Funniest/dumbest unsolicited advice?

RheannaRheanna Registered Users Posts: 2,614
Please share yours! Here's my favorite thus far:

Basically, it's my fault Ava has reflux, as told to me by the very overbearing sister of my backup babysitter who was at the sitter's house on afternoon.

1) I apparently do not burp her right. The only way you can burp a baby is to pin their legs between your thighs and squeeze their legs good & tight with yours, lean them alllll the way over your thigh, and pound on their back. You should do this at least every 1/2 oz during a bottle. If you do this, they will arch their back and scream like wild banshees, but they won't spit up frequently or have acid in their bellies or throats. Like magic!

2) I should stop giving her any formula of any sort. Instead, I should boil beans and then use the juice of the beans in her bottle instead. It "may" make her gassy, but it will fix the reflux. In addition, beans are wonderful for 4 month olds. Lots of fiber and protein and other good stuffs. Everyone knows this. After all, why else would they have that little song... beans, beans, the magical fruit!

3) I should feed her 5-6 oz and then, in about 80 minutes, when she starts to get fussy and rub her eyes (at her normal nap time) obviously she is fussing because she's hungry. That's the only reasons babies fuss or cry. EVER. So instead of trying to get her calmed down for a nap, I should feed her another 6 oz even though it hasn't been an hour 1/2 yet and she usually goes 3-4 hours between feeds. If her tummy is full of food, there won't be room for any acid, right? And *then* when she spits up like a fountain after this second feeding, it's simply because I don't burp her correctly.

Please do share yours.
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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    The scary part is that Hillbetty might actually try to implement some of her superior knowledge while visiting her sister some day.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    My kid tends to have accidents b/c sometimes won't stop to go pee...too busy, but has gotten better depending on the situation.
    There is something wrong w/ the little one! Go to the doc! You're too cheap to go! You suck! blah, blah, fn blah.....:pain10::evil2::pukeleft:
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    My son was 2 weeks old and slept four hours straight while we were visiting my aunt. She had an elderly gentleman visiting too and he told me, "Wakeup that sleeping baby and feed him. He'll be up all night. You'll starve him." umm...what newborn isn't up all hours of the night for atleast the first month or so? I don't know of any baby that won't tell you when they're hungry.
  • RheannaRheanna Registered Users Posts: 2,614
    The scary part is that Hillbetty might actually try to implement some of her superior knowledge while visiting her sister some day.

    That's why she won't be my backup babysitter anymore because she took it all in with wide eyes of amazement and wonder. They did feed her after an hour and 20 minutes even though I told her that overfeeding makes the reflux worse, that she wouldn't need to eat for at least 3 hours, but would be ready for a nap. I told my regular babysitter she is never allowed to leave or get sick again.
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  • subbrocksubbrock Registered Users Posts: 8,212
    any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Registered Users Posts: 1,340
    When I went home for a visit some of my older friends thought it was odd that I was hold my 11 month old so much. Oh sure because teething, driving half way across the country, and being in a strange house isn't nerve wracking for a baby odd part was one of these ladies had 8 kids and the other had 3. Whatever...
  • cymprenicympreni Registered Users Posts: 9,609 Curl Neophyte
    I'm not the "boss" of my son because he insists on wearing his underroos backwards so the picture is in the front. Apparently I'm supposed to fight him over this and make him wear his underwear right.

    A DT claimed if I didn't stop co-sleeping and letting them jump in the bath with me then it would be 15 years before they stopped on their own. Seriously, she said 15 years.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    I can't think of any that are really funny or dumb, but the most RANDOM piece of unsolicited advice....

    My grandma came to visit from Florida after Abram was born. Solomon was delightful and charming while she was here. My grandma said - and I didn't hear this but my husband did - "He's such a good boy. Maybe he's ready to Cry It Out."

    Huh???? We weren't even talking about sleep?
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Registered Users Posts: 2,671 Curl Neophyte
    Said to me by the lady with no teeth about my 4 month old. "What are you feeding him? Have you fed him steak yet? I feed my kids steak from birth."
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    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Registered Users Posts: 2,904
    The only thing that was said to me (at least that I remember) was that I was going to spoil her by holding and wearing her. I ignored that.
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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Registered Users Posts: 9,596
    subbrock wrote: »
    any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.

    I hate when people say that!!! it's so weird, or like everyone gives the baby attention, and the mom will say "she's so spoiled, stop spoiling her so much" ....SHE'S A BABY!
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  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    I got an unsolicited "gift" of a tub of hair grease (first ingredient: mineral oil) from my MIL. My daughter's hair texture is a finer version of mine, so I use some of my products and techniques on my daughter. It struck me as funny that my relaxed headed MIL who kept my daughter for the weekend sent the tub of crap she was using (and I always send the products I use on my daughter in her toiletry kit, but they don't get used) back with my daughter. Thanks, but no thanks.
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Registered Users Posts: 2,904
    gemini wrote: »
    I got an unsolicited "gift" of a tub of hair grease (first ingredient: mineral oil) from my MIL. My daughter's hair texture is a finer version of mine, so I use some of my products and techniques on my daughter. It struck me as funny that my relaxed headed MIL who kept my daughter for the weekend sent the tub of crap she was using (and I always send the products I use on my daughter in her toiletry kit, but they don't get used) back with my daughter. Thanks, but no thanks.

