My Grandma Burst My Bubble

clbussieclbussie Posts: 115Registered Users
I just graduated from grad school with my Master's in College Counseling. My career goal is to advise and counsel at-risk and minority students at the college level. I graduated at the end of May and have been looking for a job at universities across the country since January. To say the least the job search has been rough. I have had three interviews with three different schools so far and as far as I was concerned, I rocked those interviews. I was being told that because of the economic situation people with more advanced degrees and more experience were taking up the entry level jobs that I'm applying for.

However, I was on the phone with my grandmother (who doesn't like my natural hair) yesterday and was told that she thinks the reason I'm not getting offers is because of my hair. She says I am being naive when I say that my hair shouldn't matter. I told her that if there is a stigma against natural hair it is more so in corporate america and not at colleges where diversity is emphaisized.

As much as I want to think my hair is not a factor in not getting offers, she has planted a cloud of doubt in my head. What do you guys think? Now I am self conscious about how to wear my hair on interviews. My hair is still relatively short and have been wearing twist outs except for the most recent interview in which I wore micro braids (which by the way I wore for graduation because otherwise my grandmother would have spent the whole day discussing how terrible she thinks my hair is instead of me getting my Master's :/)

Thoughts? Insights?
First Big Chop 5/27/09
2nd Big Chop 9/11/2009
Texture: 4a/4b
My Blog: www.naturallyfab.wordpress.com
Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/cbussie

Comments

  • hippychichippychic Posts: 4,673Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    did you read cali chick's post? very inspirational :occasion9:
    don't let your grandmother (though you love her) put that doubt in your head. :)
    LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity:?, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

    faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    I'm sure Grandma loves you, but she's old school. In many places, your hair doesn't matter. The CEO of Xerox is natural. If she was able to get an executive position with natural hair, you certainly can get a counseling job with yours. You just have to be confident and positive.
    Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
    Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
    BC'd: 9/18/09
    Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
    Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
    Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

    http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/
  • clbussieclbussie Posts: 115Registered Users
    hippychic wrote: »
    did you read cali chick's post? very inspirational :occasion9:
    don't let your grandmother (though you love her) put that doubt in your head. :)

    Yes I read her post. She got her job two days later. But my three turn downs just have me discouraged and my grandma's comments made my mind wander.
    First Big Chop 5/27/09
    2nd Big Chop 9/11/2009
    Texture: 4a/4b
    My Blog: www.naturallyfab.wordpress.com
    Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/cbussie
  • NaturalistaNaturalista Posts: 5,491Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    clbussie wrote: »
    hippychic wrote: »
    did you read cali chick's post? very inspirational :occasion9:
    don't let your grandmother (though you love her) put that doubt in your head. :)

    Yes I read her post. She got her job two days later. But my three turn downs just have me discouraged and my grandma's comments made my mind wander.

    My grandmother thinks curls are awful, and the only reason she still wears her curls is because 40+ yrs of trying to straighten them with relaxer never got rid of them! She's not supportive of my hair either, but I don't study her. She still has a set view in her mind what beauty is and is too set in her ways to revise it.

    Anyway, its NOT your hair. I have a friend with very similar hair to yours that's in the last rounds of getting a job under CEO of a hedge fund. If she plays her cards right, she'll be a naturalista handling several MILLION dollar accounts!

    So.. consider this growing pains of an economy not yet recovered, and keep your head up!
    Type: 3c with some 4a highlighted
    Low porosity thick/coarse texture. nml elasticity
    Routine: No rules, just happy hair

    Cleanse: CJDF, Prell, LUSH Curly Wurly, Bobeam
    LI/RO:BBB, CJ, SheaM, HEHIS, Garnier, KBN Shealoe, CD Chocolat, Oyin HH
    Styling: CJ, CR, UFD, Zuresh, Ecostyler,MJ
    PT/DT: BBB, CJ, Lather, MJSSB

    HUGE PJJJJJJJJ!!!!:love4:

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]]
    Facebook|Twitter
  • blessedhimeblessedhime Posts: 1,458Registered Users
    clbussie, don't let your grandma's words get you down. Since you were turned down, those jobs were obviously not for you. The job that you were destined for is right around the corner. Keep your chin up, rock your natural hair and have confidence in yourself. Think of this as a challenge with a most rewarding end. Ignore the negative and think positive. :thumbright: :D
    Blessed Princess Diamante, High Archivist of the Thrifty Trinitarians in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Last Relaxer: July 31st, 2008
    BC: 14th August, 2009
    Favourite Product Line: None at the moment
    HGs: Amla, brahmi, maka, neem, hibiscus and fenugreek powders.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Hakim NuraldinHakim Nuraldin Posts: 1,467Registered Users
    Please don't give up clbussie. I understand how you must be feeling, but once you've undermined your own self confidence, sometimes it's hard (or takes a while) to get it back. You're a well educated and beautiful woman, so the company that deserves you will hire you based on your attributes that they can benefit from. Hair isn't a part of that.

