CurlTalk

Why are people still under some natural hair illusion?!

cheveuxboucléscheveuxbouclés Posts: 1,111Registered Users
I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
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Comments

  • Booker Ts MamaBooker Ts Mama Posts: 670Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]

    I agree with these. That's why now I've gotten to the point where I don't try and offer "hang in there" advice. Because if you feel that your hair is so hard, taking up too much of your time, and you want to relax/texlax, then go ahead and do it. Only you have to live with that decision; no one on here can make it for you.

    I can only stick with MY choice to go natural and why I am never going to relax my hair again.
  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]

    I agree with these. That's why now I've gotten to the point where I don't try and offer "hang in there" advice. Because if you feel that your hair is so hard, taking up too much of your time, and you want to relax/texlax, then go ahead and do it. Only you have to live with that decision; no one on here can make it for you.

    I can only stick with MY choice to go natural and why I am never going to relax my hair again.
    amen and amen!!!
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users
    Well whether it was a rant or not.. it was a very good one. That made A LOT of good common sense!

    I guess I just try to be supportive though because I know not everyone can hang in there or even want to once their hair gets a certain length. And people have different preference that changes with the wind at times. So I just try to educate those I can.

    Having said that, Certain folks that go ballistic cause their hair is not silky smooth curls like they wished and feel like they gotta run back to the creamy crack SOLELY based that... get on my darn nerves.
    tumblr_m9jonzYZmu1re7hjjo1_250.jpg
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    I'm not natural but I agree with everything you said. With some of these posts about giving up, it's the same people who have been given a ton of good advice.

    I feel like it's some kind of attention/manipulation ploy so they can be told how beautiful their hair is and to step back from the ledge.
    4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

    HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

    SL APL BSL MBL
  • cheveuxboucléscheveuxbouclés Posts: 1,111Registered Users
    Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.

    I don't disagree with a thing you said. In my opinion you are saying something very valid and I agree with it totally. So you'll catch no flack from me concerning your opinion.
    tumblr_m9jonzYZmu1re7hjjo1_250.jpg
  • FoxyCleopatraFoxyCleopatra Posts: 412Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]

    Very good points!

    In all honesty, being natural has made my life easier regarding my hair. Heck, I could never stick my head under a shower head for a few secs, shake & go, or put just a little product in my hair & be able to have a fro in a few secs, or even get twists to stay in my hair! I know I'm saying all this from a TWA perspective, and I'm aware that once my hair grows out, it will require some more effort on my part. That being said, I've had short relaxed hair & it was not easy for me to preserve a style.

    I've just always felt like being relaxed was a hassle for me & I needed a better way. Unless I just wanted to walk around the same straight, wrapped hair style, I had to grab curling irons or rollers to try to achieve a different look... and it never lasted more than a couple days for me.

    I dunno what people's expectations are of natural hair. I guess there is a certain look they had hoped to achieve, but we all have different hair. Having a certain curl pattern, or none at all, won't make your life easier or make you a better person. Even if they had the curl pattern or look they desired, at the end of the day they'd still be unhappy because the problem isn't with the hair, it's within.
  • cheveuxboucléscheveuxbouclés Posts: 1,111Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.

    I don't disagree with a thing you said. In my opinion you are saying something very valid and I agree with it totally. So you'll catch no flack from me concerning your opinion.


    Oh no, wasn't saying you were. I admire your ability to try to help no matter how many times the same version of a question comes up! Was just addressing in general about how I am over the natural-vs-relaxer choice.
  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »

    Oh no, wasn't saying you were. I admire your ability to try to help no matter how many times the same version of a question comes up! Was just addressing in general about how I am over the natural-vs-relaxer choice.

    ROFL! I do that.. don't I. I should probably stop doing it so much! Cause I mean everyone has the ability to do a search on here.

    But I guess I sort of think a lot of people are lazy and if I don't detail it all out for them even it's a repeat..they won't look it up and will go on in ignorance. Perhaps I underestimate people to much.

    But eh..now that you've brought this up..now that I think about it..their lack of looking stuff up isn't my issue and I shouldn't just be so quick to repeat info that they should try to learn on their own if they really care about their hair.

    You've given me something to think about that's for sure..appreciate it!
    tumblr_m9jonzYZmu1re7hjjo1_250.jpg
  • blessedhimeblessedhime Posts: 1,458Registered Users
    I agree with the OP on this matter. It's quite sad that posts such as those regarding persons wanting to go back to relaxing, are popping up. As many of you have said, growing natural hair long takes time and patience. Not every day, it would be a bed of roses. Detangling may take a while but it is up to the individual to educate herself on detangling techniques, conditioners and other products that would help her through the process of taking care of her hair.

