College blues

RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
Le sigh...

It's the end of a very painful college decision season for us. My 2nd son wanted SO badly to attend Michigan State Univ. He was eating/breathing/sleeping Spartan Green for months and months. He wanted so badly to swim for them. But he got absolutely no financial assistance (the government says we're rich :roll:), and we just couldn't work out the $40,000/year out-of-state tuition costs without resorting to legal loan sharks.

So, he's decided to attend a local state college, where he can still swim, but at a lower division, and much less prestigious. He's disappointed, but at least he won't be drowned in debt when he's done.

I hate that college is so expensive. I feel like I've crushed his dreams...but dreams sometimes don't work out.

I feel better though. The thought of him having loans that big were giving me stomachaches.
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  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    I'm sorry. I think the cost of college is ridiculous and I dread to think what it will cost when my daughter is ready to attend (she's 4). It's not the end of the world, he may like it more than he imagined and it will be a big plus to start out without a giant amount of debt.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    How disappointing, RCW.
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    That does suck for him. But you're right, and I think in the long run he'll be glad he doesn't have all that debt, too.
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  • yv0nneyv0nne Posts: 372Registered Users
    University is SO expensive .. I feel awful for students who have to pay to attend. The loans most graduates start out with puts them at such a disadvantage right from the beginning.
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  • helloyellowbirdhelloyellowbird Banned Posts: 1,632Banned Users
    It drives me nuts how expensive college is in America. In most places in Europe it's either free, or a few hundred euros. I tell my German/Austrian friends all the time that they got it good. I wish that I could spend a lousy 200euros per semester instead of shelling out $2000+

    I wish that most Americans were in support of raising taxes for higher education. I know that I support it.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Sometimes some dreams have to be put on hold or delayed. He's lucky to have a wise and loving mom.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    The dream isn't on hold or delayed. It's over. It's much less anyway. If he doesn't swim Division I this Fall, he never will. At his age, getting to the Olympics without swimming Division I in college is fairly impossible.

    For him, college was all about the swimming. He's good. Really good. But he's not fantastic. He would have had to be fantastic to get a scholarship for it. He's facing his inadequacy, and it's painful for him.

    He's going to swim Division 2 at the local school. He'll be a star...a big fish in a smaller pond. I hope that's enough for him. The swim coach from there called just now...they are going to offer him a little scholarship money for him to swim there. That's exciting, even though it's only a small amount. He's feeling a little better I think.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I hope he does feel better about it. It sounds like he is still off to better and bigger things. I wish him lots of luck. Debt is hard thing for newly graduated people to face.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    rcw...you'd be surprised the diamonds in the rough that are found in cc...I think things are still hopeful & totally agree w/ spec...
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    rcw...you'd be surprised the diamonds in the rough that are found in cc...I think things are still hopeful & totally agree w/ spec...


    He's not going to a CC. He's going to a real 4-year university. Just much less prestigious than MSU.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    :notworthy:
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    It is unfortunate that your son could not go to the university of his dreams.

    I managed to go to my top choice which is expensive but not as expensive as others. I am lucky I have a small trust fund from when my parents split up. But it is slowly diminishing. I am hoping I won't have to get out more loans (that aren't from the government.)

    He may find he loves it there. Who knows.

    Best of luck too him.:)
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  • ThickBrownCurlsThickBrownCurls Posts: 33Registered Users
    A friend of mine got into MIT this year, but he didn't get any aid. He's going to a state university instead.
    :lurk:
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Posts: 1,767Registered Users
    I hope day by day he begins to feel better and better about all of this. For myself, I can tell you that I still owe thousands and thousands in student loans. Some days, I really do sit there and wonder if it was really worth it:?.
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  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    College costs suck. My daughter freaked after her 1st year and decided to not finish because she started adding up how much she would owe when she graduated. I would have done everything I could have but she was not going for it. And this was a in-state university.
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  • SCGSCG Posts: 5,416Registered Users
    Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that, RCW. I know how tough those decisions are... I really hope he ends up happy with the decision, and finds this other "thing". (Unless he's found it already!) Just because swimming didn't work out doesn't mean other things won't!

    I'm going to a state-school branch campus. Of course, it was between that an CC because of high costs (and very little aid for my apparently "rich" family) of other four year schools - even other state schools. They threw quite a bit of money at me, because they're a tiny campus and are trying to draw people there. So, branch campus it is! I'm not thrilled with it, but I'm slowly accepting it, and getting a little excited. I know in the end I'll really be happy because I won't have nearly as much debt. But, I'm notoriously stingy, so of course that's a motivator for me! ;)

    I can't really relate too closely with your son, but I know it's hard to have to compromise the school that you really want to go to because of costs and whatnot. Like I said, I really do hope he's happy with the decision in the end! :)

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  • KikapooKikapoo Posts: 1,087Registered Users
    That sucks :-(.