    Above all, be confident. Sometimes you have to fake confidence. But above all believe in yourself and put out those good vibes. Sounds corny, but it's true. Sometimes we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. Just make sure you're professional and mentally ready wherever you go. I think it will work out well for you. I'm sending positive thoughts and vibes your way. Hugs!
  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    The job I have now... i got while wearing an afro.

    I went on a Job interview on monday... rocked it... the interviewer (latino male) wanted me to come in for a second interview with the Executive Director. But due to the instability of their grant, I turned it down.

    I was interviewed by another organization on wednesday, I rocked it. I got the job. The interviewer was a black woman with straight hair. I actually had a little doubt in me when I met her because I was afraid she would either find my hair unprofessional or think I'm some sort of radical political person (which to some degree I am but my hair has nothin to do with it ;) lol )

    Anyway, I knew I was well qualified for both positions I interviewed for. I just had to brag about my strengths and talk about how great I was while rockin my badass suit. If my hair was ever a thought in their mind, by the end of the interview all they could think about was "She's hired."

    It cold be many other reasons why you aren't getting hired. I don't know what your experience level is... and age is also a factor. you look really young as do I. And in my first interview, the guy told me that I look really young and that some job interviewers would question that. Also they look at the year you received your BA. They assume you completed that around 22 or 23 then they add however many years to that to assume your age.. so if you got your degree in 07 they assume in 2010 that you're about 25. So honestly, I think your youthful look is more of a turn off than your hair... and I'm not giving you that info to give you somethin else to be self conscious about... but knowing this info, use it to your advantage and in your interviews make sure to highlight your strengths and experience. Detail particular situations that you've overcome or grew from. They LOVE that sh*t. Plus it shows maturity.

    and also... i studied ALOT for my interviews. I went online and found great answers for tough interview questions. I even had two job interview apps on my iphone and studied them religiously. I even looked up job qualification requirements for other agencies or companies that had job postings of similar positions and figured out ways to describe my experience in relation the job qualifications.

    I don't know what all you have been doing to prep for your interviews... but I'm a very VERY self conscious person. But in order for me to showcase confidence so they don't see my insecurities, I had to prepare and tap into those strengths that I have so I can present them with the best person for the position they are hiring for. Young or not... afro or not... I had to come wit it!

    Hope that helps girl!
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

    www.lifestarbeauty.com
    Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    Please don't give up clbussie. I understand how you must be feeling, but once you've undermined your own self confidence, sometimes it's hard (or takes a while) to get it back. You're a well educated and beautiful woman, so the company that deserves you will hire you based on your attributes that they can benefit from. Hair isn't a part of that.

    Above all, be confident. Sometimes you have to fake confidence. But above all believe in yourself and put out those good vibes. Sounds corny, but it's true. Sometimes we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. Just make sure you're professional and mentally ready wherever you go. I think it will work out well for you. I'm sending positive thoughts and vibes your way. Hugs!

    REAL SH*T!! She Preachin!!!
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

    www.lifestarbeauty.com
    Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


  • clbussieclbussie Posts: 115Registered Users
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    The job I have now... i got while wearing an afro.

    I went on a Job interview on monday... rocked it... the interviewer (latino male) wanted me to come in for a second interview with the Executive Director. But due to the instability of their grant, I turned it down.

    I was interviewed by another organization on wednesday, I rocked it. I got the job. The interviewer was a black woman with straight hair. I actually had a little doubt in me when I met her because I was afraid she would either find my hair unprofessional or think I'm some sort of radical political person (which to some degree I am but my hair has nothin to do with it ;) lol )

    Anyway, I knew I was well qualified for both positions I interviewed for. I just had to brag about my strengths and talk about how great I was while rockin my badass suit. If my hair was ever a thought in their mind, by the end of the interview all they could think about was "She's hired."