    Also, the individual has to look within as FoxyCleopatra pointed out. One's mentality conditions one's hair journey. If one wants to relax, go ahead but do not expect a 'pep' talk or some sympathy because there are many others who struggle with their hair on a constant basis, but choose to endure. :)
    Blessed Princess Diamante, High Archivist of the Thrifty Trinitarians in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Last Relaxer: July 31st, 2008
    BC: 14th August, 2009
    Favourite Product Line: None at the moment
    HGs: Amla, brahmi, maka, neem, hibiscus and fenugreek powders.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users
    yes, marah and a lot of other curlies are so patient with people... answering the same questions over and over. since i've been a member here, i notice some people (from reading the really old posts) get help and don't bother to stay and pay it forward. you might not 'see' them again until they need more help. it seems the same folks help many times over. i am very grateful for that :)

    *************

    i never understood how people come to a natural hair board to say they dislike their natural hair. :sad1:

    i'm on the DO YOU boat. my only gripe is them making people on the fence or transitioning see going natural as an unrealistic task. :(
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    ... but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
    i know it wasn't supposed to be funny but this has me :sign5:
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    It's sad that Natural hair is considered a hard decision but using dangerous chemicals to straighten isn't.

    It's sad that we have to go through so much just to learn and understand our hair at all. It's crazy how much we don't know about our hair because we've spent most of our lives destroying it.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

    www.lifestarbeauty.com
    Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


  • blessedhimeblessedhime Posts: 1,458Registered Users
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    It's sad that Natural hair is considered a hard decision but using dangerous chemicals to straighten isn't.

    It's sad that we have to go through so much just to learn and understand our hair at all. It's crazy how much we don't know about our hair because we've spent most of our lives destroying it.

    Agreed.
    Blessed Princess Diamante, High Archivist of the Thrifty Trinitarians in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Last Relaxer: July 31st, 2008
    BC: 14th August, 2009
    Favourite Product Line: None at the moment
    HGs: Amla, brahmi, maka, neem, hibiscus and fenugreek powders.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    I like this thread - it wasn't a rant, it was the truth. Sometimes I get really upset about my hair but NOT because it's natural - I get upset that I ever had a relaxer in the first place! I honestly think that relaxers do residual damage to your follicle that takes awhile to grow out/heal. Call me crazy, but that's what I think! I'd never touch one again.

    PS slight guano - Drama on the general hair board!! http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=109458 (Involving Marah, obvi, heehee)
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
    YouTube
    Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • ktip_naturalchicaktip_naturalchica Posts: 72Registered Users
    Y'all are funny! I know I lurk more than I post, but I completely understand and appreciate the people who are here to help. Y'all have been here from the beginning and continue to help people out (i.e. Marah, MUCC, subrock, etc.). I try to pay it forward (even if I am still learning), but sometimes it is hard! I mean, I don't think I came in here saying my hair was a nappy, dry mess, please help me at the beginning, lol. Like someone above said, it's not going to be roses EVERYDAY, but deal with it. It will be like that even with a relaxer.

    Anyway, I agree with the OP. Please look within if you need help, try going to the search bar for help, or even contact Marah (j/k). But don't make things so difficult on yourself! Godspeed.
  • msjaimmsjaim Posts: 948Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
    lol.. i luv you!... my thinking these days is if you want to put a hot turd on top of your head, be my guest. do what you want to do.. no one on here can convince anyone of anything especially if they have already made up their mind
  • Booker Ts MamaBooker Ts Mama Posts: 670Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]

    Very good points!

    In all honesty, being natural has made my life easier regarding my hair. Heck, I could never stick my head under a shower head for a few secs, shake & go, or put just a little product in my hair & be able to have a fro in a few secs, or even get twists to stay in my hair! I know I'm saying all this from a TWA perspective, and I'm aware that once my hair grows out, it will require some more effort on my part. That being said, I've had short relaxed hair & it was not easy for me to preserve a style.

    I've just always felt like being relaxed was a hassle for me & I needed a better way. Unless I just wanted to walk around the same straight, wrapped hair style, I had to grab curling irons or rollers to try to achieve a different look... and it never lasted more than a couple days for me.

    I dunno what people's expectations are of natural hair. I guess there is a certain look they had hoped to achieve, but we all have different hair. Having a certain curl pattern, or none at all, won't make your life easier or make you a better person. Even if they had the curl pattern or look they desired, at the end of the day they'd still be unhappy because the problem isn't with the hair, it's within.

    This was totally me. I got so tired of having to go and get someone else to style my hair for me. Then, if I wanted it to last at least a week, I couldn't take hot showers, had to sleep with my chin between the pillows on the bed (don't ask), and had to wake up with a crook in my neck for the sake of keeping my hair looking like I'd just gotten it done. Not to mention the bald spot that was coming up in the crown of my head.