    Something similar happened the first time my MIL kept my daughter. I also send the products that I use in my daughter's hair and they weren't used at all. I was not too happy about that and had a long discussion with my MIL about how I expect my daughter's hair to look.
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Don't spend money on formula; all a baby needs is cow's milked mixed w/ a little Karo syrup!

  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Registered Users Posts: 3,778
    My MIL told me I didn't need to go DD everytime she cried. DD was a week and a half old at the time. :roll:
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • ninja dogninja dog Registered Users Posts: 23,780 Curl Neophyte
    A doctor told me to have children, despite the fact I'd just told her I didn't want any, and wasn't good with babies at all.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Registered Users Posts: 4,938 Curl Connoisseur
    As someone who had a puker and a crier, I have heard every piece of ignorant advice out there. Nothing surprises me any more. Well, almost nothing.

    A few months ago when my daughter developed dystonia in her right leg, my mom kept going on and on - don't carry her so much. Why are you always carrying her. Make her walk. This still makes me mad when I think about it. It's a neurological disorder. She was fine, now she can't walk. She's three, she doesn't understand what's going on, and instead of carrying her, I should make her fall and crawl her way around? Yeah, let me get right on that. Honestly, I think I can feel my blood pressure going up now, thinking about it and this was back before Christmas.
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,954 Curl Connoisseur
    His eyes will straighten out when he gets older. It's just a baby thing. Thank goodness we didn't listen.

    The swing will spoil him and you'll never get him to sleep on your own. I so wish I hadn't listened to this advice....and just let him sleep in the swing so I could get some sleep.

    Great Grandma and Great Aunt advice...you should alternate a bottle of sugar water for every other feeding. WHAT?
  • vegas_curlsvegas_curls Registered Users Posts: 860 Curl Novice
    subbrock wrote: »
    any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.

    I haven't even delivered yet and I've already gotten this advice.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    CGNYC...how is your little one doing?
  • CGNYCCGNYC Registered Users Posts: 4,938 Curl Connoisseur
    MUCH better, thanks for asking. She's on two meds and responding well. She's walking unassisted and her gait looks normal most of the time. She still can not run but she's getting faster and has learned to scoot around doing this little gallop that is pretty speedy.

    She does have some off days from time to time, but usually they'll be followed by a HUGE leap forward. We saw the neuro again about two weeks ago and he expects a full recovery.

    As all the tests haven't shown anything (MRI, blood test, genetic testing, etc), he thinks in a while (and I'm guessing this will be a few years out), we might take her off the meds to see if it is just a quirk in her development.

    Things are looking much MUCH better!
  • sarah42sarah42 Registered Users Posts: 4,034
    CGNYC, I'm so glad to hear that your daughter is improving and is expected to recover fully. I've been wondering about you and how things were going since you posted about it a few months ago.

    On topic, my mother disagreed with swaddling C because it kept his arms immobile. I was like, Mom, that's the point, so he won't whack himself in the face and wake up.
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  • cymprenicympreni Registered Users Posts: 9,609 Curl Neophyte
    I remembered another one.

    When my boys were newborns, people were always telling me to put rice cereal in their bottles.

    I once had a woman act like my husband was a deadbeat because I went to the grocery store in the week after I gave birth. I was like, um, I had a very uncomplicated delivery, why shouldn't I be out and about? and it was a beautiful spring day and I was stir crazy.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    Not necessarily funny or dumb, but two bits from my trip to Wegmans today that pi$$ed me off...

    In the bulk food/candy section, buying some walnuts, about 3/4 of the way through our shopping trip. Solomon asks for a lemonhead. I say sure and grab him one (anything to get through a shopping trip with a toddler and a baby, right?). Employee nearby shoots me a nasty look. I thought it was because I didn't weigh/bag the lemonhead to pay for it, so I said "He's not going to eat it, he's just going to play with it while it's in the wrapper." (after 5 minutes or so he usually does ask me to open it for him, at which point he holds it in his hand and licks it like a lollipop, he doesn't put the whole thing in his mouth and I watch him closely to make sure he doesn't). The lady then, in a nasty way, said that it was a choking hazard. I can totally dig where she was coming from and if she said it nicely like "He could choke and it would be a liability for the store" I would definitely understand. But she was very rude and nasty about it.

    Seconds later, an older woman (70's probably) looked at Abram, who was wrapped on my back, and the following conversation ensued...
    Her: Is he secure like that?
    Me: (with a smile) Absolutely!
    Her: He doesn't look comfortable. (he was sort of leaning to the side, to look over my shoulder)
    Me: He is.
    Her: So YOU say.
    Me: (with a smile) Well, he'd be crying if he wasn't.
    Her: We did things differently in my day.
    Me: (walking away, under my breath, I don't think she heard) Lucky for me.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • vegas_curlsvegas_curls Registered Users Posts: 860 Curl Novice
    CGNYC - just read what you've gone through with your daughter (from another thread). Brought tears to my eyes.

    What a relief it was to read she's doing better!
  • CGNYCCGNYC Registered Users Posts: 4,938 Curl Connoisseur
    Thanks for thinking of us! It's been scary but she's getting better. She's not improving as quickly as she was a few months ago and it's hard not to get a little freaked out at times, but our neuro seems confident and he's been great so far (we've seen some who weren't so great) so we're staying hopeful! Keep us in your Ts and Ps!

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