    It cold be many other reasons why you aren't getting hired. I don't know what your experience level is... and age is also a factor. you look really young as do I. And in my first interview, the guy told me that I look really young and that some job interviewers would question that. Also they look at the year you received your BA. They assume you completed that around 22 or 23 then they add however many years to that to assume your age.. so if you got your degree in 07 they assume in 2010 that you're about 25. So honestly, I think your youthful look is more of a turn off than your hair... and I'm not giving you that info to give you somethin else to be self conscious about... but knowing this info, use it to your advantage and in your interviews make sure to highlight your strengths and experience. Detail particular situations that you've overcome or grew from. They LOVE that sh*t. Plus it shows maturity.

    and also... i studied ALOT for my interviews. I went online and found great answers for tough interview questions. I even had two job interview apps on my iphone and studied them religiously. I even looked up job qualification requirements for other agencies or companies that had job postings of similar positions and figured out ways to describe my experience in relation the job qualifications.

    I don't know what all you have been doing to prep for your interviews... but I'm a very VERY self conscious person. But in order for me to showcase confidence so they don't see my insecurities, I had to prepare and tap into those strengths that I have so I can present them with the best person for the position they are hiring for. Young or not... afro or not... I had to come wit it!

    Hope that helps girl!

    Thanks Cali Chick. I am recently out of graduate school and this are my first interviews for "real" jobs. After reading your post I've realized that I could be doing alot more to prepare. Do you have any recommendations for the websites that you visited for the tough interview questions? The toughest one I struggle with is "what's your greatest weakness?" question.
    First Big Chop 5/27/09
    2nd Big Chop 9/11/2009
    Texture: 4a/4b
    My Blog: www.naturallyfab.wordpress.com
    Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/cbussie
  • Cali ChikCali Chik Posts: 1,494Registered Users
    clbussie wrote: »
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    The job I have now... i got while wearing an afro.

    I went on a Job interview on monday... rocked it... the interviewer (latino male) wanted me to come in for a second interview with the Executive Director. But due to the instability of their grant, I turned it down.

    I was interviewed by another organization on wednesday, I rocked it. I got the job. The interviewer was a black woman with straight hair. I actually had a little doubt in me when I met her because I was afraid she would either find my hair unprofessional or think I'm some sort of radical political person (which to some degree I am but my hair has nothin to do with it ;) lol )

    Anyway, I knew I was well qualified for both positions I interviewed for. I just had to brag about my strengths and talk about how great I was while rockin my badass suit. If my hair was ever a thought in their mind, by the end of the interview all they could think about was "She's hired."

    It cold be many other reasons why you aren't getting hired. I don't know what your experience level is... and age is also a factor. you look really young as do I. And in my first interview, the guy told me that I look really young and that some job interviewers would question that. Also they look at the year you received your BA. They assume you completed that around 22 or 23 then they add however many years to that to assume your age.. so if you got your degree in 07 they assume in 2010 that you're about 25. So honestly, I think your youthful look is more of a turn off than your hair... and I'm not giving you that info to give you somethin else to be self conscious about... but knowing this info, use it to your advantage and in your interviews make sure to highlight your strengths and experience. Detail particular situations that you've overcome or grew from. They LOVE that sh*t. Plus it shows maturity.

    and also... i studied ALOT for my interviews. I went online and found great answers for tough interview questions. I even had two job interview apps on my iphone and studied them religiously. I even looked up job qualification requirements for other agencies or companies that had job postings of similar positions and figured out ways to describe my experience in relation the job qualifications.

    I don't know what all you have been doing to prep for your interviews... but I'm a very VERY self conscious person. But in order for me to showcase confidence so they don't see my insecurities, I had to prepare and tap into those strengths that I have so I can present them with the best person for the position they are hiring for. Young or not... afro or not... I had to come wit it!

    Hope that helps girl!

    Thanks Cali Chick. I am recently out of graduate school and this are my first interviews for "real" jobs. After reading your post I've realized that I could be doing alot more to prepare. Do you have any recommendations for the websites that you visited for the tough interview questions? The toughest one I struggle with is "what's your greatest weakness?" question.
    I don't have any websites saved but I just googled that question. But what I did when I was asked the question, is I re-highlighted my strengths and explained that my strengths came from weakness that I learned how to turn into strong characteristics. I then went on to give a scenario of how my weakness was turned into a strength. I tried to explain a situation that was pretty recent to show that I am taking strides to work on those weaknesses.

    But basically the trick is to not say "Well my weakness is..." start off with "I have recently been working on my..." and then explain something you've been working on. Since you don't have much work experience in your field, you want to give an example of how you overcame a struggle (or weakness).

    But just google "Tough interview questions" or "How to answer interview questions" I mean I googled the sh*t outta interview prep stuff.

    Also rehearse your answers. And whatever you do... say NOTHING negative about any other ppl, organizations, institutions, etc... twist everything into a positive.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

    www.lifestarbeauty.com
    Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


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