    But, if someone wants to go back to that, by all means go right ahead.
  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    ellepixie wrote: »
    I like this thread - it wasn't a rant, it was the truth. Sometimes I get really upset about my hair but NOT because it's natural - I get upset that I ever had a relaxer in the first place! I honestly think that relaxers do residual damage to your follicle that takes awhile to grow out/heal. Call me crazy, but that's what I think! I'd never touch one again.

    PS slight guano - Drama on the general hair board!! http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=109458 (Involving Marah, obvi, heehee)

    I love that thread lmao!

    People are stupid tho.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

    www.lifestarbeauty.com
    Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    ellepixie wrote: »
    I like this thread - it wasn't a rant, it was the truth. Sometimes I get really upset about my hair but NOT because it's natural - I get upset that I ever had a relaxer in the first place! I honestly think that relaxers do residual damage to your follicle that takes awhile to grow out/heal. Call me crazy, but that's what I think! I'd never touch one again.

    PS slight guano - Drama on the general hair board!! http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=109458 (Involving Marah, obvi, heehee)

    Amen.
    And I know for damn sure that I have saved (my momz mostly.lol) a lot of money by doing my hair myself and not getting fried and burned. Never again will I go back to relaxers. NEVER! And I will NEVER let my children get them either.
    11.gif
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
    -Albert Einstein
    Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users
    ellepixie i wubs ya but i couldn't read that thread. people going back and forth on what curl size should be talked about... is more important... blah blah blah :thumbdown:
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    hippychic wrote: »
    ellepixie i wubs ya but i couldn't read that thread. people going back and forth on what curl size should be talked about... is more important... blah blah blah :thumbdown:

    Dude's analysis about why curly (3) hair is "the exception" is HILARIOUS. I can't!! Heehee.
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
    YouTube
    Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • AmberBrownAmberBrown Posts: 1,072Registered Users
    I feel like it's some kind of attention/manipulation ploy so they can be told how beautiful their hair is and to step back from the ledge.

    I feel like you're right.
  • JahNaturalDezignJahNaturalDezign Posts: 1,160Registered Users
    curlylcp wrote: »
    I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]

    I agree with these. That's why now I've gotten to the point where I don't try and offer "hang in there" advice. Because if you feel that your hair is so hard, taking up too much of your time, and you want to relax/texlax, then go ahead and do it. Only you have to live with that decision; no one on here can make it for you.

    I can only stick with MY choice to go natural and why I am never going to relax my hair again.

    Yes! I agree with all of the above. I made one "hang in there" comment and immediatly got annoyed with myself.
  • JahNaturalDezignJahNaturalDezign Posts: 1,160Registered Users
    hippychic wrote: »
    curlylcp wrote: »
    ... but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
    i know it wasn't supposed to be funny but this has me :sign5:

    That same exact curlylcp quote made me think about a comment that annoyed the hell out of me on another thread and almost made me start a thread on this same subject...but I was thinking "Damn am I being way to sensitive about my nappy hair???"

    It was touched on in the "Curl Definition Rant" thread, but even in the natural hair community there's still for some a more desirable hair texture. Don't have hair inspirations of naturals who all have hair like taren from YT (I couldn't think of anyone famous) but get mad when you BC and your hair is all super coarse with the little beady-beads that separate.

    I didn't go natural imagining that I was going to have long flowing silky curls.
  • NubianCoilsNubianCoils Posts: 2,149Registered Users
    THANK YOU Curlylcp! I always admire people who come up in here and say stuff I REALLY want to say but am too scared I'll get blasted.:glasses1: I don't even say anything in them threads...
    Defeated the Relaxer: January 2001 :boxing:
    Dreadlocks Since: March 2001
    Cut Dreadlocks: February 2009:afro:

    Holy Grails:
    Amla and Bhringraj are the TRUTH, HE LTR Conditioner is the BIDNESS, Shea butter, Honey, Jamican Black Castor Oil

    Full head of 4a hair!:wav:
  • LouieLouie Posts: 144Registered Users
    [qoute]I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant][/QUOTE]


    I will ultimately feel like I'm one of those "complainers" who stresses about my hair that you're talking about. I do not know whether or not u are relaxed or natural; but I'm sure u went thru doubts in your life and turned towards someone for guidance.

    I posted the: Having Second Thoughts don't know if I will continue to go natural post.

    at 18 I looked for a place where I could find guidance from ladies who is going thru and been thru the transitioning phase I'm currently going thru. & I thank those who chimed in and shared positivity (some in this exact thread).

    you're raving and doing the exact same thing those ladies in doubt are doing; complaining, which is not going to change anything but a few agrees and nods towards your rant.
    Really,why not check out www.thisboardrocks.com
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users
    Louie wrote: »
    [qoute]I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]


    I will ultimately feel like I'm one of those "complainers" who stresses about my hair that you're talking about. I do not know whether or not u are relaxed or natural; but I'm sure u went thru doubts in your life and turned towards someone for guidance.

