CurlTalk

using a person's given name on a messageboard

FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
I've noticed this a few times here. The scenario, as I interpret it, is that members who know another member's real given name will address that member in a post using their real name and not their username. I'm wondering why they would do that? Is it a slip up? I personally find it confusing, given that I don't really know people's names aside from their user names plus I would think that unless someone's user name is their given name, then that person probably doesn't want to be using their real name on the board. Is it just to show a deeper level of familiarity between these two persons or is it just as I mentioned earlier, a slip-up?
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Comments

  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    I think it's usually just a slip-up. I've done this before with people I talk to outside of this board, and it was a slipup for me. Of course, no one has to worry about that with me since "Rheanna" is also my first name; I make it easy for everyone! :D
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  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I don't know anyone's real name (unless it is their user name like Rheanna). Hmm now I feel left out...

    :)
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  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    GRR this board! Ugh. DP, sorry! :oops:
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  • LiliasWapitiLiliasWapiti Posts: 90Registered Users
    I have read that in a few posts too, and, it confuses the heck out of me. I don't know anyone's real names here either, so, I do not have the chance to slip up.
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  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.
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  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    PartyHair wrote:
    I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

    Good point!
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  • SaKkehSaKkeh Posts: 986Registered Users
    I've never personally seen this interchange of real and usernames....but what makes me cringe is the use of the real names of family members, husbands, children on public message board, as well as photos of them --this one and others that I am a member of.
    I would never expose myself like that, whether or not the person whose name/photo I am posting knows that I'm doing it. You cant be too careful, I think.
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,572Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Rheanna83 wrote:
    PartyHair wrote:
    I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

    Good point!
    agreed. I do that too sometimes. But I never use their full given name, just initial, unless they sign their posting with their name.

    I respect the privacy of given names vs usernames. I figure if they wanted their real name here, they'd use it. Me? I want to remain (mostly) annonymous! :wink: :lol:
    SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring" :D
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  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    PartyHair wrote:
    I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

    Yes, using first initials does make it more personal.

    I don't think that anyone has ever used my real name on this board, but I have posted it on here.
    :rambo:
  • lauraloolauraloo Posts: 2,121Registered Users
    Everyone knows my first name! And I figure if you don't know my last name, what does it matter? You even know the state I'm in and what I look like and I think that it still doesn't matter... there are FIVE Laura _____'s (my last name AND we have the same middle initial) just at my SCHOOL, let alone in the whole city/state. Maybe I'm not being super careful but I guess I just feel safe on this specific website. My fotki pictures have a password, too...
    Not all who wander are lost.

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  • KurleeKurlee Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    I am pretty paranoid about giving real names/info. Seems it is smart not to.
    I know the real name on a few curlies here but I wouldn't use them on the board if I wasn't told it was ok. Even then if feels a bit weird.

  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    SaKkeh wrote:
    I've never personally seen this interchange of real and usernames....but what makes me cringe is the use of the real names of family members, husbands, children on public message board, as well as photos of them --this one and others that I am a member of.
    I would never expose myself like that, whether or not the person whose name/photo I am posting knows that I'm doing it. You cant be too careful, I think.

    ITA
  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    I don't get being so private about a first name or even a picture, but I can respect peoples right to do that and their desire for privacy, especially when it comes to their kids, but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you? I don't know. I'd rather someone be too private than those who give out all their info; I have a couple family members (under 18 ) with ALL of their info on myspace - school, city, birthday, first middle & last names, phone number, etc! :shock: :shock:

    Edited to fix my 8 that became 8) hehe!
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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Posts: 2,671Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I only know a few first names here and I don't use them because that doesn't seem to be part of the board culture. On my mommy board, my name was part of my screenname for a while. Everyone there knows each other's first names and the people who don't share them are regarded as kind of odd. Different board culture.

    As for sharing pics of family, good luck finding me though a pic of my child. He's already plastered all over the internet. I figure one more place isn't going to do much harm. Plus, I like looking at him when I post. I understand being careful but some things aren't worth worrying about to me.
    image.php?type=2&o=5&c=1&date=2009-10-07&babyname=Sebastian

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  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    I think that over the course of time people may not realize the cumulative amount of personal information they put out about themselves on a message board. Because of that I think that those who are uncomfortable with the thought keep all or most of that information private. I see no need to ridicule that decision (not that you were Rheanna).

