get more popular, eg. that chick that Played Elaine on friends, that Chick with the redish blond hair on The office.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
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  • nana_banananana_banana Posts: 735Registered Users
    Straight hair is a very big thing in the Arab community too. You might think Arabs all have straight and wavy hair, but so many Arab women get their hair done. Blow outs and relaxers are very common. I only know a few Arab women who have naturally straight hair.

    Once an Arab woman told me I looked "too African" with my hair natural and I should straighten it again. And every time I got to an Arab hair salon, they all want to convince me to straighten it again. "We have this new relaxer treatment from Lebanon! It won't damage your hair...." Yeah right!
    Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!

  • greenandchicgreenandchic Posts: 2,584Registered Users
    I've known this Brazilian woman for years and up until relatively recently, I had no idea that her hair was as curly as mine. She never allowed herself to be caught dead in public with her curly hair. I always thought it was straight We went to the gym, swam, and when she got out of the shower I was shocked to see a beautiful halo of curls.

    Of course she spent the next two hours with the blow dryer and flat iron before we saw the light of day. :shock:
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