A deep down confession

curlylaura

I have struggled with my weight for about 5 years now. I have never been overweight but 5 years ago I ended up severely underweight, borderline anorexic. Even though I've gained the weight back it's done a number of my mind. I've been out of action at the gym for a few months due to surgery and now I'm allowed back I feel guilty if I don't go. I didn't gain or loose any weight while I was injured, just lost a bit of strength in my legs. I can see a vague outline of my ribs. I don't like it.

I don't like feeling guilty for not going to the gym. I must admit I am scared of putting weight on.

I'm sick of everyone at work saying they need to go on diets, none of them do, they're fine. But it's constantly diet diet diet talk. And to top off my feeling like crud, I have water retention this week so my clothes are a bit tight and it's making me feel I need to loose a bit of weight when the bloating will be gone by next week.

How can I stop feeling like this?

ninja dog

Oh, Honey ---- I wish I knew.

So sorry.

curlypearl

ninja dog wrote: »

Oh, Honey ---- I wish I knew.

So sorry.

+1 This country is obsessed with weight and diet. When I was skeletal following surgery, people kept saying how great I looked. It's totally insane.

curlymelanie

The diet talk get better once you feel better about yourself (no matter what your weight is). I would suggest you write about it (pain in the butt but seems to help me think clearer), find someone to talk to or get some therapy. I often just leave when I hear an excessive amount of the diet talk. I don't need to hear it. I don't think it helps anyone except it helps people bond.

Can you do simple exercises right now like going for a walk? That should help you feel better physically and mentally.

Mamacurl3

Laura, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I know what it feels like as a recovered anorexic, though it's been many many years for me. I live a healthy lifestyle, stay active, eat well and avoid diets at all costs, pride myself on doing what is best for my body and for my children (being a healthy role model). However, those feelings of guilt still creep around in my head when I overeat, or eat sweets, or don't get the exercise I planned on. It's hard to push them away, but as time goes on and the more you do it..the easier it gets. Stay focused on what's healthy about eating right and exercise and it becomes so much a part of who you are that you are stronger against the rest. :hug:

curlylaura

Thanks for your support everyone.

I wish I wasn't like this. I've seen a councillor but it was about what caused me to end up like this rather than a specialist for food and exercise issues. I don't know if it would be classed as an Eating Disorder because I wasn't diagnosed as one but maybe I could speak to someone about the anxiety.