    For example, on this board alone there is a link with a map that pinpoints people's location. I believe it even mentions hometowns. People mention their kids' names, occupations, colleges, etc. If one were inclined to do so I'm sure people could track posters' information and even track them down. A self-portrait in an avatar could turn out to be an ID card.

    I think someone on this board has been stalked by a member. ( was it Burt?). I remember someone else having another member contact their job's HR department and make accusations. I may not be remembering that entirely but something like that happened.

    Yes, this may all seem extreme but it is possible. In the long run and for the most part we don't know each other. And given some of the knock-down, drag-out "discussions" on this board I can see not wanting its members to be able to track me down. :)
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Rheanna83 wrote:
    ...but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you?

    It's not that someone could find your kid just from a photo. It's because there are perverts out there who only want a photo.
  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote:
    Rheanna83 wrote:
    ...but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you?

    It's not that someone could find your kid just from a photo. It's because there are perverts out there who only want a photo.

    Yeah I completely understand that as well.
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  • Pacific PoppyPacific Poppy Posts: 253Registered Users
    DarkAngel wrote:

    As for sharing pics of family, good luck finding me though a pic of my child. He's already plastered all over the internet. I figure one more place isn't going to do much harm. Plus, I like looking at him when I post. I understand being careful but some things aren't worth worrying about to me.

    This is the way I feel about my kids' pictures, although I have stopped using them, per dh's request. The kids are freakin cute and I've stumbled accross pictures of them now twice, on websites about events that we attended. I never saw anyone take pics, but there they are. I'm assuming this happens regularly, but we (and here I mean all of us) just don't usually know. People could gather far more about me and them by knowing that we were at those events, than they ever could by anything I've posted here.
    3c, CG Fine hairs, med growth.
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  • lazy loopslazy loops Posts: 8,792Registered Users
    FreeCurls wrote:
    I think someone on this board has been stalked by a member. (was it Burt?). I remember someone else having another member contact their job's HR department and make accusations. I may not be remembering that entirely but something like that happened.

    You're shi-tt-in me! :shock: Holy crap!
  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    nope. Someone else whose been on this board for awhile may remember it better than I.

    But for example Dia99 springs to mind. Not that I've bben tracking her but I know her, her husband's and I think her daughter's name. Unless she's been lying I think I know what state she lives in. And there's a picture of her daughter in her avatar. Just typing that out makes me uncomfortable knowing that much. I do not know this woman. But If i remember correctly there are mental health issues in her family. I think she comes originally from a southern state. She's a christian. etc.

    Just trying to make a point and Dia99, if you object at all to my listing these things I will edit my post and mean no offense.
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


  • PeppyPeppy Posts: 3,290Registered Users
    lauraloo wrote:
    My fotki pictures have a password, too...

    See that's something I don't understand at all. Tons of people here have password-protected photo albums, but have the password posted in their signature. Why not just make it public? :?
  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,760Registered Users
    Free Curls, you are scaring me!
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  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    Peppy wrote:
    lauraloo wrote:
    My fotki pictures have a password, too...

    See that's something I don't understand at all. Tons of people here have password-protected photo albums, but have the password posted in their signature. Why not just make it public? :?

    I don't really get that either, which is why I just made mine public. The only thing I could think is that that way they're not out for everyone to see, just people that come on this board. Of course, this board is public, so I'm not really sure either.
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  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    FreeCurls wrote:
    nope. Someone else whose been on this board for awhile may remember it better than I.

    But for example Dia99 springs to mind. Not that I've bben tracking her but I know her, her husband's and I think her daughter's name. Unless she's been lying I think I know what state she lives in. And there's a picture of her daughter in her avatar. Just typing that out makes me uncomfortable knowing that much. I do not know this woman. But If i remember correctly there are mental health issues in her family. I think she comes originally from a southern state. She's a christian. etc.

    Just trying to make a point and Dia99, if you object at all to my listing these things I will edit my post and mean no offense.

    You definitely know my daughter's name because it's Dia. You also know the year she was born because it's 99.

    Everything else you wrote is correct, as well. If you're in Honolulu before I move next summer, look me up in Manoa. :D You've paid enough attention to my posts that you'll feel like family (this is not a comment on mental health)! :lol:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    FreeCurls wrote:

    Just trying to make a point and Dia99, if you object at all to my listing these things I will edit my post and mean no offense.