    I'm going to the cheapest school I could find for my current degree--I just couldn't justify massive loans for a degree in Library and Information Science. So it's not the "best" school out there...but it's cheap and accredited, and I don't regret it at all.

    My brother lived and breathed baseball--he planned to play in college, until he tore his rotator cuff. He ended up starting out at a smaller state school and then transferring to GA Tech. As it turns out, he is incredibly smart and will soon be graduating with joint degrees in physics and engineering. It was overshadowed before by his baseball career--he never HAD to be smart before. But it worked out great!

    Anyway, I know it sucks for you and your son, but I hope it works out for the best!
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    University costs in the US are nuts. I don't get it. How can any undergraduate degree be worth $160,000?

    I'm disappointed for your son, RCW. But not drowning in debt at the end of the day will be such a great advantage.
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Posts: 3,778Registered Users
    I'm sorry your son won't be going to MSU (Go Spartans!), RCW. But as someone who graduated with almost $100,000 in student loan debt, I have frequently questioned my decision to finance law school with student loans. And I'm one of the lucky ones whose parents helped out.

    Good luck to him! You must be so proud.
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  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I feel for your son. I think he's lucky to be going to a local 4 year school though.

    Back when I wanted to go to school, I was denied financial aide or anything because my parents were also 'rich.' Well, my parents could not pay at all for me to go. So, I had to pay myself. Needless to say, I did not go. It took me 5 years to get an AA at a JC because I had to pay for it all.

    I am just NOW going to get a Bachelor's and I am 33.
    :rambo:
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    That sucks. I wanted to go to an out of state college too but had to go to a local school. I'm so glad I was only 10k in debt when I was done. That took long enough to pay off, I can't imagine anything more, totally not worth it. I'm so grateful my parents didn't let me get loans(large ones at least).
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,391Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I've never gotten any state or federal scholarships. As a college student, my parents had too much money. As a grad student, I have no dependents or mortgage. But I get financial aid in the form of federal loans.
  • cyndicyndi Posts: 3,341Registered Users
    Would they not even find a way to give him in-state tuition. When I moved back to Texas, I didn't qualify for instate because I had been in NYC for four years. I couldn't get my status changed, but my department gave me a small scholarship ($1000), which qualified me for in-state tuition. Maybe the swim department could engineer something similar?
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  • Myradella3Myradella3 Posts: 2,481Registered Users
    How frustrating for your family. It's a hard life lesson to learn so early. You just don't always get everything you want. And a great lesson is that debt is bad.

    The big fish little pond thinking is probably perfect for him. I just saw that a guy from little Morehouse College was drafted by the NFL. I know that swimming is different but who knows what opportunities there are ahead for him.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    We're feeling better today. Feeling good the next morning is always the sign of a good decision.

    He says he's a bit embarrassed, because he's told so many people that he was going to MSU, and now he has to re-tell them that he's not. But, other than that, he's OK with West Chester Univ. He did treat me to a video on Youtube by a guy who apparently went to WCU...nice...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYx7YG0RsFY

    As for giving him in-state rates at MSU...can't be done. Swimming is an intimate little sport. Tiny teams. No clout. If he was a football player, maybe he'd have a chance. But, alas, with swimming, unless you're Michael Phelps, no one is going to do bupkus for you.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    That's okay...as I always say, it doesn't matter where you start, it's where you end up...
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • GuardianBGuardianB Posts: 1,905Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Have you all thought about Mich Air National Guard. Could be an option to get him tuition assistance and GI Bill. Pick the right career field and it's barely the military with often little chance of deploying ever. Especially for a high level athlete in competitions. They (we) make exceptions.
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  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,391Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    He did treat me to a video on Youtube by a guy who apparently went to WCU...nice...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYx7YG0RsFY
    Oh god, I'd forgotten about that guy since I moved away from Frat Row!

    In his most popular song, he basically says that it's wrong to have sex with women who are too drunk to give real consent. So I guess that's a plus, compared to a lot of popular rap.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    GuardianB wrote: »
    Have you all thought about Mich Air National Guard. Could be an option to get him tuition assistance and GI Bill. Pick the right career field and it's barely the military with often little chance of deploying ever. Especially for a high level athlete in competitions. They (we) make exceptions.
    I've only deployed where I wanted
    since 1997 when I left active duty
    


    Thought of it. He's a coward and is not interested in doing military service. At all.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    As for giving him in-state rates at MSU...can't be done. Swimming is an intimate little sport. Tiny teams. No clout. If he was a football player, maybe he'd have a chance. But, alas, with swimming, unless you're Michael Phelps, no one is going to do bupkus for you.

    Very interesting. I wonder if that's why the parents around here push so hard with soccer, football and lacrosse (lots of lacrosse families around here). I know a family whose son is going to West Point for "free," on a lacrosse scholarship.

    My son is not sporty at all. His thing is music. Maybe we'll win the lottery before 2017.

    I'm glad your son is feeling better today. It's so hard to see them disappointed. But he sounds resilient, like his mom.

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