    I posted the: Having Second Thoughts don't know if I will continue to go natural post.

    at 18 I looked for a place where I could find guidance from ladies who is going thru and been thru the transitioning phase I'm currently going thru. & I thank those who chimed in and shared positivity (some in this exact thread).

    you're raving and doing the exact same thing those ladies in doubt are doing; complaining, which is not going to change anything but a few agrees and nods towards your rant.
    [/QUOTE]

    I'm not the OP, but I don't really think she is talking about posters like you. I can say that your original post was similar, but your responses made it seems that you really wanted suggestions on making your hair work, and I don't think anyone should crucify you for that. On the other hand, some people just get on here and complain and say they need relaxers b/c their hair is nappy, yet don't want suggestions - they just wanna mouth off about how they hate their hair.
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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  • LouieLouie Posts: 144Registered Users
    ellepixie wrote: »
    Louie wrote: »
    [qoute]I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]


    I will ultimately feel like I'm one of those "complainers" who stresses about my hair that you're talking about. I do not know whether or not u are relaxed or natural; but I'm sure u went thru doubts in your life and turned towards someone for guidance.

    I posted the: Having Second Thoughts don't know if I will continue to go natural post.

    at 18 I looked for a place where I could find guidance from ladies who is going thru and been thru the transitioning phase I'm currently going thru. & I thank those who chimed in and shared positivity (some in this exact thread).

    you're raving and doing the exact same thing those ladies in doubt are doing; complaining, which is not going to change anything but a few agrees and nods towards your rant.

    I'm not the OP, but I don't really think she is talking about posters like you. I can say that your original post was similar, but your responses made it seems that you really wanted suggestions on making your hair work, and I don't think anyone should crucify you for that. On the other hand, some people just get on here and complain and say they need relaxers b/c their hair is nappy, yet don't want suggestions - they just wanna mouth off about how they hate their hair.[/quote]

    i seen alot of complainers on the relaxer boards & even in the 4a/4b board. I mean i could understand about women like those who complain, complain, complain about their addiction to creamy crack and how they just can't see themselves going natural -- those are the type that would get me frustrated bc it's like why are you even here, if you are not open to suggestions???

    Yes, I took alot of what you and others suggested I do and i did and now i'm still transitioning. i was caught up in the fotki's and seeing everyone elses progression and wasn't seeing mine. I'm good now...for now. & for those who said transitioning wasn't easy, ya'll was NOT lying. That's why it's so easy to lose track and stumble a little, which is not a crime; it happens to the best of us.
    Really,why not check out www.thisboardrocks.com
  • cheveuxboucléscheveuxbouclés Posts: 1,111Registered Users
    Louie wrote: »
    [qoute]I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

    Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

    YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
    [End rant]


    I will ultimately feel like I'm one of those "complainers" who stresses about my hair that you're talking about. I do not know whether or not u are relaxed or natural; but I'm sure u went thru doubts in your life and turned towards someone for guidance.

    I posted the: Having Second Thoughts don't know if I will continue to go natural post.

    at 18 I looked for a place where I could find guidance from ladies who is going thru and been thru the transitioning phase I'm currently going thru. & I thank those who chimed in and shared positivity (some in this exact thread).

    you're raving and doing the exact same thing those ladies in doubt are doing; complaining, which is not going to change anything but a few agrees and nods towards your rant.
    [/quote]


    I may be referring to you, though I didn't post to address you directly. I didn't read your thread honestly, but I did see it along with some others that are similiar. As I said, if you are generally seeking advice...I don't see that as a problem. But most of those threads are like a poster mentioned-- a cry from help from the ledge. You shouldn't base a decision on your hair on what WE advise to you, it needs to be in you.

    I am natural, and I went natural before alllll these threads were out ( and that is not being said in a holier-than-thou tone). I didn't have a host of pictures to compare my hair to, a list of conditioners and natural businesses to buy from, or fotkis to search through. I did a short transition and cut my hair off without looking back. Why? Because I wanted to go natural and there was no hair day that was ever bad enough to make me change my mind. I love that there are blogs and threads that are here to help ( because I sure as hell was treating my hair dead wrong) but they should not be a crutch for you.

    It seems like you are saying you are 18, which compared to me, is a bit young. I can genuinely understand why you may question your choice. I didn't post this to throw some sort of coup and gain approval. After reading the sad story of the death of a young girl who was featured on BGLH, it made think of how she was only 15 at the time she went natural. Now she is gone. To spend all this time going back and forth on your hair is just absurd to me. Just my opinion.
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