    To address this specifically - No, I am not offended by your very thorough detailing of my info! :D

    If I put it out there, I guess anyone has access to it. I think I subconsciously am aware of that much info about other posters, but I've never sat down to put it together. Should I be flattered or checking my locks?? :twisted:

    JUST KIDDING!!

    I put a playful rib in my menu thread. Please know that I am not angry, and have no negative feelings whatsoever. If it makes you uncomfortable for us (posters who share personal info), I think it's good that you highlighted it in that way so people can have a different perspective. There definitely are strange and dangerous people out there! I know since I'm related to some of them...

    Anyway, thanks for thinking of me! :wink:

    Sincerely,

    edukinktion (that's my username on another board that I've never posted on) :lol:
    Now everyone knows I'm a teacher with kinky hair, too!
    
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,572Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Rheanna83 wrote:
    Peppy wrote:
    lauraloo wrote:
    My fotki pictures have a password, too...

    See that's something I don't understand at all. Tons of people here have password-protected photo albums, but have the password posted in their signature. Why not just make it public? :?

    I don't really get that either, which is why I just made mine public. The only thing I could think is that that way they're not out for everyone to see, just people that come on this board. Of course, this board is public, so I'm not really sure either.
    I figure that way mostly only us curlies will be seeing it. If a troll wanted to come searching here for pics, oh well. But the average joe perv won't be seeing my face all over the internet. And *never* my son's, as adorable as he is! :) Although I will have to post his head without face soon-- he's getting some serious curls! woohoo! :D
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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Sometimes I catch myself using a poster's actual name if we've become close, but I try not to do that. Unless it's Rheanna, because she doesn't have another screen name. :P

    And I'll use my first name! Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen! :o As for the picture, well, I'm an egomaniac. Not that I have any right to be, but hey. :wink:
  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    Sometimes I catch myself using a poster's actual name if we've become close, but I try not to do that. Unless it's Rheanna, because she doesn't have another screen name. :P

    And I'll use my first name! Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen! :o As for the picture, well, I'm an egomaniac. Not that I have any right to be, but hey. :wink:

    See... my name is so great anyhow, how could I possibly top it with a made up one? :lol:

    Ahhh I feel special; I've been mentioned two times in this thread! Go me! ha.
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  • SaKkehSaKkeh Posts: 986Registered Users
    Rheanna83 wrote:
    I don't get being so private about a first name or even a picture, but I can respect peoples right to do that and their desire for privacy, especially when it comes to their kids, but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you?

    Its not so much a matter of people finding anyone. I just think people should be careful about putting their business out there on a public message board and posting pictures to go with it. You just never know. You really dont need people to have certain types of information about you and your family PLUS photos to go with it.

    FreeCurls wrote:
    I think that over the course of time people may not realize the cumulative amount of personal information they put out about themselves on a message board. Because of that I think that those who are uncomfortable with the thought keep all or most of that information private. I see no need to ridicule that decision (not that you were Rheanna).

    For example, on this board alone there is a link with a map that pinpoints people's location. I believe it even mentions hometowns. People mention their kids' names, occupations, colleges, etc. If one were inclined to do so I'm sure people could track posters' information and even track them down. A self-portrait in an avatar could turn out to be an ID card.

    I think someone on this board has been stalked by a member. ( was it Burt?). I remember someone else having another member contact their job's HR department and make accusations. I may not be remembering that entirely but something like that happened.

    Yes, this may all seem extreme but it is possible. In the long run and for the most part we don't know each other. And given some of the knock-down, drag-out "discussions" on this board I can see not wanting its members to be able to track me down. :)

    Hmmm.
  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    I know! So now everyone thinks I'm some message board freak monitoring people's info, which I'm totally not. Nor am I all that weirded out about putting personal information out there. I'm just careful about it. I just thought I'd present another POV. And not having to do any research or even think very hard about it I was able to recall that info about Dia99, who I'm glad doesn't think I'm stalking her :)


    So, in the immortal words of Tim Gunn "Carry on!" :)

    however now I'm kinda curious to see what people think they know about me. I know I've out a little bit of info about myself out there. It would be interesting to see how it all adds up. (if it adds up)
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


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